The Deconstruction of Mr K

by Daemon McRae

A one-shot story about the S.O.S. Brgade's Halloween. Written for MLSF Fanfic Challenge #25. Rated T (almost M) for language and disturbing imagery.

Author's Note: Written for the Halloween Challenge of the Mostly Lucky Star Forum. This story depicts people and events that are works of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons or places is mere coincidence. Any relation to your own inner demons, well...

That's your problem.

The Deconstruction of Mr. K

Most mornings, my routine is pretty well set in stone. Much like everyone else's. Getting dressed, getting ready for school. Breakfast. Nothing really unique about it, save for a small change. Imperceptible, really. Quite literally a passing thought. You see, for as long as I don't want to remember, my first thought every morning has always been: "What has Haruhi done this time?"

For you see, I don't actually live a regular, routine life. My little getting ready for school ceremony at the beginning of the day is really the only thing I look forward to. Because it's the most normal I get to be all day. The rest of the day, even up to the time I go to bed, I'm "Haruhi's Friend." And Haruhi, as anyone reading this should know full well by now, is not normal.

But I'm starting to digress. The short and skinny of it is, this was one of those few and far between mornings where my first concern wasn't how Haruhi might ruin my day.

That should have been my first clue that something was Horribly Wrong With the World.

Of course, I'd always assumed that the world was horribly wrong, so I guess I could understand an oversight like that.

My second, more glaringly obvious clue, which I had taken note of, in passing, came soon after I'd arrived at school. I was just getting my shoes out of my locker, when I happened to bump into someone, in passing, that I didn't recognize. Or see, at first, given how she was so short.

I grunted, slightly, as I felt something small nd peculiar run into my chest. I looked down to see an orange-haired girl I didn't know glare up at me. "Watch where you're goin' y' fat oaf," she grumbled, and stormed past me. I didn't think much of her attitude, knowing someone with a quite similar demeanor. It actually gave me comfort in knowing that women being rude and aggressive wasn't just limited to Miss Suzumiya. Yet another point for normalcy.

I turned to stare after her and offer an apology, when a few other students waved to her from the door. "Sami, come on! We're going to be late!" someone called. A male, I guessed, although I didn't care enough to look at the time.

I waved a little at her, offering an apologetic smile. Her frown diminished somewhat, which I took as a good sign. I followed up with "Sorry," and she turned and walked off.

"At least you understand," she said as she walked away.

Just another great day in the neighborhood.

Class itself was rather subdued, even with Suzumiya drawing... something... frantically throughout class. I saw Sami again, sitting off in the corner of the room. Had she transferred in earlier, and I just not notice? The teacher didn't introduce her, and the rest of the class acted like they'd all seen her before, so I figured I'd just been too caught up in Haruhi's antics to really pay attention.

The next big clue, although I wouldn't know it until later (too late), came at lunch. We'd all taken to eating lunch in the clubroom, because Haruhi had decided that one meeting a day wasn't enough. As Mikuru was pouring some tea, Haruhi still spent her time drawing away on whatever she was working on.

Koizumi was the first to ask, bless the bastard. "Ms. Suzumiya, what are you working on?" he inquired sweetly. The kind of sweet you feel in the back of your throat right before the knockout gas kicks in.

Haruhi held up her drawing for all to see, more than pleased with herself. It was a doodle, or rather, almost a professional-grade drawing, of several demons and ghosts all about a haunted house. "It's Halloween tomorrow!" she declared. We all pretty much knew that, but we'd been expecting her to have some great big scheme drummed up, or some near impossible task for us to do to mark the occasion. Instead, she just went back to drawing.

"Is that it?" I asked snidely. Although my poor attitude had become a regular thing around here, so no one really paid attention when I had something to say. Least of all Haruhi. "I figured we'd get some big speech about how 'The veil is thinnest on Hallow's Eve' or some ridiculous chore to go find some goblins and string them up like Christmas lights."

Koizumi gave me that all-too-agreeable smile. "I'm sure Ms. Suzumiya has something planned. Right?" he asked, turning his head to look at our club leader.

She just held up the drawing again. Something was different about it, but I couldn't put my finger on it just yet. "It's Halloween!" she exclaimed again, and went back to drawing.

I raised an eyebrow at her, but at that point the bell rang.

On the way back to class, I again ran into someone I didn't know. A delinquent-looking fellow with blonde hair, who wore his uniform almost in tatters. It looked a little stained. He just grunted at me and kept walking. I stopped a girl walking past and asked her, "Hey, is he OK?" I turned to point at the guy, who turned into another hallway just as I'd gestured at him.

"Oh, that must be Ha-san," said the girl.

I turned to look at her. "Who?" I asked, but she was gone. Well, the bell had just rung, anyway. I figured everyone was in a hurry.

