Somehow, right now death seems almost alright with me. But I know I'll feel guilty about killing myself, even after death it will eat at me. The drop to the ground isn't that far to the ground. Only fifteen feet. That would probably cause minor damage. The thing that wouldn't just cause minor damage would be the twenty one Capitol created, ugly, rabid, ferocious wolf mutts that are surrounding the cornucopia waiting to rip me to shreds as soon as I slip off the top of my bittersweet safe haven.
I'm still debating on how I want the Capitol and everyone at home to see my death because I'd rather die by my own bow an arrow then by the Capitol's mutants and a teenage murder. Cato. It would literally kill me to have to make Gale and Prim and my mom and Hazelle and the kids watch me die under Cato's hand.
" I can still do this, I can still do this." Cato shouts threateningly. Cato has Peeta in a headlock and holds his body over the edge teasingly. The wolf mutts bark and jump at Peeta with hopes' of finding flesh. His lips are turning blue and his face slowly draining of color. Cato's blood drips from his temple and slides down his face and lands on Peeta.
"How about I kill myself and you two go home?" I answer with uncertainty ringing throughout my voice. I can just picture my family watching, their cries, begging me to not commit suicide.
"Katniss no!" Peeta begs weakly. Cato guffaws pulling his arms tighter around Peeta's neck.
"I know you won't do that sweetheart." He taunts. "You have that sister of yours watching you, you would never hurt her like that." I nod slightly because its true. "And what about that ever so handsome young man back home. The one who pulled your sister off you at the reaping. Do you remember him?" I nod again. I open my mouth to speak back but he shushes me. "And if I live, I will make sure that your family and that that boy and this boy," he notions to the struggling Peeta in his arms. "Will live horrible lives."
I'm horrified at what this boy will do to my loved ones. Anger swells up inside of me and I turn red with anger. He hit a nerve. And no one talks to me about my family that way. "Why, they never did anything to you. They don't deserve it."
"But if you're not alive who can I blame for your score? I will hurt them and torture them because of your score, no one has ever gotten an eleven. How'd you do it? You pro-"
He falls off the cornucopia with three arrows lodged in his chest where his heart would be. Peeta falls too, struggling helplessly. "I'm so sorry Peeta, it couldn't have come down to me and you." I apologize. "And Cato, no one talks to me about my family like that. Fuck you, go to hell and never feel happy again." I smile to myself and sit back listening to the joyful sounds of agonizing screams escaping the two boys' lips.
Two canons sound hours later. I have gotten in a good nap. The bells ring and I breath out, it has been the breath I've been holding in since I got in the arena. I won. I knew I could do it. Gale knew I could do it. "Gale, I did it." I whisper. "FUCKING GET ME OUT OF HERE MORONS." I shout when the hovercraft takes its sweet times to reach me. I jump onto the ladder first chance I get. "See ya arena." I call out. And then I'm pulled into the plane and am confronted by my prep team.