This is pure, indulgent, nonsense. This is me venting. This is ridiculous. Enjoy the nonsense.
Lily Evans had absolutely no reason to expect the shadows in the corridor she was passing to begin speaking to her, so she cannot be faulted for jumping so high she nearly took flight when that very unexpected thing happened.
"So that's it, is it? You've given in, given in to-to-to him? To Potter?"
Again, poor Lily was in an advanced state of 'what the shit just happened', and so cannot be blamed for not realizing straight away that the shadows were not the source of the sour voice, but were only housing the source. In between settling her heartbeat down from golden snitch speeds and wracking her brain for spells to use against rude shadow-beings, Lily processed the words the nearby gloom had spoken to her. After that, it was only a matter of straining her eyes to see pale skin and a green accented uniform to confirm which Creature of the Night the voice belonged to.
"Severus? Bloody hell, have you gone mad? You can't just scare people like that! I nearly had a heart attack," Lily scolded her former friend, completely ignoring the words he had spoken.
"Listen to yourself, you're even starting to sound like him," the still shadow-shrouded Severus Snape sneered, and Lily took a moment to congratulate herself on an alliteration well done before she spoke again.
"Why are you lurking there, hmm? I'm Head Girl, it's among my sworn duties to prevent lurking of any sort, probably. Step away from the wall, I only speak to people I can see," she insisted, and then instantly wished she hadn't so she had an excuse to not speak to him. But again, poor Lily cannot be criticized for not thinking clearly, okay? Obviously, she was still recovering from a great shock, shut up and let me finish the story Sirius.
Anyway, the strikingly pretty and unfairly clever Lily Evans waited for Severus to step into the dim light of the hallway, and then cocked an eyebrow and twirled her hand in a way that obviously meant 'explain your lurking or go away so I don't have to have this conversation', but which he must have took to mean 'do not explain or go away, please continue spouting nonsense.' Clever Lily guessed this is what he mistook her body language to be, mostly on account of the fact that he did not explain his lurking, nor did he go away, but he did continue to accuse her of both dating and becoming James Potter.
"I always thought you were smarter than the rest of them, that you knew better than those idiots who worshipped him, but in the end you let him get to you, too. You let them all get to you – the psychopath Black, and the creature Lupin, and the blithering imbecile Pettigrew, and him. Potter, that arrogant moron who you used to swear you couldn't stand! How can you be with him? How can you hang around them, when you know what they are? How can you stand to know you're becoming one of them?" Severus demanded, an angry flush covering his face as he spoke – which was nothing compared to the furious steam that started to shoot from Lily's ears.
She had been planning on exiting this situation as soon as possible, without supplying any responses to his accusations, and by contributing as little as she could. By the end of his little rant, however, those plans were dashed and now Lily was as sure as hell not going to only respond and contribute, she was going to dominate and win – with her invincible strategy of yelling and absolutely losing her mind until he had no choice but to concede defeat.
"Okay Severus, you wanna start throwing your judgments around? I can do that, too. You wanna talk about undeserved worship and hanging with the wrong crowd? Sure, let's talk about that! You seem to be friends with an interesting lot Severus, and we've talked about this before, but just to make my point clear; every single person in this school who ever called me a mudblood is now your best mate. And you and your little friends seem to be doing quite a bit of worshipping these days, Sev! Don't think I don't know exactly what you'll be doing after graduation, or who you'll be serving – and let me tell you something Severus Snape, anyone cruel and cowardly enough to follow Voldemort around is far worse than some silly girls with a crush on a Quidditch chaser. Cruel cowards with fucked up morals, willing to torture and murder, that's who you've got for , Severus, you're right, my boys are much worse than that! My brave Sirius, and my kind Remus, and my genuine Peter, and my brilliant James! They're all lovely and loyal and I pity you, Severus, that you will never know the warmth or comfort of their friendship. People change, as you've so efficiently displayed yourself, and James Potter has matured into someone I can proudly love and dedicate myself to, who I am lucky to call mine," Lily ranted, impassioned by her confidence in her own rightness and in Snape's utter wrongness. It hurt her to be so at odds with her childhood friend, but childhood was over, war was upon them, and adult Lily had no room in her life for someone making such dark choices. There was enough frightening darkness and uncertainty in her future already, so Lily would surround herself with as much light and goodness as she could, hang anyone who begrudged her that. Oh my God, are you crying? You are, I can't believe it, you boys are tearing – okay, okay, fine, continuing the story!
Severus stood there gape-mouthed and white-faced for a moment, the flush having hurried from his face, obviously intimidated by the terrible wrath of Lily's superior temper. Before he could gather the wits to reply, Lily continued her dominate strategy, "And another thing! I am still completely my own person, still Lily Evans, and to suggest that I am somehow morphing into James or any of the boys is utterly ridiculous and untrue. If it were true – which it isn't! – but if it were, there are certainly worse things I could be turning into, eh Sev? I could be changing into a dark and dangerous Lily, an unrecognizable Lily who was unable to love anymore, whose main purpose was to hurt and destroy. Doesn't that sound awful, Severus? Surely, you wouldn't want anyone you cared for to turn into that – and if they had ever truly cared for you in return, they shouldn't blame you for not following them down that path, should they?"
