PROCREATION SCIENCE -
A Misconception
AN: I'm finding it hard to write with the space memories hanging over us, so I dug this idea out of a backlog of things I considered writing and never got the chance to for one reason or other. This is a fic I wanted to write waaaay back when, after a comment Paige made to Walter in the beginning of Episode 2.13 "White Out". I never wrote it because it became AU almost immediately with the advent of speed dating, Linda and Tim. It deviates pretty far from canon now, so I don't know if a continuation is feasible. Let me know your thoughts.
This starts immediately after the events of White Out where the gang is camping on the roof of the garage.
Walter gave up trying to sleep. It was no use.
The irony didn't escape him. Cabe refused to share a tent with Sylvester because of the mathematician's tendency to snore, but the sounds coming from the sleeping Homeland agent were almost causing the tent walls to vibrate.
In addition to the snoring, Walter's own busy thoughts kept buzzing around in his head like a hive of angry bees. There would be no rest for the genius that night, so he made the decision to sneak downstairs to the lab and work on a project he had going.
One thought in particular kept plaguing him more than all the others combined and he needed to shut it out by concentrating on something else. Anything else. Before the idea could continue to take hold and a plan could continue to take shape. Or worse, before he could say something stupid to the other individual required to approve the idea and participate in the plan. He didn't even want to imagine how that conversation would go.
Walter waited another few minutes until he was sure everyone else was still asleep, mentally evaluating each tent for silence or the murmurs and rustlings associated with sleeping. When he was satisfied everyone else was down for the night, he rolled out of his covers and crawled toward the tent flap. Slowly and carefully, he eased the zipper open doing his best to keep the noise to a minimum.
When he emerged onto the roof, he was startled to see a figure painted in the glowing amber hues and flickering indigo shadows of the dying firelight over by the fire pit. His heart rhythm kicked up and he felt a little breathless. He tried to blame it on the surprise of finding someone else awake. But even through his denial, he was struck again by how incredibly stunning she was. Normally he wasn't one to appreciate or even notice beauty, but it occurred to him if all art resembled her in that moment, he might just begin to see the value and start a collection of his own.
"Hey," Paige whispered, a lopsided little smile playing at her lips.
"Oh, uh. Hey," Walter answered quietly, "I didn't think anyone else was up."
Her smile grew as he made his way over to her. She patted the space beside her invitingly. "Couldn't sleep either? I think Sly and Cabe are having a snoring contest. At this point there's not a clear winner, but you have to give them credit for trying to outdo each other."
He smirked as he sat beside her, leaning his back against the ice chest full of the now rapidly melting snow they brought back for Ralph. "It's different when we're all on an airplane. The engine noise drowns them out pretty effectively. But there's no way I can sleep through all this."
"It's a hazard of being a mom too. I've been a light sleeper since Ralph was born."
"I can see where that fits with evolutionary biology. Always listening for your child's cries or any disturbance around them, I mean." Walter swallowed and frowned down at his hands in his lap. Their conversation stirred up that same irritatingly persistent thought bringing it to the forefront of his mind again.
And to make matters worse, Paige asked, "What's going on in that head of yours? You look like something is bothering you."
"Oh, uh, it's-it's nothing," he returned.
"You might as well tell me, you know. What else do we have to do until morning?"
Could he tell her what he'd been thinking? What would be gained from it? And wasn't he just considering the awkwardness of this very conversation? But he made up his mind to say it anyway. Getting it out in the open might purge it from his thoughts, especially if she was horrified by the suggestion. Walter hesitated another minute, agonizing a little longer over the phrasing. He started with, "What you said to me this morning about wanting a sibling for Ralph got me to thinking. And I haven't been able to let it go since."
Looking confused, Paige said, "What? What brilliant idea did you get by me saying that?"
Unable to contain the words any longer, he blurted, "Ever since M-Megan… I never thought about it before that. It never even occurred to me. But when you said Ralph needed a brother or sister and-and I thought about what my sister meant to me… W-well, um, I never considered being a parent. But my parents will never have another chance for a grandchild if I don't reproduce and… I thought maybe? Is it too crazy?"
