So, you think you know the story of Snow White. Well if you think all the dwarfs were happy, you may be right. BUT if you think Snow White was happy, boy are you messed up. Before I get ahead of myself, let me ask you this. Does "and they lived happily ever after" mean they live "happily ever after" right then? If you said yes, this story, a TRUE story, is about to prove you wrong. What happened RIGHT after the prince kissed Snow White and rode off? Come closer and I will tell you, you're not close enough. COME CLOSER! Can't you see me beckoning you? Come closer, closer.good. Now don't move an inch, it might ruin your concentration. **************************************************** The Prince helped Snow White out of her glass coffin and told her how much he loved her. When he asked her to be his wife Snow White said: "Sure, why not?" The Prince, looking surprised, jumped on his horse and held out his hand to Snow White. Snow White rolled her eyes. "I don't need help, dufus." Snow White laughed. Snow White jumped on the horse, and slid right off. So she tried again, but she slid off. "Move, I can't ride bare back!" Snow White huffed. "Well, sorry, I'll move." the Prince sighed. The Prince jumped off the saddle and offered to help Snow White get on. Snow White stuck up her nose and jumped on the saddle. The Prince jumped on and the horse started to gallop. A few minutes into the trip they were already arguing. "For the last time, stop calling me Snow White! I have a real name! Please use it!" Snow White screamed. "Fine, tell me it so I can use it!" the Prince yelled back. "It's Kelly, now use it or else!" ' Snow White said. "Or else what SNOW WHITE?" the Prince laughed. Kelly, filled with anger, pushed the Prince off the horse and sped the horse up. Kelly didn't look back at the Prince sprawled on the ground. "I hope he broke something." Kelly mumbled to herself. ""I am so sick of having my own fairytale! I always have to be perfect and I can't use my own name, and all the bad things happen before the good, I mean, look at my fairytale, I almost died! I am going to find a new fairytale were I can't get hurt. How about Cinderella? I heard Tiffany was looking for different stepsisters." So Kelly turned on another road and rode to Tiffany's palace. A diamond covered palace came into view. As Kelly got closer to the golden gates a guard stopped her horse. "Do you have an appointment?" the guard asked. "No.but I heard Tiffany was looking for new stepsisters." Kelly told the guard. "Oh yes, one moment please." The guard mumbled. The gates slowly opened and Kelly rode in the gates on a ruby plated path. Kelly jumped off the horse and gave the reins to the stable hand. Kelly grasped the brass knocker on the giant sapphire speckled door and knocked. Tiffany answered the door. "Why hello Snow! How are you- come in!" Tiffany said, grabbing Kelly's arm and dragging her in. "So I see you are doing very well now-a-days!" Kelly exclaimed. "I suppose.you know, I was thinking of opening a diamond shop in New York, wouldn't that be simply wonderful!?" Tiffany said in a snotty voice. "In the US? It might work.what would you call it?" Kelly asked. "Tiffany's." Tiffany answered promptly. "Oh how un-selfish. I'm here to answer your ad." Kelly said changing the subject. "Which one? Do you have a prince for me?" Tiffany asked anxiously. "No.although I might be able to help you with that one.I'm here for the stepsister." Kelly laughed. Tiffany looked at Kelly and grabbed a purse off a nearby table. She dug in her purse awhile until she found a tape measure. She measured Kelly's waist, neck, arms, and she even measured Kelly's head. Then Tiffany went back to her purse and took out a little slip of paper. "These are some questions I would like you to answer. Ok, first one. If I were to want to go to a ball and ruin your chance to marry the prince and be better than me, would you let me go?" Tiffany asked, reading off the little slip. "NO! That would be stupid of me to let you go!!" Kelly burst out. Kelly covered her mouth. "Ok.if I were to interrupt your singing lesson would you be mad at me?" Tiffany asked. "Yes! Of course!" Kelly answered, she thought it would be very rude if anyone interrupted her singing lesson. "Ok. That's it. I have to tell you that you did very well. You are mean enough! Except, you are too pretty to be my stepsister. But, if you let me put some make-up on that white face of yours you might do." Tiffany said reaching for the purse. "No way am I letting you put