One Last Day with Conrart
By generalquistis
Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou Kara Maou!
oOoOo
"So what are your plans for today?" Adalbert von Grantz inquired with an enthusiastic tone. The person he was talking to, Suzanna Julia von Wincott, just sat still on the marble bench in the garden of Blood Pledge Castle. Adalbert, her fiancé, arrived just 5 minutes ago with plans to go horseback-riding with her in the hills before he leaves for war in the afternoon, but she does not seem to be the least bit interested. She had other things in her mind that had been bothering her for the past few weeks ever since she heard Shinou's voice and then went to the Temple to tell Ulrike all about it.
"I'm afraid, I can't." she said.
Adalbert's smile froze. "But you don't have anything else to do for today! Your meeting with Queen Cecilie is finished, right?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know. She had to leave all of a sudden to go to her brother." She bowed down her head. "War is starting somewhere now." She stated slowly.
Adalbert frowned and looked up at the clear blue skies. "You're right. This afternoon I'll be sent to war too. But I'll be back in a few weeks, so don't worry so much about me. When I return, we shall be married." He said proudly.
She just kept a straight face as she kept still. She was spacing out and she could feel herself getting more uncomfortable by the minute. "Good luck." She just said softly.
He studied her behavior and wondered if she was sick. "Are you alright? You don't seem to be in high spirits today." He said.
She just nodded and got up. "I'm fine. I'm just… reflecting on something. I'll be working as a doctor for the wounded soldiers sometime later; I just want to plan ahead." She told him.
Adalbert was not sure how to react when he heard that. "You're going to be treating wounded soldiers?" he asked. "Isn't that dangerous?" he asked.
She smiled. "They need a healer. I'm one of those capable of doing so, anyway. Gisela will be there with me so don't worry." She explained.
"But what about the danger of someone attacking the area where you are?" he asked, getting annoyed. "Who told you to work as a doctor for the wounded soldiers? I'm going to tell him to not let you work anymore. Can't he tell it's dangerous for a girl like you?" he asked.
Julia frowned slightly. "Adalbert, you worry too much. I'll be alright. Besides, nobody assigned me. I volunteered by myself." She explained in a dignified manner which surprised him.
He was taken aback by what he said but he became worried about her safety. "…Just… be careful." He mumbled before turning away. "You know, that's one thing that I don't like about you; you're too stubborn and persistent." He said frankly.
She just kept quiet.
Adalbert smiled sadly and turned to her again. "I'm sorry. I just… want to keep you safe." He said softly.
She smiled lightly. "I understand, Adalbert." She told him.
They were quiet for a few moments, with Julia not really knowing what else to say to him. It was one of their problems as a couple brought about by an arranged marriage by Adalbert's parents—sometimes, she just has difficulty in communicating with him. Julia was not even sure what prompted her father to agree to the engagement but she did not say a word about it anymore. She just thought that if it would make other people happy, then she should just oblige. But there was something restless in her and the feeling became more intense just only a few days ago when Queen Cecilie was helping her pick out the right cloth for her wedding dress.
"Well I'd better go now and prepare my swords." He said before he moved closer to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll miss you." He said gently.
She did not move. She just bowed down her head. As she was listening to his fading footsteps, that was when she said, "Goodbye, Adalbert." And turned towards the other direction. She began to walk, trying to find her way by walking in a straight path while her hands moved about, trying to feel for any obstacle. She was following the scent of a certain flower planted somewhere in the garden but since she was blind, she had to rely on her sense of smell to detect on where the flowerbed with those flowers are located. Cecilie von Spitzweg, the one who cultivated the flower, told her the name of that flower once, and as she repeated it in her mind, the more she found herself smiling and feeling calm. She could tell she was getting nearer because the scent became more intense. She could sense that it could already be in front of her, so she tried to reach down, but her head bumped slightly against something…
Or someone.
"Oh. I'm sorry." She apologized as she moved away.
"No, it is I that should be apologizing. Were you trying to find your way to something?"
Julia let out a slight gasp and she felt her cheeks getting warmer. She smiled, realizing who that person was because of the smell. "…Is that you, Conrart?" she asked.
