NOTE: Title from Dougie Maclean's "Caledonia" - because sometimes I just need to display my Scottish pride, okay?
Let me tell you that I love you,
And I think about you all the time,
Caledonia you're calling me and now I'm going home,
But if I should become a stranger,
You know that it would make me more than sad,
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had
"Dada, fly!"
God fucking dammit. He'd tried everything – giving her a toy to play with, feeding her, even trying to get her to go play with Blaine instead, but no. Their two year old daughter was persistent.
It started when Brooke was one year old, really. She was grumpy (like her dada, Blaine often took pleasure in pointing out), and they had tried everything to get her to cheer up.
Toys didn't work. Tickling didn't work. But being thrown in the air by Sebastian? Oh, Brooke loved it. Blaine, of course, was too scared to do it – saying that he didn't trust himself not to drop her (which was ridiculous, really, considering the fact that he was a cheerleader in high school – a fact that Sebastian delighted in bringing up constantly).
"I can't right now baby, dada needs to work." It was true, and it broke his heart, because nothing made Sebastian happier than playing with his baby girl. His report was due in tomorrow though, and his boss was already pissed at him because he'd shown up half an hour late for work earlier that week because his darling daughter had smeared her food all over his work shirt and tie when he'd scooped her up for a goodbye kiss, meaning that he'd had to go find something else to wear and change into it.
"Come on, sweetie, let's go into the living room." Blaine said, appearing at the door of Sebastian's study, hand held out.
Blue eyes darting between her two parents, Brooke deflated, shoulders hunching in defeat, and Sebastian felt a blow to the gut, because he was the one that put that look on her face. He watched his husband scoop up their daughter, sending Sebastian a soft apologetic smile, and carrying her down the hall, closing the door behind them.
He really hated his job, and in an ideal world, he would have quit months ago. But he needed it. It paid well, and without it, well – they'd be out on the street. He could never do that to his family.
The thing was, all reports and paperwork seemed to get handed down to Sebastian. Of course, Sebastian was well aware that this was because he was great at his job, but he resented it, because his boss was just so damn ignorant of his needs.
Oh, never mind that Andy, his 21-year-old co-worker who had the exact same job title and no children at home, was perfectly capable of doing the same thing, meaning that Sebastian's workload could be easily cut in half without disruption to the department.
Never mind that Sebastian never got time to spend with his family anymore, and his daughter was constantly asking questions about why dada never wanted to play with her.
Never mind that he was so tired by the time he was finished, Brooke having been tucked in by Blaine long before he was done, that Sebastian would collapse in bed next to Blaine, his his husband's arms wrapping round his waist as he drifted off to sleep being the only form of human interaction he got nowadays.
No, Sebastian was nothing but a corporate tool. A pencil pusher.
Letting out a resigned sigh, Sebastian hunched back over his desk, throwing himself back into the ever growing pile of paperwork that his boss seemed to decide was meant for Sebastian, and only Sebastian.
Blaine often avoided entering Sebastian's study while he was working, but occasionally, the need presented itself.
"Baby, have you seen Brooke's shoes anywhere? The red ones with the bow?"
Sebastian glanced up from his work, his eyes bloodshot and heavy. Blaine drew in a breath.
"I haven't, B. Sorry."
This had been their life for the past six months, ever since Sebastian had been promoted. Sure, it had been a blessing at first, but Blaine could see the toll it was taking on his husband – the tiredness in his eyes as he returned home from work only to lock himself in his study, the guilt on his face every time Brooke wanted to play with him or asked why he was never around anymore, the tightness of his grip as he held onto Blaine at night, too tired to do anything but sleep.
Sebastian was unhappy, and that wasn't okay.
"Bas, stop. Come into the living room. I'll make you some coffee. Just... sit and relax for a while."
Sebastian sighed heavily, sad eyes meeting Blaine's. "I wish I could, killer. I really do. I just- I have four reports due this week. This one's due tomorrow, and then I have another to be done by Friday, and-"
"This isn't worth it, Sebastian." Blaine said, a slight edge to his voice.
"What the hell do you want me to do, Blaine?" Sebastian snapped, fist slamming down hard on his desk. "I need this fucking job. Do you think I like spending all of my time working?"
Blaine flinched, causing Sebastian's glare to soften, expression full of guilt.
"Shit, I'm sorry, B, I didn't mean-"
"Forget it." Blaine bit out, teeth clenched, because Sebastian might have apologised, but his temper was really starting to take it's toll on Blaine, too.
Sebastian watched Blaine storm from the study, the door closing with a thump which wasn't all that loud, but seemed to ring in his ears for a prolonged period of time anyway.
Blaine was right. This job was tearing his family apart.
Fuck, this job was tearing Sebastian apart.
The Admin department was definitely the most crowded place in the entire building.