I really don't like being wrong.

Back in class, everyone seemed to be going about their business. Some were discussing plans for the upcoming holiday. Others were busy with their schoolwork.

Ms. Suzumiya, of course, disregarded everyone in favor of doing whatever she felt like. At the time, this included drawing. I glanced over her desk to get a look at the picture again, and noticed, again, that it was different. I just couldn't figure out how. I knew it'd bug me until I did, but knowing her, she'd tell me something like 'If you can't figure it out, what use are you?'

The teacher called attention for the class, and started the lesson. This period was history. "Can anyone tell me the origins of this legend," he asked. "Yes, Miss Hina?"

I looked up at the speaker. It was Sami, the girl I'd bumped into earlier. "The origins of the Jack-o-lantern have been retold many times," Sami started. "But the oldest of these stories is of an Englishman named Jack. Jack was an alcoholic and an abusive man. He lived so viciously that, upon time of this death on All Hallow's Eve, the Devil came to collect the man himself. Jack begged for his life, which the Devil wouldn't let him have. So eventually, Jack settled for asking for a last drink from his favorite bar. This, the devil agreed to. When it came time to pay for his drinks, Jack told the Devil that he was just a coin short of the bill, and asked the Devil if he could turn into a coin so Jack could pay for the drinks. Again, the Devil agreed.

"At that point, Jack took the devil and dropped him into his coin purse, which had a silver cross stitched into it. The Devil was trapped. He demanded to be let out, and Jack told him, 'Only if you let me live another year!' Always a man of his word when it came to making deals, the Devil agreed. Jack used the Devil to pay for the drinks, and lived on. He'd even vowed to change his ways, so the Devil couldn't come for him again."

At that point, I heard someone laughing quietly in the back of the classroom. A tall, lanky boy with short black hair. I could swear he hadn't been there before... did we have that many rows in this class?

Sami turned to pout at him. "Ji-chan! I'm trying to tell the story!"

'Ji-chan' waved a hand, trying to control his laughter. "Go on, go on. I just love this one," he chuckled.

Sami fumed a bit, but carried on. "However, Jack wasn't able to change his ways so easily. He kept putting it off, wanting to stay in his old lifestyle just a little bit longer. Until finally, the Devil came for him again. And off the Devil and Jack went to Hell. On the way, Jack spotted an apple tree, and asked the devil to stop. Again, he begged for his life, and again, the Devil said no. So Jack asked, 'Fine, but can I have one last bite to eat before I die?' The Devil, tired of his whining, agreed. So Jack went to the base of the tree, and reached for an apple. Only he couldn't. So he asked the Devil, 'Hey, can you get on my shoulders? The only apples that aren't spoiled are way up there!' The Devil went along with Jack, and climbed up onto his shoulders. Jack then hoisted him into the tree, to get the apples up top.

"Once the Devil was full in the tree, Jack whipped out a pen-knife, and carved a cross in the tree. Again, the Devil was stuck. 'Let me down, you bastard!' yelled the devil. But Jack shook his head. 'You gotta promise never to take me to hell!' Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. No one soul was worth an eternity in an apple tree. Jack scratched out the cross, and the Devil left. About a year later, Jack died. Again. He never did change his ways. So there he stood, at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter took one look at his wretched soul and cast him out. And on to hell he went. He stopped at the gates, and banged on the bars. 'Hey, Devil, let me in!' he cried."

I was a little uneasy at that point. She'd been talking awhile. Usually the teacher would have had her sit down or something by now. Although it looked like the teacher wasn't really paying that much attention.

But she still carried on. "The Devil came to the gate, and waved Jack away. 'A deal's a deal, Jack. You're never getting in here!' 'But how am I supposed to find my way back?' Jack cried. The Devil took pity, and hollowed out a turnip for him. He carved it out, and dropped a red-hot coal in it, turning it into a lantern. And with that, Jack walked home. Not allowed into heaven or hell, Jack stayed a dead soul, using his Devil's Lantern to lure people to their deaths, the mean old man that he always was."

The teacher finally looked up. "Very good, Sami. Now, moving on..." he trailed off, and class resumed like normal. Boring, kind of tedious. Sami sat down without another word, although Ji-chan still looked highly amused.

I faintly registered the scratching of Haruhi's pencil as she drew.

After class, I went back to club as usual. Koizumi was there. And Mikuru. Even Nagato sat in the corner. Haruhi, however, hadn't shown up yet. Which didn't surprise me. She had a tendency to burst through the door up to an hour late with something extravagant planned. So we sat, and did whatever it was we felt like doing.

