Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat does not belong to me. It belongs to Midway and the brilliant people who came up with it. I don't own the characters, for if I did...well, then the events in my stories would occur by some mystical happening. All assorted ice cream flavors are not mine, they belong to either Baskin Robbins or Ben & Jerry's.
This story is just... random stuff that I thought up and couldn't get out of my head until I wrote it down. I don't mean for there to be any plot, so don't write to me asking for one. If a plot does come around... then give me three cheers and don't ask how my brain managed to scrape it up. OOC-ness willbe here, undoubtedly; unfortunately my humor tends to lean that way, and I do wish I could write intelligent, realistic humor, but that probably won't happen.
I'm going to go ahead and assume everyone knows what people look like that way I can dive right into the story. If you don't, go to a MK website and look.
Chapter Note: This might seem a little strange coming from the character, but I got the inspiration from the MK: Defenders of the Realm cartoon episode Swords of Ilkan. If you haven't seen it, it starts out with the same character having difficulties with the fact that she doesn't get a chance to be simply feminine. That's all you need to know from the episode. If you are in desperate need for a solution to cleaning ovens quickly, DO NOT take my method. It is purely fictional; I have more faith in the fact that it would never work than in the fantasy that it might.Oven Cleaning, Ice Cream, and Baaad Plans
Stryker paused outside the kitchen as he heard a snarl, a loud bang, and then another (more vehement) snarl. He debated with himself whether he wanted to know what was happening behind the door, then treaded cautiously into the room.
The kitchen appeared fine. It seemed exactly like it was two hours ago when he finished cleaning up the mess Nightwolf made attempting to cook supper (Stryker hoped the Indian got the message when he told the man never to touch a utensil in the kitchen again). The only difference was the oven door gaped open and Sonya sat beside it, scowling and dirty. Scrub brushes lay scattered on the floor around her, very well used. The handle of one was broken.
Stryker pondered whether to chance a comment or get out with his hide in one piece.
He did always appreciate living on the edge.
"Did World War III happen here? And did the scrub brush army lose?"
Sonya Blade lifted her scowl to him, and Stryker winced inwardly. He knew he should have escaped. "Leave, Stryker. I'm not in the mood for your attitude."
He raised a brow. "My attitude? What about yours? Here I am standing concerned, and not just for my kitchen, and you tell me to get out?" When she lowered her gaze to the oven and kicked the apparatus, Stryker knelt to his knees and gave her an honestly concerned look. "Sonya, c'mon, what's wrong?"
"You left the oven dirty," she finally muttered. When Stryker was about to reply (he had not wanted to waste time cleaning it) she went on. "I thought I could clean it, y'know, like women do when they don't have anything better to do. They clean. So, I tried."
Stryker bent his head a little to look inside the oven. Yes, she had tried. There was little sign of success. "How about you go clean yourself up and have a pint of ice cream, eh?"
Sonya nodded and left, having no energy left in her to argue. She took a hasty shower to clean the grime and changed clothes. When she returned to the kitchen to have that pint of World Class Chocolate ice cream (She didn't care what Jax said, Baskin Robbins came first, then Ben & Jerry's), she found Stryker sitting at the counter eating from a carton of New York French Vanilla contentedly. The oven still sat open, but there was a sparkle in those black walls.
A sparkle that Sonya recognized as. . .
"You cleaned it?" Stryker heard Sonya murmur. He was about to tell her that no thanks was necessary when she smacked him upside his head.
"Hey!" he shouted, glaring at her. "What the hell was that for!"
"You cleaned it!"
"I know I did!"
She smacked him on the arm. "I didn't want you to clean it! I wanted to clean it!"
Stryker opened and closed his mouth, trying to understand the absurdity that was the woman's mind, then replied hotly, "I thought you wouldn't mind the help!"
"I didn't want help!" Sonya smacked him on the leg before slumping into a chair across from Stryker, looking downcast. "I wanted to be a woman."
Wondering if she was done with her hitting fetish, Stryker rose from his chair, went to the freezer, and returned with two ice cream pints. He set one pint and a spoon in front of her like a peace offering, then opened his second pint of NY French Vanilla.
