Title: Between Brothers
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Ron and Hermione
Prompt: 24 - Family
Word Count:4274
Rating: T
Summary:Missing Moment. Ron/Hermione The beginning of the summer of DH Ron asks the twins for some help by spiking a day dream charm and asking her about it's effects as market research.
Author's Notes:This was so much fun to write, it's been in my head forever and was one of the original moments meant for my "Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches" fic. If I ever get to finishing it I'll probably insert it in just the way it is. [insert typical groveling for reviews here]
Between Brothers
Ron sat, staring at the fireplace in the kitchen. He'd been like that for the past half hour turning a small box over in his hand and attempting to make up his mind on whether or not to ask for his brothers help. 'They'll help, they might take the mickey for a bit but they'll help. They gave you the rudding book in the first place, they want things to work out between me and her.' his told himself. He sat for another few minutes and then stood up deliberately. He lifted the lid off the small box on the mantle and threw the powder into the fire. The flames burned bright green then he yelled "Weasleys Wizard Wheezes" and stepped into the in them.
His brain spun as he stepped onto the hearth on the other side. He was standing in the back offices of his brothers shop. He dusted the soot off his clothes and as he entered the bustling sales room his eyes were assaulted by violent shades of every color in the rainbow. Normally he would have loved taking the time to explore the various products contained on the shelves but he was a man on a mission so he headed straight to the counter where his twin brothers were standing. They were laughing as they demonstrated their Headless Hats to a boy of about 13 who seemed to find it rather amusing. He reached his destination just as the boy pocketed the change and took his bag.
"Thank you for your patronage and when your mother asks," Fred said
"Which she will," George interjected.
"Tell her exchanges only on opened merchandise." Fred finished. Ron looked down at them and quietly set the box he'd been fingering in the kitchen down on the worn wooden counter.
"I need your help." He said as authoritatively as he could muster. The twins exchanged loaded looks making Ron instantly regret his decision to confide in them.
"It's 'bout time you cottoned on," Fred smiled as he stepped around the counter and wrapped his much taller baby brother around his shoulder.
"We've been telling you for years you could benefit from our sage wisdom," George followed suit and Ron was now sandwiched between the two awkwardly.
"On life, the universe, everything."
"42!" George exclaimed throwing his free arm into the air. Ron had no idea what they were going on about and was trying to think of ways to back out of the situation entirely.
"I should have known it would be useless to ask you evil little trolls for help." Ron wiggled out from between them and retrieved the box he'd set down on the counter.
"Little git, don't go pocketing our stuff." Fred grabbed the box out of his baby brothers hand.
"It's not yours, I mean it's yours as in you sell it but this particular one happens to belong to me."
"Aww, don't get so riled up ickle Ronnie-kins, just tell us why you're here." George said grabbing the box from Fred and handing it back to Ron. He was indecisive, he couldn't execute his plan without them but he wasn't to keen on sharing the details. It seemed too big a risk that they'd bring it up at the wrong moment and spoil it. They'd enjoy it actually. They must have been able to see his internal struggle on his face because Fred answered his unspoken question.
"What if we promise not to take say anything about this in front of a certain brown eyed friend of yours?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"How did you," but Ron's question was cut off.
"We might be evil little trolls but we're not stupid," George answered.
"Lets not forget we saw your little incident at Kings Cross a few weeks ago."
"I was sure she was going to hex your bits off then and their."
"How do we know she didn't?" At Fred's question George moved as if about to check and Ron threw out his hands.
"Enough, I get it. I'm rubbish with woman. There's not need to check my bits okay." The twins laughed for much longer then Ron felt was necessary so he began tapping his foot impatiently.
"So what is so important about that little box of yours that your willing to risk telling us about it?" George asked as he leaned against the wall behind him.
"I hoping you'd be willing to tweak it a bit for me?"
