p id="docs-internal-guid-e74b9cf3-7f92-501d-f43b-2acfc33cfc56" dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"The past has a tendency to creep on you.../span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"'No no that's shit.'/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Running from the devil isn't just a metaphor/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"'God damn it I'm really no good at this.' Sara leaned back in her chair. Staring at the blank page on her computer was too depressing. It really shouldn't be this hard to write a memoir! She flicked to her Facebook page to mindlessly kill time./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"No notifications. Not that she was surprised. She hadn't update anything in about eight months now. The only thing she did was change her status back to single and delete every picture that reminded her of the year and half from hell she had./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Plenty of people were getting married or going out with friends, Bethany was pregnant! It was all so normal. So ordinary. So boring. It actually made her feel very safe. Life was still happening. The world was turning round and round without Jim being there to spin it./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Shit she let herself think about him. Memories began to flood her mind again. Her old apartment, their apartment, the elevator…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She began to breathe deeply, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Hopefully she could avoid another panic attack. She debated giving her therapist Chris a call….she had suggest that if she ever need to calm down. Sara didn't like phone calls. She did even have a phone anymore./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her computer chirped, bringing her back to a reality. Back to quaint, quiet little flat outside London./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara it's been so long! How are you?/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" Her friend Jess had messaged her. It was the first time she had spoken to her since she had moved. The first time she had spoken to any of her old friends actually. She bit her lip in thought and began to type/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I'm doing alright, how are you?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Lord I miss you! We need to talk, but face to face like normal people. Are you busy this week?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara grimaced. It wasn't really a secret that she was no longer engaged and seriously depressed. Most of her friends had given up on reaching out. Jess was one of the few holding out, inviting her out, trying to get her to meet up with someone./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She really didn't want to leave. She looked at herself. It'd been a good three days since she showered, she knew she put on at least fifteen pounds and was wearing the sweatpants she had slept in. In short she was a bit of a mess./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I'm rather busy /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"guilt panged her stomach. Jess was a nice girl. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"But I think I'm free on Saturday./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Chris would commend her. Seeing people would help her adjust again, remind her that people care about her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sounds Great! Meet up at Ruby's?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara felt sick again. This was going to suck so much. She looked at her blank word document. Well the world changing, bestselling memoir of the year wasn't going to write itself./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"My ex-fiancé is a psychopath./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"xx/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara waited quietly at a booth. She hadn't done anything to look particularly special, but avoided looking particularly pathetic as well. This was a chance to prove she had a life and was moving on. But that didn't mean she'd be dating anytime soon. She avoided anything to sexy or revealing. But she did not want the pitiful looks she'd get from Jess if she wore anything with the word 'sweat' in it./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her eye was fixed on the door. Being alone in public was not fun, without a cellphone she wouldn't be able to know if Jess canceled./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It was only 15 minutes, she could be caught in traffic. Sara slumped her head onto her elbow./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This wasn't a puzzle. This wasn't a game. This was coffee with a friend. It was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"normal. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"fun./spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" It wasn't something to be suspicious of./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"The waiter who had seated eyed her again and Sara shrugged sympathetically. He let a frustrated sigh and went back to the kitchen. It was not very busy, most people were out at pubs in the evening on a Saturday. The wait staff's attention on her only made her feel more uncomfortable and glance at her watch even more./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She was about to bail, twenty minutes was past a little late. She stood up but luckily Jess ran into the shop that very second./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""No no no! Sit down! I'm so late, my head was in the clouds!" the redhead barreled over to the table nearly smashing into a waitress refiling someone's cup. Sara smiled. Here we go…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Jess sat down and quickly flagged a waiter. "Hi love, two coffees both black for now? Thanks!" She quickly shooed him off as suddenly as she had called him. She was busting with energy. "Oh Sara it's so good to see you! It's been far too long. Tell me everything that's been going on! How's your mum? How's that job at Marshall's going? I've always heard retail is a bitch but you've got a smart eye for fashion. Lord knows you can put up with idiots well…"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara happily nodded along with Jess's ramblings. It felt a bit like old times. She didn't need to say much either, which was of course a bonus./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Well David was a complete arse. Bugger was still in love with that Victoria chick. So he's gone. Thank god too. I need some time for myself. We're both back in the single's pool again!" She reached her hand out to pat hers but Sara recoiled. Her entire body tensed up. She was not prepared for this. She didn't want to discuss anything. "Oh…I'm sorry dear. I suppose it was a bit insensitive of me to bring that up. My bad. I have tendency to do that, I don't mean it you don't that don't you? I just babble…"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara had gotten very good at just nodding along. Jess was one of the many people that would take that as a sign to keep talking thank god. Despite that little bump the entire time was very pleasant./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I'm glad you got me to come out here." Sara said giving her friend a smile. Jess's face light up in triumph. Jess had always been a kind heart. Sara started to wonder why she had avoided this for so long. