Her patience worn, Tasha snarls at the black goo blocking the away team, and moves to go around it. Half a second later, searing white pain fills her as Armus uses his power to toss her to the side. She gasps, and then slips into cool blackness.
Riker panics at seeing Tasha attacked. He fires wildly at Armus, but his phaser has no effect. He fires again, but Armus disappears back into his black pit. Riker runs to join Dr Crusher at Tasha's side. He kneels at Tasha's head, brushing blond hair away from Tasha's face. Worried, he looks to Dr Crusher, watching her frantically scan Tasha. Seconds later, worry wins and he speaks. "How is she Doctor?" Crusher shakes her head, blinking back tears. Captain Picard's voice comes over his combadge before Riker can inquire further. "Picard to Riker. What's going on down there?" "Tasha's injured sir, Armus attacked her." "Dr Crusher, report. How is she?" Crusher met Riker's eyes, her voice wavering as she replied. "She's dying sir." A stunned Picard quickly orders the away team back on board. Will carries Tasha to sickbay, and Dr Crusher goes to work. Data and Riker watch silently. Picard joins them shortly.
Many minutes later, Dr Crusher walks over to the men. "She's stable, but she's dying." "Dying?? But you can heal her, right Doctor?" Picard asked. Beverly shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I don't know what that creature did to her, but her cells are slowly coming undone. I can't stop it, I've tried everything I know." She swallowed hard, "She has about 48 hours to live. I'm sorry sir." Beverly walked away, going back to her patient. Picard turned to his officers, shocked at the news. He took a deep breath to compose himself. Tapping his combadge, he sent out an announcement to all of his officers, calling together a meeting. Riker and Data followed him out of sickbay.
Once they were all gathered, Picard updated them on Tasha's condition. "I know you are all worried about her," he said, "but we still have crew members down on that planet that we need to rescue. I ask that you all temporarily put your feelings and worries for Tasha aside until we get them rescued." His officers nodded, and Picard continued. "Riker, I want you to lead another away team down there. Take LaForge along this time, maybe his vision can be some help." Will nodded, and quickly gathered his team members up. He gestured for Worf to join them, but the Klingon declined, figuring that he may be of more help from the ship this time. Everyone filed out of the conference room, the away team heading straight for the transporter rooms.
Worf headed for one of the science stations. He started going over data from the scans done during the previous trip down to the planet, looking for anything that might help in Troi's rescue. He had a tough time keeping his thoughts on his duties and not on his injured friend in sickbay.
Down on the planet's surface, the away team was having the same issues. Despite agreeing to put their feelings aside, they couldn't help but worry about Tasha. At least, until Armus started toying with them again. Riker tries to negotiate with Armus, offering him almost anything in exchange for the safe return of the shuttle's crew. Beverly begs to be allowed to see Troi and the pilot. Armus starts to agree, then quickly changes his mind, infuriating the away team. Armus slithers over the shuttlecraft, and Troi begs to be let go. Troi knows he has hurt Tasha, and knows he enjoyed doing it. She speaks with Armus, telling him she senses his emptiness. She feels sorry for him. Armus doesn't want her pity however.
Back on the Enterprise, Worf is making some interesting discoveries. He notices that when Armus attacked Tasha, the energy fields blocking the transporter become weaker. Worf and Picard theorize that if Armus was provoked enough, the fields might lower enough that the shuttle's crew could be beamed out of there.
Angered by Troi's pity, Armus heads back to the away team. He tries to torment them more, pulling Riker down into the tar. Picard tries to get them all back to the Enterprise, but Armus threatens Riker's life. Instead, Picard beams down to the surface. He ends the games with Armus, and the evil creature lets Riker go. Picard sends the rest of the team back to the Enterprise, and remains to talk to Armus. He learns that Armus was abandoned on the planet, the discarded evil skin from a beautiful race. Armus' pain is clear, but he accepts no compassion from Picard either. Picard taunts him, angering the creature and denying him the one thing he wanted – a way off the planet. This angers Armus so much that Worf is able to break through the barriers and beam the shuttle crew aboard, transporting Picard simultaneously. Troi and the pilot are taken directly to sickbay. Picard follows, and, after being assured that they would be just fine, heads to Tasha's side.