***
Three days later Ron once again sat at the kitchen table staring at the fireplace anxiously. It had been much more humiliating then he thought possible as he explained to his mischievous brothers what he had in mind exactly. His initial request for the minor modification had been met with the typical jeers and teasing he anticipated, his secondary request however had been considerably worse and to top it all off it hadn't even been worth it! He groaned inwardly as he remembered the exchange.
He'd been about to leave and had debated the whole time whether or not he was willing to ask and had finally decided to risk it. What's the worst thing they could do, right? He reasoned to himself.
"Do you think you could, I don't know," he wasn't sure how to word this with out sounding pervy "amp up the, the uhm, the general steaminess of the entire thing?" What followed could quite possibly be the worst five minutes of his young life. It went beyond the cat calls and suggestive eye brow wiggling of before. They began asking through their intense laughter if they should include specific things. Listing off different scenarios in excruciating details. When he'd told them to bugger off it only elicited more mockery. Fred insisted they only wanted to help, ya know get the specifics down of what he was thinking. He was mortified and humiliated and to top it all off it hadn't even been worth it.
"Sorry we can't help you out there ya little pervert," George finally answered.
"Yeah the charm is based off of what your subconscious builds for it."
"If the user isn't ready for anything beyond a quick peck on the cheek,"
"Then that is where the 'steaminess' will have to end." Fred finished as they both erupted in to fits of laughter again. Ron muttered a strangled thanks. They had hit upon the very thing he had feared. The most intimate exchange he'd shared with Hermione had indeed been a quick peck on the cheek.
Hermione's voice brought him out of his remembrance of just a few days past.
"Ron are you alright?" She placed a hand on his forehead. Her skin felt cool against his own flushed face and he was disappointed when the comforting contact disappeared.
"Oh yeah, why?" Ron muttered shaking his head as if it would free him from the anxiety he felt.
"It's just that you've been staring out at nothing for a quarter of an hour now and if you don't mind me saying, you look a little green." She sat down next to him, keeping her eyes on him appraisingly.
"Just thinking, about stuff." It sounded lame, even to himself, but her faced softened at his words and she began to gently brush his hair behind his ear affectionately.
"I understand, I get that way too sometimes." Ron didn't bother to correct her inaccurate assumption that he was dwelling on things of a more grave and serious nature. Instead he focused all his conscious thought on the nimble fingers now stroking the hair at the back of his neck delicately. He felt his body begin to respond to her gentle caresses and was suddenly glad he was leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees, making any physical responses they may or may not be happening inside of his trousers impossible to see.
Her hand moved downward and she began to scratch his back, he let his head lob forward as her ministrations began to bring up some of the less seedy situations that Fred and George had used to embarrass him, and perhaps a few of the decidedly more seedy ones as well.
"That feels nice." He got out finally, his voice was strained a little and he couldn't keep a blush from forming in embarrassment at how obvious the effect she had on him must be.
"Any time." Her voice was soft and demure. In his minds eye she was saying it to him seductively, looking at him through her long thick eyelashes. He conjured up an image of her wrapped only in a bed sheet, her shoulders and the entire length of her back exposed. 'Any time' the Hermione in his mind repeated.
'HAGRID IN A THONG, HAGRID IN A THONG' he screamed at himself. He had to rather forcefully remind himself that he was in the middle of the kitchen with most of his family bustling around him preparing for Sunday dinner in a few hours. Now was not the time to indulge in such things. He did however make a mental note of exactly how her voice sounded, for later.
The fireplace he'd been staring at just minutes before lite up with bright green flames and the twins walked through happily.
"Hello family unit," George walked over and hugged his mum warmly.
"How are you doing on the fine Sunday afternoon?" Fred followed suit and also gave his mum a hug before they both turned to the room at large. His eyes searched out Ron and when they met Fred gave a small knowing wink. 'Yes' his insides roared, they'd finished it in time. They had refused to confirm with him when they'd be able to have it done and he was relieved it wouldn't have to wait any longer.
"We were hoping you guys could help us with a little market research." George asked to Ginny, Ron and Hermione all three sitting at the table.
