Circles and Points
By:AliasCWN
"Hi Hitch, how are you feeling?"
Mark Hitchcock turned his head to see his best friend approaching. "Hey Tully." He answered weakly.
"How's it going?"
"Okay." The blond answered, plucking absently at the balls of fuzz on his wool blanket.
"Something wrong?" Tully's usually calm eyes darkened with concern. Tilting his head, he studied his friend's face. "You look better." He observed critically. "So what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Hitch." Tully demanded sternly. "We're friends, you can tell me anything. I promise not to tell Sarge and Doc if you don't want them to know."
"It's not that Tully." Hitch answered, clearly embarrassed.
"So let's talk about it, we can figure it out together."
"It's nothing, really."
"Then why are you sitting her looking like you just lost your last friend?"
Hitch sighed, turning his head away. Tully waited, knowing that eventually the blond would talk to him. It had taken a while for Hitch to let him in, but now they were best friends. As best friends, they could, and did, talk about all sorts of things, even the private things that Hitch hid from everyone else.
"I did it again Tully."
"Did what?" Tully took a seat next to the hospital bed and moved the chair closer so that their conversation would remain private. "What did you do?"
"I put everyone at risk."
"What?"
"I got hurt again Tully." Hitch continued stubbornly on as Tully began to shake his head. "I got hurt and the rest of you had to cover for me. Don't try to tell me that you would have stopped so often if I hadn't been wounded."
"So you think taking more breaks was a hardship on the rest of us? I got news for you buddy, we all get tired. You know how stressful it is to always be on alert; straining your eyes to watch the desert, twisting your neck to watch the sky, always tense and jittery. It takes a toll Hitch. We all feel it. Those rest stops helped us as much as they did you." At the blonde's look of complete disbelief Tully amended his comment. "Almost as much as it did you."
"And did you actually get any rest while we were stopped?"
"Sure." Tully shrugged. "I took a nap right next to you." With a grin Tully added. "Of course, you had all of the shade."
"Exactly." The injured man pounced on that fact. "I had all of the shade while the rest of you stood guard in the sun.
"Look Hitch."
"It's not fair Tully! You guys take the same risks I do, why did I get all of the shade?"
"Because you needed it." Tully drawled quietly. His expression didn't change but there was a slight shift in his body language. "You were hurt. You're the one who lost blood and went into shock. If it had been one of us, you can bet we wouldn't be complaining about getting all of the shade." Tully shook his head in exasperation. "You do beat all Hitch; I never know just how you figure things. Here we are trying to help you and you're complaining. What do you want us to do, leave you passed out in the rear of the jeep?"
"Maybe you should Tully. It would save you moving me around all the time. How many times have you guys had to rush me to a hospital because I got hurt?"
The other private shrugged. "I don't know Hitch, I never thought to keep count. I guess I just figured that that is what you do for your friends."
"Like you think that you need to sit next to me and keep me cool, or sleep next to me so I won't hurt myself if I wake up."
"Yeah, like that." Tully answered defensively. "Those are things that you do without being asked because you're friends. We don't expect you to pay us back, just knowing that we're helping is all of the thanks we need. It would be nice to know that you appreciate it though. If it bothered you, all you had to do was say something."
"It bothers me Tully." Hitch looked up at Tully as he said it and couldn't miss the look of hurt on the other man's face. "Not like that Tully! I do appreciate what you do. I do! It's just…." He lowered his head again to avoid seeing the pain his words had caused.
"Just what Hitch? I'm trying to understand here, I really am, but you lost me. You do all of those things for the rest of us when we get hurt. Are you doing it because you think you owe us, is that it?"
"No!" Hitch looked around quickly to see if any of the other patients had noticed his outburst. Since none of them were looking his way, he lowered his voice and continued. "I take care of you guys because I want to, you're my friends, and I don't want to lose you."
Tully shook his head, "I don't understand. Why is it okay for you to do it but all wrong when we do it? What makes you special?"
"Nothing, that's the point."
"What point? I don't see a point here, just a lot of circles."
