Childhood

By Joshua Dotson

A sweet song was playing in the background. It was soft, so as not to disturb anyone else in the small home. Soon after the music began, a beautiful voice joined it in song. The voice was soft and pleasant to the ears. If the woman singing were on stage, she would have brought the entire auditorium to tears with the heartbreaking lullaby. However, the only person who could hear the sorrow was already fast asleep with a pleasant smile on his face.

As the woman brought her song to a close, she gently placed the young boy into the small be, stroked his cheek and kissed him on the forehead. She slowly rose to leave the room, but before she closed the door she turned back and whispered a sweet secret for his ears only, "Goodnight my little Shinji. Tomorrow is going to be a big day. No matter what happens, just remember that I will always love you." She gently closed the door and went to room almost directly across from the young boys. She lay down next to the man she loved, and her mind raced over the events that would be happening all to soon. She was shocked as an arm wrapped around her and warm breath brushed against the back of her neck. "I thought you were already asleep?" she inquired as the tension flushed out of her body.

"Tomorrow is going to be a big day. I don't think that I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"But that's exactly why you need your rest. We can't afford any mistakes tomorrow."

"I know… tomorrow will decide the fate of humanity, but I just don't know if I'll be able to do it."

She turned to face the man she loved and stared deep into his eyes. While her eyes were filled with love and concern, his were filled sadness and regret. She placed her hand onto his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips right as tears started to fall from his eyes. Despite this show of affection the grown man started to sob. The sobs started as small breadths of air shooting out quickly, but soon it turned in to full fledge crying. It would have been quite amusing seeing a full-grown man crying in such a way. But the situation was so desperate, what was happening tomorrow was so important, it was just sad, sad in the most honest kind of way.

After a full hour of tears, and speeches filled with sweet nothings and false comfort, the man had finally been eased into sleep clutching to her so desperately. Almost as if he let go then he would lose her forever. The woman knew full well that this assumption was correct, but there was still so much to do for tomorrows "experiment".

Her mind began to wander again, as it had been doing for the past few months. It was already to late to turn back now. She knew what she was getting into when she accepted the grant from the organization. She knew that it was her fault that half of the world had been destroyed. She knew it was her fault that now mankind may never have a future, that it may soon end in the blink of an eye. She also knew that she was the only one that could stop it… no, not her, but her son. He was the only one who could put an end to everything, the only one who could save the world from the brink of death, but he was also one of many who could destroy it. That is why these preparations had to be made. That is why he would need to be prepared for the future. That is why he had to suffer more in his short life than many would have for the span of their entire existence.

Slowly she disentangled herself from the grip of the man that she loved and quickly left the room before she herself was overtaken by the sadness. There was too much at stake to leave now, for what is one person's happiness when compared to the fate of the entire world. The door was opened as she once again looked in on the sleeping form of her son. So peaceful, so beautiful. If only she could be a normal mother, if only she hadn't made so many mistakes in the past. Tears fell silently as she once again left the room.

She would have wondered around the house for a while, but it was small, very small. There was barely enough room for the two adults that lived there now, but add a child to the mix and it seemed to be cramped. But, she wouldn't have it any other way. She loved the closeness, how the ones she loved would always be right there, so that neither they nor she could hide or run away from one another. It was this small home that brought so many happy memories. This is the house they came after the marriage, where they first made love and conceived the beautiful baby boy. This is the sofa they sat on when staying up far to late, watching movies that were far too corny. This is the stove that she and her husband used to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. This is where her husband sat worried over her first dealing of morning sickness. This is where they held each other when they first heard that there could be complications with the pregnancy. This is where he cried himself to sleep that night, and many nights afterward. This is where the name for their child was first conceived. This is where the blood drained from her body shortly after her water broke. This is where they brought their boy home after several weeks of surgeries and needless worry. This is where they first heard his laughter. This is where little shinji took his first steps, had his first fall, said his first words, cried his first tears… and after tomorrow she would never see this place again.

Before any more thoughts could run through her mind there was a ring, the ring of the telephone. She didn't wonder who it would be, nor did she complain about someone calling so late. For she knew that it could only be one other person. The only other person who could truly understand what she was going through, because they were going through the exact same thing. She placed her hand on the receiver and answered the phone, "Hello, Kyoko."

--

Shinji was so happy today. He was finally going to be able to see the place where his parents worked. His mother and father told him so many things about this place that he had a hard time going to sleep the night before. Although he was able to hear his mother's beautiful voice, so it was a fair trade in his mind. Everything was so shiny in this place, so pretty. He couldn't remove the smile from his face no matter how hard he tried. But something was wrong.

His parents had barely said anything all day. Ever since they all got up it was like something bad was going to happen. But he knew that these thoughts were just silly, nothing bad could ever happen to mama and papa. They would always be there to protect him they said they would.

There were so many people here today. It was just like his mama had said, "Today is an important day for the entire world, and we need everyone to be there to make sure everything runs right. Especially you my little Shinji, you're the most important one of all." He simply smiled and nodded at his mothers' words then. It's not that he couldn't talk; he could very well actually, and he was also already bilingual, meaning he could speak both Japanese and English. It was just something that he didn't really like to do all that much. If he could just express it with his body, than he would much rather do that. Talking just seemed unnecessary to him.

