Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.
AN: I know people have done this instant messaging idea many times before, but I wanted to do one of my own.... So there. I wrote it because I was bored, so even if it's vaguely entertaining then I will be happy. It's intended to be a one-shot but I won't mark it as complete in case I change my mind later and want to add more chapters. Just in case you aren't familiar with IMing in the UK (which is where I live), a nudge is something you can send to your friend if they aren't responding... It judders the screen and makes a noise. Anywho; enjoy and review. I wanna know if it's any good!
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TheKing logged on.
Mommy logged on.
DaddysLittleGirl logged on
TheDoppelgangers logged on
TheOneWhoNeverTalks logged on
CakeLuvr logged on.
Mommy: What is this Tamaki? Why are we reverting to common, undignified messaging as out-of-school communication between the hosts?
TheKing: Why Kyoya! As a person who understands the benefit in everything, I would have thought it would be pretty obvious to you. By experiencing this quick, easy and FREE method of communication we are becoming more in touch with the way the common people live, whilst making Haruhi feel more comfortable! Isn't that wonderful!
DaddysLittleGirl: You know... I don't appreciate being constantly referred to as a commoner. You rich people should really learn some manners.
TheKing: *cries* I'm sorry Haruhi! We didn't mean to be insensitive towards you! IT'S HOW WE'VE BEEN BROUGHT UP... I'M SOORRRY HARUHI!
DaddysLittleGirl: Eh, calm down senpai. No need to make lots of fuss. It doesn't bother me that much...
TheDoppelgangers: The boss overplays everything... Even his phony wooing techniques in the club...
TheKing: Waddaya mean PHONY!
CakeLuvr: Tama-chan, you don't need to shout on the computer. Only in real life *cute giggle*
TheOneWhoNeverTalks: Hm
Mommy: Hunny-senpai means that you don't need to constantly use capitals...
TheKing sent a nudge.
TheDoppelgangers: Boss! Don't send nudges... It screws the screen up.
DaddysLittleGirl: Isn't that the point...
TheKing: WOAH! The screen went all wobbly.
DaddysLittleGirl: That's because yousent a nudge!
TheKing: I sent a what?
Mommy: Sorry to interrupt this thrilling conversation, but we are overlooking something. Tamaki, why have you chosen our screen-names? Can't we pick our own?
DaddysLittleGirl: Yeah, I hate mine senpai. No offense.
TheDoppelgangers: And what is with Mori-senpai's screen name? TheOneWhoNeverTalks...That's seriously lacking in the imagination department.
TheKing: I apologise that my usual gushing flow of creativity deserted me at three in the morning. If you hate your names that much then I suppose I'll let you change them.
Mommy changed their name to TheThirdSon
DaddysLittleGirl changed their name to ProudHonourStudent
TheDoppelgangers changed their name to DoubleTrouble
TheOneWhoNeverTalks changed their name to Mori
CakeLuvr changed their name to CakeLuvr
TheKing: What's all this about ME not having any creativity!! Hikaru and Kaoru... Is it even possible to think of a more cliché collective twin name!! Mori-senpai has just called himself by his given name and Hunny-senpai hasn't even bothered to change his!! WHERE IS YOUR IMAGINATION PEOPLE!
CakeLuvr: I didn't need to change mine because that is what I would have picked anyway! You're, like, a psychic Tama-chan!
Mori: Mori is my real name so I saw no reason why it wouldn't be suitable to be called Mori online too.
TheKing: .....
TheThirdSon: .....
CakeLuvr: .....
DoubleTrouble: .....
ProudHonourStudent: .....
DoubleTrouble: Role reversal...
TheKing sent a nudge
DoubleTrouble: Tamaki!! Stop it!
TheKing: Stop what? Quit fooling around you two! Hey guys, I think I'm going to need to get my computer fixed... The screen keeps moving... It's very distracting.
TheThirdSon: Moron...
ProudHonourStudent: *sighs* Tamaki-senpai, you know the box where you type your messages?
TheKing: Yeah...
ProudHonourStudent: Well there should be a little row of buttons above it. One of them has like a yellow face with blue lines around it to symbolise annoyance. You see it?
TheKing: Yeah...
ProudHonourStudent: *in slow, clear voice* Have you pressed that button?
TheKing: Well, I don't know Haruhi... I press a lot of buttons. *wink*
ProudHonourStudent: Eh, save it for the club senpai...
