Macavity filk
Kira's a mystery man, he's called the new world's god
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of the FBI, the Japan police's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Kira's not there!
Kira, Kira, there's no one like Kira
He's broken every human law, the clues couldn't be less clearer
His powers of demolition would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Kira's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again Kira's not there!
Kira's a Japanese man, that we know for sure
You wouldn't know him if you saw him for he's no entrepreneur
His identity is hidden with care; his plans are always seamless
His ways are sneaky and adept; his murders are sacrilegious
He moves his pen from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he's half-asleep, he's always wide-awake
Kira, Kira, there's no one like Kira
He's a fiend in Godlike shape, a monster of horror
You won't meet him in a by-street, you won't see him in the square
For when a crime's discovered then Kira's not there!
He's outwardly respectable; I know he just wants peace
And his fingerprints are not found in any files of the police
And when the rapist's murdered or the serial killer's assailed
Or when the mafia's missing or another robber's been stifled
Or the mob boss's neck is broken and the bone is past repair
There's the wonder of the thing Kira's not there!
Kira, Kira, there's no one like Kira
There never was a man of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has a hiding place and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Kira wasn't there!
And they say that all the criminals whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Adolph Hitler; I might mention Al Capone
Are nothing more than agents for the man who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napoleon of crime!
Kira, Kira, there's no one like Kira
He's a fiend in Godlike shape, a monster of horror
You won't meet him in a by-street, you won't see him in the square
For when a crime's discovered then Kira's
Kira, Kira, Kira
When a crime's discovered then Kira's not there!
Kira's not there!