It was on my fourth game of chess that I realized something was amiss. Haruhi still hadn't shown up yet. Now, Koizumi is significantly better at chess than I am, so our games tended to be short. But still, it felt later than that. Like a couple of hours had passed. I looked around the room, and saw that Nagato had started a second book. And Mikuru was messing around on the computer, where Haruhi usually sat. Koizumi just stared across the table, and told me, "It's your move."

"Just a second," I told him. I got up and walked out of the clubroom, glancing up and down the hall. No one was there. This didn't surprise me, as most clubs were either dismissed by now, or on other floors.

I went to sit back down, and as I took my seat, Koizumi reminded me, "It's your move."

"Yeah," I grumbled. And went back to playing.

At the end of the game, I'd decided I'd had enough of chess, and at that point wanted to go home. So I put the board and pieces away, while Koizumi sat quietly, most likely considering what game to play next, or whether or not he should go home, as well. I gathered my things, and left the room. As I closed the door, however, I thought I heard Koizumi say, "It's your move."

I must have stayed later than I thought, or it's getting darker earlier. The school was almost pitch black as I wandered the halls to the entrance. Seeing as how there was no one there, I figured they'd all gone home. I made my way down the stairs, letting my mind wander. I almost reveled in the fact that today was as normal a day as I'd seen in a long time. I got so distracted in my own thoughts, however, that I tripped over my own two feet on the last stair. I stumbled forwards, lifting my arms to brace myself against the message board on the wall in front of me.

There was an obvious thud as I hit the wall, but something felt odd. Looking up, I realized I hadn't hit the message board. Just blank wall. I glanced behind me, and saw that I had another set of steps to go. I guess I hadn't gone as far as I'd thought. Serves me right for not paying attention. I made my way down the other flight of steps, keeping an eye out for the message board, because, as I was thinking about it, it might be a good idea to see if Haruhi left something up there we were supposed to read. It's happened before, without her telling us. And we usually got yelled at for not seeing it.

Upon reaching the landing for the last flight of stairs, however, I saw that the message board wasn't here either. Had they moved it, I wondered. I glanced behind me, and saw yet more stairs. A flight going up, and one going down. Just like the floor above me. This struck me as odd, because our school only has three floors, so there shouldn't be two of them that have stairs in both directions. Unless...

I smacked myself in the forehead. Of course. I wasn't used to walking in the dark, and must have gone down the wrong set of steps. These new stairs down must lead to the basement, and all the storage rooms. That's why there was no message board here.

Rather pleased with my deductions, I tired to figure out which way the front entrance was. I wouldn't be able to see much out the windows, at this time of night. I figured since I missed my set of stairs, and I usually take the first one from the right of the clubroom, that I must have walked too far.

So I decided to walk left. Once I found the message board, it was a simple matter of taking another left, and following the hall until I came to the shoe lockers. So I went walking.

The shoe lockers would be easy to spot, even given how dark it was, and getting more so, I noticed, and even if I was only half paying attention. So I let my mind wander. I tried to think of what Haruhi could have planned for Halloween tomorrow. Wondering what kind of costume she'd wear. If she'd show up in the bunny outfit again, or if she'd come up with something new. And what would she have Mikuru wear, I wondered...

I realized at that point that I wasn't paying attention at all, which I'd already figured out got me into trouble in the dark, so I decided to set my eyes forward and march on. At which point I came up the side of a set of stairs. The stairs I was supposed to have taken! That means the message board should be right-

-here. Where's the message board, I wondered. I stared back the way I came. It looked like the right hallway... at least I thought so. I glanced around the corner, down the other hallway. This looked right, too. Hell, I could see the gap in the wall where the lockers were. They must have taken down the message board, or moved it somewhere. Of course, I may just be remembering it wrong.

And then it occurred to me. They must be making room for Halloween decorations! I felt like slapping myself in the forehead again, but it still hurt from the first time. Having calmed down a little bit (why was I breathing hard?) I made my way to the shoe locker. I was surprised, almost relieved, to see I wasn't the only one down here. There, between the rows of lockers, was Sami. She was just in the middle of changing her shoes.

"Hello," I said, happy for another face in the darkness. If not friendly, at least familiar.

She glanced up. "Oh, it's you," she deadpanned, looking back to her feet.

I felt a little insulted. "Hey, what-"

"Sorry about earlier," she interjected. She stood up straight, looking at me. "I have a lot to do tonight, and I guess I've been on edge. I don't think I introduced myself earlier when you tried to mow me down." I felt like saying something, but she was smiling. I figured she was just messing with me, which I'm more used to than I should be. "I'm Sami. Sami Hina." She held her hand out to shake mine. Her hand felt, I don't know, weird. It was like I could still feel her hand on mine, even after I'd let go. Like how you see a spider in the room and suddenly you could feel them all over you.