DoubleTrouble: Answer her question boss!!
TheKing: I may have done by accident.
CakeLuvr: What I think they are all trying to say to you is that you should try not to press it. Kay?
TheKing: I'll try and remember...
TheThirdSon: Oh, joy. That means he will forget in 10 minutes. By the way everyone... I need to talk to you about Host Club funds... We are running rather low as of late, and I was wondering if any of you had any new ideas on how we can boost our finances.
CakeLuvr: I know!!! We can have a cake sale! I hear they are really popular amongst not-as-rich people.
ProudHonourStudent: Nice try at being politically correct, Hunny-senpai.
TheKing: Why didn't I think to be more considerate to you!!! I'M SORRY HARUHI... I'LL TRY AND BE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT IN FUTURE...
ProudHonourStudent: Don't start all that again...
TheThirdSon: The only issue I have with that idea is that, due to the fact that most of us have private cooks, would any of us even know how to make cakes?
ProudHonourStudent: The only issue I have with it is that Hunny-senpai would probably eat all the stock before it went on sale.
TheKing: Why don't we just buy the cakes and have them delivered, like we do for club snacks?
TheThirdSon: That would defeat the purpose of boosting finances.
TheKing: Oh...
DoubleTrouble: Doesn't Haruhi know how to make cake?
ProudHonourStudent: We don't really eat cake in our house...
TheThirdSon: Nice try Hunny-senpai, but I think this is a doomed idea. Anyone else?
ProudHonourStudent: Yeah. Instead of paying lots of money to hire out cosplay outfits, why don't we just buy materials at craft shops and make it ourselves. Or we could just get some fancy-dress clothing from a discount store. It would be a lot cheaper.
TheThirdSon: .....
DoubleTrouble: You want the Host Club to wear commoner's rags?
ProudHonourStudent: Never mind...
TheKing: I have an idea! Why don't we print of all our magazines on recycled paper! I hear that there is a small company in the country of Wales that makes paper out of sheep-droppings, (AN: This is true by the way!) and it's very ecologically-friendly!
DoubleTrouble: ... You want our magazines to be made out of animal turds?
TheThirdSon: Tamaki... What has printing on recycled paper got to do with increasing club funds?
TheKing: I'm not sure...
TheThirdSon: Next!
DoubleTrouble: Perhaps we should finally do what the ladies want... It would certainly generate a lot of money... Everyone would pay to see it...
CakeLuvr: Pay to see what?
DoubleTrouble: The Host Club should branch out and throw a strip-show. Think of all the entrance fees!
TheKing: What!!! You want to blemish our Clubs reputation and turn it into some kind of mass-orgy!! Who do you think you are!!!!!
ProudHonourStudent: Tamaki; calm down. Hikaru & Kaoru; no way... I'd rather have my picture printed on sheep-poop. Mori; what's your idea?
Mori: .....
DoubleTrouble: Sponsored silence?
TheThirdSon: Are there any more ridiculous suggestions? My patience is weakening. Honestly, you're all hopeless. Just leave it to me; as usual.
TheKing sent a nudge
DoubleTrouble: TAMAKI-SENPAI!!!
TheKing: Ooops... Sorry.
CakeLuvr sent a nudge
CakeLuvr: Nudge war!!!
TheKing sent a nudge
DoubleTrouble sent a nudge
CakeLuvr sent a nudge
ProudHonourStudent sent a nudge
TheKing sent a nudge
Mori sent a nudge
DoubleTrouble sent a nudge
TheThirdSon signed off
CakeLuvr sent a nudge
DoubleTrouble sent a nudge
TheKing: Hey guys! Kyoya signed off without saying goodbye! *sniff*
ProudHonourStudent: I think he was fed up with all the screen-shaking and our immature behaviour. Anyway guys, I'm going to go sleep now. See you at school tomorrow. Bye.
ProudHonourStudent signed off
DoubleTrouble: We will join you
TheKing: WHAT! YOU PERVERTS!
DoubleTrouble: Not like that! We don't live anywhere near Haruhi. Don't overreact. Anyways, bye everyone.
DoubleTrouble signed off
TheKing: Well I suppose I need to get my beauty sleep... Must keep the ladies happy. Goodnight!
TheKing signed off
CakeLuvr: Goodnight Takashi!
Mori: Night.
CakeLuvr signed off
Mori signed off
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So, any good? Please review!