Chapter 1

*I don't own Rookie Blue*

So yeah, this story has been going through my head for the past couple of weeks now. I think I've worked out the plot enough by now to post this first chapter. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think in a review!

This story is set right after the blackout events. (1x7)

…

'Oh my god, what have I done?' Andy thought as she stormed out of his house and started walking back to her own place. 'What in the world was I thinking?'

Yes she was upset and she wasn't thinking coherently, but she had shot a man today, so it was to be expected. She had gone over to his house, hoping he'd tell her it'd be alright, give her some sort of advice. But by the time she'd gotten to his place, had knocked on his door, it was as if she'd forgotten everything. All she could think about as he opened the door was how much she wanted to kiss Sam, how she wanted his kisses to comfort her.

When the lights came back on, it was as if reality kicked in again. And when Luke called, she suddenly realized everything, all the mistakes she had made since becoming a rookie. It had confused her so much, she just had to run off.

She entered her home, just as her phone started ringing again. It was Luke, again. She ignored the call and sank down on her bed.

Even though she knew it was completely wrong and inappropriate, kissing Sam was probably the best thing she had ever done. The way his arms felt around her, the way he had lifted her up and had laid her down on his bed…

But it was a mistake. He was her TO, she was just a rookie. There was a reason why those two couldn't date, although Andy couldn't think of any reason that was valid enough to keep her away from Sam.

Of course there was Luke, great close to perfect Luke. But the 'close to' part was what was the problem with them. They had a good, solid relationship, but that was all. There was no spark, like there was between her and Sam, no static pull. She did not think about Luke every second he was not around her. She thought about Sam.

She'd put herself in an awfully difficult position by allowing Luke to but her a drink on fight night. If she had followed her gut instinct then, she would never have done it. She had needed someone to get her mind off Sam and Luke was such a nice guy. She felt horrible towards him, he deserved more than what she had done to him, though it would probably get worse when she talked to him. But it was just one of those things she had to get over with.

She had little sleep that night, tossing and turning as she thought of what she was going to tell Luke. Of course these thoughts were generally interrupted by the thoughts of Sam.

She woke tired the next morning, but a large cup of coffee gave her the energy she was going to need that day.

Traci came by to pick her up and immediately noticed something was going on.

'Spill it, Andy! What happened?' Traci said.

Quickly Andy told her about going over to Sam's place the night before, the kiss and all the conclusions she had reached after over thinking everything during the night.

'I mean, Luke is a great guy, he really and truly is, but he isn't what I want. I know I said I wanted to fall for the good guy, the safe guy, for once but as it turns out, I can't stop thinking about Sam. And after last night… I mean, wow! I don't think I've ever been kissed like that ever before,' Andy concluded as a vacant expression appeared on her face.

'Girl, you've got it bad,' Traci said. 'Though, I must admit I'm glad you finally came to your senses.'

'What? Weren't you the one who pushed me into choosing to be with the safe guy?'

'The only reason I said that, was because I didn't want you to get hurt by one of those bad boy types again. I mean, we hardly knew the guy at the time and he was an undercover cop, which basically equals bad ass. Luke was the good guy working homicide and most importantly it wasn't strictly forbidden to date him. Speaking of which, what were you planning on doing after you break things off with Luke? You're still a rookie and Sam's still your TO.'

'I know! It's horrible and I've got no clue. But I know I can't keep lying to myself,' Andy said, letting out a sigh as they entered the parking lot.

…

Sam had slept badly that night. His back was sore and he felt like he had been flushed down the toilet. He had slept on the couch, as he couldn't bear the thought of having to be in his bedroom, where her scent, her wonderful, magnificent scent, still lingered. He had tried to forget what happened. She seemed to have wanted to do the same thing. No wonder, not only was he her TO, she was also in a relationship with homicide Luke. A cold shower seemed to help a little, right up to the point where he realised he had to go into his room to get to his closet. Anrgy he pulled on some clothes and quickly ate some breakfast. He wished he could somehow freeze time to get his act together before shift started, since he was most likely paired with her again today, but there was no time.

