Stupid Love

Chapter One

Pairing: Hijack

Word Count: 1200

Warnings: Mild language, alcohol use

I do not own the rights to any characters in the fanfiction. All characters belong to Dreamworks Animation Studios.

Somewhere between Misery and Despair, right? Hiccup was fairly certain that that was where he was right now.

"I swear, Astrid, if I stay here any longer, I'll have no brain cells left to speak of," he muttered, his best friend still clutching a fist on his shoulder, keeping him from leaving. The booth they were all seated in was extremely uncomfortable, a mix of fake leather that smelled of old barf and stiff, filler wood that stuck out in places and shoved splinters in unseemly places.

He would probably do anything to not be there at that very moment.

"You're fine, Hiccup," Astrid bit back, "and we won't stay too long, anyway."

"How can you stand being here, though? Why would you want to spend time at the place you work every day of the week?" Hiccup grimaced, shoving his head into his hands as his elbows came to rest on the wobbly table.

"Imma get us another round o' shots, guys!" Tuffnut shouted as he stood up, bumping along the side of the table. Hiccup leaned back into the smelly booth as he left.

"Why would anyone want to spend time here at all?"

Astrid roughly elbowed him in the side for that.

"Would you stop it? You're making me miserable over here!" she retorted, shooting him a playful glare before leaning forward to talk to Fishlegs from across the table.

"How ya holdin' up, big guy? Keepin' it all down this time?" she teased. Ruffnut choked on her beer, holding back her laughter as Fishlegs gave a weak smile.

"I-I'm just fine this time. I figured out that balancing a decent amount of water and little food keeps any...regurgitation from occurring."

Hiccup grimaced again.

"Seriously?" he whined, turning back to Astrid. "Can I PLEASE leave now?"

Astrid sighed,

"Would you knock it off already? You'll live!"

"I'm actually very sure that I won't," Hiccup remarked, folding his arms across his chest. Astrid shook her head,

"You can just-"

She stopped, looking over at the bar. She noticed Tuffnut waiting for some help, but she spotted a familiar head of unusual hair and scoffed rather loudly.

"What?" Hiccup asked, confused. He looked over at the bar, but didn't see anything strange.

"It's that guy again," she told him matter-of-factly. She looked down at her empty glass, and leaned back in her seat.

"What guy? What are you talking about?" Hiccup asked, still a bit confused.

"He's in the back. White hair."

"What, some old dude?" Hiccup asked, glancing back at the bar. "I don't see-"

"No, he's, like, our age. But, you know, with white hair," Astrid corrected him. Hiccup made a face.

"What? That doesn't even make sense-"

"Just LOOK, will you?" Astrid glared. Hiccup rolled his eyes and returned them to the bar. Tuffnut turned and made his way back toward their table, and that's when he spotted the guy in the back, white hair and all. He seemed to be talking to someone on the other side of the bar, out of sight from there.

"Ah, I see him," he nodded. "Who is he?"

"He's an asshole. That's who he is."

Hiccup made that face again.

"But that doesn't..." he paused, not even bothering to try and correct her. "Well, why is he an asshole?"

Astrid laughed, shaking her head. Tuffnut set down the tray and squeezed in next to his sister in the booth again.

"Why isn't he one? He freakin' buys only the priciest stuff we got in this joint, and then hits on anything with boobs that happens to walk in here," she explained. "And not very well, I might add."

"Oh, is that the, uhh... what did you call him?" Ruffnut chimed in, tapping a finger on her chin. "Jack-Off! That's what you called him!"

Astrid and Ruffnut shared a laugh.

"Yeah, that's the one!" Astrid told her, snickering. "Boss says I can't say that on the clock anymore, though."

"That's a shame. It suits him, don'tcha think?" Ruffnut joked.

Hiccup glanced back at the bar, seeing the guy talking to a girl with curly, red hair now. She didn't seem too happy about that, either.

"Hey, hey, what-"

They all looked back at the end of the table, where Snotlout finally opened his eyes again.

"Look who's back," Ruffnut smirked. Tuffnut laughed,

"How's it goin', Snot? You ready for round six, or what?"

Snotlout made a face and buried it in his hands,

"I'm nah gettin' any... anymore of dat shit if my life d-depends on it," he gurgled out sloppily. The twins laughed.

"Oh, come on!" Tuffnut teased. "We're here to celebrate your big success! You can't just quit on us now!"

Another round of laughter had Snotlout covering his ears and smacking his face on the table, causing it to wobble and knock over one of the shots, splattering all over the front of Hiccup's shirt.

He groaned,

"Ugh, really?" Hiccup complained. He glared at Astrid again as she continued to laugh at Snotlout's pathetic behavior. He stood up, wiping off some of the completely clear liquid off of his green vest.

"Can I just go? Before the rest of my clothes are ruined and someone decides to puke on me, or something?"

Astrid looked back at him,

"Calm down," she frowned, reaching out to pull him back into his uncomfortable seat. He kicked his legs and groaned obnoxiously.

"Just let me go home! What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?"

Astrid glared him down before pushing her bangs out of her eyes, thinking. Her gaze fell on the bar again, noticing the white-haired jerk still at it.

"Tell you what..." She began, a grin forming on her face. Hiccup was already standing, ready for her deal.

"If you can get pretty boy over there to leave this bar, I will drive you back home."

Hiccup frowned,

"Uhh, problem?"

"What?" Astrid asked, annoyed, and glancing back at the bar.

"I can't trust you to drive while intoxicated-"

"I'm not drunk."

"You could still be over the legal limit."

"Then I'll get you a cab."

"Do they even have cabs in this pathetic town?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"I won't do it if you can't hold up your end of the bargain."

Astrid sighed dejectedly, crossing her arms across her chest. She looked over at everyone at their table, then towards the bar, then back to Hiccup. With a painful frown, she remarked,

"I will give you my keys and let you drive yourself home. I'll carpool."

Hiccup felt his jaw drop.

"Nu-uh..." He gaped. "Your baby? You would lend me your Camaro? Really?"

Astrid exhaled out her nose with a huff but nodded.

"But you gotta get 'im out of here. Not just outside, either. Make him leave and never wanna come back."

Hiccup smiled,

"Scare tactics? That's more up your alley, don't you think?"

"We got a deal, or what?" She asked, the unamused expression still on her face. Hiccup waved her off and headed off to the bar.

"You better say goodbye to your baby because you won't be seein' her for a while!"