His Right Hand
Author's note: This is my first attempt on Thor themed fanfiction. I had this plot bunny bugging me since work so I decided to put everything down on paper before I go to bed. Feedback and comments are appreciated.
Warning: Contain spoilers for Thor 2: The Dark World
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Loki missed this dearly...
Thor has not held him like this since they were children. The warmth radiating from his brother's hand was surprisingly welcoming to his weakened body. Loki could feel Thor's fingers tightened around the nape of his neck with desperation, like he could prevent the inevitable from happening. Nevertheless, his strong grip offered unwavering support, enough for Loki to hold on a little longer before death claims him.
"I'm...sorry.., so sorry..."
That was the best he could spew out. Damn it, he meant to tell his brother so much more. He wanted to tell him how much those two words meant to him. Long has Loki believed that someone of his stature should not apologise to others for his actions, be it right or wrong. To ask for forgiveness is something that Loki never does, unless was forced upon him. For Loki, it was the greatest sign of weakness, one that would eventually lead to his downfall.
But this time it was an exception. Loki really meant what he said. At the back of his mind, he wondered if Thor would believe him if circumstances were different. Had he not blinded by rage and seek vengeance on Midgard, would he be forgiven for the traitorous act in Asgard?
No, Thor won't believe me.
His elder brother knew well of his reputation. Born with silver tongue, Loki was a liar and trickster at heart; no words spoken bear truth in them.
Loki silently cursed himself for displaying such weakness in front of Thor. His emotion has betrayed him yet again as tears began to pool at the corner of his eyes, threatening to overflow anytime.
Didn't he want this in the first place?
He recalled clearly the incident at the Bifrost. After hearing the disappointment of the All-father's last words, Loki knew he had lost. He knew death would only be his redemption. It was the only way he could save himself as well as his family. With the disgraceful and traitorous prince gone, there will be no more secrets within the Odin family. Thor would rule Asgard and all nine realms as the rightful heir as what his parents wanted. His presence was the only going to be a hindrance.
Loki knew he had made the right choice when he let himself fall into the abyss. The prince has turned a deaf ear to his brother's plea and crooked a smile when he glimpsed the despair in Thor's eyes as he called out his name. With his death, Loki's revenge has been completed. Thor would be forever scarred by his guilt, knowing that he has murdered his brother for the throne.
Even then, deep inside his heart Loki wished his brother well...
"You're such a fool, Loki, you never listened..."
His brother practically croaked those words out, at a pathetic attempt to scold his little brother of his foolishness. Thor's brought Loki closer to him; his right hand caressed his brother's damp hair gently, like he was a babe. His touch brought temporary solace to his pain, bringing back memories when he was a child.
Long before the beans were spilled, these pair of calloused hands was protecting him. Loki was very playful as a toddler, so much so that he hurt himself in the process. Whenever he fell, his beloved brother would be there to wipe away his tears and tend to his bruises. Some nights, these hands offered him warmth and comfort when he secretly sneaked into his brother's chambers after he was rudely awakened by nightmares. Thor would stroke his raven locks gently and murmured soothing words in his ear, lulling his little brother to sleep.
As Loki grew older, he found strength in those hands. He gave his devotion in return; he had secretly sworn his loyalty to Thor.
He loved it whenever Thor placed his hand on his shoulders or at the nape of his neck. It felt so right, like putting two matching puzzle pieces together. The firmness of his fingers on Loki's neck gave him confidence that his elder brother would have his back, no matter what happens. Loki knew that his brother was always there to catch him when he falls; his hand ever ready to hold Loki's when he needed it.
But why did he not take it at the edge of the Bifrost?
Loki felt the temperature around him dropped drastically. He knew he was approaching his hand soon. The convulsion of his body was not helping either. Panicked, Thor placed his right hand around his little brother's neck and pulled him into a sitting position.
"Hold on, Loki. I will tell father what you did today. He will forgive you."
A teardrop fell on Loki's pale face.
When was he last saw his brother cried?
He vaguely remembered Thor sitting beside him hands clasped tightly around his, pleading him to wake up. The oaf brother of his had accidentally fed him with berries that were poisonous to Loki's stomach, causing him to vomit continuous and severe nausea. Stranded in a foreign land, the boys were discovered two days later after Odin sent a search party for them. By the time the Odinsons got back to the palace, Loki was already rendered unconscious by his condition. Thor really thought his little brother was going to die. When he finally came through, his brother crushed him in bear hug, weeping tears of joy unashamed.
Unfortunately after that incident, things were not the same anymore. Whether it was guilt or fear, Loki never knew that build a distance between him. Conversation between them became were running thin as Thor spent more time focusing on his training to become a full-fledged warrior. Loki's night visit became less frequent to the point he stopped going to Thor altogether.
That was when the wheel of fates began to spin.
Due to his frail body, Loki was not allowed to venture outside the castle without proper supervision. Often, he would watch in envy from his window sill as his brother sparred with his friends, Sif and the Warriors Three on the training grounds.
Why can't I be like Thor?
Why am I so different...so weak?
Those were the questions that Loki had asked himself occasionally. Loki was so desperately to catch up with his brother that he started immersing himself with books of magic. Attempt after attempt, Loki finally mastered all the magic that he could learned from the books in the library. But it was never enough. His curious nature has driven him to explore other worlds, beyond what Asgard's bookshelves had to offer. Using secret passage he so cleverly hidden from the Gatekeeper's gaze, Loki journeyed far and wide self-searching for the mystery his could not solve. Little did he know that answer that he yearned for lies in his mixed blood and a treasure piece locked away in the weapons vault.
Despite what good intend the All-father had in keeping the secret of his birth from him, Loki could not forgive him.
Did Odin not know of the grave consequences he had cause upon his son?
He had led a false live that he let to believe was true. At the very same spot where Loki's origins were revealed, his old man had told Thor and him that they were born to be kings, even though there could only be one ascending the throne. He had misinterpreted his father's words greatly. How foolish he was to cling on hope that one day he would prove his worth to take over his father's place, regardless of his current disadvantage.
Loki Laufeyson was never going to be the King of Asgard. He was merely a tool at the All-father's disposal, a puppet king fit to rule Jotunheim when the time comes.
The feeling of betrayal deepened when Loki recalled all those time when the Aesir children has taunted him of his birth. Cruel whispers were passed amongst them, speculating that he might be adopted due to the difference in physique between him and his elder brother, Thor. Though no one was reprimanded for spreading such rumours (not that anyone would dare to admit), Loki had begun to doubt himself as years passed by. He did confide the matter to Frigga, his ever loving foster mother but she would deny it immediately and asked him not to take their unkind words to heart.
Even his mother was lying to him.
Whichever cat he led out of the bag on that day has overturned all that he believed in.
The truth has left a bitter taste in his mouth.
His tormenters were right all along. The thought of it sickened him greatly.
He was born runt, abandoned and unwanted.
"I didn't do it for him..."
Loki reached out for his brother's hands and clasped it around his own. He channelled all his remaining strength into his grasp, tightening his nimble fingers around the calloused palm of the thunderer's hand. His tears were overflowing now, eyes fixed on his brother's blue orbs, silently plead as his took his last breath.
Hold me, brother.
And Thor did.
End.
End notes: I hope you have enjoyed this piece. Please give me your feedback so that I can improve my writing skills. Thanks a lot!