Conrart Weller smiled at her. She could not see but appeared to be looking directly into his eyes. "Yes, Julia." He responded.
Julia carefully approached her with her hands reaching towards him until she felt his chest. She groped her way around his chest for a while before she finally felt the object that she was looking for. "You're still wearing it." She said.
He looked down at her and the way she was holding his chest and the pendant that had the crest of the von Wincott family. "I never take it off. I feel much luckier when I'm wearing it." He said.
She smiled. "I'm glad that you're still wearing it, Conrart." She said before taking a step backward, but she was still standing close to him. "You're here. I thought you're leaving for the front lines?" she inquired.
"It has been postponed for tomorrow instead of today. I believe Adalbert's troops are the ones departing this afternoon." He said.
Julia noticed the stiffness in his tone when he mentioned her fiancé's name but she just kept quiet about it. She reached out a hand to him and felt her way to his hand until she was able to touch it. "Promise me you'll be safe in the front lines." She said gently.
Conrart was surprised by her statement but he smiled sadly and held her hand. "I will be safe, Julia; after all, you gave me this pendant as a good luck charm, remember?" he asked.
She chuckled lightly. "Oh yes." She said before turning her head to the side and began to sniff the air again. "It still smells like it's near us. Or maybe it's just you. I believe Queen Cecilie cultivated those flowers based from the smell of the real people whom she had based the names from." She said.
He wondered what she was talking about. "What are you trying to find?" he asked.
She turned her head towards his direction. "Conrad Stands Upon the Earth." She replied.
He turned around and saw that the flowers were still around 5 meters away from them. "They're over there." He said, leading the way for her as he kept a firm yet gentle grip on her hand. Julia followed his lead. "Oh, they're still far from where we were?" she asked in surprise.
"Apparently, yes." He said, chuckling lightly. "Here you go." He announced when they finally reached the flowerbed. He let go of Julia as she carefully knelt down and reached for the flowers, touching them and moving closer to sniff them. She smiled. "Thank you, Conrart." She said.
He just stood there, observing her from behind in silence.
Julia wondered if he was still there. "Conrart?" she asked, her smile fading for a moment.
He jerked slightly. "I… yes, Julia?" he asked uncomfortably.
She sighed in relief and she chuckled. "I thought you left me. Silly me…" she got up and faced him, guessing where he was from where she heard his voice. "I'm sorry. I just… have this fear in me…" she admitted softly.
He looked into her eyes which seem to be staring back at him. "Fear?" he asked. He was surprised that such a seemingly-brave girl like her would have something to fear about.
"Yes. I fear that someday I'll be left alone by those I love… and there will be no one to help me when I'm in trouble." She admitted.
Conrart could easily observe the discomfort on her face. He wished he could just move freely whenever he is around her, but she is engaged to Adalbert and if anyone saw them acting much closer than the way she should be with Adalbert, he might get into trouble. Still, he could not take seeing her looking troubled about something. "Don't worry," he began.
"Huh?" she reacted with a soft tone.
He approached her and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I'll never leave, Julia. I'll always be around just in case you need a helping hand. After all, we're… friends, right?" he asked.
Julia easily heard the way he hesitated on his last sentence and for some reason she could not understand at first, it broke her heart when she heard that. "Friends." She repeated softly. And she smiled lightly. "Yes. You have always been there for me." She decided. And she began to realize something. She reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "Let's go horseback-riding near the woods." She said lightheartedly.
Conrart was surprised with what she said. "Don't you have anything else to do?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Queen Cecilie will understand just in case she gets back immediately from her short trip to your Uncle's castle. Come on! I want to go horseback-riding with you!" she said.
Conrart breathed in as he raised his eyebrows at her. "…alright. I'll just… get my horse." He said before moving away from her.
"I'll go with you." She said, moving close to him again.
Conrart saw the pleased expression on her face and it made him feel as if all his troubles had gone away. "Alright." He said before taking her hand and carefully guided her steps along the way. Never before did Julia feel more secure and comfortable and she wondered where Conrart had been all this time. She began to wonder what it would be like if had known him ever since they were children. "Maybe then things would have turned out to be very different…" she thought sadly as her grip became firmer against his. Last night, at the Wincott Castle, they were together in her room's balcony. She shared to him her thoughts on achieving peace someday among the mazoku and the humans. She was just glad that Conrart was there, but for some reason, she was saddened when they suddenly had to part because he had to go home.
