Before I Forget
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own anything you recognize. That is all due respect to the DA: I creative team, BioWare, and EA Games. I'm just playing in their universe, so please don't mind me.
Panic's Note: Hello, hello! I would like to welcome you to what I hope will prove to be something quite different in that fantastic kinda way…and definitely not shit, or well hopefully not shit, hehe! I got this crazy plot twist of an idea, while rolling through my first play through of the game. This may be somewhat spoiler heavy and for that you are now, officially, warned. It will involve shifting the plot and improvising as seen fit to support my wild idea. Cullen/F!Inquisitor is the eventual and main stakes pairing. This is starting at the end of the In Your Heart Shall Burn quest line. I'd advise you stop reading now if you don't want that arc to be spoiled.
I am utilizing the entire playground that DA: I has given me. Therefore, all characters will be used and this is not merely a group of smutty oneshots for our dearest Cullen. Those will come later. I plan on framing this as a novel, so it may be quite lengthy. Anyways, I think I've given enough note and description to suffice for now.
So for your enjoyment feast your eyes on….
Chapter 1: Blood in the Breeze
A flicker of light and dull tingle, bordering on pain, slowly drew away from the consuming darkness. The groan of a wooden lever moving under the last bit of strength left in strained and tired muscles. An intricately carved sphere pulsing with a red illumination warning of the catastrophic power contained within. The deep undertones of a voice, which commanded both control and direct obedience, called for attention. Skeletal outline and a contorted frame cased in juts of red crystal and black feathers. There were deep growls and taunting movements of a creature far beyond the scope of any known threat. All marked by the gray scaled wings and series of razor sharp teeth towering far above the siege works. A gift blessed in curse flaring as a green flame held within palm's grasp. The blur of a white colossal mass surged down from a distance. Ending came with the glimpse of an ashen face bordering between fear and confusion. Blonde hair and trailing dark toned furs announced the fast retreat of the man.
"Consumed by darkness, the mind finds only what it needs." A muffled, yet familiar voice called through the endless haze.
A more defined flicker of light pierced into the darkness as it rendered an intense spreading tingle through the left peripheries of her body. The dried, yet damp, splintered edges of wood scraped against her skin with each stir her body made. A cool heaviness of packed snow blanketed her as the dim tunnel came into focus around her. Deep blue eyes slowly blinked with each layer of consciousness regained. She could hardly attempt to understand the amount of time she'd spent laying on the scorched stone floor as the last touch of darkness finally gave away.
The tingle persisted in her left palm, pulsing up her arm before drifting back down to its base, which dragged her attention to the green glow that seemed to be the cause for all of the nonsense. Her mind and inner commentary jolted to life as she forced herself to flip over her hand, in order to inspect the illuminated demonic rune etched as a scar on her palm.
"Of course, you're still present," she scoffed defiantly at the mark, before shifting to clumsily force herself into a sitting position. The dim lit view of the tunnel blurred and splotched with black as she slowly shook her head and absently rubbed her temples. There seemed to be no use in taking inventory of her surroundings or the circumstances that brought her here. Nothing at all seemed sensical in any stretch of the imagination, apart from the obviously bad situation she'd quite literally fallen into. It was even more unfathomable to attempt to sort through the mess of a recollection she seemed to hold in sharp detail, but with little context. Truth be told, she wasn't sure if anyone could make definite sense and sound logic based off her new findings. Dragon and a contorted darkspawn demigod seemed to be the only real conclusion and sure to be ultimate fears that came from all of it.
The sudden and fiercely cold impact of snow hitting her shoulder forced her body to tense. Her gaze shot up to the ice packed tear in the tunnel's ceiling. She vaguely remembered vaulting through the air before the dark reaches of her unconscious took over. Piecing that bit of information with her current surroundings gave way to an actual thought of action to move. A dull ache coursed through her body as she made the effort to stagger to her feet. She stumbled into the jagged wall and muttered a weak curse at it, before taking a step forward and faltering as her knee buckled.
She was locked in a battle against time and unending distance. Each step and twist in the path seemed to reach no closer to an exit. All the while her mind fought to remain both conscious and stable, while still attempting to sort through what all of her findings meant.
"Corypheus," she mumbled aloud with a shake of her head. Whatever he was, she had only doubt concerning any further encounters with him. A part of her was defeated already by him and to imagine facing him again was nothing more than foolish. No matter if she found her allies or not, she was certain Corypheus had won. It was over. Buying time would really be the only thing gained from countering it.