"I'm Kyon," I told her, feeling kind of stupid for not introducing myself faster. I was kind of distracted by her handshake. She nodded, and kept smiling.

"Well, Kyon, I better be going. Lots to do," she said, and walked off. It wasn't until she was gone that I realized she'd left her locker door open. I figured she'd come back for it, and went about changing into my tennis shoes. Since she didn't come back by the time I was done, I decided just to close her locker door for her. As I did so, however, I noticed something odd.

It wasn't until I was walking away, towards the grounds, that I realized what it was. Why had she been changing into her school shoes?

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

As I walked through the front door to school the next morning, I realized right away that something was wrong. I was the only one at the shoe lockers. That meant I was late! I rushed down the halls, peeking into the classrooms to make sure I was right, and I was. Every class had students sitting in them, already laboring away.

I hauled ass to my classroom, and sat down in my seat. I glanced around to see the general reaction, because that's what you do when you know you've caused some kind of a scene. Most people didn't even look up. Sami just rolled her eyes, and that kid in the back of the class, Ji, chuckled and hunched over his paper. I glanced behind me at Haruhi. "So, what'd I miss?"

She took the paper she'd been drawing on, held it up to me, and declared, "It's Halloween!"

I don't know why, but I got angry. I snatched the paper out of her hands, slamming it down on my desk. She hunched over, apparently upset, so I tried to apologize. "Look, that was rude, I'm sorry. But I could use your help. I'm never this late," I whispered. "What are we working on?"

And then I knew something was Horribly Wrong With the World. As she mimicked holding a paper up again, and repeated, "It's Halloween!" Then she hunched over again. And I saw that she was still 'drawing'.

Panicked, more than a little, I looked at the picture she'd been working on. And it finally hit me what was wrong with it, every time I'd looked at the thing. It hadn't changed since the first time I saw it. All those hours working on the picture, and it was still exactly the same?

That's just Not Right.

I stood up, and shook her by the shoulders. "Haruhi? Haruhi!"

"It's Halloween!"

I backed away as she hunched over again. She didn't even move for the paper. I bumped into the person behind me, someone I'd been sitting next to for awhile, but never really paid attention to. As I turned around to apologize, I watched her fall down.

Still siting. Still hunched over. Like she'd been to the taxidermist since I last saw her. I glanced around the class, and saw that, aside form Haruhi, no one was even moving their pencils. Well, almost no one.

I stood uncertainly as Sami and Ji stood up, both staring at me. Ji smiled recklessly, while Sami just sighed. "Oh, Kyon. What are we going to do with you?" she asked quietly.

Ji grinned at me, wide and almost angry. "You just had to be different, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about?!" I yelled, panicked. "What happened to everyone? What's wrong with Haruhi?!"

Ji shook his head. "Relax, they're all fine. We're still working on them, is all. We'd be done by now if someone wasn't so damn lazy..." he tilted his head in Sami's direction.

She got indignant. "Hey, I pulled an all-niter! It's your fault we missed one!" she pouted.

Ji just shrugged. "Oh, well. It's not like we can't fix it," he said, pulling out a small knife.

I started to freak out at that point. Who takes a knife to school, I thought. Which, in hindsight, probably should have been my least concern at the time.

I didn't stay around to find out what he meant by 'fix'. I ran down the aisle of desks, and out the door. They didn't try to stop me. Although, as I ran down the hall, I heard Ji call behind me, "Run run run as fast as you can, I'm still gonna carve you, gingerbread man!"

My feet took that as the appropriate cue to run faster, please.

I ran as hard as I could to what I figured was the safest place I could think of- the S.O.S. Brigade club room. I threw open the door, and almost collapsed in relief as I saw the rest of the group there. Koizumi at the table, Nagato in her usual corner, and Mikuru... still at the computer? I told myself not to worry just yet. There was still hope. I made a beeline for Nagato.

I didn't even get halfway across the room before Koizumi spoke. "It's your move."

At first, when he started the sentence, I was excited to hear his voice. For once. As I turned to look at him, and let him finish the statement, I could only assume the expression on my face was that of abstract horror.

Koizumi hadn't moved. He was still leaning on his arms, staring at the table like the chessboard was still there. I gave up on him and moved for Mikuru. I shoved her a bit, but she seemed entranced by whatever was on the screen. She just kept typing. I glanced over her shoulder to see what she'd been writing.

And backed into the wall. The screen in front of me was just a wall of text:

It'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloween it'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweeni t'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit 'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit' shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit' shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit' shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit' shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit' shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shalloweenit'shallo

And she just kept typing, over and over. Never stopping, not even looking away from the screen. I glanced down at the number of pages she'd typed up. Thirteen hundred. She'd been typing since last night. I looked over to Nagato. My last chance. It looked like she was on her fifth or sixth book. This was a good sign, as it meant she'd been doing more than the same motion over and over since then. I shook her shoulder gently. She didn't look up.