Snorting softly trying to control her mirth, Paige asked, "Is what too crazy? You aren't making sense. Spit it out."
Walter took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "There is a way to provide both a sibling for Ralph and-and to ensure DNA similar to Megan's survives."
Her eyes widened, so he could tell she was finally catching on. "Walter," she rasped, "Do you mean…?"
"We could have a child together. Yes. If-if you were amenable, that is."
Abruptly, Paige stood up and held out her hand for his. He paused for just a beat before taking her hand and letting her pull him up and toward the door to the garage. Walter still inexplicably enjoyed the pleasant sensations he experienced when they held hands and he gladly followed her down the ramp and all the way into his loft.
Looking a little wild-eyed, Paige turned to him and hissed, as if the others were listening through the concrete of the rooftop, "You can't be serious, can you?"
Feeling self-conscious, he shifted his weight to his other foot and replied, "It was only a thought. And I did ask if it was crazy. I guess it was?" He looked closely at her expression to see if he could discern what she was thinking. If there was ever a time he needed an interpreter, it was now. But his usual Cliff Notes were pacing in front of him, a frown marring her features.
"How much have you thought this through, Walter? You said it was a bad idea to be a single mom to two kids, remember?"
"That's one of the questions I contemplated, yes. But it would be different this time. With-with me. We're, um, good friends. I can honestly say you are one of my best friends. And I would never abandon a child if our relationship disintegrated. Even though I can't imagine that scenario. I would make sure I was legally bound to provide for all of you, including Ralph, to-to give you all the reassurance you would need." He rubbed at the back of his neck in agitation when she just stared at him in disbelief. "It's okay if you think it's a dumb idea. We can forget it."
Suddenly Paige was blinking back tears and Walter was feeling something close to panic. "No one has ever made that kind of promise to me before," she whispered, her lower lip quivering. "The idea isn't dumb. It is a bit crazy… But it's also appealing for several reasons. I'm just in shock. A-a little bit. Sorry. Give me a minute, okay?"
She turned around and took several deep breaths obviously trying to steady herself. When she turned back to face him, she brushed her hair out of her eyes and her hand trembled slightly.
Focusing on the floor, Paige quietly asked, "If. And I mean if we do this, would we be... making the baby in a lab? Or would we be doing this the… old fashioned way?"
Face immediately flaming, Walter's wide eyes darted to anywhere that wasn't Paige. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought extensively about the 'old fashioned' method. He forced out a reply, around the stiffness of his lips, "That would be entirely up to you. Whichever way you-you'd be more comfortable doing it, um... I mean, this. The-the idea. You-you know..." His voice trailed off.
She smiled with amusement for a moment, then she stated thoughtfully, "I'd want to do a cleanse. Start eating right. Visit my doctor to get a clean bill of health."
Feeling more comfortable discussing this part of the planning, Walter met her gaze and piped up, "I'd want to make an appointment to see my doctor as well. If nothing else, I need genetic screening to make sure I don't have the marker for MS. And you'd also want to go to the dentist. Getting your teeth cleaned causes a shower of bacteria. You shouldn't subject a fetus to that. And you should start taking folic acid and prenatal vitamins too. I did extensive research in the helicopter on the way back from Antarctica while everyone else was sleeping…"
"Oh, so this was a random thought? Something you didn't consider too much?" Paige asked mockingly, shaking her head at him.
"I was bored on the flight," he argued, but had the grace to look a little sheepish. Then he reluctantly admitted, "I-I couldn't get the idea out of my head."
Grinning up at him, she couldn't resist needling him a little, "Which method of conception did you discover was best when you did all your research? You must have a scientific opinion one way or the other."
Staring at his shoes as if they held all the answers, he stuttered, "I-, uh, it-it…" He gulped then continued, "It is much easier on the, um, mother… to conceive naturally. To have a test tube pregnancy, you have to take artificial hormones to prepare the womb. They, uh, have some unpleasant side effects…"
Stepping into his personal space, running one finger slowly down the placket of buttons on his shirt, and listening to his breath catch, she teased, "And I can think of a couple of pleasant side effects of conceiving naturally."