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I'm glad you decided to come! It's always nice to catch up. We should see more of each other."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""We should." Sara nodded. Jess lifted her to fetch her phone which had been vibrating. Tonight had been much better than she suspected. Sara could honestly say she felt rather cheerful after tonight. This is what 'normal' must feel like. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Some weirdo, he's got the wrong number." Jess said with a roll of her eyes./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""That's annoying." Sara commented, although she hadn't experienced that in about a year so she really wasn't sure./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I know, I got a call from Swinton the other day! Some old broad who could figure out touch screens!" Sara let out a laugh and sipped more of her nasty coffee. She wasn't a fan of black coffee anymore but she hadn't wanted to correct her friend. Jess's phone began to vibrate again./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Ugg! Wrong number man!" She grunted quickly responding before shoving it back in her purse. Sara was about to suggest they meet up next week when the phone began to vibrate almost manically. Jess looked rather confused as she picked up her phone./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""What the hell…" She stared, almost frightened as the screen light up her face. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Is it still the same number?"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Yeah, check it out." She showed Sara the phone. The world stopped. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I miss you darling/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I miss you so much. Please come home/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I can't eat, doesn't that make you sad? I'm dying without you./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I can barely sleep. All of my dreams are about you…it makes me so sad sweetheart/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara could feel the hair on her neck stand up straight. Her arms began to shake./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Fucking weirdo, must've gone through some rough break up. Still, learn your girlfriend's number. Probably one of the reasons she left…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""W-what makes you say it's a guy?" her palms were sweaty. This couldn't be happening. This was all a joke. A huge joke, her brain was tricking her, this wasn't happening to her. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh intuition. Girls don't obsess like this. Well, they don't show it this way." Obsessed. That word seemed to kind, too normal, to /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"sane/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" to describe what this was. Sara could feel her feet going numb. Her heart was racing./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This was not happening. She was going to throw up./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Jess I need to go." Sara grabbed her bag and tried to stand up but slammed her knee into the top of the table making her fall back onto the vinyl seat in agony./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh Sara, you ok?" Jess tried to contain the laugh in her voice. Sara could hear her heart racing, nearly bursting and was sure everybody else in the restaurant could too. Her breathing got shallow, she couldn't get in enough oxygen. "Sara…you, you ok?" Jess leaned over the table letting the phone to the side so Sara could see the new messages/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Don't go. I've missed you so much. Can't we talk?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I've give you space haven't I? I've been a good boy. Don't I deserve a little reward?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Nononono I'm having a panic attack." She said as she found herself curled into the fetal position in the booth./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Shit! Err do you have medication or…something?" Jess had come over to the other side of the table, the phone began to buzz making a shrieking sound against the plastic table. And again. And again./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"What's wrong dear?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Is it something /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"said?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Do you need some help?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"The world was attacking her. Nothing seemed right, her lungs could get any air, her heart was pumping too fast, she was dying. She was going to die. And if she didn't he was going to get her…she could say which was worse./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Um, can you help us? She's having a panic attack!" Jess said to anybody around. A few waiters began to crowd the table. All of the voices just swirled around Sara and hung over her head. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""What happened?" "She's having a panic attack" "Does she have meds?" "No""Do you want water?" "Out of the way, let's take her out of here." /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"A rather large man shoved aside the others to get to Sara. Cradling her in his chest he began to carry her out of the shop into an empty alley. She was nearly comatose, she hadn't even thought of why this stranger was touching her. Jess tailed along asking about a million questions about him and who he was./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Look, I had panic attacks as a kid. She just needs time away from whatever triggered it. Give her room." He gruffed. Jess shut her mouth and crouched down next to the still shaking Sara./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It hadn't helped at all. He was still there…he still knew where she was…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Hey, it's ok Sara. Want me to hail a taxi to take you home?" Jess asked in a gentle voice that made Sara want to slap her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This was her fault. She made her go outside her bubble. She helped him find her again, she was the one that carried