I glanced over her shoulder at the book she was reading:

It's Halloween by It's Halloween

Chapter One: It's Halloween

Followed by the same great big wall of text that Mikuru was typing. The same phrase, over and over. I looked at the stack of books. They were all the same book. Different bindings, different backgrounds. But they were all It's Halloween by It's Halloween.

I had to get out of that room. There had to be somewhere in this school I could go that they hadn't gotten to yet. They'd said themselves they weren't done.

As I turned the knob to open the door to get the hell out of there, I heard shuffling behind me. I whipped around, both because my nerves were on edge and because some small part of me hoped that the noise meant they were snapping out of it.

I wish. Oh how I wish.

They all stood up, the three of them, backs straight, and turned their heads to face me.

"Happy Halloween," they all said. Again, I could tell something was wrong. Then they said it again. "Happy Halloween."

And again. "Happy Halloween." And Again. And again.

It didn't take me long to figure out what, aside from the glaringly obvious, was wrong. It first hit me as I looked to Koizumi, who had started to move first. He shuffled towards me, as if on numb legs. "Happy Halloween," he told me.

In Nagato's voice.

"Happy Halloween," Nagato told me. In Mikuru's voice.

"Happy Halloween," Mikuru told me. Koizumi's voice came out.

And they all shuffled at me. Slow, tedious. "Happy Halloween."

And I ran.

I booked it for the exit, running as hard as I could. Down the stairs, down the halls. I didn't stop for my shoes at the locker. I ran as hard as I could, and all but broke down the gates as I rushed through them. My head down, eyes closed, running like my life depended on it. Till I tripped on a rock.

I hit the ground like a ton of bricks, and the air rushed out of me like I was vomiting.

I laid there for a second, catching my breath, and looked up to see how far I'd gone.

And saw the front doors of the school in front of me. I glanced behind me in panic, and saw the lip of the sidewalk I'd tripped over as I ran at the building. Beyond that, I could see the gate: crashed in, like a bull had torn it down. Bent in the same direction I'd come from. But hadn't I run out of the gate?

Then a stark realization hit me, as I slowly turned my head. The doors. They'd been different when I looked at them. Older. I looked up from my spot on the ground, and stared blankly at what was now a set of wooden double-doors, staring blankly back. I noticed one of them was open, just a crack. Like it was daring me to open it.

I don't know what possessed me to walk back into that building. I don't know if I'll ever find out. But I did. And I will always wish I hadn't.

What stood before me wasn't the school anymore. I can't say I've ever seen a structure like it. Whatever it is Sami and Ji were working on, they seem to have finished.

The walls were, as best I can describe, a tie-dye of blacks. You'd think that when someone paints something black, that's it. But no. This was... a variety. A series of progressively darker shades of what I thought was already pitch black. And it was moving. All of the different shades were moving into and around each other. As if competing for space. I tried to look elsewhere, at the floors, and the ceiling. The floor looked like carpet. I say looked, because at that point I couldn't have been sure. The tiny threads looked like wheat swaying in the breeze. It was the same shade of off-white tan as human skin. And altogether more disturbing.

The ceiling wasn't much better. At first glance it looked like glass. Like a mirror. But as I moved my arms and legs, to test it, I realized it wasn't a reflection. I gave it a few hard knocks, and the me in the ceiling knocked back, but with the wrong hand. The tink tink tink sound it made was that of an old cathode-ray tube television. I was looking at a screen. Watching myself watch myself.

I decided to try my luck back outside. At which point the doors decided that that was enough of that. They'd slammed shut before I could get within an inch of them, and refused to budge once I'd reached them. As I shook the door handles with vigor inspired by fear, I heard a soft, tinkling laugh. A child's laugh. One of a little girl.

Then another joined it. It sounded almost the same. But just different enough to be in contrast. Then another, and another. Each different enough to alienate itself from the other voices, until the hall was filled with the cacophony of laughter and my ears felt to burst trying to differentiate them all. I fell to my knees with the pain, covering my ears, when suddenly it all stopped.

I glanced up, to see what new horror this place had brought that it felt the need to stop torturing me with the joyful sounds of children. There, at the foot of the stairs in front of me (where I was positive no stair had been before), stood Sami. She brushed off the seat of her dress, now that of an old Victorian china doll, and sat herself happily down, her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at me.

