A/N: This is set immediately after 2x06. Let me know what you think. As usual, if you're a guest leaving a review...please leave your name so I have an idea who's who :) Words can't describe how much I miss Graceland...thank you for indulging my versions of what could've, should've or would've been. I'm hoping to post something lighter soon.
Paige's knees were drawn to her chest and her back was leaning up against her headboard. Her room was silent as she stared into nothingness, trying to process the past few days. So far none of the justifications she came up with for Mike leaving Sylmar open made any sense. It was their job to protect the innocent. Not use them as bait to catch bad guys.
Paige didn't even need to look up to know that Mike was hovering in her doorway. It had to be him. They hadn't spoken since their argument in the truck yesterday. Jakes avoided her until today, but he left her room not too long ago. And Mike, she wasn't sure where kept disappearing to. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. Because unless it involved shutting down Sylmar, she wasn't sure she cared.
Paige looked over at him and acknowledged his presence. Apparently, that was the only invitation he needed to enter her room. A few days ago, he wouldn't have needed one. But that was then. This was now. Things had changed.
She probably should've closed her door after Jakes left. She couldn't even remember why she left it open in the first place. Probably so Charlie could just casually glance in and know she was okay and not left wondering. Not that she was okay. But she wasn't in Sylmar anymore. That was more than she could say for her girls.
Paige expectantly looked up at Mike, patiently waiting for him to say his peace and leave. He hesitated about a foot away from her bed and instead of sitting next to her, he occupied the chair across from her.
That was probably a wise decision on his part. She didn't really want to talk to him right now. The last thing she wanted to do was be near him.
His eyes looked around the room and she could tell he noticed the music box Jakes had given her earlier, but he didn't mention it. He seemed to be looking everywhere, but at her.
He was nervous.
For some reason that scared her. Either he had something difficult to tell her or something difficult to ask. If Mike wanted to know what happened to her in Sylmar, he would have to read the report. He lost his right to ask questions when he lied to her.
"I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now," Mike quietly said.
Paige bitterly laughed. That was an understatement.
Mike looked down briefly before meeting her penetrating gaze, "But I need you to know why I couldn't leave you there."
"You lied to me," Paige whispered, trying to hold back tears. "I don't want to hear anything else you have to say, just go, Mike."
"Five minutes, just hear me out."
"Okay, fine. Five minutes." She relented only because she wanted to be done with this conversation. Not because she wanted to hear what he had to say. Not because she could tell how hurt he was that she pushed him away and hadn't gone to him. As cold as it sounded, his pain didn't matter to her.
"I was out on the water with Briggs," Mike began. "I didn't - I didn't even know you had been gone all night. After everything that happened with Jessica pulling your team and me not being able to get it back, I thought you were keeping your distance from me. In the walk back from the beach to Graceland, I tried calling you at least a dozen times. I knew you were gone, I don't know why I kept calling. I was hoping for a miracle. That there was some mistake or something. Every time your voicemail picked up, I swore my heart stopped because I heard your voice and I thought maybe..." Mike's voice trailed off and he shook his head, unable keep the anguish off his face.
17 times. She had 17 missed calls from Mike during that timeframe, all happening within a span of minutes.
"But you were gone and I didn't know where you were. You spent weeks looking for those girls and couldn't find them and then suddenly you were one of them. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to find you. Briggs told me not to send anyone out looking for you, and I suppose that made sense. We didn't want to tip anyone off that you were missing or that you were a federal agent. That could've put you in more danger. I had Lawrence - "
"Lawrence?"
"Jakes' boss at Cal Coast, something was off. Someone tipped Carlito off about the drugs and I held him for questioning. Briggs and I questioned him again. We needed to know everything he knew about the girls. He had to know something. And he did."
Paige watched Mike carefully. He was holding something back from her. Even now, with what he did. He wasn't being completely honest with her.
"Is he alive?"
Mike took a deep breath and released it slowly. "No."
Her eyes widened, "What the hell did - "
"I didn't kill him, someone working for Carlito did after I let him go. Lawrence, he - he had information and he insisted he didn't know anything. I believed him. I shouldn't have believed him, but I did. Maybe I was being naive or desperate to move onto the next lead or something, but Briggs pushed him further than I could, but it's not on him. It's on both of us. We broke him. He was sober and we poured vodka down his throat until he revealed he could introduce us to someone so we could buy girls. He made a call and gave us a website so we could browse."
Paige hugged her knees tighter to her chest. Was it just a few days ago that she had been stripped of not only her clothes, but her pride? Paige felt the bile rising in her throat at how humiliated she felt when Sulla made her undress so he could take a picture of her. And she had people looking for her. She couldn't imagine what it was like for those other girls, how helpless and alone they must have felt.
Paige shifted uncomfortably once she realized she had been sitting in the same position that night, and sat cross-legged instead
"I saw you," Mike said, his voice barely a whisper. "I lost it. I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to get you out of there. You didn't belong there."
"None of them belong there! Lina doesn't belong there! I promised her I'd get her out! I promised her I'd come for her that night I put her on that bus," Paige cried.
"You're mad at me and you have every right to be mad at me, but I couldn't leave you in there. But I need you to know, I'm always going to come for you. I don't care what it costs or what I have to do, I'm always going to choose you."
"You don't know what it's like in there. Sulla's watching her. He's trying to break her and I left her in there. She's there because of me. You should've left me in there."
Paige broke down, letting the sobs wrack her body. She squeezed her eyes shut and didn't even notice that Mike moved in to comfort her until his arms wrapped around her.
It would be easy to give in. Give in and let him take care of her. Comfort her. Make her feel safe. Get lost in the familiarity of his arms. But she didn't deserve it. Not until all her girls were out.
Paige pushed Mike away from her and wiped her eyes. "Your five minutes are up."
"Paige," Mike gently said, tentatively placing his hand on her knee. He gently rubbed his thumb in soothing circles on her knee, trying to calm her down.
"Don't, Mike," Paige whispered. She was tempted to give in. Shut everything out but him, but she couldn't. She owed it to her girls to do whatever it took to get them out of there and wallowing in her own self-pity didn't do anything to help them. "Just don't. You said what you came to say."
Mike sighed and gently squeezed her knee, "It's not your fault. You're not the reason she's in there. I promised you that we'd get them out and we will. And when they see you, they're gonna feel the same relief I felt when I saw you."
Paige closed her eyes going back to that moment when she saw Mike. Just seconds before she had felt so numb and helpless. She had even been thinking of trying to entice the buyer to take her, willing to take her chances with him instead of Sulla, because she didn't have the slightest idea when they would find her. But suddenly Mike was standing in front of her and she knew everything would be okay.
Even if things weren't okay now, nothing could take away the relief she felt the moment she saw him. She wasn't sure how much she believed Mike right now, but she was going to everything she could to make sure her girls felt that same sort of relief.
THE END