Sonya picked the spoon up and looked at the carton, wondering what crap he got her.
The label read World Class Chocolate.
"How did you know-"
"Jax likes Cherry Garcia, though I despise Ben & Jerry's altogether; Nightwolf has this strange affection for Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough; Liu loves Pistachio Almond; Kitana hogs the Rocky Road; and I don't care what Sub-Zero says, he's partial to the Very Berry Strawberry."
Sonya stared. Stryker took a bite of his ice cream, then answered her question. "I'm pretty much the chef around here, Sonya. I'd surrender myself to Shao Kahn's torture before I let Liu or Nightwolf in this kitchen to cook. You can only cook a pie, a good pie though it is. Kitana and Sub-Zero are usually too busy around dinner time to eat, much less cook, and Jax always wins at rock, paper, scissors."
The woman thought back to all the desserts they had eaten in the past years. Everyone was always happy when they had ice cream pies, but they never agreed on one flavor for the desert. There was always something wrong with one flavor or the other. Sonya had never given a thought as to why no one complained. "You're sweet. I guess."
Stryker shrugged. He watched as her spirits lifted a little higher, then returned to his pint. They ate their ice creams for a minute. Then they returned to the prior argument.
"You should've left the oven for me to clean," Sonya grumbled.
"Oh, for god's sakes, leave it alone, Sonya."
She sighed. "I thought it'd be easy. Something to prove I'm still a woman. All of this Mortal Kombat turmoil forces me to be a warrior, not the person I want to be. Not a woman."
Stryker eyed her, then racked his brain for an idea. "Well, look at it this way. We're married-" Sonya aimed for no particular area when she kicked, but his howl informed her that her aim was better honed than she knew. "Don't kick me so close to there! And let me finish!" She glared at him, then he went on, "Pretend that we're married, and I screwed up big time and cleaning the oven was a way for me to beg forgiveness. That and the ice cream."
Sonya rolled a bit of her ice cream in her mouth, then said, "Your ideas really do suck half the time, Stryker." When she received the hurt expression she had aimed for, she added, "And to think before I thought they sucked all the time."
He paused, then smiled. "You really can't give compliments well, Sonya, but the goodwill thought is accepted." He stuck a hand out, and she shook it firmly.
They returned to their ice creams, but Stryker noticed her eyeing the oven. "What is it now?" he sighed.
"How'd you do it?"
He raised a brow. "Be more specific, Sonya. I have so many retorts running through my head I'm having a hard time choosing."
"How did you clean the oven so quickly? It took me two hours to get as far as I did."
Stryker ate another spoonful of his ice cream before getting up, walking to the sink, grabbing something, and returning. He dropped a squishy little square, hardly bigger than her thumbnail, in front of her. "I used that."
She stared. "You're joking. That's one of those dishwasher things. You know, for dishes. How can that thing clean a whole oven?"
"Switch the oven to preheat. Soak the thing til it's soapy, plop it in, then wait a few minutes. The heat makes the thing steam and the steam loosens the grime. All that was left was a few swipes of a rag."
Sonya blinked. "How did you figure that out?"
"On accident. Beyond that, you don't want to know." From her look he could tell her curiosity was far from satisfied. "Sonya, I'm a bachelor with an overbearing mother. I had to learn a few tricks of the trade to make her happy. And to keep her from housecleaning like a maniac," he muttered under his breath.
She decided not to touch that subject. "I'll keep it in mind for next time," she said, then finished her carton. She grabbed two more cartons from the freezer and handed one to Stryker, who had finished his own. Wordlessly they continued eating.
This was the scene Jax and Kitana happened upon when they came to the kitchen for a meal. They looked at each other, then back at the two eating ice cream. "When did Hell freeze over?" Jax spoke up.
Stryker and Sonya looked over at the two. "We came to a truce," Stryker answered. Then they returned to their pints.
The princess of the Edenia Realm felt that borrowing trouble was not worth the hassle. She sat at the counter with them after grabbing a carton of her own ice cream (Sonya noted with a hint of surprise that Stryker was right: Kitana did like Rocky Road) and began eating without a word. Jax was slower to join them, but did eventually with his own pint. Stryker grimaced at his Cherry Garcia, then went to his NY French Vanilla for reassurance.