"Well, Kyon, it looks like you're having some trouble. I'd ask if you liked what we've done with the place, but seeing as how you want to get out so badly, I can only assume I already know the answer," she stood up, and walked over to me. She draped a comforting arm around me, and I flinched away, unconsciously, shutting my eyes and closing my ears in protest to her presence. "I wish you'd be more appreciative, little mister," she told me. "We're only doing what your friend wanted us to."

I wanted to look up, wanted to glare at her, and yell that none of my friends, not even Haruhi, would have wanted this. She still held on to my shoulder. "Oh, yes. You're friend practically begged. And then we hopped the first emergency train here, and have been working tirelessly ever since. I wish I could say it was all my doing, but really, that'd be just selfish of me."

Even with my hands clamped around my ears, I could still hear her perfectly. Although she sounded like she was moving farther and farther away. The only thing convincing me she was still there was her grip on my shoulders. I thought I was losing my mind.

"Well, I better get going. We're nearly done, and the last part is always the best. Just to sit back and see what you've made, am I right?" she squealed with laughter. I thought I heard her clapping her hands. Her voice sounded like an echo now, like she was talking down a long hallway. But still she held on to me.

"Bye bye, Kyon!" she yelled, from afar, and I heard little footsteps running off in the distance.

But she wasn't going to fool me. I could still feel her on my back. I chanced open an eye, glancing at where I knew she was sitting, only to see that she'd vanished entirely. I stood up like a shot.

The sensation of her arm around me stayed there, persistent, real. Like the handshake she'd given me yesterday. Why hadn't I remembered that?

I looked back down each of the halls. Still as creepy and slithery as before. I decided to see what had become of the other students.

I threw open the door to the first classroom I came upon. Empty. No seats, no tables, no people. No desks. Nothing. Just the floor, ceiling, and walls. Not even a window.

A thought occurred to me, and I glanced back at the hallway. The windows there were gone, too. Even the door had given way to more wall. I checked classroom after classroom, all empty. Just bare rooms of the same disturbing architecture.

I thought about trying another floor, and feared that it would all be the same. Except...

Sami had said they'd all been brought here by one of my friends. Which means that at least one of them must still be around. So I decided to check the second floor.

The indisputable fact that I lacked any good judgment in this scenario whatsoever was not lost on me. I almost missed the creepy black walls and TV screen ceilings of the floor below.

This floor was nothing like it. There were no walls, per say. Just walkways through what I can only describe as an enormous machine. Cogs and gears and pistons moved in sync with each other in impossible geometry, making patterns and motions that hurt to watch. Where the halls should have been, there were simply suspended walkways over more machinations of unknowable design. The entire machine moved as one, a great big single solid thing, comprised of what had to be thousands of parts.

And at the end of the hallway, stood that gruff-looking kid I'd seen earlier. Ha-san. He stood, by himself, working some kind of smaller metal contraption that I couldn't distinguish from here. I doubt I'd even be able to recognize it from up close.

He turned to slowly stare at me, just becoming aware of my presence. Or just now deciding to do something about it.

"You shouldn't be here, Kyon. I don't like people watching me while I work."

IOIOIOIOIOIOI

His voice was like metal grinding against something softer, something sickening and squishy. I felt nauseous listening to it. "We're almost done, Kyon. Why don't you go back to class and wait for us to finish?"

For a second, I couldn't help myself. My body felt like it was moving on it's own. Out of fear, or some kind of suggestion, I couldn't be sure. But I realized, as I was turning to walk away, to listen to him like a good student, that whatever it was they were doing, I couldn't let them finish. They were almost done, and I had to stop it. Somehow.

The only metaphor I could think of, in my mental reassertion over my body, was that I had to throw a monkey-wrench into the whole operation. Call it a lack of literary skills, or simply drawing from the environment. But it gave me the inspiration I needed. I reached for the only solid thing in range, my own shoes, and pulled them off. And then chucked them over the side of the platform.

Ha-san screamed in outrage as my footwear went flying, the laces catching themselves between two moving pieces of metal.

The entire thing screeched to a halt, even as Ha-san lunged at me, wielding the ungodly contraption in his hand like a weapon. And for all I know, it was.

I wish I could say it was my quick thinking that did something about him. I wish I had done something. But in the end, it was just dumb, depreciating luck. As the entire structure started to shake and tremble in effort to break itself free of the obstruction, the platform swung wildly. I was still on my hands in knees, where I'd been to take my shoes off, when it swung side to side. I gripped the platform best I could, and Ha-san, still almost gliding straight for me, was blindsided by one of the heavy chains holding the thing up. He twisted, almost wrapped around the heavy metal links, and fell. Into his own machine. I could only assume it was his.

The pressure, or stress, or mere indignity of not one, but two, obstructions in the great machine was simply too much for it. It all just started to fall apart around me. Or maybe it just couldn't function without it's master. I ran across the platform, into the door Ha-san had been standing in front of. Or at least I assumed it had been there when he was standing there. I couldn't be sure anymore.

