disclaimer: i don't own anything. sadly. :(
The first time she meets Jess is over dinner. She's all blonde hair and big smiles, and Jo can see why Sam likes her.
Jo is surprised by her throughout the night. She had thought she was always the one to break the snobby blonde cliché, but it seems Jess had her beat on that front years ago. Jess is talkative, friendly and doesn't order salad. It seems as though they'll get along just fine.
The four of them trail back to Sam and Jessica's place after dinner. Dean's slightly tipsy (understatement) and his arm is snaked around Jo's petite waist, and although he claims to be making a move on her, Jo has the feeling she's mostly being used as a device to keep him upright. The blonde finds herself the last to tumble through the doorway, having to toe the door open slightly in her black boots, and she's just about got Dean onto the sofa before she loses her grasp on him.
The elder Winchester collapses in a heap, readjusts the pillows around him and sinks into their brown leather sofa as though a cat would. He's asleep within minutes.
"Is he always like that?" comes a voice from behind her. Jo's eyes have to travel upward from her place on the floor to meet Jessica's. She quietly notes that Jess has a southern twang to her voice, and she likes it.
"Pretty much." She replies, giving Dean a playful shove. He stirs in his sleep, turns over, and is silent and stealthy once again.
Jessica laughs, holding out a hand for Jo to grab onto. She does so and in one swift movement is lifted from the floor and back on her feet.
"Sam never mentions his family much. Not his Mom, or his Dad. Or even Dean. Never mentioned you before either."
"Why would he?" Jo cocks an eyebrow at the fellow blonde, feigning confusion. She can't help but let defiance slip into her tone. The question hangs in the air pointedly, almost angry and defensive.
The shrugging of her shoulders is an answer in itself. Jess turns on her heel and makes for the kitchen where Sam is, but at last minute throws her head over her shoulder to ask:
"You're Dean's girlfriend, are you not?"
Jo nearly mirrors Jessica's earlier action of shoulder shrugging; instead she twirls a wayward curl around her finger and mumbles her response.
"It's complicated."
"Oh." is the reply she receives.
Sam's girlfriend doesn't pry. She likes that about her too.
The second time she and Jess cross paths is definitely more awkward than the first. Jo hadn't even meant to be in that particular shop, she had been cutting through to get to the bookstore on the other side of the mall. To her annoyance and distaste, she can now say she's been spotted in a clothes shop, stealthily making her way around the crazed shoppers and haphazardly placed racks of clothing. Sticking close to the south wall, she wanted to get in and get out. She hadn't meant to stop and chat with her sort-of-boyfriends brother's girlfriend.
Had she really just referred to Dean as her sort-of-boyfriend?
"Joanna!" Jess calls from across the place, waving her hand around vigorously. Jo feels she has no other choice but to go and greet her, out of good taste of course. She makes a mental note to remind Jess that not even her Mother calls her Joanna.
Jo casually waves back. By the time she had reached Jess she calculated that the slightly elder girl had either been here a really long time, or that she was an extremely quick shopper. An overfilled basket hung from her right arm, and in her left she held a blue mini-dress falling off its hanger. Jess smiled full and proud at her, her teeth on display, flashing Jo one of those it's really, really good to see you kind of smiles, though Jo supposed she was this forward and friendly with everybody.
"It's my birthday today." She announced happily. The date indirectly emblazoned itself onto Jo's inner calendar. May 2nd. Jessica's birthday.
"Happy birthday." She says, an involuntary smile creeping up on her face. Jessica had one of those infectious smiles, infectious laughter. It was as though she lit up the whole room. Jo quickly put that cheesy comparison to the back of her mind and continued their conversation.
"Thanks." She replies. Her eyes dart down to the mini-dress, and her previous bubbly smile turns to a look of distaste. She hangs the thing on a nearby rack and continues her search throughout the rest of the materials. "Dean's birthday today too. Small world."
"Is it?" Jo asks in return. She searches her head for some kind of memo, a reminder that today could possibly mark the day Dean was born.
"Yeah, you forget or something?" she asks, looking up. A laugh clings to the end of her sentence, and Jo throws her a smile back.
"Must've." She says. And although Jess must only be two or three years older than her, that casual, almost accusatory question makes Jo feel decades too young.
Dean doesn't do birthday parties. Jess apparently, does. She jokes and laughs about how they can have a joint party as she hangs up overly tacky banners and has Sam blowing up balloons. Sam tells Jo she's invited, which seemingly has the double meaning of helping arrange the food table and laying out vast quantities of alcohol. She won't know anyone at the party, but she guesses Dean won't know anyone either. And it's not like she wants to buddy up with any of Jessica's sorority sister's and-slash-or law firm buddies.
She loses Dean pretty early into the party, and spends a lot of her time making her way through a crowd of people and tripping over intoxicated couples making out on the staircase.
"Disgusting." She mumbles, as her converse clad foot collides with a drunken boy on the floor, passed out in his own vomit. Jess let her party get pretty out of hand, and god knows where Sam is to contain this madness. Jo hates parties. She finds Dean hidden away in Sam and Jess's room. He looks up to tell his unwanted guest to piss off before he realises it's her. There's no welcome, no sign that she should intrude on his probably private moment but nonetheless, her feet lead her further into the room and she follows them. She makes it just in time to see him place a picture of his Dad on the chest of drawers where it lives.