Hitch sighed, letting his shoulders slump, he lay back on his pillow. "I guess that it's just that I feel like you guys are always taking care of me. I'm the one always getting hurt. It's not fair to you guys to make you have to do that all of the time."
"We don't have to." Tully answered, hiding a smile. "We want to."
"But you shouldn't have to."
"We…want…to." Tully reached over to grip his fellow private by the arm. "None of us keep count Hitch, unless it's to worry about how often you get hurt, because we care about you. We don't worry about how often we have to stop to let you rest. Or about giving you the shade. Or about sleeping next to you so you don't wake up and move." Tully paused. "Or about any of those other things you seem to think that we worry about. We worry about you….you…not all of those other things."
"That only makes me feel guiltier for making everyone worry about me all of the time. Every time I get hurt you worry."
Tully chuckled. "Don't."
"But..."
"Hitch." Tully interrupted. "We worry about you even when you don't get hurt. I worry about you, I worry about Sarge, I even worry about Doc. I know that you can all take care of yourselves, but things happen, so I worry. And I'm sure that they do the same. Tell me, and be truthful, don't you worry about us?"
Hitch nodded, albeit reluctantly. "But you don't get hurt as often so I don't have to take care of you all of the time."
"Okay," Tully reasoned, "what if it was me who got hurt all of the time?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I was the one who got hurt the most often, would you be mad at me for making you do all of those things?"
"You wouldn't have to make me do anything Tully." Hitch frowned at the thought. "Okay, so I get that I'm not making you do anything."
"But?" Tully sighed.
"But you still do them because I get hurt."
"Sure," Tully agreed, "you wouldn't need our help if you weren't hurt . If you hadn't been hurt you could and would have taken care of yourself. It's not your fault that you needed a little extra attention." Tully frowned at his friend. "You aren't trying to tell me that you get hurt just to get attention are you?" He challenged.
"No." Hitch snorted. "That would be stupid."
Tully chuckled. "Yeah, it would."
"I just don't want any special treatment." The blond finally acknowledged.
"And you won't get it….unless you need it."
"There we are…..right back at the beginning again." Hitch sighed.
"Circles Hitch, you keep going in circles."
"I don't know how to stop. I get hurt, you take care of me, I get hurt again, round and round."
"With the occasional break to take care of one of us. We do do other things besides just take care of you. You pull your own weight in this outfit you know."
"Sometimes I wonder." The blond groaned.
"You know your problem?"
Hitch looked at Tully, waiting for the other soldier's pearl of wisdom. Tully seemed wise beyond his years and could usually be counted on to get to the root of the problem.
"You worry too much."
Hitch's jaw dropped. "That's it? That's your answer?"
The other man shrugged, "You didn't really ask a question." With a smile he scooted his chair closer. "Look Hitch, you get hurt a lot. It's not your fault, at least most of the time. It might be nice if you would tell Sarge that you're hurt before you actually fall out of the jeep." He smiled as the blond reddened and then he continued. "Somebody has to have the dubious honor of being the one who gets hurt the most often. In this outfit, it's you. Look at it this way, if we have to take care of you, because you need it, that means you got hurt instead of us."
Hitch raised his head, a startled look in his eyes. He stared at Tully for a minute, speechless. Finally he nodded and lowered his head with a smile. "I never thought about it like that. I guess I don't mind that so much."
"Just don't go out of your way to make us feel useful. We're content to let you take care of yourself when you're able."
"You don't like having something to keep you busy?" The blond teased, suddenly in a better mood.
"Huh. Sarge can keep both of us plenty busy. Don't ever tell him we need more to do."
"Who needs more to do?"
Tully and Hitch both looked surprised at the sound of Troy's voice. Both sergeants stopped next to the bed.
"Nobody Sarge." They answered in unison.
"Then what were you two talking about?" He asked curiously.
Tully glanced at Hitch and smiled. "Just circles and points Sarge."
"Circles and points?"
"It was nothing Sarge." Hitch hurried to add.
Troy looked at the smiling faces and wondered what they were up to. Deciding that they weren't going to share, he changed the subject.
"So how are you feeling Hitch?"