Izzie was looking at the hospital. She hadn't moved a spot sense this morning. She had just been standing there. She hadn't even tried to make her self move. Because she knew her self. If Izzie Stevens had decided to do something, she did it. And she hadn't decided to go in and talk to the chief. She had decided to stay out here, looking at the building of the work she had been at for so many hours these past months. It felt a little weird, not being there. It had become her lifestyle.

Waking up from the clock alarm and hurry to take a shower before Meredith had time to do it. Meredith always took all the warm water. Then eating a small fast breakfast, before running to work with a coffee cup in your hand. Yeah well, if you didn't have time to drink it at home… Coming to work and hear Cristina and Alex nag about something totally stupid. Say hi to George and change into your scrubs. Then Bailey came in and you started to work…

A cold wind interrupted her thoughts. She closed her eyes for a moment and then she opened them again. She had hoped that when she opened them, she was gonna see the hospital like she used to see it. Before she had met Denny.. But it didn't work. The hospital still looked big and cold. Not welcoming at all. Because now all the hospital did was reminding her of deaf. Of her lost… Of the man she loved. She felt like you feel when you wanna cry, but she didn't cried. She had stopped crying. She was scared of starting to cry.. Scared of not being able to stop… Damn it hurt! It hurt like hell in her whole body…

In the corner of her eye she saw the big doors open and a man dressed in dark clothes walking out. She didn't take her eyes from the hospital, but she felt the person come closer. She didn't even have to look at him to know who it was. She felt him standing next to her, felt the warmth from him to her side.

"Iz…" His voice was dark, comforting. It was almost only him who called her that. She had told him that she thought it was a little weird, that he found a nickname in her nickname, but he had said that he didn't see Izzie as her nickname. And that was good. Isobel wasn't anything she wanted people to call her. It was a stupid name…

"I'll do it…" Her voice was a little dark and tired, and she suddenly felt how tired she really was. And was that weird? After standing on the same spot starring at the same freaking building all day? She felt the warmth of a jacket to her left shoulder, then to her back. "Izzie…" Izzie heard the doubt in his voice. And she understood him. But she didn't like that he could read her like a book. That made her feel even weaker. So she kept looking at the hospital. "I can do it Alex…." While she talked she heard her own shaky voice. She hadn't really thought about how cold she was until now. Alex seemed to hear it too because he wrapped his jacket tighter around her from the front.

"…I know I can…" She felt Alex hand soft against her back. It felt good, that she wasn't alone in the dark anymore. The jacket started to warm her up, but it was Alex too. Having a friend there made her feel warmer inside. Even though she knew that she had sound bitchy, Alex just sighed and she felt him looking at the hospital with her.

"Does it hurt?" The question made Izzie looked down with a deep sigh. He was the first person who had really asked a question like that. The others took it like of course it hurt! They had never truly asked her. She felt Alex glaze on her and she nodded slightly, and her voice was almost a whisper. "Yeah…"

She looked at the ground and then she glazed at Alex for the first time. He looked at the hospital. Izzie fallowed his glaze. "Where does it hurt?" The question made Izzie a little surprised. She actually didn't know where it hurt, just that it did. She thought about it for a few seconds, Alex turned and looked at her. Izzie looked up and met his warm brown eyes. They had a glow of caring, that she hardly never seen in his eyes before.

She felt Alex wrapping the jacket a little tighter around her and she looked away from him to a spot next to him, shaking her head. "Everywhere…" She looked up at the hospital. Everywhere.. Yeah that was pretty much the best answer she could give him. She glazed a little at Alex again, and he looked a little at her, before he looked at the hospital and then back at her. "Maybe it hurts for a reason…"

Izzie looked at him. She knew what he meant. That it was supposed to hurt, and that she would just have to let it, so she could go back to her life.. But how was she supposed to do that? How was she supposed to accept the fact that her fiancé was dead… How was she gonna go back to working at the hospital if she couldn't even go inside.

But Alex gave her a comforting glaze, she felt him stroke her back sweetly. She looked a little up, feeling scared. What was gonna happened now?… Did she really have her old life left..? Alex soft voice woke her up from her thoughts. "Come on… Lets go.." He softly started to lead her away from the hospital, and they turned away and stared to walk. Izzie let Alex hold his jacket around her while he leaded her to his car to drive her home…