Tasha was still unconscious. Beverly came over to join Picard. "Is she sedated?" "No sir," replied the doctor. "I see no real reason that she is unconscious, I figure she'll come around soon." "Any progress on curing her?" "I've already tried everything twice sir, there's nothing else to be done." Picard nodded sadly. Beverly started to walk away, but then Tasha stirred. She started thrashing about on the bed, mumbling "No, no" over and over, getting louder each time, as if she was having a nightmare. Picard grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her gently. "Tasha." He spoke soft at first, not wanting to startle the woman, but when she didn't respond to repeated tries, he shook her harder, speaking her name loudly. Tasha came awake, panic filling her eyes until she saw her Captain. "Where…where am I?" She asked, trying to sit up. "You were hurt by that creature Armus, do you remember?" asked Beverly. Tasha sat up with the Captain's help, raising a hand to her forehead and rubbing her temples. "I remember starting to walk around him, then nothing. What happened?" "Armus attacked you. You've been unconscious for awhile now," answered Picard, as Beverly scanned Tasha again. "Well, I'm fine now. What about Troi and the pilot?" "They're fine, we just got them back to the ship." "Good." Tasha swung her legs over to the side of the bio-bed, preparing to stand. Picard held her back. Tasha glanced at him and the doctor. "I can return to duty now?" She half asked, half stated. Picard and Beverly shared a look. Tasha caught the tension, and started to worry. "What? What's going on? Is something wrong?" Beverly answered, knowing it was her duty. "Tasha, when Armus hit you, he did something to you. Your cells are degenerating." "Oh great, so that means I have to stay in sickbay right?" Tasha was worried but trying not to show it. Beverly swallowed before replying. "Tasha… I can't stop it. You're dying. I'm sorry." "Dying?" Tasha's voice was full of fear. "How long do I have?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer. "About 48 hours." Tasha nodded, taking in the information. "Is there any reason I need to stay in sickbay for that time?" Beverly was caught off-guard, and shook her head. "I see no reason why." Tasha hopped off the bed, glancing to her Captain. "Request permission to be dismissed sir." "Granted," answered Picard softly. Tasha fled from sickbay.
Tasha flew down the halls, barely missing Worf as she turned a corner. Worf tried to grab her, but she dodged him. He called after her, but she just ran faster, not wanting her warrior friend to see the tears that ran down her face. She ducked into the turbolift, and leaned heavily against the wall as it began to move. She wiped her tears as the door opened on her deck. Walking briskly, head down to hide her eyes, she headed to her quarters. She heard Will yell to her as she reached her door. She quickly entered her room, locking the door, and only making it a step before she collapsed on the floor, sobbing. She barely heard Will's worried voice outside the door, calling to her. He heard him override her lock and step into the room. "Tasha…" Worry filled his voice. He knelt beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She gave in and clung tightly to him, shaking as she sobbed. Will didn't even think of trying to stop her tears, he just held her close. He was unashamed as his own tears started. He rested his head on top of Tasha's and cried.
Tasha felt Will tremble, and looked up. Surprised, she saw the tears on his cheeks. She reached up and gently wiped them away. Will gave her a sad smile. "I'm scared Will," she said softly. He ran his hand over her cheek, feeling the moisture from her tears. She nuzzled her face lightly into his hand, and he sighed deeply. He could find no words to comfort her. He gently picked her up as he stood and moved over to the couch. She cuddled close to him as he settled them onto the couch. He barely heard her soft whisper. "I don't want to die." She trembled and he held her tight, one hand cradling the back of her head, fingers sliding into her hair. "Oh Tasha," he whispered, "I don't want you to die either."
Tasha closed her eyes as she listened to Will's heartbeat. His hands gently stroked her back, comforting her. She slowly relaxed and drifted off to sleep. Will held her for awhile before he carefully laid her on the couch and quietly left. He ran into Worf in the hallway. "Commander," Worf's deep voice was full of concern. "How is she?" "She's sleeping right now. Go in and watch over her, in case she has a nightmare. I doubt she'll sleep much longer. I'd stay but I need to talk to the Captain." Worf nodded, and quietly slipped into Tasha's room. He glanced at her, and then went into her bedroom, emerging a second later with a blanket that he gently draped over his friend. He settled into a nearby chair to wait.
As he waited, Worf found his thoughts traveling back to when he had first met Tasha. They were both first year cadets in the academy when the fiery young woman challenged him to a fight. Worf laughed at the slender human female and accepted, so sure of himself he barely bothered trying. Five minutes later, as he lay defeated, he growled when she offered him her hand to help him up. She grinned at him, shrugged, and tackled him again before he could get to his feet. He won that second match, but Tasha won overall, for she had earned his respect, something not easily given. As time passed, they learned more of one another, and discovered the similarities in their upbringings – Worf's parents were killed when he was a young boy, Tasha's mother was killed when she was a young girl. Worf had the benefit of being raised by foster parents, while Tasha was on her own, raising her sister on the harsh streets of Turkana IV. It was that harsh upbringing that turned Tasha into a fierce woman that Worf could call friend. Years after that first meeting, Worf had been overjoyed – though he was careful not to show it – to discover that they were both to be posted on the Enterprise. And now… the news that Tasha was dying devastated him. He would be losing his best friend.