The four ate and finished their pints in silence. As they rose Sonya felt she should thank Stryker again. If it was to make up for hitting him, she refused to reckon with it. "Thanks for helping me, Stryker. I'll try and be a little more appreciative next time."
Stryker nodded his acknowledgment as she left, ignoring the incredulous look Jax was giving him. Kitana gave him a similar look before trailing Sonya.
Jax stood in front of Stryker as the latter began to leave for the rec room, appraising him. "What was that all about?" he asked, his voice slightly suspicious.
The Captain eyed his friend, trying to gauge the Major before replying. "A trade between two friends, Jax," he said finally, sliding past the larger man in order to leave. "That's all."
"'That's all' my ass," Jax followed Stryker. "You two were eating ice cream. Together."
"That is what people do when they want to eat ice cream in the same room, Jax," Stryker looked to the side where the man matched his steps. He knew Jax would never get off his case without further information, so he added, "Sonya was having a little trouble getting past the fact that she doesn't get to be a woman with Kahn invading. I helped her a little bit, and we rewarded ourselves with ice cream."
Jax did not look at ease. In fact, he seemed to grow even more irritated. "You helped her? How?"
Stryker stopped, turned to the man he had come to respect, and tried to figure out what was chewing at him. Then he realized that Jax was thinking along the more. . . sexual themes rather than something platonic. He nearly shuddered and snapped at the man (how sordid!) when he thought it through again.
And developed a more devious scheme.
He began walking casually, knowing Jax would follow. He waited a moment for Jax to fidget, and received a very rewarding fidget for his patience. "Alright, alright, I'll spill. You remember that one scene on Lethal Weapon 3?" Stryker whispered, "the one between that Gibson guy and Russo?" Jax nodded slowly, wondering what the man was getting at. "Well, it was sorta like that, only with her cracking the whip, if you know what I mean." Stryker nodded, eyebrows raised, watching his handiwork play out.
Jax froze in horror. What was his partner thinking! "You used my partner like that!" he hissed.
"Hey, hey, I didn't 'use' her," Stryker replied, holding his hands up in defense. He entered the rec room, Jax slowly following him. Sub-Zero was inside, setting up for meditation. "I told her I didn't want anything like that. I knew you'd be upset with it. But, then, when she started swaying her hips and taking off that cute little tank-"
"I have to find Sonya," Jax groaned, racing away.
Stryker watched his retreating back, chortling. He turned to see Sub-Zero staring at him, eyes narrowed. "What was that about?" the ninja growled, much like a parent to an unruly child.
"Nothing, nothing," Stryker stretched on the couch, turning the television on. "Simply Jax learning to mind his own beeswax."
Sub-Zero watched as the television absorbed Stryker's attention before sighing mentally and settling to his meditation. He knew that if Stryker had baked up a plan, it would come out half-done and everyone would inevitably be poisoned sooner or later.
He hoped it would be later. He wanted time to complete his meditation and die in peace.
And he wanted one last pint of his Very Berry Strawberry ice cream.
----------
"What was that about, Sonya?" Kitana asked her friend, looking at the Earth woman. She seemed far more content than she had been recently.
"What?" Sonya turned and smiled.
Kitana instantly knew Sonya was in a good mood. "You are smiling. Something must have happened. Or, did someone?"
Sonya froze, her smile melting away. "Oh, god, no, Kitana. You think Stryker and- Oh, no, no, no. Nothing like that happened."
"Then what did happen?"
They entered the consoles room where Liu Kang, Nightwolf, and the Indian's companion Kiva were situated. They swivelled in their seats to look at the women, hearing Kitana's last sentence. "Did something bad happen?" Liu asked, alarmed.
"What did Stryker do now?" Nightwolf sighed. Couldn't he and Sonya get along?
Sonya growled at the two men. "For your information, Stryker helped me. That was all," she turned her glare on Kitana.
Liu and Nightwolf looked between each other, silently agreeing to say nothing more. Women reacted strangely to men intruding on conversations. With these two women, it usually involved hurtling fans and chi-rings that singed hair.