make-up on my perfect face! Oh, here is the number of the prince.although he has fallen off a horse recently.I have to go. Please do not contact me about the stepsister thing.I do not want to do it." Kelly said. Then she got up and left Tiffany to her gems. As Kelly rode down a country road she thought of another fairy tale. "How about the frog prince? That is a good fairy tale- I'll go there." Kelly said to herself. "To the millpond!!" Kelly put the horse in full gallop. When they reached the pond there was a girl running away from the pond screaming. Kelly shrugged her shoulders and jumped off the horse. "Are you here to make me the frog prince?" a raspy voice asked. "I guess so.where are you?" Kelly answered. "In front of you." the voice said. Kelly looked down. There was a frog sitting on her brand new shoes. "EW!" Kelly screamed as she flung the frog off her shoe. "Sorry." The frog said. "What do I have to do?" Kelly asked. "Kiss me." The frog said puckering his lips. "EW! No way! Isn't there another way?" Kelly asked. "Why yes, there is.MOM!" the frog screamed. A skinny mean-looking lady came out from behind a bush. "Take her away!" the frog said. "With pleasure!" the woman said cracking her knuckles. Kelly tried to run but the woman had a rope tied around her already. "Why are you doing this?" Kelly yelled. "You are being locked up until you will free my son!!" the woman yelled back, dragging Kelly down a path. "That's not a good reason!!" Kelly screamed. "Oh shush yourself up, will you!" the woman snapped. They came to a very tall tower that was surrounded by a tall wire fence. It had one window on the very top, and no doors. "Um, I have a question. If you are going to lock me up in that tower, how are you going to get me in it?" Kelly asked. "You will never know! Ha ha ha ha!" the woman laughed and tied a blindfold over Kelly's eyes. When the blindfold was removed from Kelly's eyes she was all alone in a tiny room. Kelly looked around the room. On a wooden chair was a long dress and hair ribbons. In another corner was a huge sack of flour, a couple of chickens, and yeast next to an oven. Kelly tripped over a kitten as she was walking across the room. She knew the kitten wasn't there to keep her company but to control the mice. There was only one window in the room that had stained yellow curtains. "Well, apparently they want me to live for awhile, hey, isn't that a door over there." Kelly said, pointing to what looked like a doorknob coming out of a wall. Of course, there was a door. Kelly grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. There was a stone stair case leading downward. Kelly walked down the stairs hoping to find a way out. There were cobwebs all over the place and it got darker as she went down. Kelly could hear water slowly dripping in what sounded like a puddle. Kelly came to another door, but this door was a stone door and was covered in cobwebs. Kelly turned the doorknob. The door wouldn't open. Kelly rammed against the door. This time a spider fell from its web onto Kelly's back, and being shocked from falling the spider sunk its fangs into Kelly's neck. "Youch!" Kelly squealed and slapped her back. The spider bit her again. Its venom went through Kelly's bloodstream. Kelly began to feel tired and fainted in front of the door. The spider's venom wasn't extremely poisonous, it couldn't kill anyone, but it could knock people out for days. Kelly woke up three days later on a pile of straw in the room with the window. The cat was at the foot of the bed curled into a little ball fast asleep. "How did I get here?" Kelly asked herself. Her stomach growled. Kelly looked at the flour. She could make some bread! She looked for some eggs the chickens may have laid; she found two eggs in the bag of flour. She carefully mixed all the ingredients together in a bowl she found laying near the cat and put the mixture into the oven and started a fire with some straw and sticks from the pile she had been laying on. As years passed flour and chickens would magically reappear every month, and the cat would just sit and grow fat off the many mice which would run all over the room. Kelly had finally gotten the big stone door at the foot of the stairs open and discovered a well so she could have water. Kelly had had to change into the other dress that she had found on the chair because the other one had ripped one day. She also had to use the hair ribbons to tie her hair up because it was five times as long as she was. One day when Kelly was