A/N: This is my first ever fanfiction/songfic so I'm not expecting a lot from it. I have actually been on writers block for years now...and it has been horrid haha. But I was listening to this song one day and the idea came to me so hopefully it comes out well!
So be a doll and R&R
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the last Airbender(oh how a wish I did) or Nothing by the Script(I suggest to listen to it to understand the mood a little better if you don't know the song..plus it's a great song!)
lyrics will be italicized: like this
Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now, than I ever was with her.
They told him lies. After Ozai's defeat, Aang hadn't felt any excruciating agony quite like this. Katara left them. Katara left him. Without a word or an uttering 'goodbye'. He felt lost as his whole world crumbled beneath him; trying to find a way out of this dark abyss. Aang's only way out was to end his own life, which would have succeed, if Sokka or Toph hadn't pried the dagger away from him on several occasions.
Sokka would say she was never coming back and it would be easier if he just her let go; but even Sokka couldn't accomplish the task, for he would never mention her name only to refer to her as 'she' or 'her' but always careful to avoided her actual name.
Toph would say its time to start playing the field, test the waters, get out there; trying to lighten the mood, but even she would cry herself to sleep.
Aang, oh Aang, he would never speak. It was a mask for himself, to cut out any emotion from his now worthless life.
But it was a disguise for all of them.
As they take me to the local down the street,
I'm smiling but I'm dying,
trying not to drag my feet.
"We gotta get him outta here," Toph whispered to Sokka, who was glancing at the disfigured boy from across the room.
Sokka nodded his head in agreement as he cringed when he stole another look at the youth.
Aang's body was toned,yes, but more of his bones jagged out each passing day as he refused to eat and his already porcelain skin had turned into an unnatural white, making his skin seem like it might shatter under the weight of a light breeze. He also had grown out a full head of disarrayed, jet black hair that fell into his blank grey eyes, which caused a striking yet haunting contrast between his skin and his hair.
Aang was located in the far corner of their home in Ba Sing Se staring at the space between him and the floor.
Sokka briskly shut his eyes and took a deep shaky breath muttering a 'Im going to be sick' comment to himself. He composed his face into an easy fake smile as he and Toph dragged Aang out of the house, watching helplessly and Aang tumbled over his own feet.
They say a few drinks, will help me to forget her
But after one too many, I know that I'm never
The duo had pulled Aang into a dimly lit bar that smelled thickly of alcohol and vile. Aang was accompanied by a queasy sense in the pit of his stomach he got when he was about to undergo a path that lead away from the morals of the monks he was taught so long ago;but he was desperate to numb the loss of his beloved. Without speaking he pushed himself away from the only people he had left and drowned himself in drink after drink but the factuality of it was it only slightly blurred the edges of the memory his only love.
Only they can see where this is gonna end,
But they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense
"This isn't good Toph,"the watertibe boy said to the blind eatherbender as he observed Aang pour down his tenth shot before he grabs his rich hair in frustration as tears stream down his clouded face. Aang shoves away from the tavern's wooden counter top and storms out the door while Sokka finds Toph's skinny wrist and dashes after the drunken teen.
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down,
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
"Aang stop! You need to keep yourself together!"
"Twinkletoes, we're going home NOW!"
The two screamed obscurities at the airbender trying to coax some awareness into him but the boy with the no longer visible arrow on his forehead furiously shook his head as he tried in vain to fight off his friends from pinning his wrists to his sides.
"Katara!" Aang screeched as he clenched his teeth to hold back a sob. Sokka and Toph withdrew immediately in bewilderment, for this was the first word Aang had vocalized in months.
I'm swearing if I go there now,
I can change your mind,
turn it all around
Aang took a chance and fled when Sokka descended to his knees at the sound of his sister's name and Toph couldn't root out the vigor to stop him as Aang continued clamor the one name no one ever spoke of.
I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
and she'll listen this time even though they're slurred.
Dial her number and confess to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing.
So I stumbled there,along the railings and the fences,
I know if I'm face to face, that she'll come to her senses
'She's still here; she can't be gone'
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
Aang faltered through the dense forest outside the walls of Ba Sing Se to the one place he would always find her. As he came upon a river, perfect for waterbending, he tripped over a sturdy long; scraping his weak knees on the razor-edged rocks below him. But he didn't feel it. He couldn't feel anything, not when he heard it. The breathless bell-like whisper of his name 'Aang'. He sluggishly turned his head up only to behold the angel before him. Her carmel skin, her tinted chocolate colored hair, her endless steel blue eyes. It was her! It had to be...
"Ka- Katara?" Aang managed to blunder over his tongue. She didnt say a word. "Katara, please..."
If she see's how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure
Aang said as he reached a hand up to touch her, only to find she was only dust in the wind.
No.
Aang shut his eyes and his breath hitched when he heard her scream. She was gone.
All my mates are there trying to calm me down,
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town.
I'm swearing if I go there now,
I can change your, mind turn it all around.
And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
and she'll listen this time even though they're slurred.
Dial her number and confess to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing.
"Katara"
She said nothing.
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.
Oh I got nothing.
Nothing, I got nothing. Nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Aang stood upright with his vision blurred, his fragile face buried in the rough palms of his hands as he wailed through clenched teeth "It's all my fault," he no longer held back, "It's all my fault!" He fled back into the walls of Ba Sing Se, dashing in the crowed streets as the citizens threw him insane looks.
The airbender continued until he reached a field of barren, lifeless grass. He halted to a stop with his eyes closed, jaw shut tightly, and fists balled together at his side.
The sky blazed with flashes of light and booms of thunder as sheets of rain came pelting down on the broken teen; mixing with tears of his own whilst he quivered violently.
Oh, sometimes loves intoxicating.
Oh, your coming down, your hands are shaking;
When you realize there's no one waiting.
Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now, than I ever was with her.
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down,
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town.
I'm swearing if I go there now,
I can change your mind,
turn it all around.
Taking one step at a time, Aang made his way over to a rather lonesome but beautifully cut tome stone.
And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
and she'll listen this time even though they're slurred.
Dial her number and confess to her,
Aang slumped down onto all fours in front of the stone and breathlessly pleaded for forgiveness as he sobbed. "Katara, I'm sorry. So sorry. I-I'm braking and I really need you now. I miss you more than ever and I need you." He took a faltering deep breath and went forward, "I love you so much and I really need you here with me. I'm scared Katara, please. Please come back to me, please."
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing.
He caved in on the deadened turf below him and cried; crying out his useless and whimpering please.
She said nothing.
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.
Oh, I got nothing.
Nothing, I got nothing. Nothing.
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.
Oh, I got nothing.