There it was again ebony skin so dark it blended in perfectly with the night. The only sign of its existence was the reflection of its ivory eyes off the moon light. So piercing was the glare Anakin made sure not to stare directly back even as it followed him through the jungle. He knew this place and that stare but couldn't finger it; while the arrival at his first objective took over his mind.

PING

Anakin looked over too see the clone next to him hit the ground.

FUCK

He jumped into a nearby house as a heavy turret opened up on his men. In a split second reaction he reached for his light saber but in his panic it slipped his grasp and slid from his hands. His hands started shaking as the earth shattering sound from the gun rang in his ears and put fear in his heart.

Instead of acting he just sat there scared and alone until the firing stopped. Still regaining his composure he looked outside. It was too late for his men they all lay dead on the road. Instead of giving them orders he saved himself his cowardice killed them all.

Then it hit the voice.

Come on you fucking pussy man up and do your duty.

Chosen one sitting alone scared while he just got twelve men killed what a disgrace.

There's only one way to regain your honor after this you have to kill them all.

No matter whom it was Anakin accepted the last part and grabbed onto his light saber then sneaked out the back door.

Each step quieter than the last as the feeling of the hunt entered his blood. First target the machine gun team.

Their robotic brags could be heard outside; it made his blood boil. Anakin creep into hut behind them activating his light sabers. The first droids legs were taken off before Anakin impaled him and lunged it into another. Sitting clueless and deaf the thirds head was removed.

Immediately he picked up and threw the cut metal around the room

"THOSE WERE MY MEN YOU KILLED YOU FUCKING TOASTERS!"

His rage wasn't yet satisfied.

Just scraps real separatist have to pay for this.

Taking that thought to mind Anakin went looking for the man who commanded them. Soon he found him hiding weapons in a child's toy box

Coward

With a thump the front door went down and Anakin walked to the room.

Inside he sat there on the floor waiting to beg for his life. "PLEASE I HAVE A SON YOU CAN'T KILL ME"

Anakin just spit at the ground and kicked the toy box over revealing a cache of explosives

"You Separatist are fucking sick."

"PLEASE SIR FORGIVE ME MY-"

Anakin ignited his sapphire blade and forced it to his throat. Just as he was about to kill him it appeared again outside the window just looking in at him.

He ignored it breathed in and in one motion removed the man's head.

Suddenly a scream tore through his body as the room feel to pieces around him making everything black. In the darkness he remembered where he was and who was watching him.

It was his first command in the clone wars. When padme decided not to see him again and Obi Wan left he took his first patrol alone determined to show his strength. The moment he removed the insurgents head a boy had screamed from the room behind him. No older than seven and skin dark as night with eyes cast in pure hate. It was those eyes that had forsaken his dreams since and it was those eyes who meet with his again last week.

Then like always when he finally realized it was a dream he woke up drenched in sweat.

I should be done with this shit instead I'm still dwelling on it. The fucks wrong with me.

His hands swept over picking up a picture of chancellor Amidala. Seeing her face went down his throat like a shot of hard liquor burning down to his heart. There it simmered with the image of the boy in a box marked mistakes.

Before putting it down he flipped it over to see some small hand written words.

Thanks for saving the Republic HERO.

He chuckled

I'm sure she meant to write thanks for killing my predecessor giving me the political clout to take over.

As the word hero rang empty in his mind he looked over at Ahsoka who was lost in sleep.

You did it; you kept me sane through it all Ahsoka. You've been a better friend than I've deserved.

He smiled and laid his head back down somehow ready to return to the nightmare of sleep.

Ahsoka lay in her bed having a dream she had been herself repeating.

She sat at a shuttle station as a bright light illuminated the platforms; ticket in hand she sat alone. It was the midnight lovers rendezvous except one was missing.

As the minutes and hours passed she wondered where he was or if something could have happened.

I'm sure he's just a little late he always was.

Another hour passed

What if he's in trouble, Lux you clumsy idiot you better be ok.

Then the station clock said three and she knew he wasn't coming. She remembered never telling Lux her feelings and after the war ended he came back. It was at this station she told him to meet her expecting him to still feel the same way from a year before.

It was at three that night she called him and he explained that he couldn't do it. He had found love in a young human doctor and wouldn't meet her there knowing her intentions.

Ahsoka sulked wishing like every night to go back before three o'clock and in ignorance think someone still loved her or even cared like that.

It was a month to the day she sat at that small café on Coruscant while Lux paraded his lover to her. The look of pure bliss in his eyes crushed her as they discussed how Padme had called for them to advise and govern in her new administration. With matching liberal thoughts and ideals Ahsoka saw how they were meant for each other.

Now Sitting Alone looking at the ceiling self hate and pity came into play

Who would want a used up solider like me anyway. Gently she rubbed over her skin feeling out the scars and burn marks covering them.

Lost in pain and regret the memories of the few times they spent together ran like a movie in her head. This pattern had repeated itself so much the clips were remembered in a worst to best mental montage.

"Lux again"

Ahsoka broke from her trance and looked over at Anakin. Darkness clouded her from making him out across the room but the stench of a cigarette told her he was there.

"Yeah, how many times have woken up tonight?"

Anakin laughed "It's the third time."

Ahsoka could now make out the silhouette of his frown from the orange glow cutting through the blackness. She got up and walked over to him.

"That dream again." She grabbed onto his hand in a supportive gesture.

Anakin smiled and nodded." It is thank you for asking."

"Hey were both alone now so we have to look after each other." Her smile dipped for a second before she forced it back up. "Anyway it's the least I can do; you helped me so much when I was prepared to leave the order."

He looked down for a moment and took a deep breath. Inhaling smoke fused with the pain of another failure. "I should have given you leave so you could she him before the war ended. I owed you that much at least."