"You gave me nothing to think otherwise, Sonya."
"And so you instantly assumed Stryker and I had sex!"
"I never said you had sex! I simply implied that the two of you might have experienced a more intimate feeling than friendship."
"Ever get the feeling we miss important things?" Nightwolf whispered to Liu.
Liu turned to Nightwolf, raising an incredulous brow. "Me, the Champion of Mortal Kombat and the Chosen One meant to defend the entire world? And you, the man that sits in front of this huge screen and watch the cameras in all the rooms? Of course we miss important things. That's the irony that kicks us in the ass trying to be funny."
The two women glared daggers at one another for another moment before letting the anger dissipate. Then Jax entered the fray.
"You and Stryker? You and Stryker!"
Sonya looked at her partner with concern. "Jax, you alright?"
"No, the hell I ain't! What in the hell were you thinking, doing that with Stryker!"
Her suspicion began to rise. "I don't know what you think I did with Stryker, Jax, but all we did-"
"You admit doing something with him!" Jax was slowly turning purple.
"Alright, everyone calm down!" Liu leapt up, laying a hand on Jax's shoulder and looking between partner and partner. "Jax, what is it that you think Sonya and Stryker did?"
"What they did? What they did was they had a time in the sack!"
Sonya's jaw dropped, pale. "We never–! Jax, who the hell told you that?"
"Stryker!"
The room was silent after that exclamation. Sonya's pallid face grew slowly redder before she screamed, "Kurtis Stryker!"
----------
Sub-Zero's eyes snapped open and he asked, "Did you hear something?"
The Captain jumped, tearing his eyes away from the television. "Huh?"
The ninja repeated his question.
"Uh, no." Stryker returned to his movie.
Poor, unfortunate Sub-Zero just barely had the time to ask himself whether he should leave the room when the door sailed open, a shrieking tornado flew into the room and pounced on the unsuspecting victim lying on the couch.
"Ahh! Help!" Stryker hollered as fists rained on him, unable to do anything more than shield himself.
Later, Sub-Zero wondered what had possessed him. He had grabbed at the flailing maniac and received a kick in the stomach for his pains. Normally he wouldn't have even flinched, but the person's fury gave it more force.
That, and falling onto a coffee table as it splintered doubled the pain.
It took Jax and Liu to pull the violent Sonya off Stryker and hold her in place. Stryker himself went ahead and hid behind Nightwolf, Kitana, and Sub-Zero (when the ninja returned to his feet, at least) in case they weren't enough.
"What was that for?" Stryker cried, glaring at Sonya.
"You told Jax we had sex!" she yelled back.
Stryker blinked, realizing suddenly that, of course, Sonya wouldn't appreciate his joke. "Blame Jax!" he pointed an accusing finger at the Major. "He's the one that was obsessed with thinking we did it!"
Everyone turned to Jax, who replied hotly, "Well, he didn't say anything to make me think otherwise!"
"What did I say to make you think that-wise?" Stryker shot back, now growing as angry as Sonya. "You were the one with the mind in the gutter! All I did was help her clean the freaking oven! That was all, and you made it out like we starred in some sort of porno!"
"Enough!" Nightwolf yelled. Everyone looked to the Indian. He took a breath, then said as calmly as he could, "Stryker and Sonya did nothing sexual. We can all consent to that fact?" Everyone nodded, some a little more fervently than others. "Stryker made a bad- a very bad decision, alright?" Consensus was reached, Stryker grumbling a little. "Jax should not have jumped to conclusions, agreed?" They nodded.
"Stryker, apologize to Sonya for using her virtue as a way to get back at Jax." Stryker mumbled the apology; Sonya accepted it grudgingly. "Sonya, apologize to Stryker for trying to maul him." She made it bitterly. "Jax, apologize to both of them for causing them this grief."
With Jax's last word, Nightwolf sighed. "Alright, that's that. If there are any other grievances, settle them in an adult fashion." He glared at Sonya, then looked at Stryker. "Come with me to the infirmary, Stryker. I want to clean some of those cuts before they're infected."