As soon as they got Conrart's horse out of the stables, he helped her up on the horse before he himself mounted behind her. "Hold on tight." He reminded her.
She nodded.
With that, he held the reins and he tapped his foot at the horse's side for it to start moving.
"It's a wonderful day, isn't it?" Julia asked.
He smiled, secretly breathing in the scent coming from her hair along with the cool mid-morning breeze. "It really is." He said. "I'm actually surprised with your decision to go horseback-riding. Are you always this impulsive?" he asked playfully.
She nudged him playfully with her elbow as she laughed. "Not as impulsive as your younger brother Wolfram! Besides, 'Carpe diem', they all say. You are here so I might as well spend the day with you since I don't have anyone else to be with." Her facial expression softened. "But you know something, Conrart?" she began.
"Yes?" he asked.
She smiled solemnly. "Even though I've only known you for less than a week, I feel like I can completely trust you with everything including my life. I haven't felt this way before towards anybody else. It's like… I can give you my soul right now and I'd be assured that you will never lose it." She said while chuckling lightly. Conrart laughed with her. "You're talking nonsense, Julia. I don't need your soul. What am I going to do with it?" he asked.
Her smile faded, realizing where their conversation was going. She just bowed down her head, making sure that Conrart could not sense the sudden sadness in her. "Nothing." She answered softly.
He blinked. "Nothing?" he looked down at her.
"I just… want you to hold on to it and protect it with your life. You'll do that, won't you?" she asked.
Conrart sensed that there was suddenly sadness in her tone, yet at the same time, there was some hope in it. He just smiled. "Yes, I will. Of course. Didn't I tell you that you can always count on me to be there and that I'll never leave you?" he asked gently.
She smiled as she closed her eyes. "Thank you, Conrart." She said. Yet he was wondering why they were suddenly talking about such a thing. Something in him was subtly telling him that something bad was going to happen but he would not want to believe it. At that point, only the present mattered to him—that she was there with him at that moment, although he was wishing that the moment would never end. All he wanted to do was to be with her even though he knows it would be impossible. He does not even know if she feels the same way towards him, but he knew that a lot of people would feel betrayed if he told her the truth.
"Are we there yet?" he asked after a few moments of silence.
Conrart stopped the horse. "Yes." He said, wondering how she knew.
She smiled. "I knew it. I can always identify the smell of the grass in this area." She said. "Let's walk." She suggested.
"Are you sure? The path in the forest is uneven. It might be unsafe for you," he told her.
"Oh Conrart, don't be such a spoilsport! What are you here for? Aren't you supposed to be my protector?" she asked, nudging him playfully again before she herself jumped down from the horse, worrying Conrart.
"Julia!" he exclaimed.
She landed on both her feet but she wobbled for a moment. She giggled. "Now get down from there!" she said with a commanding yet playful tone.
He smiled lightly before dismounting from his horse. He tied a rope attached to his horse securely around a tree so that it would not escape. "Don't do that again, you're making me worry too much about you." He said.
She shrugged as she placed her hands behind her back. "You don't like worrying? Why? You're afraid you're going to get frown lines at a very young age just like Gwendal?" she teased.
He laughed. "How did you know about Gwendal's frown lines?" he asked, since he knows she cannot see.
"Anissina told me. She described that Gwendal had his first frown line when he was only 80!" Julia said. She laughed lightheartedly and Conrart observed the way her eyes seem to dance whenever she would laugh that way. He chuckled lightly as he approached her.
"You know I have always wondered how the people around me would look like, but I can only imagine when I touch their faces… but I don't touch faces anymore ever since I turned 40 because it seems rude." She explained as they began to walk hand-in-hand through the forest's path.
"I think it's excusable because of your condition." He said.
She shook her head. "Sometimes, I don't want people to know that I'm really blind, so as much as possible, I try to act as if I'm normal because I don't want them to pity me just because I can't see." She said. They stopped walking for a moment. She faced him. "You don't pity me, do you?" she inquired with a concerned tone.