"I'm not eating anything." Ginny interjected, 'Smart girl' Ron thought.
"Nothing of the sort dear skiddish sister," Fred laughed as he leaned down and pulled her into a tight one armed embraced.
"Today we are just testing updated versions,
"of things we already sell." And with that George reached his hand into the bag and pulled out a three boxes of various size and shape. He offered one to Ginny with a flourish.
"The latest edition of our deluxe Hands free Harness, for Arnold." Ginny eyed him skeptically.
"What was wrong with it before?" She'd been their sibling far too long to not be suspensions.
"Well it's been spelled so that when you put it on they can wander about the house freely but with an enclosure charm that keeps the furry little devils from getting outside." Fred answered.
"It was having problems with second story window for some reason, so we just had to work out the kinks in the wand work."
"We're just hoping you would test it out for us." Fred asked in an overly wide smile.
"I'm not throwing Arnold out the window." Ginny dead panned, but she took the offered box anyway.
"And for you Ickle Ronnie-kins," Does he really have to do that in front of Hermione? Fred rumpled his hair as George spoke the dreadful nickname He took their ribbing better than usual because they were doing him a favor after all.
"Our new Guaranteed eight-second pimple vanisher."
"We know how much you loved our old ten-second version."
"And we've adjusted the balance of hellebore and it happened to shaved off two additional seconds." George finished with a wide wicked grin on his face, it was like he was daring Ron to be and a prat about it. He took it without a word and bit back the numerous retorts that flashed through his mind.
"Last but not least," Fred took the only remaining box from George and handed it to Hermione with another grand flourish of his hands.
"The new and improved Patented Day Dream Charm." George finished and Ron watched as Hermione blushed as she accepted the proffered octagonal pink and orange stripped box.
"New and improved how exactly?" She asked, also having enough history with the twins to be cautious.
"We just played with a few thematic elements." George smirked while he waved his hands in the air dramatically.
"Since you were so keen on the first edition,"
"We just thought we'd ask you to review the updated one and compare them for us."
"Or was that another Hermione Granger at Hogwarts School, Gryffindor table ordering about half a dozen every week for half the year?" Hermione blushed at Fred's words and began to closely inspect the box without another word on the matter.
'Half a dozen every week?' Ron eyes Hermione curiously. He didn't quite know what to make of this new information.
"Just tell us how it compares to the previous version."
"Any character changes." At Fred's words Ron fidgeted in his seat, he though perhaps they were laying it on a little thick. Would she figure out they'd spiked it at his request?
"I'll make sure to be as thorough as possible." Hermione said looking at the floor with her cheeks bright pink.
"Oh, yes. We'd love to hear as much details as you can provide."
"It really helps our product development to get all the information we can." Although their voices gave nothing away, both twins eyed Ron with a glint of satisfaction.
***
Ron looked at the clock again, this was surely the longest half hour of his life. The clock seemed to tick at an excruciatingly slow pace. For a while he thought perhaps the twins had charmed it that way just to torture him but when he checked the pocket watch he'd been given for his birthday it too was ticking away just as slowly.
Hermione was curled up in a chair by the window, staring out with an odd vacant expression on her face. He wondered about the new found knowledge of her habitual use of them over the last year. He tried to recollect a time when she'd sat so still with the same vacant expression on her face as watched her from behind a batter copy of 'Flying with the Canon's'. He hoped no one was watching too closely because he hadn't even once attempted to actually look like he was reading. He instead was staring at her with a curious expression on his face.
What was she thinking right now? He wished they'd thought of coming up with a way to spy on the day dreams or something because this was torture. Was she wrapped up in visions of him holding her in his arms as he sat there only a few feet away from her? They said it was based off of your subconscious thoughts, did her subconscious end at a simple pack on the cheek. Ron knew for damned sure he had visions of her that reached far beyond that.