I half expected some giant gear to come down behind me and roll after me like I'd just taken the statue off the pedestal. But all I heard behind the door once I'd closed it was the deconstruction of the giant metal monster Ha-san had created.

Now that I knew they could be beaten, I turned and walked on.

Into nothing.

At first it felt like nothing. But I could very plainly feel ground under my feet. But it was eternally dark in here. Not a spot of light.

Except one. Far off in the distance. Having no other leads out of this place, I followed it.

I'd only gotten a few steps into the dark, however, when I heard a familiar chuckle. It seemed to stop when I did.

"Oh, what's wrong, Kyon?" Ji's voice echoed through the nothingness. "Are we lost. Come on, I'll help you find your way home. Let ol' Akuran-kun help you out."

I tried to focus, tried to look somewhere other than the light. But the rest was so dark it almost hurt to look at. The light was so comforting. So ready and waiting to be followed. "What do you want, Ji?" I called out, urging my feet not to move. My indignation at the situation I found myself in gave me the strength to at least stay in one place long enough to yell at someone.

I could almost hear the creaking of his skull as he smiled wide. "I told you, little gingerbread man. I'm gonna carve you like a pumpkin. Now start running!"

His voice rose with each and every syllable, until he was practically shrieking the words at me.

I tried to think, tried to come up with some dumb solution to this guy like I had the last one. I didn't want to get carved like a pumpkin.

Or a turnip...

"Ji Akuran?" I yelled at the air. "That's the best you can come up with?! Jack-o-lantern?!"

My yells were almost immediately drowned out by his laughter. "Oh-ho, the gingerbread boy's got more'n just a head full of dough, doesn't he? I'm gonna enjoy carving you up, boy!"

The light at the end of the darkness suddenly flared, and all of a sudden, there were lights all around me. I couldn't even tell where the first one had been.

Think, I yelled at myself. Think. You're not stupid. He used the light to find his way from hell back to Earth... then what?

I had to think to myself, What does he need ALL the lights for? Can't he see just fine?

And that's when I realized: he can't. He's been using the lantern too long. It's the only way he can see in the dark.

I couldn't do anything about the lights he'd already lit, but I could try to mess with him. I pulled a lighter out of my pocket (or, as I like to call it, the S.O.S.(r) Brand Portable Evidence Disposal Unit.), and flicked it on. I locket it, and left the flame burning, then set it on the ground. That's why he wanted me to come to the light. Because he can't see me until I step into it.

I took a few steps back, out of the circle of illumination the lighter gave off, and waited. And sure enough, the steady footsteps of the abusive old man came out of the dark. In no time he was standing over the lighter, glaring at it.

"You gonna try to trick me, boy?!" he yelled. He sounded much older, much angrier, than he had. His lantern swung weakly in his hand. A hand that probably hadn't stopped holding the thing for years.

And hadn't moved in just as long. It was easier than I thought, taking it away from him. He howled at me, and slashed his pen-knife. I swung wildly with the lantern, and the turnip, old and rotten, smashed into pieces against his face.

And the coal, ever-burning, meant to torment the denizens of hell for eternity, burned into his cheek.

I couldn't have predicted what had happened next if I tried. The sound was deafening, as the ground split open beneath the old man, and deadly red light poured into the room.

And an awful, timeless voice rang out. Old and hateful, more so than the old man could ever be. Full of all the evil in the world, and all the desire the world had ever felt for it. "Jack, Jack, Jack," it said slowly. "I've been waiting for hundreds of years for you to break our deal. I gave you that piece of coal so you'd always have some Hell with you, but you never once touched the thing. Till now. You touched a piece of Hell, Jack. And now I'm not obligated to keep you out anymore. I will make you suffer for denying me, Jack!"

Even with my hands over my ears and my eyes screwed shut, as I seem to be prone to doing, I couldn't keep the voice out. I heard it from someplace more primal, more instinctual, than my ears. And the scream Jack let loose, bellowing as he fell into the Pit, would haunt me forever, even after the world had slammed shut to swallow him whole.

Almost instantly, the room had gone back to normal. Normal, of course, being the creepy black walls, swaying tan floor, and the all-day every-channel Kyon Show ceiling.

I'd barely gotten to my feet when the noise started. At first, it was indistinguishable, muffled by closed doors and thick walls, by whatever distance it had to travel to get to me.

But then, it rang out, as the doors all slid open, and the masses poured out into the hall.

"Happy Halloween."

Hundreds of students. From one end of the hall to the other, hordes of uniformed zombies shuffled dully at me, chanting ad infinitum, "Happy Halloween." I turned to run, but behind me was the same story. I looked up, desperate to find a way out, and there, on the other side of the screen, was Sami.