Throughout her speech, Severus seemed to shrink in on himself and walked backward silently away from her. When she had finished, they were both quiet for many moments. It was a very loud quiet, and because she had known Severus for many years, Lily learned more from it than if she had read Severus' mind – he would not approach her so angrily again, and in fact would not approach her at all for quite a while. Lily also learned from the silence that though they would leave this conversation with very different reactions, there was one thing they both agreed on: they did not truly recognize the person standing before them. Severus did not understand her decisions, not really, and couldn't forgive her for making them. Lily was fine with that – she didn't need his forgiveness. One day he would regret his choices, and might come begging for her forgiveness if his pride allowed it, and Lily hoped that day would come before it was too late.
"Well," Lily started, much more calmly than before, "you'd better get going back to your common room. It's after hours," and she watched as he made his way back toward the dungeons, again seeming to blend in with that shadows that clung to the stonewalls.
Lily began making her way back to the Gryffindor tower, contemplating all the while on another difference she had noted between Severus and herself. Even when angry, Severus had appeared so empty, with nothing besides bitterness and loneliness to motivate him. But Lily's passion had been roaring, fueled partly, of course, by her firm belief in herself and her choices, but self-confidence was not the only fire in her. The strong love she felt for James and the boys, and the love and loyalty they in return felt for her, had filled her up until she felt like she would burst from it. The enormity of how much they all wanted to protect each other had given her such bravery, and she knew now that she would never be able to turn away from them. In a way, Severus had been right – they were a part of her, and she a part of them. She had gained three wonderful brothers and one love of her life, and they had gained a beautiful, intelligent, grateful Lily who just wants her boys to know that she's not going anywhere, not for the rest of her life. There was a special energy in these men, a collective courage and unyielding friendship, that Lily was blessed to be allowed into.
"Merlin's testicles, Evans! Do you see this nonsense? Moony, do you see it," Sirius shouted, turning to Remus. His eyes had been uncharacteristically filling for quite a bit of the story, and were now overflowing. Despite his outward emotional outburst, internally he was experiencing a moment of strange clarity. For a moment he pictured himself as a medieval knight, loyal to his friend the king. He saw himself kneeling by the green-eyed queen, dedicated to her happiness and safety, the perfect example of courtly love. Sirius was Sir Lancelot as he should have been, not the wanker who caught feelings. But Sirius soon laughed away that revelation as ridiculous, even if it lingered at the back of his mind for a long time afterward. "Moony, I'm blubbering, I've been hexed, this is ridiculous, look what she did to me!"
But Remus, who could not fully understand what Sirius was saying through his tears, ignored him. He was far too occupied with gazing at Lily, the golden warmth in his face unrelated to the glow from the crackling fire, silently acknowledging her with his smile and thanking her with his eyes, in a way that only someone who truly loved his friends could. Or at least he had shared that grateful gaze with her for a moment, before James interrupted.
"Oof! James put me down you oaf," Lily laughed and threw her arms around Prongs' neck, "Stop, let me go!" But he did not put her down, and she really didn't seem very willing to leave his arms, even as he started walking past ogling, night owl Gryffindors.
"You – absolute – darling – I – can't – you're – just – so – Iloveyou – Iloveyou – Iloveyou!" He muttered as he moved, peppering her face with kisses after each word. Lily could hardly breathe from laughter, and the adoration radiating from James' whole self stilled any other remaining breath – probably stilling her heart and a few vital organs too.
Peter watched them leave the common room from his place by the hearth, and assumed that James was intending to carry her all the way back to the Head dormitories. The awe he felt consumed him for a few minutes, and he wondered if he could ever muster up Lily's courage – if he could ever walk away from one of his best friends because they were making the wrong choices. He hoped that situation would never arise, but if it did, he vowed to himself then that he would do what he knew was right, what was best for him, even if it meant ending a friendship with James, Sirius, or Remus. He knew his friends gave him strength, but now Lily had inspired him to hone his own inner strength and independence.
Soon enough Sirius had collected himself, and the three friends briefly discussed their lovely Lily, and the disgusting cuteness she shared with James – and tossed a few Snivellus-themed insults around. But mostly they were content to sit in each other's company and appreciate the usually unspoken thing that Lily had verbalized so eloquently; that "special energy" that flowed between them, uninterrupted and precious. After a while, however, the absence of James and Lily affected that energy. Right before they headed up for bed, a foreboding darkness spread across the three boys, and a question passed through all of their minds: with such dark times ahead, how long could that energy – their bond – last? None of them acknowledged that question out loud, or attempted to think up an answer, but tried their best to put it out of mind. They fell asleep comforted by each other's friendship, and also by the fact that no matter how bad things may get, at least they're not Severus Snape! Merlin, that bloke is gross.
I apologize to the Snape apologists - actually no nevermind, not apologizing to you lmao. But I do apologize for the utter 'what?' that is this fic. Silly fluff, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Reviews are lovely, even if it just says "lmao ur a dummy."