THE OC FANFICTION: GoodNight But Not GoodBye
Author's Note: Read/Review? I know that everyone says that but I really want to know if I should continue or whatever. And, of course, the disclaimer- none of this belongs to me. I wish. If I did, Marissa wouldn't have died, she and Ryan would have lived happily ever after and the OC would still be running. So, obviously, the OC and its characters do not belong to me. Thanks. Oh, and btw, the italicized quote at the bottom is not mine. I have no clue whose it is- I found it on the internet, but it's not mine. Read & Review!
I think I'm going to write this..not quite as a one-shot, but not quite as a story. I think it'll be more along the lines of a one-shot...with parts. So here's part one!
PART ONE
"Marissa?" Ryan shook her. "Marissa??" Panicked, he kept trying to wake her up. At this point, he knew that she was gone, but he couldn't stop himself from rocking her body back and forth whispering "No...no..no.." As tears fell down his face slowly.
She was gone. The only girl that Ryan had ever loved was gone. He was devastated. Never again could he look into her gorgous eyes again. He would never see that beautiful smile that first drew him in on his very first night at Newport. He could never again sit in a comfortable silence, just holding her at the lifeguard stand. Their lifeguard stand.
He was heartbroken that they would never have a chance to get back together and work everything out. He knew that they loved each other, but he also knew that he would never get to hold her in his arms again, and that broke his heart.
Soon after, as Ryan processed the accident and all that had happened, analysing every detail, trying to see if there was anything he could have done to save her. Maybe if he had taken another road, Volchok wouldn't have found them. Maybe if he had found a place to pull over, they wouldn't have been pushed off the road. Maybe if they had left five minutes later, he would have missed them. Hundreds of What-If's from their entire relationship swirled around his mind, driving him crazy with regret and guilt. Ryan felt like it was all his fault that she was dead. He blamed himself.
"I don't know what I should do now.
I don't know where I should go.
I'm still here waiting for you.
I'm lost when you're not around.
I need to hold on to you.
I just can't let you go."
When Taylor had asked for the favor of him acting as her lover, Ryan had known that it wasn't a good idea. But he felt bad and before he knew it, his car was steering itself towards the yacht club. He went in and stood there unnoticed for a moment. He closed his eyes and envisioned the angelic face that he had fallen head over heels for, thought of every happy moment that they had ever shared and every romantic kiss that they had experienced, and when he opened his eyes, he didn't see Taylor, he saw his Marissa. Rushing over to her, he kissed her with every ounce of love and passion that he wished he could show to Marissa. But when the lawyer left and he opened his eyes, reality washed over him and it occurred to him that he was holding Taylor Townsend in his arms. Not Marissa. Backing away, he left without a word.
The girl he loved had died in his arms. That he knew. What he didn't know, was how he felt about Taylor Townsend. She had been pursuing him, but he always turned away. His heart belonged to somebody whose own heart no longer beat. But she made him smile. When he went into a brooding mood, she could make him laugh. And as uncertain as he was that he could ever love someone else after Marissa, he needed that. He needed someone who could make him smile. He would never again have Marissa, the girl who could make him smile by doing something as chili fries in her mouth (like a walrus) with Summer. But he needed someone who could make him smile. Even if it wasn't the same smile. Even if it was now the "Broken" smile that Ryan wore. Because he would never again wear the "Everything-Is-Great-With-Marissa-And-I-For-Once Smile." But any smile was better than no smile. Right?
He had been dating Taylor for three months when he realised that he was moving foward with his life, and he needed to move on. So Ryan says "Good Night" to Marissa. Not "Goodbye." Because Ryan is powerless to her. Because Ryan can never say goodbye to Marissa Cooper.
Taylor was never what you would consider 'normal'. She was not popular, she was a bit eccentric, and she had interesting ways of showing affection. But she really liked Ryan. And she knew that he would always love Marissa. Taylor was never normal- only she knew what it was like to come second in your boyfriend's heart- after your dead former rival. Their relationship was constantly haunted bya ghost. No matter how hard he tried to act like he was past it, Taylor knew that he would never be past it. The passionate, made for each other, never dying love that you can only feel for one person? Ryan had that with Marissa. And that's how Taylor felt about Ryan. So she accepted her second place and did everything she could to make him happy and tried not to think about how much happier he would be if Marissa was still alive. No matter how hard she tries to look beautiful, she knows it doesn't matter because Ryan will never think that she's as good as her. But she's accepted this twisted love-triangle because it's the only way she can get Ryan. And scraps of Ryan were better than none.
Author's Note Continued: P.S. I feel stupid about this, but somebody else wrote the "he didn't see taylor, he saw marissa" idea before me. I just thought it was so incredibly perfect and made so much sense that it was the only way that I could think to write it. I am so sorry that I don't know their username to give them credit, but please know that I did not think of that idea and that I would give them more credit if I could find their name. Just thought you guys should know! So please don't get mad or whatever, but after I saw that story, it was the only way I could think of Ryan kissing Taylor that time- imagining Marissa. Thanks! Review Now? Haha. Please!