Uh oh, plot bunny attack! Ahhh! It overwhelmed the other story I was planning on writing today… Avengers, why your butts be so oh so sexay? Must avert eyes. Error! Error! Request denied! –Flashing red alarm lights and siren sounds in the background as people run around like headless chickens-
I don't own the Avengers (and/or their uber-sexy butts) because they come under Marvel and apparently now only comic-book artists can draw people's butts. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my total retardedness! And definite OOC! I'm not even very sure of when this should take place. AU then!
Fury smothered a smirk that was froming at the sight the screen was presenting. Agent Hill stood by his side smiling a little as her eyes were fixated on the scene before them.
Loki was. To put it simply, wearing a pink frilly dress with ruffles and laces along the hem. His head had a sparkly pink tiara and makeup liberally plastered upon his face.
Well, how had he gotten himself into such a predicament? He had been extremely foolish and made a choice against his better judgement. That's what. The arrogant prick thought it best if he had some sort of insurance against the Avengers and taken it upon himself to kidnap a random hostage.
[Loki lovers, restrain yourselves please! I rather fancy Loki myself. Ahaha, what am I babbling on about now.]
The unfortunate soul, depending on whose point of view, was a small five or six year old child that had been separated from her mother during the mayhem of the multitude people rushing about, going on their everyday business.
The small brunette child with pink dimpled cheeks, the brightest pair of onyx-like eyes in an average black jacket and white skirt combo was just wandering about aimlessly, in hopes that she could spot her mother in the bustling crowd.
She had looked rather lost during that point in time and Loki had seized the opportunity to whisk her away without garnering much attention by the general public.
What had possessed him to do such a thing was lost on the SHIELD team who had been keeping their sights on the man as well but who were prepared to jump in and rescue the child.
Luckily they had managed to place a small, easily overlooked camera on the jacket of the girl before they managed to escape with his magic and were tracking down his every movement at the very instant.
Nevertheless, the small girl was most displeased to have been taken away from her mother and burst into immediate tears, kicking and screeching with the force of a banshee.
In an attempt to placate her and prevent a headache the size of his ego from forming, Loki had succumbed to her wiles and agreed to entertain her while he waited for SHIELD to maybe come bursting in and busting him to take them to their headquarters.
The little girl immediately brightened up substantially and considered her viable options.
This kidnapper guy could really use something to brighten his day up, what with his constant grouchy expression marring his handsome features.
"A tea party! And we can be princesses!" The girl cheered loudly, innocently oblivious to the fact that the man in front of her was the one who had snatched her away in the first place. Or so we think.
Loki's face dropped and his mood worsened drastically. 'Seriously?'
"Mhmm! I've always wanted to be a princess! And I've never had a tea party before! Okay, you can be Princess Angelina and I'll be Princess Madeline!" She crossed her arms and stared at the dumbfounded man expectantly.
"Now Princess, you don't actually expect me to listen to you right?" Loki pleaded desperately.
The waterworks threatened to start up yet again and Loki relented unwillingly.
He used his [super duper awesome] powers to generate some generic tea things as well as a fancy table.
The girl eyed him like one might size up a chunk of meat and he felt his soul dying a little. Not like he had one, but still...
When had little girls become such horrific little monsters? He thought that being bullied on Asgard was bad, but this was atrocious!
"I think you'll look good in pink Princess Angelina! A really frilly dress with lots and lots of those ruffly thingies like on television! And then I want a green dress! And lots of tea! Cookies! Cakes too, of course!" The little girl rattled on.
"Hey you girl! You can't just!" A cute pout made its appearance. "Fine."
"Tiaras for the princesses! And maybe magic wands too! Lots of sparkles! Cute toys! Flowers~" The list seemed never-ending and Loki felt a vein about to pop.
He conjured up his magic accordingly to the girl's every whim and fancy. Yes, including the monstrosity of a dress and a matching tiara.
It actually made him look pretty good, rather girly perhaps but it suited him. Of course, a god could make anything he wore look good but that's beside the point now.
He was surprisingly agreeable with all that was happening. Of course, he wasn't aware of the camera at the time or maybe he wanted to release his inner girl that had been stifled for so long by his egoistical self.
Who knew how his mind worked.
"I would like you to observe what is going on on that screen." Fury directed their attention to the images being played.
And almost immediately burst into raucous laughter. Clint, who was hanging out on the ceiling smiled as well.
Who knew that Loki's downfall would be a little girl?
"Wow, this would make for some great blackmail footage! Can I have a copy of that? Maybe post it up on the internet or send it to every computer in the universe." Everyone clamored eagerly for some proof that the Great And Mighty I-Will-Kill-You-All Loki had fallen prey to an innocent girl.
Loki, however, was not a very happy camper. He had neglected his duties of world domination for some silly play with a mortal girl. It should have been below him to listen to the brat he had kidnapped.
That brat in question who was now happily chattering on about fairies and magic and how her mother loved to tell her stories about handsome princes, wicked witches as well as beautiful damsels in distress.
He fiddled with the scratchy pink boa draped around his neck and stretched lazily.
This wasn't as bad as he expected and the girl was somewhat amusing. Wait, had he actually admitted he had fun doing some pointless activity.
It had been rather restful despite the demanding little tyrant and her pointless demands...
As the Avengers came crashing through the doors and windows he found himself thinking, 'Well finally. Took them long enough to show up.'
He stood up and dusted himself off. The clothes morphing back into his normal attire and elegantly arranged his helmet on his head.
"Wow Reindeer Game, never pegged you as the girly girl type, Your Royal Princess Angelina."
"Just shut it and capture me already, why don't you."
"Hey mister! I really had fun today! Thank you for taking your time to play with me!"
A genuine little smile touched his lips and before it vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.
"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world..."
He scowled violently and headed up the quinjet in cuffs.
'I'm never going to live this down, am I?'
Everyone began to sing the song at the top of their voices as his scowl deepened even further and he shook his fists angrily at them.
Ahah! I warned you about the unmentionable OOC at the very beginning! But I betcha had fun reading this quirky little horror, didn't you? Imagine, Loki in a pink dress. :D Had fun? Now help me have fun too by reviewing or criticizing how terrible it was and should be deleted and thrown away into a dark abyss! Or you could just vanish back into the fan fiction realm without a trace. I mean, it is completely up to you. I just hope you make the right decision! Favorite away! And I hope I can get back down to business with my anime one-shots and not get distracted by more unwanted plot bunnies...
Kindly refrain from taking this too seriously! It's just a random piece of fluff, doomed to be forgotten. I hoped it made you laugh your butts off and relieve some stress! I sure did!