her mobile around with her everywhere. The man who had helped her nodded to Jess./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""That would probably be a good an idea, you should go with her too. Make sure she gets to bed." Jess nodded and gave Sara a quick once over before running back into the coffee shop to grab her purse./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Being alone with this man finally settled in, only made Sara more uneasy. The circles he was making on her back was not soothing but almost possessive. Frightening. She tried to scoot away from him but he held her firmly./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Thank you but please just—just stop." She said leaning away and nearly falling off the curb. She had positioned herself so she was beneath him, he almost leered above her. His face remained very neutral but the way his body moved was like a tiger. He lunged at her, it was a lunge to grabbed her by the waist despite her furious kicking and quickly covered her mouth before she could let her first scream out./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Now, now. That's not very grateful." He muttered as he lifted her. "Shit you're heavier then he said" she furiously kicked at him, her flimsy flats did not help inflict any damage upon the hulk of a man. His shoulder was like a rock and it nearly knocked the wind out of her as he tossed her over it. She began to scream again. "Oh fuck," he said dropping her on the she braced herself for impact and tried to roll as soon as she hit the ground./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She hit the side of her head and the pain felt like her head was going to split. Her chest felt like it was going to collapse on itself and she could feel the huge bruise forming on her forearms but she still tried to crawl away. Even a measly inch away felt safer./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her vision was swimming, her senses all became a foggy haze then ran together. She thought she heard the brute saying something but the ringing in her ears was all she could remember. Her shirt rode up as she crawled nearly scraping her stomach raw./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh dear, you've gotten rather banged up. That was not supposed to happen." A new pair of feet was beside her and lifted her up very gently./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Jess?" she in vain tried to call. But the new man just tsked./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Now Sara, you're going to be a good girl and come with us without a fight right?" He asked her as one would as a child./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her ears were ringing and her head felt like it was going to burst into sheer white pain but she heard that part very clearly./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""How do you know my name?" She knew the answer. The men had brought her around the building to a street by a parked taxi cab. The one carrying her let out a dry laugh./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I think you know." He wasn't wrong. She felt her eyes water. Not just from the intense pain the racked her body but from fear and self-loathing. She had fallen into the web again, she had wandered right into whatever disgusting plan he had for her. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! "Now, now, cheer up!" He placed her in the back seat. "You've got a date!"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"*~*edited 06/06/17*~*/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"'No no that's shit.'/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Running from the devil isn't just a metaphor/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"'God damn it I'm really no good at this.' Sara leaned back in her chair. Staring at the blank page on her computer was too depressing. It really shouldn't be this hard to write a memoir! She flicked to her Facebook page to mindlessly kill time./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"No notifications. Not that she was surprised. She hadn't update anything in about eight months now. The only thing she did was change her status back to single and delete every picture that reminded her of the year and half from hell she had./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Plenty of people were getting married or going out with friends, Bethany was pregnant! It was all so normal. So ordinary. So boring. It actually made her feel very safe. Life was still happening. The world was turning round and round without Jim being there to spin it./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Shit she let herself think about him. Memories began to flood her mind again. Her old apartment, their apartment, the elevator…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She began to breathe deeply, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Hopefully she could avoid another panic attack. She debated giving her therapist Chris a call….she had suggest that if she ever need to calm down. Sara didn't like phone calls. She did even have a phone anymore./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her computer chirped, bringing her back to a reality. Back to quaint, quiet little flat outside London./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara it's been so long! How are you?/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" Her friend Jess had messaged her. It was the first time she had spoken to her since she had moved. The first time she had spoken to any of her old friends actually. She bit her lip in thought and began to type/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I'm doing alright, how are you?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Lord I miss you! We need to talk, but face to face like normal people. Are you busy this week?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara grimaced. It wasn't really a secret that she was no longer engaged and seriously depressed. Most of her friends had given up on reaching out. Jess was one of the few holding out, inviting her out, trying to get her to meet up with someone./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She really didn't want to leave. She looked at herself. It'd been a good three days since she showered, she knew she put on at least fifteen pounds and was wearing the sweatpants she had slept in. In short she was a bit of a mess./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I'm rather busy /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"guilt panged her stomach. Jess was a nice girl. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"But I think I'm free on Saturday./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Chris would commend her. Seeing people would help her adjust again, remind her that people care about her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sounds Great! Meet up at Ruby's?