He watched as she licked her lips sensually and he couldn't be sure but he was almost certain she had just moaned softly. He studied her carefully, doing his best to deciphers her every move. She slowly pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it the most titillating fashion.
At last the longest half hour in history ticked to a close and he watched as her vacant stare blinked into her normal expression. She glanced over at Ron who was still staring at her and she blushed more deeper than he thought anyone outside the Weasley family was capable of doing.
"I guess I should report to Fred and George." She muttered quietly before getting up quickly and leaving the room in a hurry. He let her leave but once the door closed behind her he followed suit. The plan had been to let her report to Fred and George and they would in turn tell him, but all the sudden that seemed like a terrible idea. He wanted to hear it from her, to decipher every expression she made while talking. He pushed through the door and the kitchen's occupants stared at him.
"What, I'm hungry." he walked in and did his best to pretend to ignore the three gathered around the butcher block island in the center of the cramped kitchen. He slowly slid open the bread box and they began talking again as he busied himself.
"I have to tell you again what an ingenious bit of magic that is. It's not just a story playing in your head you have the capacity of all of your senses. I can smelt the salt coming from the sea, I can feel the wind blowing through my hair. It's quite extraordinary." Ron watched out of the corner of his eye as the twins grinned at her praises.
"Coming from you that really is quite the compliment, not only are you a frequent user which means that that charm doesn't diminish over time, which we had concerns about." George explained.
"Yeah aside from that, you're really much to bright for your own good so it means that if it'll impress you, it'll impress anyone." Ron grew annoyed as he watched Hermione grin as Fred's compliment. 'Stop talking business already and get on with it.' He walked over to the cupboard and pulled out the magically chilled lunch meat.
"Well that being said I don't have much else to add. I couldn't really notice any significant difference in plot or theme." Ron's heart swelled as he adjusted the turkey on the bread.
"Nothing at all, no new hero or changes in villain?" George probed.
"No, not at all. It had all the usual characters." At this Ron dropped the knife he had been spreading mustard with onto the floor with a loud clatter.
"Oh well," said Fred, feigning disappointment. "Well just have to keep playing with it."
"I wouldn't bother, I think it currently plays out just wonderfully. This one has always been one of my favorites, though your Camelot one is rather nice as well." She turned to leave but then stopped herself and added.
"I would put a stronger warning on them though or perhaps even keep them behind a counter so younger witches and wizards don't get into them." She was blushing again. Ron decided he loved it when she blushed.
"What makes you say that?" asked George and he shot a stealthy glanced over at Ron with a twinkle in his eye.
"Well it's just, well" Hermione coughed a little, obviously uncomfortable. "Certain portions are a bit on the adult side and I just don't want anyone not of a certain age getting ahold of them."
"How so, I don't mean to pry but it would be really helpful if you could give us details." Fred was both evil and wonderful in that moment. As much as he was dying to hear what she had to say he would have preferred to keep his brothers out of the conversation.
"The bits at the end are," She glanced over at Ron who had stopped with his hand mid air with a piece of cheese dangling a few inches about the counter. He started moving again, and in his haste to act normally he knocked the package of cheese to the floor with his elbow. He leaned down to get it and heard her say. "The climax at the end might be a bit intense for younger people." Ron smacked his head on the overhang at these words and was rubbing his head when he stood up. He didn't dare look at them. His mind was racing at the implications of these words.
"Well thank you Hermione," George said.
"Yeah, we really applicate the input."
'Wait, why were are they letter her leave? Isn't she suppose to give a detailed account for them? Didn't she say she'd be very thorough?' Ron's head was left spinning as she walked out of the room.
"Bloody hell you're a lucky bloke!" Exclaimed George as he punched Ron's arm.
"You didn't get anything out of her? What happened in it or anything. No descriptions or anything!" Ron was indigent. He'd put up with a huge amount of humiliation for this and they had just let her walk out the door.
"What sort of pervert do you take us for?" Questioned Fred with a voice rich with false hurt.
