Worst Mission Ever:
"So…what is it today, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked as Kakashi began to open the mission scroll.
"I'll bet it's another dumb dog-walking mission or something like that," Naruto grumbled. "It just better not be that cat again."
Sasuke didn't say anything, but waited patiently for Kakashi to undo the scroll.
"Don't worry," Kakashi said, holding the scroll out for them to read, "I think you will find this is something quite…novel."
Naruto stared at the scroll. "Sensei…we're collecting fines on overdue library books? Why do ninja even have to do that? Can't the library have their people do it, you know?"
"Time and money," Kakashi replied calmly. "Now, you'll find the list of addresses here, with the amounts and durations and all that. I'm sure you can handle this on your own, so go on now!"
…
"I mean seriously, library fines? What kind of dumb mission is that? We've been on an A-ranked mission, for crying out loud!"
"I'm quite aware, Naruto," Sasuke snapped, "and you've said that eight times now. We're almost to the first house, so shut up."
Naruto mumbled several not-very-polite things under his breath and Sakura smacked him as Sasuke walked up the steps of the drab little house to ring the doorbell.
A harried-looking young woman opened the door. "Yes, what do you want?" she asked, shifting the baby she was holding in her arms.
Sasuke, much to his surprise, found himself briefly lost for words. He knew what he was supposed to be saying, but how to phrase it was another matter entirely. Next house Sakura does the talking, he decided. "You owe 150 ryo on an overdue library book," he said finally. "Um, I'm here to collect it."
"One hundred fifty?" the woman said. "Ah…I'm not sure…let me see, I'll be right back, ninja-san!"
From the sounds of it, the woman ransacked the entire house in the few minutes before she returned to the door. Sasuke could even hear her shouting to someone to check the couch cushions.
Finally, the woman came back, spilling a small handful of coins into Sasuke's hands. "I'm so sorry," she said nervously, "I could only find one hundred thirty…is that okay? I can pay the rest later…"
"Don't worry, it's fine," Sasuke said reassuringly.
He surreptitiously slipped another coin from his own pocket before he handed the money over.
…
Sakura smoothed her dress down self-consciously before she rang the doorbell. At least this house looked much more well-kept than the other one so she didn't have to feel guilty about taking money from the occupants.
She started to speak as the door opened, but she didn't get any farther than "Hello, I'm—" before she was interrupted.
"If you're selling anything, I don't want it," growled the man who opened the door. "And if you're buying anything, I don't have anything to sell. Now go away!"
The door slammed again, and Sakura could hear the man grumbling about 'fresh ninja brats' as he went back into the house.
She turned to look back at Naruto and Sasuke. "Now what?"
"Try again," Sasuke said.
Sakura sighed, and rang the doorbell again, pressing the button harder and longer this time.
The man finally returned and nearly ripped the door open. "What is it?" he demanded.
"I'm here to collect the fine on an overdue library book," Sakura said quickly, before he could yell at her to leave again. "You owe 17,526 ryo for a book that was borrowed twelve years ago."
"You want to know why?" the man growled. "My first house was destroyed in the Kyuubi attack and the book was in it."
It seemed to Sakura that the man's expression became even angrier when he suddenly caught sight of Naruto standing on the sidewalk, and he abruptly slammed the door.
"Now what am I supposed to do?" Sakura wailed.
She jumped at the sudden snap and puff of smoke beside her as Kakashi suddenly appeared on the porch. "Sensei!"
"Sorry about that," Kakashi said. "I should have told you how to handle that sort of thing. I'll finish taking care of this."
He rang the bell, and the door was jerked open almost instantaneously. "What now—" the man quickly realized that he wasn't talking to Sakura this time. "I mean, what can I do for you?"
"Ah, yes, I'm sorry about the little misunderstanding," Kakashi said. "We'll have a Natural Disaster Waiver put on your library record. However, I would recommend that you be more civil with the collectors in future?"
"Of course," the man replied, bowing curtly before he shut the door. Sakura sighed in relief.
…
"Hey, when do I get a turn, Sakura-chan?" Naruto demanded. "We've been to all the houses but one, and you or Sasuke have done it every single time!"
"Well…" Sakura frowned. "Okay, you can do it this time. We're almost there."
Team 7 was approaching a part of town that was mostly inhabited by shinobi. Naruto took the list of addresses from Sakura, and called a halt in front of a nice but not opulent apartment building. "Okay, we're here!" he announced, darting up the stairs to the fourth floor. Sakura and Sasuke waiting on the sidewalk as he rang the doorbell.
Nobody answered the door. Frowning, Naruto rang the bell again. And again. Finally, he started pounding on the door and shouting, but nobody answered.
"Hey!" Naruto yelled down to his teammates. "There's nobody there! Should I just break in and take the money or something?"
"Don't break in, Naruto, you could get in trouble for that!" Sakura called back.
She and Sasuke ran up the stairs to the landing where Naruto was.
"How much does this guy owe, anyway?" Naruto asked.
"Um…" Sakura unrolled the scroll to the end. "4,228 ryo for a book five months overdue."
"That's about how long we've been genin," Sasuke remarked absently.
"Huh. Weird," Naruto replied. "Hey, open up!" he yelled, starting to bang on the door again.
"If I might ask," a familiar voice suddenly said, "Why are you trying to beat down my door? I wouldn't recommend it, there are traps all over the entrance."
Naruto stared. "Kakashi-sensei? This is your place?"
"Yes," Kakashi replied.
"But…why would you have an overdue library book? You don't even read anything…except…"
Kakashi sighed, and pulled out the little orange book. There was a library sticker on the spine.