As they continued the walk down the long corridor with both of his hands held by his parents, it seemed that they were taking after their child. Almost everyone was giving them encouraging words for what they called the days "experiment" but like him, his mother would simply smile and nod, while his father would say nothing at all. The only conversation that was mad by his mother had something to do with someone named Kyoko. Afterwards the boy looked up at her confused, and wanting to ask her about it all. "You know my little Shinji, There is another woman almost on the other side of the world doing something just like I'm doing today. She has a little girl your age; I believe she even has the same birthday as you. If everything goes well for the two of us today then I'm sure you'll get to meet her someday. Would you like that Shinji?" The little boys' confusion was quickly replaced by a smile at his mothers' words. He had never really met anyone his own age before. Needless to say it was kind of boring always playing by himself, so another person would definitely brighten up playtime. So he nodded to his mother, but still didn't say a thing.

Suddenly they stopped in front of a large pair of double doors. His mother had released her grip on his hand and knelt down in front of him. She simply smiled at him, and pulled him into a tight hug when she finally said, "Today is important for the whole world my little shinji. I have to go now to get ready. I want you to go with your father so you can watch mommy do her important work. So I can show you how bright and beautiful the world can be, okay. Goodbye my Shinji." She kissed him on the forehead, stood, turned around, and left through the large double doors. The little boy that he was just smiled and waved his arm fiercely to tell her goodbye in return. He felt something wet hit his cheek and he turned his head to look at his father. All he noticed was the papa's head had turned away from him quickly, like he was trying to hide something. The smile slowly left his face and was replaced by a look of confusion as the two simply stood there for what felt like an eternity. Finally his father broke the silence, "Come now Shinji, let's go watch your mother's experiment now." They turned to leave with Shinji looking over his shoulder to where his mother had gone.

--

After that day Yui Ikari was lost inside of the huge machine designed for Project E. Body and soul were lost forever from those that had loved her. The experiment for the day was a complete success. However on the other side of the world at the GEHIRN labs in America, that experiment was almost considered a failure. If they had a bit more time or money, then things would have proceeded just as smoothly as it did in Japan, however, something went wrong and the woman's body stayed behind, leaving it just a shell of it's former self, as her soul was taken by the beast. While she was still there, her mind started to form it's own world to deal with the absence of feeling, replacing everything. And the little girl she left behind was all the worse for it.

--

"Mama, mama, I'm home Mama!" the little girl cried out in an unsuppressed glee as she ran up the small path leading to her large home. The reason for her excitement rested solely with her mother. Ever since her "accident" as the doctors had put it, she had been ignoring the young girl even more so than usual. But it was different than it was before. Back then she would at least acknowledge her by name, smile at her, hold her, or if she was lucky even play with the child. But now, it was like she was being replaced.

Right after the "accident" her mother had come home and took her favorite doll. The doll soon had a name different that the one that the girl had picked out, and it's purpose had changed. Now the doll was called Asuka, now it was being held, taken care of, played with and loved. Not the little girl, the little girl was barely even existent in her mothers' eyes. She was only referred to if the new Asuka had been acting up, "You have to behave now Asuka, or that other girl will laugh at you." It was a phrase that had become all too familiar with her young mind.

Despite how many times the little girl had pleaded with her mother that she was the real Asuka, no matter how many tears had been shed, no matter how many times she had to be dragged out of the hospital, her mother would never recognize her. Her mother would never look away from the doll. She had gradually learned to accept it. Now the doll was Asuka, and she was just that other girl.

However, her hope had not died that she could somehow convince her mother that she was her daughter. If she was a good girl, better than any other, than maybe she would stop being sick, maybe she would actually look at her, love her… care for her, just as she did for that doll.

That's why today was so important, that's why she was so excited. With the news she had, her mother couldn't her but recognize her as the best little girl, as her little girl. "Mama, mama, they chose me mama! I'm going to be an elite pilot! They told me to keep it a secret, but I'll only tell you mama! I'm not going to be lonely anymore mama! Everyone is so nice to me now! I'm special now mama, so please look at me! Please be my mama!" she cried out as tears of joy ran down her face. She was inside now, just up the stairs and to mothers' room, then she could tell her face-to-face, and they could be a family again. It would go back to the way it was 2 months ago no… it would be better.

"Mama, Mama, I was chosen, I'm special, I'm going to be a pilot mama!" she couldn't suppress the laughter or the tears as she had finally reached her mothers' room. She could tell now, it would all change; she would only look at her now. Now she would be Asuka again, no longer just that other girl. As she threw open the door, she started to expel her happy news once again, but what she saw stopped her. All she could do was stand and look with her smile still paralyzed onto her young face.

A/N: That is the first chapter of my second little story. There may be some things that are not going to be explained full and well until a lot later so, I guess you'll just have to come back for more. Anyway, so far I like this story a lot better than Delusion, mostly because I already have so much planned out for it, and I have a clear idea of where I am going with this, and it's written down so I won't forget, even if I do take a break. It did take longer to write than I thought, so the rest of the chapters probably won't be uploaded as quickly as the ones for my first fic were either. Sorry, but I guess you'll just have to be patient if you like it that it. As always reviews would be appreciated if you want to write them and Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it as much as I did writing it.

P.S. I know it's been a long time since I updated, but I won't make excuses. Anyway just one little change with this, for continuity purposes. Next chapter should be up in a couple of days or later tonight depending on how wired I am.