Her mindless steps and dragging depressed thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the sight of another gaping hole in the tunnel and the roaming shades underneath it. Her body moved on instincts as her right hand met the frame of her bow, while the left grabbed the feathered end of an arrow. A slight yelp escaped her lips and stilled her habits as the green blazing flare forced both items to clatter to the ground. Surging energy flowed along the anchor causing it to flare with even more strength. She had no idea what this new symptom meant, but chose to allow the curse to do its work. Her fingers drifted apart and tensed into a lock as she flung her arm up. Something closely resembling a fade rift materialized and was met by a green jet of synchronized energy coming from within her.
"It can't-," she muttered, momentarily forgetting the real threat of the shades now advancing on her. Before she had to time to rear away from the connection and find her weapon, however both of the shades were shrieking and dissolving into the rift she'd created. Her synch flickered out of connection. Her body staggered back and knees buckled as the force that held her up vanished. She winced as her knees skidded onto the rugged granite floor. Both of her eyes clamped shut at the force of impact and the lack of energy she had left. The pull of the welcomed darkness began to close around her once again.
"Maker's breath," a familiar, yet impossibly smooth voice stated just out of her reach. She swayed weakly in her current position as she forced her eyes to open again. She almost hoped for a sick play of the maker's willing at her lack of faith and apparent, untimely, death. However, she couldn't give full credit to this luring thought, because if she was in fact dead she was sure there would be much more desperation, - if not pain - than this. The sudden idea of playing in a death maze came to a crashing stop as her eyes finally found the source of the voice.
"C-Cullen?" She breathed out as her body swayed dangerously. Her head shook warily and eyes clamped shut in an attempt to force herself away from the pulling darkness. His appearance seemed more than enough cause to tie her back in the real world.
"I thought-"he started, coming to a stop before her. "I thought you were dead." He shook his head and tensed as he carefully knelt down beside her. "I saw you, I saw that- that thing. It held you, or rather dangled you and the archdemon-"Cullen paused in his confused retelling with a visible wince and clutched his right arm tightly against the space between his chest and bent knee. He sucked in a shallow stabilizing breath and continued "Herald, forgive me, I wanted to. I-I tried, but I couldn't-"
Her mind seemed to slowly take in the sight of the kneeling commander before her. His broad shoulders slumped forward in a pronounced defeat, while his body seemed held up by mere willpower alone. The shiny blonde hair that usually sat perfectly swept back appeared both dull and disorderly flaring out about his head. Thick splotches of blood clumped in flecks throughout it. Light touched brown eyes were downcast and a fine sheen of sweat masked his chiseled face. Jagged cuts and scrapes marred the visible skin leading down into the scuffed and in places severely dented armor. Her eyes came to rest on the safely guarded arm gripped against his chest.
"I-"she drawled out as she continued to take the sight before her in. "I don't know what to say." She admitted feebly with a slight shake of her head. A headache pressed at her skull as she attempted to find something more to offer him. "I'm uncertain what or who or even how it, Corypheus, came to be here. This, this curse-"She paused as she raised her left hand slightly in demonstration. "It was a mistake.'
Blue locked with brown as the pair finally came to rest in each other's gaze. Neither seemed willing to break the drawling silence much less the sudden desperate bond that coursed within it. They'd both encountered and lived through an experience, which should've killed them. It was a sense of camaraderie that she had not expected and she found herself oddly thankful to no longer be alone. She quickly found herself lost in a sudden wave of comfort that came from holding his gaze. The feeling was enough to still her thoughts.
"Yet, here we are." Cullen countered, finally pulling his attention away from her gaze to slowly examine her. The tender moment was lost almost instantly as formalities shifted back into place. She watched as his expression pulled at each pause his calculating eyes made. "By the maker's will, alive" He added in tone that seemed a bit astonished. "I would hardly call that a curse, much less a mistake." Cullen finalized his observations, before painfully forcing himself to stand.
"Cullen, it's not that simple. What happened out there and what I just-"She swayed a bit as she attempted to find her own center of balance in order to stand. "That rift like thing I just summoned." She shook her head, once again sorting through the mess of thoughts swirling within. A part of her feeling just as evil as the thing she'd just encountered. It was very possible she was a threat. "It can't be explained on faith or even be based in it. I am nothing more than an anomaly that should not have occurred. In fact, I think it best you and the inquisition carries on without my help." She impulsively rushed the end as she fell back on her heels.