During his time reflecting, Worf had settled back in the chair and closed his eyes. He opened them when he heard a soft whimper from Tasha. He moved to her side as she whimpered again, obviously dreaming. He reached down and gently shook her awake. She was startled at first to see him. "Are you ok?" he asked her. She shrugged, and quickly got up, turning away from him, but not before he saw the tears in her eyes. He knew she hated crying, hated feeling weak. He walked up behind her as she stood looking out the window. He hesitated a second before placing his hands on her shoulders. Klingons didn't normally show emotions like this, but he couldn't let Tasha die without her knowing how much she meant to him. "Tasha," he began, but she turned to face him and cut him off. "Don't, Worf." He met her eyes, confused and a bit hurt until she clarified. "I can't bear the goodbyes, not yet at least. I'm still alive!" He saw the fire in her eyes and smiled. "I was only going to ask you if you wanted to spend a little time in the holodeck." She smiled up at him thankfully, and the two friends headed to the holodeck for some fun. Half an hour later, she was sore and sweat stung her eyes, but she was happy. Worf glared at her from the floor, where she had left him. She giggled, and turned to walk out. Turning her back to the Klingon was a mistake however, and he quickly showed it by tackling her to the floor. He stood and chuckled at her as she glared at him. He offered her a hand up, and she took it, using the momentum from it to throw her arms around him. He started to retaliate then realized she wasn't attacking him again, but hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her in return, holding her tight to him. Minutes later, Tasha stepped away from him, mumbling an excuse as she headed for the door. He let her go only because he knew she needed it. This was hard for him, he couldn't begin to imagine how tough it was for her.
Tasha wiped tears from her eyes and wandered down the corridor. She felt totally lost and alone. Without really realizing it she found herself reaching for the buzzer at Deanna's cabin. The door opened as her finger hesitated. "Tasha." Deanna's voice was rough, probably from crying. Tasha met her eyes. "I'm sorry Deanna." "For what?" asked Deanna, confused. "This emotional flooding of the ship has to be rough on you." Deanna stared at her a second, then choked back a laugh and a sob. "Tasha, yes the sadness on the ship is almost overwhelming. I try to focus on the good instead, the love I sense is equal to the sadness." At Tasha's confused look, Deanna explained more. "Tasha, everyone is sad about the news. But they also love you very much. You have been graced with this time to say goodbyes. It's not something that would normally happen in your line of work." Tasha nodded, and embraced her friend. Deanna helped her realize that as sad as it was to say goodbye, having the chance to say it was a blessing. She spent a few more minutes with Deanna before heading to her cabin.
Tasha spent the next couple hours in her cabin alone. She redid her goodbye messages to each of her friends to allow for the goodbyes she'd be able to say in person. Once completed, she insured that the holographic messages would be delivered after her death. She visited Dr Crusher in sickbay next. Beverly examined her, tried a couple of other methods she had found in hopes of stopping the cell degeneration. Tasha's spark of hope flared, then was quickly extinguished as she looked into Beverly's sad eyes. She sighed, and asked for an updated timeframe. Beverly estimated she had 43 hours remaining. Tasha started planning on how to make the most of them. She thanked Beverly and headed to the bridge, figuring she'd finish up her shift there. She knew the Captain wouldn't expect her to be there, but doing something routine might be just what she needed.
She realized her mistake as soon as the turbolift doors opened and she stepped out onto the bridge. All eyes turned to her as a heavy silence descended over the bridge. She swallowed, suddenly nervous. She lowered her eyes as she stepped forward to her station. Thankfully after several long seconds, Captain Picard cleared his throat and the crew went back to what they were doing. Tasha could sense their eyes on her often, but, for the most part, everything felt normal. As the end of her shift approached she realized that this would be the last time she would be doing what she loved so much. Tears filled her eyes and she inwardly cursed herself for getting upset. She kept her eyes on her sensors, praying no one noticed her shaking hands or the wetness on her face. She wasn't that lucky however. "Lt Yar, join me in my ready room please." Picard's voice cut through all other bridge chatter. Tasha stepped quickly down the ramp and into the Captain's ready room.
