I had never feared much in my life. After all, being the Son of Hades, The Lord of The Underworld, I have seen a lot. But, my recent feelings for a certain demigod terrified me. It was, after all, wrong. Wasn't it? I have never felt like this before, about anyone. So when I got butterflies in the pit of my stomach that day that Percy and I were sword fighting, I thought nothing of it. What I thought was that maybe something had gone wrong downstairs. But, then, when I got . . . Excited when I saw Percy Jackson Skinny Dipping, I knew something was wrong.

It didn't fully hit me until one day, late August. This day, was one of realization. Here it is.

As I sit on the roof of my cabin, I watch the sun set into the horizon. It was like a normal Wednesday night. I was thinking about my sudden curiosity with my cousin Percy Jackson. I didn't know why, but something about him intrigued me. After he saved the world from Kronos, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was the way the sun hit his Jet Black hair and made it sparkle. It was the hair the light caught his striking features. Maybe it was the way his eyes shined every time he smiled. I couldn't quiet decided, but something about this young demigod kept him in my mind and in my dreams.

After the sun set, I got up and walked over to the ladder that leads back into my bedroom. As I walked down I carefully pulled down the door that opens the entrance to my roof, stepped onto my balcony and hopped off landing on the ground below. I notice that all the lights in the Aphrodite cabin were on. Well, of course they were. They always have something going on around there. As I walk up towards there cabin, I notice the small sound laughter coming from the ocean. Also, I realize that this laughter belongs to none other than Percy. I decide to go see what he is doing. Changing direction, I head to the lake. As I get there, I see the breath taking figure of Percy Jackson running around the shore being chased by a sea nymph. The moon reflected off of his perfectly toned body in such a manor it was breathe taking. Without thinking I call out his name.

He turns around, water droplets flying from his hair. When he sees me, a large smile takes over his features.
"Nico! Get down here!'" Percy yells up to me.

A feeling of unease rushes through me. I am now suddenly very self-conscience. I didn't like how skinny I was, or how my body was no match compared to Percy's. My feet start to move, going against my very command. I try and get them to stop, but somewhere on my sub conscience mind, a thought is awakening. I feel something stirring deep inside me. I keep walking, and one I get to the shore I take of my jacket, shirt, shoes, and jeans.

As I plunge into the water I am shocked by the temperature of the water. My toes curl and my whole body shivers. Don't get me wrong, the Underworld is cold, but it is nothing compared to the ocean. "How are you not cold?" I ask him, freezing.

Without actually realizing it, I see the Nymph give me a dirty look, and sink back into the water.

"Son of Poseidon. Remember? He is the sea god. This is the sea. . . "He says with a sly smile on his face.

"Ass!" I call him with a smile of my own. "So, what have you been doing lately? I haven't really seen you around lately."

"Ya know the usual. I've just been busy I guess. I don't really know. I have been swimming a lot lately. Trying to keep myself busy. I guess I've just needed some alone time. I have been confused … about a lot of things. I don't know, I guess I have just been distant."

"I see. Yeah, I know what you mean. And if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you. Just remember that okay?" I tell him with a smile.

By then we have made our way to shore, and are sitting in the sand. "Thanks Nico. It's just that when I think about Annabeth, it feels like . . . I can't really explain. It feels like it is something that is supposed to happen. And I'm not sure that I want it to happen anymore."

"Oh. I have had some weird feelings lately. There is just this one person who I keep thinking about. No matter what it is. I even dream about them . . ."

"Yeah! And whenever you see them you just keep wishing that you looked better. You wish that you were even almost as good looking as that person. You start to notice there little quirks. Like how they will go days without eating, and you worry and worry about them, thinking that they will starve."

"It is probably the worst feeling ever when you think about it. Knowing that they don't even know you exists . . ." I say, "But then, when you two are together, it is more then you could ever wish for. But then you realize that this is wrong, and it shouldn't be the way it is. But it is, and there is nothing you can do about it

We just sit there in silence for a while. Not having anything to say. I look over without thinking I move my hand, grabbing for his. I take it in my own, and interlock fingers. I look him in the eyes with a look of longing and lust. He looks at me back, and we gaze into each other' eyes. Midnight black meeting Sea green. Just as I start to lean in thinking that there was actually something between us, he pauses, and looks away. He let go of my hand cleared his thought, and stood up. He looked at me and said, "See you around Neeks."

As he walked away I couldn't help but think about what just happened again and again. I ran the situation over and over in my head. We had never been that close together before and I didn't know what to think about it. Something about it all seemed off and the way he was talking about the person that he liked . . . almost as if he . . . were a HE! MY GOD!' Percy is . . . maybe he is gay. Does that mean I do have a chance! That would be more then I could have ever wanted . . . but maybe, just maybe, this time I got what I wanted. But even if I did, it would never be allowed by my father . . . I don't really think Poseidon would care all that much, but my dad . . . now that was a different story.

Getting up, I slouched back to my cabin, climbed into my bunk, and embraced the darkness. I gently let out a soft stream of tears, silent but very much real. Now, knowing that my true love would never truly be 'mine' there was nothing else for me. So I lay there, alone and scared. Scared of the future, scared of the truth . . .