"Well, hello, Kyon," she said sweetly, standing where I should have been. She wasn't surrounded by zombies. Of course not. "I'd like to say I'm going to miss you, but you've really done so much to make things difficult."

She bowed her head, until I couldn't see her face. She was standing upside down above me, as if I was her and looking into a mirror. At that point I thought I heard her growl. "Do you know... how late... I was up last night?" she rumbled, her voice slowly losing it's sweet and innocent character. Her head snapped back on her shoulders, and she glared defiantly at me, her face twisted and spiteful. "Do you have any idea how long I've been working?!"

I stared at her dumbly. "...days?"

"Years! Years, Kyon. Just waiting for someone stupid enough to call us here. And when we got here, it was just so perfect! Little miss goddess, able to do anything she wanted with a thought, and never know it! We just whispered into her subconscious, and we whittled away at your reality. We used her to tap into your precious Mikuru's technology! A time traveler?! We could hold everyone here forever with that kind of resource! And little miss Nagato. A data construct?! It's just too easy! It normally takes years to do the kind of work we've done in a matter of days! AND YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP, KYON!"

Her rage was almost physical. I felt myself shake at the bone with her words. I stared quickly around me, snapped out of my trance, or whatever she'd done while she was talking. The zombie students hadn't moved.

"Oh, what? Them? A little gift from your ESPer friend. He may only be able to use his powers in Closed Space, but with Nagato and Mikuru behind us, or should I say ME, now, we can abuse his abilities all we want!"

I felt indignant. Furious. She was using my friends to turn our school into a nightmare, and I could tell she had no intentions of stopping there.

"So what was the machine for, anyway?!" I yelled at the monitor. "Why did you need Jack?!"

She laughed in my face. Cruel, unforgiving. "Jack was just a tool. I only brought him along so we could lead the minds of your stupid little friends into the darkness. Old Ha-san's machine? Hell if I know. Just a little pet project of his. But now they're gone! I can't use them where they are now! Jack's in Hell and Ha-san's in pieces only God knows where!"

"But how did you get Nagato out of her head? Wouldn't the Data Overmind cut you off as soon as it sensed a threat?" I tried to make sense of how easily they'd taken down my friends.

""That's why we went for tiny little Mikuru first. We slapped them all in little personal time loops, severing them from the rest of everything. Without all of that backup, Nagato just wandered, uneducated and naive, into our trap. It's so hard to teach an alien how to defend herself against magic, you know?" Sami paced back and forth, reveling in her little victories. I could still feel the hate seethe off of her, as she hadn't forgotten that I'd denied her her grand prize.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked her, defiant. A stubborn piece of work till the end, that's me. Try to end the world around me, and I'll make a pass at God.

Sami stopped and glared at me. Then stamped her feet like a frustrated child. "Nothing! I can't do anything anymore! Jack's gone, so I can't make more zombies! Even Nagato's powers can't pull the damned out of hell! And Ha-san's in a dozen pieces all over his own machine! I doubt even his ancestors could find him all in time to get things up and running! And I need his power to hold this shithole together!"

I stared around me as she said that, and she was right. The swirling black seemed to just ooze off the walls, into the carpet, which sunk back into the floor. All around me, people were starting to come out of their trances. I looked back up at the screen.

Sami huffed, not happy with having to explain. "I need Jack to keep everybody out of their own minds with his lantern. But you broke it, and sent him to the pit. Now they're all coming back to their senses. And I needed Ha-san, cause he's the only one who knows how to work this stupid time-control thingy. It's gonna reset itself soon, now that he's gone. I doubt anyone will even remember this stuff."

She looked ready to cry. "And you didn't even get to the gym! I worked really hard on the gym! I was so excited... forget it. Maybe next year..." she grumbled, and walked away. The monitor turned off, and in it's place was the plain old ceiling.

IOIOIOIOIOIOI

Everything kind of went to normal after that. I rejoined everyone in the club room, who all looked up and greeted me, as usual. Even Haruhi was there. "Hey, Kyon, you're late!"she yelled.

I sighed, weary. "For what?"

"The Halloween party, stupid!"

The party was good, although I have to say I enjoyed it more than I should have, probably out of relief.

I ended up taking the picture home with me. Haruhi hadn't even remembered drawing it. It's on the cork board, above my bed. Every once in a while the picture moves, when Sami gets restless. I guess she never really got all the way home afterwords.

And we never did find the message board.

Author's note: If this felt anti-climactic, it's because this was a Halloween story. Not a horror story. Although I like to think it was nice and creepy.

See if you can figure out who Sami and Ha-san are.