"Yeah, it's one thing to have a girl tell you about her fantasies it's quite another to hear about them when they involve your baby brother." George shivered in mock revulsion.
"How do you know it worked?" Ron took a large bit of his sandwich hoping it would help hide some of the insecurity he felt.
"Oh we tried it out first." Answered George. Ron was completely grossed out by the idea and apparently it was evident on his face because Fred answered his unspoken question.
"Not on ourselves to twat! We asked Verity to do it for us. Which we had her do on the clock thank you very much you ungrateful little git."
"Yeah and then we showed her a pictures of about a dozen guys, including Percy, and Charlie so she wouldn't just go off of someone familiar looking."
"She picked you out of the bunch no problem."
"Also she said that if it doesn't work out between you and Hermione that you could give her a call." George seemed to find this point particularly funny and in response Fred punched him in the arm. George stepped back rubbing the spot with a wide grin on his face.
"It's not my fault she fancied our younger brother over you." George called out as he stepped away from Fred advancing toward him with his arm pulled back ready to pummel him again.
"She doesn't fancy him you dunderhead, she fancies a dream guy her subconscious created that we magically contorted to resemble him." Despite his words Fred seemed to deflate a little. Ron was at a lose for words by the exchange. Never had he seen the twins turn their teasing towards each other before.
"Why don't you just ask her out?" Ron asked through a mouth full of turkey sandwich.
"Pot calling the cauldron black much?" Fred retorted. "Besides, I'm her boss, it's not exactly appropriate." At this Ron laughed so hard he started to gag on the half chewed bits he hadn't swallowed yet.
"Never thought you'd be too concerned about what's appropriate or not." Ron choked out once he was sure he could breath safely again.
"Didn't I just help you with a huge favor? How about you stop ragging on me you little wanker." Fred smiled mischievously and George picked right up where Fred's thoughts took him.
"Speaking of which, you've got to be stoked about how this turned out." Ron just sighed and leaned against the wall behind him.
"Wished you'd gotten a bit more out of her though."
"Are you kidding? You got a lot more out of her then I thought you would," answered George.
"Think about what you know now that you didn't before," Fred chimed in.
"At this point all I know is that she had a day dream and I was in it, and I only know that if I trust you guys that it works." Ron said still sulking a bit.
"He really isn't that bright is he Forge?"
"No, not really Gred." But Fred continued on before Ron could object.
"Being the good brothers that we are, we looked up the specifics on exactly how many of our day dream charms your little bookworm ordered and in the last year, all clustered up in between mid November and the end of March she's ordered 137. That's like one everyday for five months."
"Hey Fred how long was our little Ronnie here dating Lavender?"
"Well George if I remember correctly the answer to that is just shy of five months."
"What a strange coincidence, wouldn't you say Fred?"
"Yes, a very strange and completely unrelated coincidence." Fred cocked his head to the side as if he were explaining a very basic topic to a very dumb person.
"I believe she also said this one, which we know you were staring in was, how did she phrase it again?"
"'had all the usual characters'"
"Wouldn't that imply all 137 of those also starred our dear dim witted brother." George asked in mock confusion.
"Yes I do believe it does."
"Oh but we haven't even come to the best part,"
"No, the best part was what she volunteered all on her own."
"Yes, I believe it was something along the lines of an intense climax not suitable for younger children." Fred gave Ron a knowing look and before he knew it a wide grin was plastered across his own bright red face.
"She did say that didn't she." Ron reflected on what his brothers said, still grinning and shuffling his feet a little, unable to contain his sudden excitement.
"Hallelujah! He gets it ladies and gentleman." Fred and George simultaneously adopted the pose of choristers and sang out in a high falsetto harmonizing with each other. Ron couldn't help but wonder if they practiced doing things like this when they were alone.
"Yeah yeah, I'm really dim, I get it, I get it." They spent the next few seconds pushing each other affectionately before Ron stopped and said. "Thanks you guys, you're both wankers but I appreciate it."
"What else are brothers for little brother?"