"You miss him?" she asks softly, moving in to rest her chin on his shoulder. He's silent for a long time, so long that she wonders if that was the wrong thing to say.
"Every day."
The next few moments are a rush, and her head spins as though she's had too much cheap liquor and she can't hold it. The only thing that's conscious to her, that can be picked out of this hazy mess is the feel of Dean's lips against hers and his hand in her messy blonde locks.
She's not sure she likes it. Her heart hums rhythmically in her chest, and he tastes unfamiliar, confusing. She breaks away from him suddenly. You always see this happen, in those movies, where the girl is confused about her feelings and she says something cliché and stupid and darts from the room. Except, Jo's feelings have never felt more clear. She slips from the room in silence, the only sound being the bedroom door slamming behind her.
She spends more time with Jess after the incident with Dean. She learns new things about her everyday. Jess is an only child, her favourite colour is yellow like the sun and she's been in love with Sam since she first laid eyes on him. The last fact roots deep in Jo and twists uncomfortably in her stomach. She attempts to ignore it. She fails.
One night they're just doing general stuff, pissing around. Sam's gone and Dean's gone and really, it's just the two of them. In reality, she never would've made a friend like Jess. Jess was meek and mild, loud and bubbly – her two personalities intertwined to make her the person she is. She's just Jessica. All of Jo's high school friends were rough, fought with boys and smoked cigarettes for the sheer pleasure of knowing it would kill them later. She can't imagine Jess partaking in any of those particular activities.
"What happened with you and Dean?" she asked, her feet propped up on the coffee table. She's staring up at Jo from her slumped place on the sofa, her eyes bright and blue, staring up at her from under dark eyelashes, blonde curls. It's amazing how defined her features are now to Jo.
"Complications." is all she feels like saying. She somehow thinks Jess would laugh if she said she didn't like his hands on her, the closeness, the kiss.
"C'mon Jo, I never ask but… what happened? I'm sure you've been crushing on that boy since you were in pigtails." She prods. This is new for Jess. One of the first facts Jo had embedded into her mind, Jess never pries.
Jo puts on her hostile demeanor, tries to build up walls. The next thing she says has to come out cool and confident, part of everyday conversation. Jo realises she wants to sound so sure of herself when the next words leave her lips.
"I think I'm gay."
"Oh." Jess says. Jo bites her lip and waits for her to continue. The delayed pause makes her angry. She doesn't know why she's seeking her approval anyway.
She picks up a fistful of nearby popcorn and hurls it angrily towards Jess. It sticks in her hair and she lets out a mock shriek of anger and surprise. The elder girl hurls herself across the sofa and pins Jo down, yelling in her ear as she squirms underneath her.
"Say you're sorry, Joanna Beth!" she jokes, holding down the petite blonde's flailing limbs with one hand and tickling her mercilessly with the other. She's surprisingly strong. "Look at this mess, it's in my hair! Say you're sorry!"
"I'm sorry!" she breathes out in-between fits of laughter. "Now geroff!"
The two girls sit panting, occasional fits of laughter escaping the two. Shared moments make their friendship stronger, as does Jo's confession.
"It's cool you're gay. Seriously. It doesn't change the fact you're practically my best friend." Jess announces out of the blue. She reaches across the sofa and encases Jo's hand in hers. Jo wishes the simple movement didn't make her heart flutter.
Jo learns of Sam and Jessica's engagement through a friend of a friend. She doesn't want to face Jess, doesn't want to congratulate Sam. But she does. She trails round endless shops with Jess, picking out hair accessories and looking at wedding dresses and listening to Jess taunt her with the prospect of Jo being a bridesmaid. She tells Jess she'd rather die. Jess tells her that can be arranged.
What she means is, she'd really rather die. The weak feeling inside her, at the very heart of her she knows is caused by Jessica Moore, soon to be Winchester. She buries it deep down and puts on a brave exterior. Love doesn't defeat a Harvelle.
Jessica Lee Moore has never felt more radiant. She can't even explain it, it's something about your wedding day… the day you give yourself over to the man you love. She aches to be a Winchester, she really does. All her family and friends are here, Sam's too. Everything's perfect, just how she imagined since she was a little girl.
Jo's her bridesmaid. She slips in and holds her tight, clinging onto her best friend for dear life. Jess feels on the verge of laughing and crying, her emotions all aflutter.
"You look fantastic, Jess. Really." Jo compliments her, and Jess twirls as best she can in her extravagant dress.
"You too. Though, I picked the dress. So I see why." She remarks, earning a light thump on the arm. Really, Jo would've done it harder. But she doesn't want the bride to be adorned with bruises on her wedding day.
The two are silent for a while. Jess finds herself looking at the floor in her lack of things to say, when she looks up Jo's wearing a sweet, sad smile.
Jo leans up on her tiptoes and places a chaste kiss to her lips. It's full of unsaid things and promises she can never make, and at the same time it means nothing – a kiss between friends.
"Knock em' dead." She smiles, letting her arm linger on the bride a fraction of a second too long before she disappears. Jess is left in startled silence. She's not gay in any sense of the word; she loves Sam with all her heart. It's not girls, it's just Jo. If it had to be anyone but Sam, she prays to God it could be Jo.