"I have fallen." No.6, Quarrel
It was a seemingly normal night, well, as normal as the two of them could manage anyways. Nezumi was sprawled across his small tattered bed, naturally; while Shion sat on the small red couch that might as well be his own. He seemed to be captivated by whatever he was reading. Cravat and Moonlit were on either of his shoulders, looking down at the book as though they were reading too, probably expecting Shion to read the words to them. Shion usually refrained from reading aloud when Nezumi was present though, unless he was sure that he was sleeping, at least.
Nezumi rolled over and eyed the white haired boy, who didn't look up from his book at Nezumi's sudden movement. He kept watching him, as he licked his fingers to aid him in turning the pages, brow furrowed in concentration.
"Hey," he said huskily.
Shion looked up from the book and Cravat jumped off his shoulder and scurried to Nezumi, chirping and sitting on the bed next to him. When his eyes met the other boys, he looked confused.
"Yes?" Shion asked him, questioningly.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I believe that this is called reading… Why? Is something wrong?"
"Not really, I'm just… hungry." Nezumi said.
"Oh, right. Okay."
Shion pondered all of the things he could make for dinner. He thought about maybe asking Nezumi, but usually that proved pointless because he just ate whatever Shion cooked.
"You don't have to worry about it now, I guess. I'll go find something while I'm out."
He would probably end up cooking anyways, as he himself had to eat. Shion figured Nezumi was going to perform as Eve tonight, because, well it seemed to have been a while since the last time- but usually Rikiga would gush to Shion about any performance coming up. He closed the book and stood to return it to the shelf. Walking over to the isles, he shot over his shoulder "You never mentioned going out tonight?"
"Do I usually tell you?" Nezumi asked sarcastically.
Well no, Shion thought.
"You at least imply that you won't be around whenever you are intending to head out for a bit."
He pushed the book into its empty space on the shelf.
"Where do you go?" he asked.
It wasn't much of a question, and he didn't really expect an answer. Nezumi hardly ever answered his questions. He usually only accused Shion of being nosy and told him to stop trying to pry into his life, but as they both knew, that was hardly ever his intention. He was merely curious.
I want to learn more about you.
"Nowhere special, Shion, Just out. Geez, I think it's the fact that you've been away from your mother for so long that's starting to make you feel the desire to act like mine. I better get a move on and start pursuing your silly little third option if I ever want to get you off of my back."
"That's not it at all!" Shion shot back, ignoring the last comment.
Nezumi seemed startled at the others sudden lash, curious as to why that offended him so much. He was only teasing, and he assumed Shion knew that. But he decided he needed a good teasing, and curled his lips up at the sides as he stood, crossing the room in five long strides to reach the other boy. He stood in front of him, putting his hand on his hip coolly.
"Don't get so defensive, Shion. It's okay if you wanna act like my mom. I guess I can roll with that. Maybe I'll decide that I think it's cute. Wouldn't that be some kink?" He winked.
Shion scoffed and went to walk around the other boy. When Nezumi stepped in his way he sneered, "Don't you have somewhere to be?" He was obviously becoming frustrated. Good, Nezumi thought.
"Aw, Shion- There's really no reason to be testy that way. I'm only teasing. Do I deserve a spanking for my bad attitude, ma?" Nezumi grinned.
"You're looking down on me again. You're the only person who's been so egotistical they think they know everything about me. You act like my insides are exposed to you and so you point out every little flaw you find. You have a habit of making me feel like shit sometimes."
The harsh language that Shion had just displayed startled Nezumi, but more so than that, it was kinda… hot. He let any trace of humour dissolve from his face, and he became solemn. He could see Shion starting to maybe regret what he'd just said. Now Nezumi wanted to challenge him, and he knew Shion would do anything to be looked at as Nezumi's equal.
I want to be your equal.
"Alright fine," Nezumi challenged. "Give me one example of that, and work to demonstrate it for me so that maybe I'll better understand what you've been trying to convey to me for so long. K?"
"I won't jump through this hoop, Nezumi. I'm no longer in the mood for games. Sorry I'm being cranky, I guess that I'm just a little stressed since the Holy Day is coming up and everything..."
"I'll leave you alone once you show me. I won't belittle you anymore. Scouts honor." Nezumi vowed, placing his fingers at his brow in a mock salute.
Shion considered this, as Nezumi had expected, but what he wasn't expecting was the sudden laughter that erupted in the white haired boy. Shion stepped into him and whispered "Fine. I accept your challenge. First, close your eyes." And Nezumi did as he was told, playing along.
Am I really going to do this? Shion asked himself. Yes, of course I am. I'm too close to turn back now. This is just what I've been waiting for.
He rose on the balls of his feet, putting both hands on Nezumi's chest and caught the blue haired boy's bottom lip in between his teeth. He kept his eyes open, studying the confusion in the boy in front of him, noting how his eyebrows rose and he gasped. Nezumi was hardly expecting such a daring move on Shion's behalf, gathered and composed as he was, Shion was surprised he reacted at all. He pulled away.