Ahsoka squeezed harder on his hand trying to expel the pain onto someone else. "It wouldn't of mattered but thanks for the thought." The tone in her voice said otherwise.

"Well fuck him then if he can't see love when it's prepared to leave the Jedi order for him then he's too stupid for you anyway."

Ahsoka laughed. "Maybe that's why I loved him."

"Don't give me that Snips your eighteen; some new boy will come around sooner than later asking you to run off with him in the night."

"God I'm a foul, I was waiting for him like it was destined to be." She fell over on him crying." How stupid am I?"

Anakin wrapped his hands around her letting her release the pain into him. "It'll be ok you just need more time."

"I can't handle another second of this pain please Anakin do something make it go away."

He rubbed his hand down her back lekku." I'm sorry-"

"No-no excuses just make it stop please. I see his face and I can't stand to see him so happy while I'm miserable."

Anakin grabbed onto her tighter. Her weeping and pleading continued until the sun came out and she became quiet.

Ahsoka pulled herself from his embrace her face drenched and eyes readjusting to the brightness. "I kept you up again."

Anakin laughed while wiping the tears from her face." And I haven't before."

"My pain isn't like yours it's not as…" Ahsoka stopped herself knowing where that conversation leads to.

"Hey why don't you clean yourself off and we can grab breakfast." Anakin managed a smile then picked himself up.

"Sounds nice." She looked down her hand still latched on to his after all those hours." I'm sorry." She quickly let go as he got up for the door.

Anakin just smiled back the light showing off a confident demeanor; Ahsoka knew otherwise. Their late night heart to hearts opened her up to that.

After a quiet breakfast with Ahsoka Anakin started his daily tasks; first stop the chancellor's.

Inside her office the council was assembled around her. Today's topic of discussion like on most was about the rebuilding of the order after its near destruction at the end of the war. Anakin walked in as most of the members gave their closing arguments and the attention turned to him.

"Ah, young sky walker just in time you are."

Anakin nodded before folding into the small group of Jedi still left.

Across town Ahsoka was doing what she did with all her new free time. A pair of binoculars held over her eyes looking down at him.

Screaming wind at her side and speeders overhead couldn't distract her from the building he just entered.

A ring shop?

She jumped down two stories and ran over to the back door. Then pulling out a spike and slicing into the computer camera feed. The video popped into view and showed what she feared he was looking at engagement rings.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised with the way they looked back at each other at the café.

Ahsoka watched until it became too much to bear and left back to the temple.

Anakin waited for her there his morning had been just as bad.

"How was your daily surveillance?"

"Just as fun as seeing your former lover talk to you while ignoring your entire existence at the same time."

Ahsoka immediately regretted the words that came from her mouth. They cut right into Anakin and he was already a shell of a man.

"What's wrong with you?" Anger bubbled up in his words.

"Bad day is all and you."

"Same"

A weak smirk curved onto her face." Well only thing can turn a shitty day like this around."

"Fight it out." Anakin picked up his light saber and headed for the training room. "You know you're about to lose again."

"I beat you once I can do it twice."

He activated his light saber and swung it around his hand. "We then let's see what you got if you're so confident."

Her emerald blades extended and she headed for him

With both blades she came but he struck first knocking one from her hand. She came back by pushing him into the training wall with the force then advancing while he was disarmed. A slap with a training stick knocked her over and Anakin regained control pushing his blade down onto her

"You ready to give up."

With a grin she flipped him over and aimed straight for the side of his head. A Split second later an emerald glow illuminated just inches from his face.

"Come on master you're letting all the praise you've gotten go to your head."

He slapped her into the ceiling and arched himself to rush her falling body.

Ahsoka caught herself and deflected his attack.

"I told you I had this one."

A sick laugh came from both of them as they gathered up strength and rushed into each other again. Ahsoka took the initiative and tripped him launching herself on top of him. Anakin acting defenseless let her spring the trap. Her blade cutting closer to his face as she grinned sensing victory. Then he wrapped his leg around hers flipping her over but keeping the lock in place with his hands.

Anakin got up and signaled for the fight to stop. "What's wrong you're usually so focused?"

She crawled over and sat down on a nearby bench. "I told you it's been a long day"

He just smirked back and pulled out a smoke.

"You know if you keep smoking those you'll end up losing that battle edge you love so much." Ahsoka rubbed off the sweating running down her face.

"Lose my edge and get a one way ticket outta this life-"He chuckled"- I should smoke more."

She ran her fingers over her face and looked back at him." Hold your low self esteem and sack religious battle talk for later I'm not in the mood."

Anakin spit out the cigarette walking over to her. "I beat you to a pulp and you still have an attitude must have been bad news."

She sighed then whispered "He's going to propose to her."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "It was going to happen now all that matters is how you deal with it."

Ahsoka leaned in to get the comfort his embrace offered. "Lux is a good man who is marring a good woman I'm just worried I'll never find anyone for me."

"Come on were all scared about being alone especially after the purge."

She moved her eyes up to meet with his." You never told me what happened that night. Master Shaak says Obi Wan blames you for it."

Anakin nodded and looked away

"It must have been horrible only a handful of the younglings made it. I heard the rest was a-

"Slaughter" he gazed right back at her. "You can't dignify it with any other word except SLAUGHTER." He didn't stay around for her response instead he left.

Later Ahsoka snuck into their room hoping to find him in between nightmares.

"Anakin"

Her nimble feat silently inched closer to his sleeping body.

"Anakin wake up "

"What dammit I was actually having a half decent dream."

"We need to talk."

I have several ideas of where I want to go with this story. If you have any interest in my continuing it or criticism please read and review.