He looked at her with a reassuring smile. "No. Of course not. You are not to be pitied at all because you are brave and strong." He told her. "Still, you shouldn't be ashamed of your condition. A lot of people can see clearly but they are more scared of the world than you are." He said encouragingly.
She smiled. "You're too kind, Conrart. You're the first one to have ever said something like that to me. Even my father never explained it to me that way." She breathed in. "That's why I like you very much." She said softly.
Conrart's eyes widened when he heard that, and he also felt his heart jump. He did not know how to react.
Then, Julia pulled her hand from his grasp and reached up to his face. "If you'd let me…" she began to touch his face with her hands. She smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling his cheekbones, tracing the outline of every part of his face, running her fingers along the bridge of his nose and gently stroking his forehead. Conrart closed his eyes just as she placed her hands over his eyes, gently stroking his eyelids. He began to wonder how it would be like to be in her place.
"You're like Prince Charming, I suppose," she spoke up, interrupting his thoughts.
He smiled shyly. "You think so?" he asked as he opened his eyes the moment her fingers left his eyes.
"I love your eyes. I think they are soulful." She told him honestly.
Conrart could feel his cheeks getting warmer especially when she reached his mouth. He began to trace his lips with her fingertips. "You're smiling," she pointed out.
He clenched his jaw. "I am?" he wondered. It was only then that he realized that he was indeed smiling.
Then she touched his hair, running her fingers through his soft brown locks. "Very unusual for a man to have hair as soft as this." She teased.
He just smiled as he observed her quietly.
After a few more moments, she withdrew her hands from his face and took a small step backward. "You're a beautiful person, Conrart." She said. "Both inside and out." She added.
Conrart was quiet, just gazing at her solemnly.
She clasped her hands together. "Is anything wrong? Why are you suddenly quiet?" she asked.
He hesitated for a moment before finally revealing, "I was… just wondering… how it feels like to be blind."
Julia was quiet for a while before replying, "Why don't you try to be blind for a while?"
"Huh?" he looked at her strangely.
"Close your eyes and just… use your other senses to get through your surroundings—your sense of smell, hearing and touch… sometimes, taste if the situation calls for it." She suggested.
Conrart was hesitant for a few moments before smiling and obliging to her suggestion. "Alright." He said as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath.
"And don't open them unless I tell you when." Julia added with a playful tone.
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"
She smirked as she began to quietly take some 10 steps away from Conrart.
"Julia?" he asked, noticing the sudden silence coming from her; and just when he started to worry, she spoke up, but her voice seemed to be a bit far from him. "Come and find me, Conrart!" she called out.
Conrart felt dumbfounded. "Find you? But… but how?" he asked, suddenly feeling helpless.
She giggled. "Silly, Conrart! Follow my voice!" she said.
"Ah. Alright." He replied. He swallowed hard before he began to walk carefully, his hands reaching outward and sideward to feel for any obstacle blocking his way.
Julia was just standing in one area, waiting for him to arrive. She could hear his footsteps slowly approaching her but she just anticipated in silence with a soft smile on his face as she reflected on Conrart and his personality. "Oh Conrart. If only…" she thought sadly as she bowed down her head. She became preoccupied with her thoughts that she did not notice him coming closer to her already. "I gotta hand it over to you, Julia, you must be very good at this. I'm having a hard time here!" he remarked with an impressed tone.
She did not reply. She was still thinking of a lot of things regarding her future… and his future as well.
As for Conrart, he started to smell her scent again that was coming from her hair. He smiled, realizing that he was already near her. He reached for the space before him until he felt his fingertips brush against her shoulders. She was startled when she felt him grasp her shoulders gently but firmly. "Haha. I've found you." He said, although his eyes were still closed.
Julia had a sad smile on her face as tears filled her eyes. With that, she reached for him and embraced him tightly, leaning her head against his hard and strong chest. By doing so, she decided that she will always remember the solace she felt while she was in his arms even in her next life.
Conrart could feel that she was crying and he wondered why, but he just kept quiet. He still kept his eyes closed even as he returned the embrace. In their silence, she knew exactly how he felt for her with the way he held her close to him.