"The worst thing you do… the thing that pisses me off the most; is that you belittle me because you're too scared to admit your own feelings. Whether it be admitting it to yourself or some other party, I'm not sure, but you just can't seem to reason with the fact that you're feelings aren't that far off from my own." Shion finished, tears welling up in his eyes.
Nezumi simply gawked at him, and cocking his head to the side asked, "Shion, what the fuck was that?" The shorter boy glared at him, the tears beginning to spill over his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, looking like a fish out of water. "Uh, it..." he choked. Nezumi held a finger up to Shion, his eyes narrowing menacingly.
"It was what, Shion? Do you think I don't admit my feelings because I'm too scared of what others will think? By this point, I can hardly see the point in giving two shits anymore. I've fallen. But I didn't want to voice it because I didn't want your feelings for me get in the way of the things you care about most. I don't want you to change."
I've fallen.
I don't want you to change.
"You're what I care the most about." Shion shook his head.
"What about Karan, and that wh-, I mean- what about Safu? No.6? The hell hole you're so hopelessly in love with? And your reasons for that, by the way, are so far beyond me I can't even begin to comprehend what's going on in the oblivious head of yours. That's beside the point, what about all of the things you said about destroying the wall? It's not all black and white, things like that, huh? I didn't tell you because I don't know how to confront you about the grey that I've opened my eyes to. This feeling that I have for you kills me. It makes me do and feel things I never would've before and I don't know how to deal with it!" He started to pant, realizing that his voice had progressively become louder with every word.
Shion shrunk where he stood, his heart pounding furiously. He just wanted to put this behind them. He wasn't prepared to meet this head on just yet. Why'd he opened his fat mouth?
"I…I'm sorry. I'll go… I'm sorry for saying anything."
Shion started towards the door without lifting his eyes from the floor.
"-The hell are you gonna go?! God dammit, Shion, I've fallen for you. You belong here. HERE!"
Pride being the least of his concerns, Nezumi started to cry. He hit the floor and sat where he'd stood, unable to stand anymore. He started again, not even stopping to regain even a little composure.
"Four years ago you changed my life forever. I thought about you every day, and I hate to admit it, but sometimes I even thought about giving up. But I came back for you because you don't belong in No.6. You're too good for that. You've changed me, and maybe I'm becoming weak or soft or whatever the hell Inukashi wants to think but I can't help it." He swallowed. "I love you."
"I..." Shion murmured, "Ne-Nezumi, I…"
"It's fine. Look- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get worked up. You win." Nezumi said, wiping any traces of tears off of his face before meeting Shion's eyes. "Come here." He beckoned.
Shion sat, bewildered, before he crossed the room cautiously, sitting down on his knees in front of Nezumi. The blue haired boy reached out and took Shion's wrist, guiding his hand to press up against his own heart.
"I'm still the same blood and flesh and warmth you saved four years ago, and I'll forever owe you for blessing me with your presence. You never deserve to feel less than you are. You're you, and that's the most wonderful thing you can be." He smiled sadly. "I just don't want to let you go, that's all."
Shion was starting to feel helpless and exhausted considering what'd just happened. He wondered if it was over, or if the worst was yet to come. Honestly, he really didn't know what to say. Part of him was sad for being the cause of Nezumi's internal suffering, and another part of his was pleased that Nezumi had finally come to terms with his feelings for him. So he did all that he could think of, and that was wrapping him arms around the other boy and pressing his lips to Nezumi's.
He kept their lips connected as he stood, supporting the other boy's weight and guiding him so that he stood as well. He walked them backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed and he fell onto his back. Nezumi, who was now on top of him, smiled and began to snicker. He lifted his weight off of Shion and looked down at him.
"This is just like you." He noted, flashing his teeth at the other boy. "You really want your first experience to be what they call 'make up sex'?"
Colour rose to Shion's cheeks and he raised a hand and smacked Nezumi's shoulder. Of course they both knew that this was no good, as Shion had no real intention of inflicting pain on Nezumi. Yet Nezumi let his smile fade and fall into a pout. He screwed up his eyebrows so that he looked deeply pained that Shion would hit him.
"Aw, come on Shion. What if you'd hurt me?" he teased, mood changing.
"Then I would've kissed it better, like my mom used to do for me…" Shion said, feeling silly for admitting this out loud. Humour reached Nezumi's eyes and naturally, Shion felt even sillier.
"In that case…" he paused, and frowned, "ouch."
The blue haired boy smiled wickedly.
Shion raised the same hand and grabbed the neck of Nezumi's green shirt, pulling it down over his shoulder to expose the skin he'd just abused. He brushed his lips against his skin, and the blue haired boy shivered over him. Shion kissed gently. As one would have been enough, he pulled away, only to decide that he himself couldn't handle leaving just one. His lips met the warm flesh again, and he worked his way up- kissing a trail until Nezumi's lips met his own.
"Better?" Shion asked, mostly to himself.
