AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi, this is my first fan fiction! Personally, I believe that this story borders the Teen- Mature rating barrier so I played it safe and put it in the M category. I hope you all enjoy the story!
Recollections of a Regretful Red Head
I looked down at her from heaven. Hell, I looked down at all of them. They all looked so lost and scared. Flabbergasted, by my death. They had all known it might one day come. They had seen the marks on my wrists where I had before tried to end my life. Well, now they were looking at the velvet red matter sputtered from my bony wrists, where I had engraved mine and Candy's names while Nurse Ratched had me quarantined with only my despair. Mother couldn't know about this for if she did it would surely kill her. She didn't know how pure Candy was. People would deem me rightfully placed in here if they had heard my reasoning for loving her, a whore. But as I looked down at her and all the others, I knew. I knew my life had meant something.
I remember that night like it was yesterday, in fact it was. I have finally escaped that mental asylum. In my own way. Anyway, back to that night. I remember Mac trying to get me to do anything to show Candy that I was interested. He like everyone else knew of my affection for her. It was obvious and common knowledge, I assumed. I stuttered more than ever when she was around and the men of the ward constantly goaded me over my love for her. They did it all in jest though, they too knew she was a good person, at heart, and we all loved her for it. I still remember that day we met her. She looked like an angel. It was a sunny day and she seemed to beam with happiness, with freedom. I wanted to be with her so badly. She looked so kind. I remember the boat ride. She was with Mac, it was the first time I had been jealous in years. The ward had seemed to drain all of my emotions. I wanted to talk with her. I remember that there was not enough life jackets. So I gave her mine. I knew she needed someone, someone to protect her from the dangers of the world. She smiled at me as I clasped her life jacket. I couldn't help but admire her ivory breasts poking out of her form fitting shirt. I wanted her and not just for her physicality, but for her who she was. She seemed so happy. I hadn't been happy in years. I remember Mac making sure I could sit next to her on the ride home. It was the best ride of my life. He arranged for Candy and I to meet again soon. That was one of the first times anyone seemed to actually care about the stuttering shell of a man that I was. Mac had a way with people, he made them feel important, he did things for us that changed our lives.
I was so nervous about Candy's arrival that night. I paced the room probably a million times before it was time for the lights to be turned off and then I lay in bed struggling to stop twitching. I was filled with anticipation. We heard a clatter at the window. It was her! I thought, I smiled. It was like her presence instantly was known. The whole room seemed to brighten in its dimness. The other men saw her companion, I think her name was Sandy or something, but I only had eyes for her. My Candy. My Sugar High. Mac put on the records and took the booze from the ladies. We partied that whole night. It was the best and last night of my life. Candy and I danced for what seemed to be forever. My hands touching her hips and hers embracing my neck.
She was so warm. Her skin so soft. I kissed her shoulder lightly and she smiled. We talked and laughed telling stories from our youth and of our crazy adventure where we had met. I told her of how I had wished to defend her against those men at the dock and she told me it's the thought that counts. I was a good man, she said, a good man.
Mac told Candy I wanted to be with her, intimately. All the men gathered around and teased me about the upcoming loss of my virginity. I couldn't help but redden with all the attention, but I knew it was all in jest. I beamed. She awaited me in the solitude room and seemed to glow when I entered the room. The room was quite drab and scary. It reminded me of my past experiences there. She saw my grimace and immediately came to me. She put her arms around me and asked what was wrong. I told her. She said that I would never have to worry about any of that ever again. She was right. She took me to the mattress that lay on the floor and brought me down with her. She unbuttoned my shirt and put it under both of us so we could be more comfortable. I unbuttoned her blouse, slowly. My hands were shaking. She lightly touched my hand and told me not to be nervous. She reassured me. Her bosom seemed to pop out of the shirt after the first button was released from its confinement. I stared for what seemed like hours and she chuckled and asked if I'd like to look at them all night. I chuckled sheepishly and finished unbuttoning her blouse as she unclasped her ebony bra. We sat there awhile. Just admiring each others' physiques. I felt comfortable in her presence. She placed my hand on her creamy breast. My hand stayed there for awhile as I caressed her long blonde hair with my other hand. The ringlets were so soft. I began to kiss her. Her shoulders, her arms, her belly, everything and she kissed me softly, gently. It was so innocent and she confessed to me that this was the first time she had ever loved someone. This was for real. We began to get more passionate by the second. Her skirt was thrown to the floor along with her panties. My pants and boxers were strewn there also. We were naked, body and soul. We embraced on the bed for what seemed like hours. We were content. I entered her. We were one.
The next morning I was awakened to the abrupt noise of the door being smashed open. Nurse Ratched was hovering over us. I panicked and tried to dress myself quickly. I didn't want her to see my manhood, that was only for my dear Candy. Candy grabbed the covers and wrapped them around her naked body. She was scared. I was terrified. We saw the men peering at us. I was instantly angry. Why didn't they tell us that it was morning? Why were they chuckling at this sight? I smiled sheepishly. Yes guys, I did have sex with Candy. But it wasn't just that! I wanted to scream. We connected on a physical and mental level. I love her. But then I looked at Ratched again. My stutter came back faster than ever. "N-n-n-n-n-no!" I pleaded. Don't take her away. Don't take me away. She threatened to tell my mother. My courage was gone. I couldn't disappoint her, she would surely die. They broke Candy and I apart and I could tell she was about to cry. I was losing it. I screamed, I cried out, I was dying. They took me to Doc's office. My metaphorical coffin. I searched his drawers in a panic. I couldn't be without her. There was no way I could ever be with her again in this life. With these confinements. With this mental ward. And my mother. My mother! Surely, I would be punished. Maybe even lobotomized for my insubordination. I cried more frantically. My tears blurred my vision. As I searched. The door knob began to turn. A fragment of glass found my hand. I scraped my wrists with her initials and mine. And I died with her as the last image in my mind.
I looked down at her from heaven. She looked so lost. Disheveled. Her mascara was drenched upon her face. Her golden curls were knotted. I saw her as she cut her wrists the same way I did. Once again we were one.
AN:
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