When he got to the station he changed quickly into his uniform and made his way to Best's office.

'Come on in,' Best called out at his knock.

'Could I ask you a favour?' Sam asked as he sat down.

'Sure, what do you want?' Best said.

'Could I ride solo today?' Sam asked, avoiding direct eye contact with Best.

'Solo? May I ask why?' Best replied.

'I'm going through some personal issues, Sir. Not really in the mood for company,' Sam said.

'Well, if you're sure. I'll put McNally with Williams for the day.'

'Thank you, sir,' Sam said. He got up and walked towards the door. He was nearly out when Best called on him.

'Sam? Can I be sure you handle this, eh, personal situation? There won't be any problems in the future?'

'I'll take care of everything, Sir,' Sam promised, closing the door behind him. He just had no idea how he was going to do that.

As he made his way to parade, he noticed Luke standing at his office door, phone at his ear. When he noticed Sam looking his way, he called out to him.

'He, Swarek, Have you seen Andy by any chance? She won't answer her phone.'

'Sorry, I haven't seen her jet today,' Sam said, quickly turning away as he was starting to feel highly uncomfortable talking to Luke for even the shortest period of time.

'Could you tell her I'm looking for her and need to speak with her as soon as possible?' he heard Luke call after him.

'Will do,' Sam called, without turning around to face Luke. Sure, he would be the one to tell her to talk to him, make things right with him, when all he wanted to do was take her some place private and…

He stopped his thought there. He couldn't do that. The way she left last night had made it clear he wasn't the person she wanted to be with. Why did those awfully timed things always happen to him? Just when he finally met a girl he could see himself with for the rest of his life, she didn't feel the same way about him. Why?

Angrily, he hit the wall right next door to the parade room. He didn't notice as several people looked up in shock.

'Everything alright, Sammy?' Oliver asked as Sam entered the room.

'Yeah, everything's fine,' Sam said, trying to put on a more neutral face, though he was still quite sure some anger shone through.

He watched as everybody entered parade room, his heart jumping as he saw Andy. God, she was beautiful. But she would never be his. Last night was a onetime thing and he was going to savour every second of it. She avoided to look at him as she took her seat, seemingly deep in conversation with Traci.

Parade started, with the usual updates and assignments. He didn't pay much attention, desperately waiting to get out there and start doing his damn job.

When they were dismissed, he was the first one out of the room and in his car on the road, driving.

...

As Andy had walked out of the locker room, she'd seen Luke standing in his office doorway. He had waved at her to come over, but she had pointed at the parade room, indicating that she needed to be there and had walked on.

'I thought you wanted to talk to him?' Traci noted surprised.

'I do, I just haven't figured out what I'm going to tell him. I just wished this could somehow be easier.'

They entered parade and sat down in their usual spots.

'Andy, that conversation never will be any easier, but when you get it over with…' Traci said in hushed tone.

'Stop it! I'm not even sure if he feels the same. All I know is the way I feel about him, I could never feel that for Luke.'

'Girl, you've got it bad,' Traci said again, just before Best started talking.

Andy's thoughts drifted off to the night before. She relived every second of the day before again, the way he had touched her, kissed her, everything. She only looked up from her thoughts as she heard Best call out her name.

'McNally, you're with Williams today. Dismissed!'

Andy looked up, taken aback. Why wasn't she paired with Sam today? There was no other option. He just didn't want to be around her. He thought last night was a mistake. It was a mistake, a terrible mistake. Yet it had opened her eyes.

'You coming, McNally?' Noelle asked, as she was still sitting on her chair.

'Yep,' Andy said, trying to compose her face as good as possible, even managing a faint smile.

'Then let's get going!' Noelle said, leading the way out.

...

So that's it for the first chapter. Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!

B