Well, this is one actually started as a dream. Then, one long, boring college class later I had written down the first two chapters… Before I knew it I had a fully fledged story on my hands! Annnyway, this is just a silly thing my mind came up with.

Oh, and spoilers to episode… 8. I checked. It helps if you've seen the whole thing, but it's not necessary.

…sniff If I owned Host club, the twins would've gotten girls. Maybe another set of twins… hmm… Anyway, me no own.

Chapter One: Boredom

Hikaru yawned. History class was soooooo boring. The teacher's voice droned on like a drunken bumblebee, and Hikaru felt his eyelids droop as he tried to catch some of the nearly unintelligible words.

"…Then Ieyasu and Nobunaga divided their troops into three sections and surrounded the Anegawa to force Asakura to…" Hikaru sighed and turned to his twin next to him. He smirked. Kaoru was doodling again, pencil wandering across the paper. Hikaru leaned a little closer and his smirk grew. Little doodles depicting Tamaki undergoing various tortures sprawled across an empty page of 'notes.' He leaned closer to whisper in his twin's ear.

"And you're supposed to be the nice one." Kaoru chuckled, putting the finishing touches on a mini-Tamaki roasting over a fire. He was gagged and bound and appeared to be holding a flag that said 'Come to the Circus.' Hikaru grinned in understanding.

"A bit unhappy about the club's theme this week, are we?" Kaoru's mouth twisted and he put a clown nose on mini-Tamaki.

"Gee, what makes you say that?" His normally good-tempered twin asked sourly. Hikaru took his own pencil and made the flames under mini-Tamaki bigger. Kaoru couldn't help but smile.

"Weren't you listening to the lecture? Looked like you were about to nod off right next to me," Kaoru murmured. Hikaru waved it off.

"Nah. We can just borrow Haruhi's notes later." Hikaru looked to his other side where Haruhi sat in what was supposed to be his seat. He shook his head in disgust. The teacher should know better than to try to split up twins. Hearing her name, Haruhi turned, pencil still working furiously. She glared at the grinning twins.

"I wouldn't count on it, Hikaru." She muttered. He put a hand to his heart and the other against his forehead dramatically and raised his voice as he flopped against Kaoru.

"Oh, Kaoru, I've been shot down!" He declared. Kaoru smothered a chuckle. The teacher paused in his lecture and peered nearsightedly toward them.

"Er, Kaoru, Hikaru, whichever it is, maybe you might pay more attention in a better setting. Detention, perhaps?" The teacher nodded decisively and returned to his lecture. "Then Takeda Katsuyori was defeated at the battle of Nagashino, thanks to…" Hikaru sighed, but his eyes sparkled and he couldn't stop a small smirk from forming. Kaoru pouted.

"No fair, Hikaru!" Haruhi sighed, flipping a page in her notebook.

"Tamaki-senpai and Kyouya-senpai aren't going to be happy. You two were full up for today."

Hikaru leaned back in his seat, well pleased with himself. "They all just wanted to see us dressed up like clowns. My good fashion sense won't allow me to wear such things." He said haughtily. "Besides, all it would be is public humiliation." He turned to his twin. "Even detention's more fun than that, right?" Kaoru nodded, twirling his pencil and speculatively eyeing the map the teacher was using to illustrate his lecture. Hikaru grinned.

"…Then Nobunaga returned to his home-" Kaoru threw his pencil like a dart. It flew straight to the front of the classroom and pegged the map. Kaoru grinned.

"In Nagoya, right?" The class peered closer and, yes, the pencil-dart was right through Nagoya. The entire class burst out laughing (except Haruhi, who just sighed, well accustomed to the boys' tricks by now). None laughed harder than Hikaru and Kaoru though, pounding each other on the back and practically crying, they were laughing so hard. The teacher turned an interesting shade of red.

"BOTH of you will stay after school with me!" Kaoru high-fived his twin and they still laughed.

"Sure, Sensei!" They cheerily said together. On cue, the bell rang for the end of school. They watched Haruhi gather her stuff to go.

"Have fun being a dancing bear, Haruhi!" Hikaru practically sang. Haruhi grumbled, had she not been worried about keeping her scholarship and paying off her debt she would have joined them in a heartbeat. Tamaki had really jumped off the deep end with this idea. But, good person that she was, she left for the torture sure to await her in the third music room. The twins exchanged a glance and settled in to endure detention.

Actually it wasn't too bad. The teacher gave them a huge packet on Nobunaga and retreated to the front of the room, occasionally shooting a glare back at the two. Hikaru nibbled his bottom lip.

"Kaoru?" Kaoru tapped his new pencil. 15. In what way did his father's funeral prove detrimental to Nobunaga's claim to lordship?

"Yeah?" Hikaru sighed.

"Our little toy doesn't seem too happy, huh?" Kaoru set his pencil down and looked over, then down.

"Yeah…" Hikaru felt an idea coming on.

"Kaoru?" Kaoru glanced over again, amused.

"Yeah?"

"Tono seems to have too much time on his hands, doesn't he?" He saw an evil grin start to appear on Kaoru's face and felt an answering grin start to grow on his own.

"My dear Hikaru, are you suggesting what I think you are?" Hikaru's grin widened.

"This could be very, very fun…"

And thus the Get-Tamaki-to-woo Haruhi-and-vice-versa game began.

Yatta! First chapter! My brain's been dry as a desert lately, but maybe this is the start of my recovery! So, stay tuned for chapter 2, A Wrench in the Works, coming soon!