She lay in her bed clutching her pillow to her chest. She hadn't moved since she got the news and that had been three days ago. She knew that she should get up and take a shower, comb her hair and , brush her teeth, but she didn't have the energy to.

All she did was lay there and repeat the note over and over again in her head. She had memorized it the first time she had read it and she knew without a doubt that it would be etched into her brain forever.

Buffy,

I am sorry to have to tell you this,but Angel is dead. He was killed in a battle over throwing the law firm Wolfman & Hart. You should be happy to know that he was successful and the world is a little bit safer now because of him. He died a hero. Again, I am sorry for your loss.

Whistler

The note said that she should be happy that he had been successful. How the hell could she be happy? Yeah Angel had overthrown Wolfman & Hart, but he had died in the process. She wished he would have called her for help but he hadn't. Part of her wondered if he hadn't called her because she had sent him away when she was fighting the first. But she knew that wasn't true.

The always noble Angel had wanted to protect her. He never took into account that she was a Slayer and it was her job to fight to protect the world and if she died in the process, than so be it. Hell, she had already died twice. This was her destiny,but Angel didn't care about that. All he cared about was that he loved her and he had to protect her, so he had gone into this without her.

Part of her loved him for wanting to protect her but another part of her hated him for it. If she had been there, he probably would still be alive today. But,alas, she hadn't been there and the only man she had ever loved was now dead.

Her door opened and somebody walked in but she pretended not to notice. " Buffy" It was Willow. " I brought you something to eat. You should really eat something and come downstairs. Dawnie is starting to get really worried about you and so are the rest of us. We know that you are hurting but you still should be up and about. If not for us than for you. Please Buffy? Its not healthy for you to stay in bed all this time."

Buffy just kept staring at the wall. After standing there watching her for a moment, Willow sighed and left, closing the door behind her. Once Buffy heard her go downstairs, she sat up. She qucikly glanced at the food tray Willow had brought her, but she didn't touch it. She still had no desire for food. Instead, she wanted something else.

Along with the note, Whistler had sent a box of Angel's things. She slowing walked to her desk where she had left it. When she had first gotten it, she had been too devestated over Angel's death to open it but now she wanted to. A lump formed in her throat as she lifted the lid. Inside was some of Angel's weapons and beneath that were some of his clothes. She picked up a shirt and tears filled her eyes. It was the shirt he had been wearing the last time she had seen him. She held it close to her and breathed in his scent that still lingered there.

She took out the rest of his things, and on the bottom she found a note addressed to her. Hands shaking ,she picked it up and opened it. She took a deep breath and began to read.

My darling Buffy,

If you are reading this, then I have been killed in the battle against Wolfman & Hart. I had to write this because I couldn't say goodbye to you in person and I had to say goodbye to you somehow. Don't be mad at me for not telling you about this. I just couldn't risk your life by having you here. I need to know that you are still out there living your life. Thats what gets me through each day without you baby. I'm doing this for you Buffy. Defeating Wolfman & Hart makes your world a little safer.

I told you I would die to protect you and I ment it. I love you so much Buffy. Meeting you in that dark ally all those years ago had been the best thing that ever happened to me. You were so strong, brave, and beautiful, that no matter how hard I tried not to, I couldn't help falling in love with you. Loving you is what made me into the man I am today. I know now that I was made to love you.

Don't hate yourself for my dying Buff, I have no regrets. I may be dead now, but know that I will always be with you. So go on, live your life and be happy. I'm just sorry I wont be around when the cookie is baked. With all my love always and forever,

Angel

Buffy put down the letter and wiped away her tears. He had died for her. Part of her had known it but she hadn't admited it to herself until now. Slowly she began collecting his things and began putting them back into the box. When she was finished she put them on the top shelf of her closet where they would be safe.

She looked at the box and thought of all the love she had for him. She was gonna miss him so much, but she was gonna do what he wanted and contiue to live her life. She turned away from the box and shut the closet door. " Goodbye Angel. I will always love you." She whispered. With that said, she opened her bedroom door and walked downstairs. After three days of wondering she knew she was gonna make it. She was finally at peace.

The End!