She was thankful the Captain had his back turned as she entered. She used the moment to quickly wipe the tears off her cheeks, unaware he was watching her in the reflection in the window. She stood at attention and waited. He spoke without turning. "At ease Lt." She relaxed only a fraction as he turned towards her. Before he could say anything more, she blurted out an apology. "I'm sorry sir. I didn't realize my presence on the bridge would create such tension. I just wanted one last bit of normalcy before… before…" her voice broke, and the Captain took two long strides over to her, wrapping her in his arms as the tears started again. She started to pull away from him, embarrassed, but he wouldn't let her. "Tasha, it's ok." He kept one arm around her and led her to the couch. He sat next to her and took her hands in his. She kept her head down, avoiding his eyes. "Tasha, there is nothing wrong with being upset over your situation, and nothing wrong with showing it. This isn't Turkana IV where emotions are a weakness. You're among friends… family…the Enterprise is your home now." She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, and his heart ached at the sorrow he saw there. He reached out to gently wipe tears from her cheek as he spoke softly. "You've had a hard life Tasha. Let the people that love you be there for you now. Let them give you the comfort you so desperately need." She gave him a tiny smile and nodded once. He pulled her to him and she cried in his arms. He found himself choking back his own tears. Some minutes later, their tears had dried. Tasha started to leave but paused at the door. Looking back at him she said, "Sir, you would make a wonderful father." She left and Picard stared at the closed door. He had an idea, something he could give Tasha that would mean so much to her before she died. He went to work furiously at his terminal.
Will followed Tasha into the turbolift as she left the Captain's ready room. He was off duty and had been waiting for her. As the doors closed, she moved to him and he embraced her. Neither of them spoke. They broke apart before the doors opened, and Will led Tasha to his quarters. She headed for the couch as the doors slid closed behind them, but he took her hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. She opened her mouth to protest but he spoke first. "You need some sleep Tasha." His eyes were soft, concerned. She let him guide her to the bedroom. She sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, covered her face with her hands. Will knelt before her, speaking softly as he took her hands in his, "Hey…" She looked up at him. She saw the love in his eyes and she had to smile. She ran her fingers lightly over his cheek, feeling the slight stubble from a long day. And even though the words weren't enough, she softly said, "Thank you." Will nodded, understanding. Tasha laid down on the bed, on her side, still facing him. He pulled the blanket up over her and gently kissed her cheek. He turned to leave, but she called his name before he could go. "Will." He turned back to her. "Stay with me?" She asked, tears shimmering in her eyes. He answered by taking off his shoes and sliding onto the bed beside her. She turned to face him and he wrapped his arms around her. Held close in his arms, she soon fell to sleep. Will felt her relax, and he closed his eyes, thinking back to when he had first met Tasha.
Will hadn't known what to think of the young Lt when she had greeted him as he beamed aboard the battle section of the Enterprise from Farpoint Station. She had been brief with him, brisk in manners but polite. He had noticed how she was headstrong, always ready to fight. Yet in social settings, she kept to herself. At one such social setting, he watched Tasha hanging at the outskirts of the room, a drink in her hand and loneliness in her eyes. He had asked Deanna about it as they left. Deanna had replied by commenting that he must not have read the confidential part of Tasha's file. He had gone back to his cabin and pulled up her file. Half an hour later he sat stunned at what he had read, unwilling to believe that such a place could exist. He was amazed Tasha had survived being abandoned at 5 yrs old, and survived the rapes and beatings she received as a young girl. He had shivered in disgust reading about the rapes. At that point he understood the loneliness about Tasha, and why she shied away from any physical contact that wasn't training related. And it was that point that he had decided it wanted to do something to bring some happiness to Tasha's life.
He remembered the first time he had gotten Tasha to open up to him. It had been after their weird incident with the Traveler, when they had ended up in some strange dimension where thoughts became real. After having seen the result of Worf thinking about a Klingon pet, Tasha had thought back to the cat she had on her home world. That had resulted in her reliving being chased by a rape gang. Geordi had brought her out of it, but it had shaken her. Will hadn't been on the bridge when it happened, but Deanna had told him once they were back in their dimension. Worried, he had gone to find her. She was in the holodeck, in the midst of five men, fighting for her life. He had checked the program running and noticed it gave Tasha only a 1 chance of winning. He watched for a moment then called to the computer to halt the program. Tasha, on her hands and knees and panting from the exertion, had looked up at him with haunted eyes. "I can never beat them," she had said. "No matter how hard I try." The sadness in her voice had touched him. "Who are they Tasha? Who are you trying to beat?" She had looked away, but answered, "They are the rape gang that caught me when I was 15." Will had stared at her a moment, shocked. Then he walked to her and offered her his hand, saying, "Let me help you defeat them." She had stared up into his eyes, then nodded slightly and took his hand. She reset the program and, together, they defeated the five men. When the last one fell, Tasha had broken down in tears; the emotional impact of winning was huge. Will had held her for the first time then, but it had been only for a few seconds before she had pulled away. It was the start he had been looking for though.