Nezumi's skin was now a cluster fuck of gooseflesh and a surge of power that shot straight to his groin. He felt less sad or embarrassed or whatever it'd been moments earlier. Now he had a growing desire, and he hoped Shion knew that if he tried to get away from him that it would hardly sit well with him by this point. Shion was easy enough to persuade, what with Nezumi's charm and good looks. Nezumi chided himself. He couldn't take advantage of Shion without hurting his feelings, or bruising his pride. He'd have to discover some other tactic.
"Shion-," he breathed, pulling away from the boy under him. "I'm sorry" he said, eyes softening.
Shion searched Nezumi's face, and shut his eyes. His eye brows rose as he looked for the right words to say, but ended up simply telling Nezumi that he wasn't to blame. Shion wanted to take full responsibility for their previous episode.
"Next time, I'm not going to give you the room to lie to me. That includes keeping secrets from me. You promised you wouldn't lie to me before. Did I not punch you hard enough the other night?" Shion teased.
"You toyed with my feelings that night Shion; I was too numb to pay attention to your feeble attempts to beat me. Violence is never the answer." He smiled down at the warm crimson eyes.
"I never thought I'd hear you say something like that" Shion chuckled.
"Yeah well, there's a lot I still haven't let you know about me, huh?"
Nezumi leant down and took Shion's lips in his once more, this time slipping his tongue along them. Shion accommodated him, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue along Nezumi's. Nezumi was surprised at Shion's ability to kiss so well considering his serious lack of experience. He smiled to himself, and naturally, this did not go unnoticed.
"Huh?" Shion asked, breaking the kiss.
"You," Nezumi responded.
"Me? What'd I do? Am I not doing it right?" he fretted.
"Shhhh, that's not what I meant. You're fine. Good even. I promise."
Shion accepted this with no further questions, but instead, a spark of confidence. He reached up and grabbed Nezumi around his sides, holding him closer. With fistfuls of Nezumi's yellow shirt, he ducked around the blue haired boys face and kissed his neck. He bit the skin lightly, and lapped his tongue over the teeth marks that stayed imprinted in his skin.
Nezumi made all sorts of pleasurable noises over Shion, who was obviously enjoying himself. Nezumi pulled his knees up onto the mattress around Shion's hips so that he was straddling him. He grinned triumphantly at the boy beneath him. He'd had experience with sex before of course, but instead of plunging head first into it, he had to consider something. This was Shion he was dealing with, the sweet little white haired virgin that he'd begun to adore. He would take it slow, make it romantic. He could already tell that the payoff would be well worth the wait and since both of their feelings were out in the open, at least to each other, Nezumi could go to all lengths to convey just how much Shion affected him.
He chuckled under his breath, realizing that all the tension that had just exploded in his den was probably something along the lines of what you'd call 'sexual frustration.' They cooked for each other, spent almost every waking moment together, whether it was intentional or not. Hell, sometimes they even slept next to each other. Mornings could sometimes be awkward once you considered the fact that both boys woke with an almost painful boner and nowhere to run. What better way to start each day than to almost die from embarrassment? Nezumi was a good actor and displayed his lack of care almost as if it were true; Shion on the other hand, did not have that advantage.
Nezumi gently peeled the boy off of him, and told him to relax. Shion seems genuinely surprised, but did as he was told and scooted back on the pillows, closing his eyes and chewing on him bottom lip.
Since he was already on top of Shion, Nezumi took advantage of this position by sliding his hands under the boy's shirt and brushing his lips along the waistline of his pants. Shion shuddered but attempted to stay still when Nezumi shushed him. The blue haired boy stuck out his tongue and licked a trail from Shions left hipbone to his right, back to the middle and up until he dipped it in the others navel. Shion squealed and moved furiously beneath him when Nezumi pulled away to blow. This made his trail cold and apparently tickled like hell. While Shion jerked and giggled, he leant in again and let his lips roam until they found a creamy little bud that decided to peak at the sudden attention. Shion, on the other hand, became silent as a mouse. He let his tongue pass his lips and flicked the nipple back and forth, earning appreciative moans from Shion, who was as incoherent as ever.
When he pulled away, Shion frowned and sat up.
"Why'd you stop?" he wondered.
"Are you wanting me to continue?" Nezumi asked, already knowing the answer.
Shion blushed furiously and lay back down on the pillows.
"Sort of..."
"Sort of? Don't you mean, 'Oh yes, Nezumi the talented? The show must go on!'" he teased.
Nezumi stood and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, moving the kettle onto the stove. He picked up a blanket from the little red couch and tossed it at Shion, who displayed his feeling of abandonment thoroughly.
"Stop with the puppy dog eyes. Cuddle up and stay warm, I'll cook for you tonight." He obliged.
Nezumi decided that wondering the streets as he'd planned didn't sound as entertaining as it had before. He just wanted out of the house, probably just to distract himself. Now, he was happy to stay and treat Shion. After all, Shion had done a lot for him.
Just as Nezumi presumed, Shion was out in the next five minutes. He figured it'd be a few hours before he woke, and he'd just have to continuously reheat his food until that moment came. This was fine with him because he desperately needed something to distract him from all the temptations that flooded through his brain at once.