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara felt sick again. This was going to suck so much. She looked at her blank word document. Well the world changing, bestselling memoir of the year wasn't going to write itself./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"My ex-fiancé is a psychopath./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"xx/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara waited quietly at a booth. She hadn't done anything to look particularly special, but avoided looking particularly pathetic as well. This was a chance to prove she had a life and was moving on. But that didn't mean she'd be dating anytime soon. She avoided anything to sexy or revealing. But she did not want the pitiful looks she'd get from Jess if she wore anything with the word 'sweat' in it./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her eye was fixed on the door. Being alone in public was not fun, without a cellphone she wouldn't be able to know if Jess canceled./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It was only 15 minutes, she could be caught in traffic. Sara slumped her head onto her elbow./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This wasn't a puzzle. This wasn't a game. This was coffee with a friend. It was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"normal. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"fun./spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" It wasn't something to be suspicious of./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"The waiter who had seated eyed her again and Sara shrugged sympathetically. He let a frustrated sigh and went back to the kitchen. It was not very busy, most people were out at pubs in the evening on a Saturday. The wait staff's attention on her only made her feel more uncomfortable and glance at her watch even more./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She was about to bail, twenty minutes was past a little late. She stood up but luckily Jess ran into the shop that very second./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""No no no! Sit down! I'm so late, my head was in the clouds!" the redhead barreled over to the table nearly smashing into a waitress refiling someone's cup. Sara smiled. Here we go…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Jess sat down and quickly flagged a waiter. "Hi love, two coffees both black for now? Thanks!" She quickly shooed him off as suddenly as she had called him. She was busting with energy. "Oh Sara it's so good to see you! It's been far too long. Tell me everything that's been going on! How's your mum? How's that job at Marshall's going? I've always heard retail is a bitch but you've got a smart eye for fashion. Lord knows you can put up with idiots well…"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara happily nodded along with Jess's ramblings. It felt a bit like old times. She didn't need to say much either, which was of course a bonus./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Well David was a complete arse. Bugger was still in love with that Victoria chick. So he's gone. Thank god too. I need some time for myself. We're both back in the single's pool again!" She reached her hand out to pat hers but Sara recoiled. Her entire body tensed up. She was not prepared for this. She didn't want to discuss anything. "Oh…I'm sorry dear. I suppose it was a bit insensitive of me to bring that up. My bad. I have tendency to do that, I don't mean it you don't that don't you? I just babble…"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara had gotten very good at just nodding along. Jess was one of the many people that would take that as a sign to keep talking thank god. Despite that little bump the entire time was very pleasant./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I'm glad you got me to come out here." Sara said giving her friend a smile. Jess's face light up in triumph. Jess had always been a kind heart. Sara started to wonder why she had avoided this for so long. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I'm glad you decided to come! It's always nice to catch up. We should see more of each other."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""We should." Sara nodded. Jess lifted her to fetch her phone which had been vibrating. Tonight had been much better than she suspected. Sara could honestly say she felt rather cheerful after tonight. This is what 'normal' must feel like. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Some weirdo, he's got the wrong number." Jess said with a roll of her eyes./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""That's annoying." Sara commented, although she hadn't experienced that in about a year so she really wasn't sure./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I know, I got a call from Swinton the other day! Some old broad who could figure out touch screens!" Sara let out a laugh and sipped more of her nasty coffee. She wasn't a fan of black coffee anymore but she hadn't wanted to correct her friend. Jess's phone began to vibrate again./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Ugg! Wrong number man!" She grunted quickly responding before shoving it back in her purse. Sara was about to suggest they meet up next week when the phone began to vibrate almost manically. Jess looked rather confused as she picked up her phone./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""What the hell…" She stared, almost frightened as the screen light up her face. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Is it still the same number?"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Yeah, check it out." She showed Sara the phone. The world stopped. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I miss you darling/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I miss you so much. Please come home/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I can't eat, doesn't that make you sad? I'm dying without you./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I can barely sleep. All of my dreams are about you…it makes me so sad sweetheart/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Sara could feel the hair on her neck stand up straight. Her arms began to shake./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Fucking weirdo, must've gone through some rough break up. Still, learn your girlfriend's number. Probably one of the reasons she left…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""W-what makes you say it's a guy?" her palms were sweaty. This couldn't be happening. This was all a joke. A huge joke, her brain was tricking her, this wasn't happening to her. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh intuition. Girls don't obsess like this. Well, they don't show it this way." Obsessed. That word seemed to kind, too normal, to /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"sane/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" to describe what this was. Sara could feel her feet going numb. Her heart was racing./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This was not happening. She was going to throw up./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Jess I need to go." Sara grabbed her bag and tried to stand up but slammed her knee into the top of the table making her fall back onto the vinyl seat in agony./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh Sara, you ok?" Jess tried to contain the laugh in her voice. Sara could hear her heart racing, nearly bursting and was sure everybody else in the restaurant could too. Her breathing got shallow, she couldn't get in enough oxygen. "Sara…you, you ok?" Jess leaned over the table letting the phone to the side so Sara could see the new messages/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Don't go. I've missed you so much. Can't we talk?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I've give you space haven't I? I've been a good boy. Don't I deserve a little reward?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Nononono I'm having a panic attack." She said as she found herself curled into the fetal position in the booth./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Shit! Err do you have medication or…something?" Jess had come over to the other side of the table, the phone began to buzz making a shrieking sound against the plastic table. And again. And again./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"What's wrong dear?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Is it something /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"I /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"said?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Do you need some help?/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"The world was attacking her. Nothing seemed right, her lungs could get any air, her heart was pumping too fast, she was dying. She was going to die. And if she didn't he was going to get her…she could say which was worse./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Um, can you help us? She's having a panic attack!" Jess said to anybody around. A few waiters began to crowd the table. All of the voices just swirled around Sara and hung over her head. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""What happened?" "She's having a panic attack" "Does she have meds?" "No""Do you want water?" "Out of the way, let's take her out of here." /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"A rather large man shoved aside the others to get to Sara. Cradling her in his chest he began to carry her out of the shop into an empty alley. She was nearly comatose, she hadn't even thought of why this stranger was touching her. Jess tailed along asking about a million questions about him and who he was./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Look, I had panic attacks as a kid. She just needs time away from whatever triggered it. Give her room." He gruffed. Jess shut her mouth and crouched down next to the still shaking Sara./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It hadn't helped at all. He was still there…he still knew where she was…/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Hey, it's ok Sara. Want me to hail a taxi to take you home?" Jess asked in a gentle voice that made Sara want to slap her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"This was her fault. She made her go outside her bubble. She helped him find her again, she was the one that carried her mobile around with her everywhere. The man who had helped her nodded to Jess./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""That would probably be a good an idea, you should go with her too. Make sure she gets to bed." Jess nodded and gave Sara a quick once over before running back into the coffee shop to grab her purse./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Being alone with this man finally settled in, only made Sara more uneasy. The circles he was making on her back was not soothing but almost possessive. Frightening. She tried to scoot away from him but he held her firmly./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Thank you but please just—just stop." She said leaning away and nearly falling off the curb. She had positioned herself so she was beneath him, he almost leered above her. His face remained very neutral but the way his body moved was like a tiger. He lunged at her, it was a lunge to grabbed her by the waist despite her furious kicking and quickly covered her mouth before she could let her first scream out./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Now, now. That's not very grateful." He muttered as he lifted her. "Shit you're heavier then he said" she furiously kicked at him, her flimsy flats did not help inflict any damage upon the hulk of a man. His shoulder was like a rock and it nearly knocked the wind out of her as he tossed her over it. She began to scream again. "Oh fuck," he said dropping her on the she braced herself for impact and tried to roll as soon as she hit the ground./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"She hit the side of her head and the pain felt like her head was going to split. Her chest felt like it was going to collapse on itself and she could feel the huge bruise forming on her forearms but she still tried to crawl away. Even a measly inch away felt safer./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her vision was swimming, her senses all became a foggy haze then ran together. She thought she heard the brute saying something but the ringing in her ears was all she could remember. Her shirt rode up as she crawled nearly scraping her stomach raw./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Oh dear, you've gotten rather banged up. That was not supposed to happen." A new pair of feet was beside her and lifted her up very gently./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Jess?" she in vain tried to call. But the new man just tsked./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""Now Sara, you're going to be a good girl and come with us without a fight right?" He asked her as one would as a child./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Her ears were ringing and her head felt like it was going to burst into sheer white pain but she heard that part very clearly./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""How do you know my name?" She knew the answer. The men had brought her around the building to a street by a parked taxi cab. The one carrying her let out a dry laugh./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;""I think you know." He wasn't wrong. She felt her eyes water. Not just from the intense pain the racked her body but from fear and self-loathing. She had fallen into the web again, she had wandered right into whatever disgusting plan he had for her. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! "Now, now, cheer up!" He placed her in the back seat. "You've got a date!"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"*~*edited 06/06/17*~*/span/p