Despite being a large open space, the whole room was pretty much full with desks and cubicles, as well as people in white shirts flitting around them constantly, far to busy to stop and talk to anyone.
This company was a fucking joke.
Sebastian had his own office, of course, being one of the senior advisors of the law department, but his boss, Robert Dawson, hadn't been in his office, nor on his own floor, so he found himself scouring the building for the man.
It had taken Sebastian some time to track him down, eventually finding him talking to one of the short skirted secretaries that he was often found harassing.
"Can I speak to you in private, sir?" Sebastian asked his boss.
"Not right now, Smythe. I'm busy."
"It's important."
"Schedule it in with Ashley, then. I think I have an opening this afternoon."
Rubbing his hands over his face roughly in frustration, Sebastian turned without a word, making his way to the fifth floor, which was pretty much only occupied with Mr Dawson's office, and his Personal Assistant's desk.
He made his way over to Ashley, a young blonde woman, early twenties by Sebastian's guess. He supposed she could be considered attractive, if you were into that kind of thing. Slim waist, big breasts, big lips, always dressed in tight clothing... whatever. Straight people were weird.
Like the gentlemen he often liked to pretend he was, Sebastian had always tried to be nice to Ashley. He felt sort of bad for her – the girl was so young, and women in big companies were usually treated like shit in general, so he tried to befriend her.
But one year she had accused Sebastian of hitting on her at the annual company Christmas party after he'd asked her if she knew where the toilets were on the floor they were on – which was actually hilarious, because that was when Blaine had made his way over to introduce himself as Sebastian's husband. Nothing in this world could have wiped the smug smile on Sebastian's face at the sheer embarrassment on Ashley's.
Needless to say, the girl still held a grudge against Sebastian.
"I need to make an appointment with Dawson."
Ashley narrowed her eyes, clearly disgusted with the lack of respect Sebastian was showing.
Frankly, Sebastian couldn't really find it in himself to give a shit.
"He has a free hour on Friday afternoon." Ashley grumbled, tapping her freshly coated lime nails on the desk.
"No, I'm sorry. He said he had an appointment free this afternoon. Could you check again?" He'd seriously had it with this shit. The girl always walked around with her nose turned up, thinking that she was better than everyone else.
He really fucking hated this company. With a blazing passion.
Scowling, she turned back a few pages, scanning over the schedule. "He's in a meeting until three o'clock, but I can schedule you in for four, I suppose."
Why she hadn't bothered to check today's schedule in the first place, Sebastian had no idea.
"Please. Thanks." Sebastian replied shortly.
Ashley didn't reply, so he took that to mean that they were done here. Rolling his eyes, he pushed himself away from the desk, making his way back to the elevator.
The day dragged on in a blur of paperwork and phone calls, and by the time it reached four o'clock, Sebastian was pretty drained. Not that that took much nowadays, anyway.
"I need you to reduce my hours." Sebastian began abruptly, not even bothering to greet his boss as he entered the office.
The fucker didn't even bother to look up from his computer. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I need my hours reduced. And I need the paperwork to be distributed more evenly amongst the staff. I can't do this anymore, sir." He tacked on the formality, realising that he was maybe overstepping a little. Not the best thing to do while asking for a favour, really.
"Not going to happen, Smythe. We need you full time."
"Can't you at least share out the paperwork?" Sebastian sighed, desperate to at least get something to ease the pressure.
"And give it to who? Robertson? Brady? I wouldn't trust those boys to write a memo, never mind a report. No can do, Smythe."
Not even bothering to cover his growl of frustration, Sebastian trailed his fingers through his hair, tugging at the edges, eyes skyward. "I have a family. A two year old daughter who's always wondering why I'm always either at work, or shut up in my study. A husband who's always covering for me, raising our child on his own, and bearing the brunt of my shitty moods. I can't do this anymore."
At that, Robert actually bothered to raise his head, eyes meeting Sebastian's, both men staring one another down, the air crackling with an unspoken challenge.
"Is that a threat, Mr Smythe?" His boss spoke calmly, but the look that he was giving Sebastian spoke an entirely different language.
"You know what? Fuck this. My family comes first. I fucking quit."
At that, Sebastian turned to make his exit.
"Sebastian, wait."
He froze, turning slowly, once again meeting the gaze of his boss.
"What is your family going to do for money? You said you have a two year old – and your husband, does he work? Come on, son. Don't be stupid. You need this job."
It was true. He did. Which is why he said, "And you need me."
With a sigh, Robert folded his hands on his desk. "What is it you want, Sebastian? A pay rise? Another promotion? Will that make you stay?"
