"If I were to be reborn again, I'm sure it would be as Marie Antoinette!" I said, giving my most believable fake smile. It's my last one, so I should make it count.
Death had always been walking side by side with me my whole life. My first pet died the moment I held it. I cried for two days straight, but, of course, I was only three. Perhaps I held it too tightly. However, my mother's next born child died while I was taking care of him. Later, my own mother died while out on a stroll with me; this surely cannot be a coincidence. My only explanation is that Death is my best friend. Needless to say, I've avoided becoming close to people in fear of Death becoming jealous and claiming them as his own, and I was doing a pretty good job until I came to this school.
Death is not only my best friend, but my biggest fear as well.
"But you would still be executed…" Hagakure said, obviously not grasping the atmosphere of the situation. I felt my little quote was very notable and clever, but of course he had to ruin it with his oblivious comment. I never thought much of him.
I do not regret what I did. My murders (if you count it as me murdering Ishimaru; I was the one who tricked Yamada into doing it) were obviously the most clever and well thought out, and I did almost succeed. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what else I would have done if I had not murdered Yamada and, by extension, Ishimaru. I needed that money. If I couldn't achieve my dream, I'd surely go insane. As frivolous as my dream may have seemed, it was very important to me. I couldn't live inside that stuffy old school with no one of interest in it. I had to leave. However, that idea is no longer possible. This school was my final destination point. I am about to die. My good friend Death and I were about to be united in a more permanent bond.
Although I do not regret the murders I committed, I cannot say I feel the same way about my life in general. I regret that I didn't discover milk tea sooner in my life. I regret my entire 7th grade year. However, this regret is different. I lost this school trial. My first loss, and my last regret.
I'm not ready to leave this world quite yet, but do I have much of a choice? How much longer can I put this off? I'm terrified, but I must accept the consequences. It's either sink or swim in this world, as my father often told me. I just happened to sink earlier on than most. I took a deep breath as Monobear took my hand. My ever-so-clingy friend Death was breathing down my neck. I am not ready to die, I thought as I gave up on life.