A/N: Another materful Fairy Tale spoof from Skittlez. Hooray!

Snoring Beauty

Part 1: Because Falling Asleep is Terrifying.

When Kagura came into the world at a sprightly 20 years old, there was a huge party. (For which she was happy because her "dad" bought a bunch of alcohol, and she was not yet old enough to get it) He was actually throwing a party on account of he finally got the whole-asexual reproduction thing right, not for Kagura since she wasn't all that important.

Lots of people came, princes and princess, kings and queens, ducks and duchesses' fairies, nymphs, everyone from everywhere, but one fairy was not invited.

And oh boy, she was PISSED at that.

So to extract her revenge on Naraku for not being invited to his huge party, she flew in (UNINVITED) and cursed Kagura.

"A year from tonight…this woman will prick her finger on a flower and FALL ASLEEP!"

"…That sounds absolutely fucking terrible, I'm so terrified…" Kagura muttered sarcastically.

"I wasn't finished you stupid bint!" she snapped. "And you will not wake up until your one true love kisses you!"

"Can I pick my own true love?"

"NO!"

The fairy zoomed out of the party cackling wildly.

"I guess I'll just have to avoid flowers from strange men then?" she asked.

Naraku wasn't fazed. "God Kagura, you're alive one day and you're already doomed."

Kagura rolled her eyes angrily. "It's YOUR fault! You're the one who didn't invite her to your party!" she accused.

"Shut up or I'll have you killed, I can replace you LIKE THAT!" he said, suddenly another person sprouted from Naraku's flesh, she looked about nine, with pale skin and long white hair and black eyes.

"Oh! I always wanted a little sister," Kagura remarked.

Naraku glared at her. "I'm going to sleep."

Kagura mimicked him as he walked up the stairs and then once he had disappeared from site, she patted her new sister on the head and went to her own room.

A year had passed. She had definitely forgotten about the fairies curse and suitors ("strange men" as Kagura called them), were practically lining up hoping to get her so they could become Kings.

Kagura accepted their gifts and rejected most-if-not-all of them. She had made a couple of friends in the course of the year, and they sat there watching her reject man-after-man.

"Send some of them my way, woman!" one of the men whined.

"Jakotsu, I have a feeling they don't swing that way."

"They might swing both ways for all you know!"

Kagura took the bouquet of flowers from the nearest suitors, not being careful as she was talking to Jakotsu. "I don't think so- goddamnit!" she cried, pricking her finger on the thorns of the rose she had grabbed.

The man walked away, his job was done.

And Kagura fell out of her chair in a dead sleep, landing on the ground with a most-graceful thud.

"Oh crap…" Jakotsu's companion, a younger boy with long black hair tied in a braid, muttered.

"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" Jakotsu shouted, grabbing his friend and running.

A/N: …I know, I'm crazy. And I changed a lot from the Sleeping Beauty story, but that's okay.