Sebastian frowned. "You're not getting it at all, are you? What I want is to be able to leave work at the end of the day, and go home to my family, and actually be able to be with them. What I want is to be a father again – be a husband. Something I haven't been since I got this damn promotion. I want my child to grow up knowing how much I love her, and to be able to muster enough energy to spend time with my husband at the end of the night. I want my life back."
"Would you rather I gave your job to someone else? Took away your senior status, so that you were just an advisor?" Sebastian could tell that his boss meant it as a threat.
"Actually, yes."
At that, Robert sighed and shook his head. "I don't understand you family men at all. But fine. We can't afford to lose you. I still need you full time, but as an advisor your hours will be cut down to forty a week, and we'll delegate the paperwork a bit better so that you're only doing one report a week. Sound good?"
Sebastian had to admit, it did. A report took about five hours total – one a week would mean that he would only need to spend an extra hour in his study each day to work on, and the rest of his time with his family.
"There'll be a pay cut," Robert warned him. "If you agree to this, you have to accept that."
Sebastian grinned widely. "Gladly."
Blaine was feeling a little bit frazzled.
Truth was, he was finding it harder and harder to sleep through the night, especially after an argument with Sebastian. Of course, the one they'd had the previous day was nothing compared to the one the month before when Sebastian had came home from work, telling him that he would have to miss his own daughter's birthday party because his company had an important client in that day, and his boss needed him to stay late.
Sebastian would have fought tooth and nail to get away on time – of that, Blaine had no doubt, but it still caused a deep strain in their relationship.
The worst part about it was that Blaine often felt guilty – because sure, Sebastian was short tempered due to the stress and his job meant that Blaine was pretty much without a husband and Brooke without a father most of the time, but he also knew that it couldn't be helped – they needed the money. Blaine didn't have a job – when they adopted Brooke, it was with the agreement that Blaine would leave his job at the record store, and Sebastian would keep his job at the firm, because he was the highest earner.
It had been fine – worked great for a while, until Sebastian's promotion. Suddenly, Sebastian was never there anymore, and Brooke was becoming more and more distressed.
"Daddy, does dada not want to play with me anymore?" Brooke had asked Blaine earlier that day, causing Blaine's heart to shatter.
He'd sent his daughter a sad smile, kissed her on the cheek, and replied, "No, baby, that's not it at all. Dada loves you very much. He loves you so much that he works hard so that we have money to treat you like you deserve."
"I don't want treats," Brooke replied with a puzzled frown, eyes focused on the tiled flooring. "I want my dada back."
Blaine had to leave the room at that point – he didn't want his daughter to see him cry. Because Blaine wanted Sebastian back too.
So when Sebastian returned home that day from work, a smile playing on his lips, Blaine couldn't help but feel perplexed.
"I got demoted," Sebastian said.
"You got-" Blaine's eyes widened, realisation dawning. "You asked to be demoted?"
Sebastian nodded. "I'm an advisor again."
This caused Blaine to grin wildly, throwing himself at his husband in his elation. Sebastian brought his arms around Blaine, one hand trailing through the back of his hair, nose pressed against Blaine's neck, taking in his sweet scent. "I missed you so much." Sebastian mumbled into his skin.
"Oh, god, Sebastian," Blaine choked, wetness on his face. "I missed you too. You have no idea."
Sebastian framed his face with his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs gently. "B, do not think for one second that I didn't spend my entire time in that office, or in that damn study room, wishing I was here with you and Brooke."
Blaine sniffled, sending his husband a soft smile. "I know, baby. It's just- it's been hard."
He pushed their lips together, connecting them in a soft, gentle kiss.
"Dada! You're home!" A small voice spoke from behind Blaine.
Sebastian broke the kiss, smile lingering against Blaine's lips. With one final peck, Sebastian moved around, taking his daughter into his arms, proceeding to attack her with dotted kisses around her face.
"Ewww, dadaaa, stop!" Brooke giggled.
"Nope, never." Sebastian grinned, crashing onto the couch, his daughter still in his arms.
"Are you going to stay in here with us? Daddy said we were going to watch The Little Mermaid."
"There's nothing I would rather do than spend the entire night with you, baby girl. Even if it's spent watching singing mermaids."
Blaine chuckled, taking the seat next to Sebastian. "You love Disney movies and you know it."
"You got me there, killer." Sebastian winked, drawing his arm around Blaine's shoulders, pulling him in so that all three of them were huddled up on the couch together.
As the movie started, and the small fish managed its escape from Prince Eric's boat into the burst of colour that was the ocean, Sebastian couldn't help but savour the feeling of contentedness that overcame him.
Yes, he had definitely made the right decision.
"Dada, did grandma name you after the talking crab?"
"No, baby. The talking crab was named after dada, as a tribute to his good looks."
"Yeah, they thought that your dada looked like a crab, so they decided to call him Sebastian."
"You're just jealous, killer."