"Why are you crying, Julia?" he asked gently.
She took a deep breath, taking a whiff of his scent along with it. He still smelled like the flower that Queen Cecilie had cultivated and named after him. "I'm happy that you're here with me today, Conrart. Thank you." She said softly.
He just held her still, his lips curving into a bitter pout as his embrace tightened around her.
Julia could not admit it to him but she was crying because she would have to leave him for, how long, she does not know; still, she kept on reassuring herself that they would meet again someday.
"You may open your eyes now." She said with a gentle tone as she moved away from him and wiped her own tears away.
Conrart did not want to open his eyes at first, but he knew he had to because she said so already. She took a deep and long shuddering breath as he finally opened his eyes. He gazed sadly at her but he took her hand and squeezed it gently. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.
She smiled reassuringly at him. "Yep. Let's go somewhere where we can pick some fruit to eat!" she suggested. She was suddenly full of life and happiness again, which eased his worry.
Conrart and Julia spent the rest of the day together in the forest and they only got back to Blood Pledge Castle by late afternoon just before the sun had set completely.
Queen Cecilie had been back from her short trip ever since noontime and she had wondered and became worried on where Julia had gone to, but when she saw that the young girl had been accompanied by one of her beloved sons, she forgot her worries. "Where have you been all day? Anissina and I have been waiting for you!" Queen Cecilie exclaimed as she embraced Julia.
Julia just smiled.
Anissina arrived with a bottle of potion. "I'm sure you're going to need this in your medicine kit, Julia." She turned to Conrart and noticed the way that he was looking at Julia. "Oh hello, Conrart. Where have you been?" she asked casually.
Conrart was surprised by her question and she turned to her with a weak smile on his face. "I escorted Julia to the forest since she needed a companion." He answered before bowing down to excuse himself. "I shall leave now. I have to meet my soldiers for tomorrow." He told them. He took one last look at Julia who was facing him. She had a sad smile on her face as she carefully waved goodbye at him. Conrart approached her and gently took her hand to kiss it. "I'll see you some other time, Julia." He said before finally leaving.
By then, the two other women standing with Julia already could tell that there was something more to Julia and Conrart's relationship. Queen Cecilie, upon realizing this, felt her heart breaking not only for her son but also for Julia.
"I thought you went horseback-riding with Lord von Grantz today. I saw him this morning when he arrived; he was arrogantly telling me that you'd go with him today." Anissina said, subtly expressing her dislike for Adalbert's attitude in her speech.
Julia just kept still. "I… I just can't be with Adalbert today, that's all." She said softly.
Anissina eyed her with a sorry look on her face. She completely understood why Julia spent the day with Conrart instead of Adalbert.
Cecilie looked at Julia sadly. "Oh Julia," was all she could say.
Anissina stared solemnly at Julia as she took a deep breath. She just smiled. "Well, I'm glad you spent the day with Conrart. You two seem to be getting along more than anybody else here anyway. Now come on, let's go back inside and we'll help you pack your medicines." She said.
Julia nodded, but she still appeared to be staring at the direction where Conrart had gone to even though he was already far from her. She smiled softly. "Until we meet again, Conrart…" she thought before facing towards the direction where she last heard Anissina's voice. "Let's go." She said.
With that, Anissina and Cecilie guided her way back inside the Castle in silence. They would keep to themselves what they know, and would just wish for the best to happen while wondering about the fate of those who would fight in the front lines the next day. As for Julia, she finally made her final decision: She would entrust her soul to Conrart to bring to Earth, to the family where the next Maou would be born into. She decided that it was the only way she could make it up to him for not being able to love him freely—at least she should let him know how much she truly trusted him.
oOoOo
-end-
Author's Note: One shot. Written within 3 hours with sentimental heart-breaking songs playing in the background. I wrote this because there are only a few ConradxJulia fics on the worldwide web, and I thought that maybe I should add up to the small collection of those fics. I'm sure in time, it would increase in number. I'll try to write something that isn't sad next time… but I'm so teary-eyed right now so… adieu! Also, thanks to Avril Lavingne's song "When You're Gone" for the inspiration.