Her expression fell flat as the weight of her own word finally sunk in. Almost immediately she regretted saying it, but between the haze of her pain and confused thoughts it couldn't be helped. "I-I am sorry, Cullen. I'm not-" She added weakly, lifting her head in search of his eyes.
"I would ask," he finally replied as a tight frown spread across his features. "That you give more thought to leaving the inquisition," he paused seeming to calculate his response before awkwardly adding, "We need you." He refused to meet her eyes as he turned to collect his sword long forgotten on the ground where he'd dropped it upon finding her.
"But I can't- Why are you even here?" She turned her statement quickly into a question as she once again attempted to get to her feet. It hadn't even crossed her mind that Cullen, in all rights, should be with the others and far away from Haven.
"I-"Cullen appeared to be completely caught off guard. His sword was halfway in its scabbard and remained that way while he seemed to desperately search for an acceptable answer. "It's part of my duty to ensure everyone's safety under my command and well I couldn't bar-"He shook his head warily, his voice hitching as he changed his mind on the matter. "And you fall within it, herald. At which point I must insist that we, at least, start moving in the direction of the inquisition, or what remains of it."
She moved her mouth to protest his answer, but snapped it shut upon finding nothing to say. He was right in pulling everything back to getting out of their current situation. She had been too consumed by her own fears, doubts, and spiraling thoughts to consider the trouble they were still largely in. "You really needn't-"She replied in a faltering tone as she once again attempted to get back on her feet. "It may be part of your duties, Cullen, but I don't want you - or anyone for that matter - dead because of me. I've already collected enough lives…for nothing." Her legs wavered under her weight, but were soon offset by the strong grip of Cullen's hand around her upper arm.
"The risk was mine to take." He said quietly, hauling her to her feet then letting his hand loosen its hold but remain firm on her arm as she struggled to find balance.
"I didn't want or asked any of you-"She started, loosely shaking his hand off her arm and raising her gaze to find his already fixed on her.
"You'll never have to." He said simply, with a tired nod, taking the first steps towards a path leading into another tunnel. "We fight and we die at our own will. You are not, and never will be, to blame for the – uh, unfortunate- aspects of war." He kept his gaze trained between her and the path before them as they descended onto the new pathway.
"But what about the soldiers, the Templars, refugees, Cullen if you had died on a fool's erran-" She started, but paused slipping over a rock and bumping unceremoniously into the side of the commander.
"Be careful." He chided softly, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder and releasing a slight wince induced by brushing his right arm. "But what about you? It wasn't a fool's errand, herald. You are the key to us having any chance against this. I would gladly forfeit my life to save countless others – and, well, you." He flashed a quick smile at her and recovered with an awkward, "Obviously. As I said before if I thought I were about to die I at least would like a say in how it happens."
"I, well, I." She released a frustrated sigh and returned the smile. "Thank you." She stated simply as she tried to put everything he'd said into something of a shield against her current doubts and stilled her current line of questioning. She couldn't quite place the jumps and skips and incohesive nature of their conversation, but found herself happy for his support. She had gone from wanting nothing more than to die, to wanting to leave, to somehow finding herself walking alongside her commander and towards what little hope remained. It was severely jarring to realize just how off course she'd gone since the Corypheus encounter.
The biting gust of chilled wind was the first sign that they had found the exit. It was soon followed by the dim light of the brutal storm outside. Cullen came to a stop in the remaining cover and turned to her. She could already feel the slight tremors starting in her gut as she returned a quizzical look towards him.
Cullen reached a conclusion and moved his left hand to unfasten the clips that held his cloak. In an awkward motion, limited mainly by him taking care not to unsettle his right arm, he pulled the cloak from his shoulders and held it out to her. "You may need this."
"Cullen, you're injured." She observed, reaching a hand out to the arm carefully held across his chest. "It'll suit you better to stay warm." She added, pausing her advance at the sudden tension and step back he took. Her brows furrowed over narrowed eyes. "May I?"