sitting daydreaming about days before in front of the window, a man on a horse rode by. He stopped in front of the tower and began to shout. Kelly couldn't understand what he was saying. "What are you saying?!" Kelly shouted to the man. "RAPUNZEL, RAPUNZEL, LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" the man shouted. "I'M NOT RAPUNZEL, YOU DUFUS!" Kelly screamed. "JUST LET DOWN YOUR LONG HAIR!!!" the man shouted. Kelly grabbed her long curls and threw them out the window. The man grabbed them and began to climb up her hair like a rope. "OUCH! What are you doing you crazy fool?!" Kelly shouted to the man. The man reached the window and crawled in. "I'm saving you!" the man said proudly. "Yeah, that's nice, gimme your sword." Kelly said holding out her hands. "If you say so." the man said looking confused. He handed Kelly his sword from his belt. "Thanks, do you have a name?" Kelly said grabbing the sword. With one swift movement Kelly had cut her hair off so her hair was shoulder length. "Um, Prince Charming." said the man looking puzzled. "Oh how charming." Kelly grumbled. She took one end of the hair that she had cut off and tied it to one of the legs of her oven. "Well, I have to go, so bye!" Kelly said, and then she grabbed the cat, took the other end of her hair and jumped out the window. When she reached the ground Kelly burst out laughing and put the cat on the ground. The horse was slightly shocked, but was still as Kelly jumped on its back. She put it into a gallop and went down the nearest road. Kelly had no clue where it lead to, but she was going to find out. Kelly came to a village with very small houses and giant mushrooms made into houses. "Is anyone here?" Kelly shouted. Little people stuck their heads out of their houses and giant flowers opened and little people were inside them. "Who are you?" squeaked one of the little people. "Where are you from?" squeaked another. "I'm Kelly, from the fairy tale of Snow White. Who are you people?" Kelly answered. "We are munchkins!" a munchkin from inside a flower squeaked. "What is this place?" Kelly asked. "Munchkin Land!" a couple of munchkins squeaked. "We welcome you to Munchkin Land!" more munchkins squeaked. "Is this the road out?" Kelly asked. She was getting freaked out. "Yes it is!!" one munchkin squealed. "Follow the yellow brick road!" one group sang. "Follow the yellow brick road!" another group sang "Follow the yellow brick road!" squeaked the biggest munchkin. "I get the point!! Thanks. Now, leave me alone and don't follow me!!!" Kelly yelled. She made the horse start to move down the yellow brick road. As Kelly was leaving the munchkins started to chant 'Follow the yellow brick road' over and over again. After Kelly had gone down the road awhile the chanting became harder to hear and Kelly enjoyed the peace and quiet. After a few miles the yellow brick road ended and a normal dirt road began. Kelly thought she recognized the forest that was coming up on the trail. As she got closer she realized it was the forest where the dwarfs used to live. Kelly hoped the house would be empty so she could stay there awhile. She turned off the road and found the dwarfs cabin hidden in the trees. It looked empty so Kelly tied the horse to a tree and walked to the door. The door wasn't locked so Kelly walked into the little cabin. All the dwarfs' things were there but Kelly could tell they hadn't been in the cabin for a long time. Kelly lived in the cabin for many years and the dwarfs never came back. One day a woodcutter came seeking shelter from the rain and he and Kelly fell in love. They got married and moved out of Fairy Tale Land into the normal world. As for the Prince Kelly almost married, he became Tiffany's husband. They moved to New York and started a diamond store called Tiffany's. It was and still is very successful. The frog prince finally got someone to kiss him and the munchkins actually helped someone find what they were looking for without freaking them out first. Some nice person found the man stuck in the tower and told him to climb down the rope of hair (which he couldn't figure out before that person came). The cat that Kelly had set free from the tower got its own fairy tale 'Puss in Boots' which everyone loved more than 'Rapunzel'. The story of 'Snow White' became one of the first successful movies Walt Disney ever made (no thanks to Kelly). In Fairy Tale Land they hired a new girl to be 'Snow White' who was perfect for the job.

And everyone lived happily ever after
The End