"I'm- I'm sorry." His face seemed to pale a bit more at her inquiry. "Forgive me. It's nothing to worry about it." He added, releasing the arm with a contained wince. 'As you can, no doubt attest, it's functional and not profusely bleeding." He swung the arm in a tense semi-circle for demonstration, which only received an even more bewildered look from his counterpart. "But please, herald, take the cloak." He shoved the item in her arms and turned to enter the storm awaiting them. Clearly, he no longer wished to discuss his arm. "Dying due to elemental factors is hardly acceptable given everything." He added in a weak attempt at humor.
She couldn't help but stare questionably at the commander. His sudden change in demeanor made her brain jog to come to something that might constitute a reason for it all. She slowly moved to wrap the warm cloak about her shoulders. Her eyes fell back on the wounded arm. It seemed the commander disliked having her sympathy at least that was the only real excuse she could give him.
"I'd prefer you call me Evelyn. I am no herald." She finally spoke, shifting the cloak a bit further up on her shoulder allowing the thick fur to insulate her neck.
"Evelyn?" Cullen confirmed. "That is a uh, very lovely name. I'll put it to practice. " He added awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and offering her a small smile as he headed into the weather. "Although, I disagree on the principal of use."
"Fair enough," She nodded and ducked her head into the remaining folds of fur before marching into the storm at his rear. Her slender legs and feet easily fit into the spaces his left in the deep snow.
There pace along the mountain's side was slow going at best. It didn't take long for Evelyn to fall in step as close as she could to Cullen hoping beyond hope that his mass might at least block the cutting wind. There was the faintest ping of guilt she felt for taking his cloak given the circumstances, yet she found herself much more grateful for his offer than anything else. Her mind wondered back to Corypheus and then to the wound of Cullen's. It skipped back to her potential exit and exile from life. The amount of responsibility still triggering doubts and the fears of a war she could never possible beat only amplified them. The storm settled into drifts of snow as time passed. Eventually, a tree line could be seen at an angle on the horizon.
"Thank the Maker. Trees. It appears my north was indeed north. The inquisition, or well what's left of it, shouldn't be too far ahead." Cullen announced, with a winded chuckle as he knelt to catch his breath. His eye rose to find Evelyn coming to a stop a few feet from him. "If you don't mind my asking-" he started, shifting his weight down onto knees. "Why were you at the conclave?" His eyes stayed trained on her as he added "I only ask because you seem both unfavorable of the Chantry and the Maker."
"Trust me when I say I did not choose to attend myself." She sighed, with a shake of her head. The unwavering gaze of Cullen's once again sweeping her into an oddly comfortable state. It was so pronounced that it was hard to ignore, but she gave credit to that due to her sheer lack of energy and his given support. It couldn't be anything more.
"The Trevelyan house agreed it best that I add to our representation in the affairs, which may or may not have been recourse for my rather vocal disagreement with our "better" teachings." She took a step back with a wind gust. Cullen's eyes exhibited something along the lines of what she best placed as a pondering look. She found herself enjoying his unwavering attention as the wind continued to stir around them. "Given my skills of expertise. They also felt I could be useful to also prove house power had things gotten…tric-" Her voice caught on the word, while the world seemed to take an alarming lurch back towards the darkness. "Tricky." She corrected, raising a hand to her temple and unintentionally placing the other on Cullen's shoulder.
"Are you-"Cullen started, shifting to get a better view of the swaying archer.
"So that should in short answer the question with some degree of clarity-"She continued in a haze over his attempt at a question. The battle to remain conscious came back into action as she swayed dangerously and took a hasty step back.
"Evelyn?!" Cullen jumped to his feet as he tried to get her attention. No doubt the final stores of energy were long gone from the archer.
She could vaguely hear his voice among the splotches of black that clouded her vision. His image drifted about in a blur before her as she took another stumbling step back. The roaring ring of blissful unconscious echoed in her ears, drowning out all outside noise. Her back fell into a firm arm, which curled into a tight hold. The sharp, yet enticing scents of Cullen lingered faintly when her head came to rest against his broad shoulder. Her eyes gave a long blink before her legs fully gave out. The last blurring image ignited in a red flash of light followed by a surge of power spreading quickly from the anchor to meet with the pressure gripping her back.
Reviews are greatly appreciated. Hit? Miss? Flame worthy? I'm really hoping against the last two, but you're ultimately the judge. Please let me know what you think. If not I look forward to presenting chapter 2! Thanks for reading :)