The Only Exception

by OddSakura

"So... Kaito, a host club?" his mother grinned. Kaito sighed. Women were truly evil creatures. And now he was going to learn how to entertain them.

Title: The Only Exception
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing: No real pairings as of yet, well except for HARUHIxEVERYBODY. Because this is Ouran and seems that if you're in the host club, you fall under her spell. The spell that she doesn't even know she has because she's thick when it comes to that kind of stuff. BUT THAT'S WHY WE LOVE YOU HARUHI. Oh God, I'm not a host and even I love her. That's how amazing she is.
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran. What a suprise. I do own these three Fan Characters and whatever members of their family I introduce.
Warning(s): This story will contain BAD LANGUAGE, SEX REFERENCES, STUPIDITY and OTHER THINGS THAT COME WITH WATCHING OURAN.
Summary: "So... Kaito, a host club?" his mother grinned. Kaito sighed. Women were truly evil creatures. And now he was going to learn how to entertain them.

OoOoO

Yay, a story! XD Yeah, I know what you're gonna say, but we had to. We just had to.

We had trouble coming up with the name at first, but then we thought of this title. Who cares that it'll have important meaning in later chapters as long as we can can shorten the title to TOE. And we can call the big chapters BIG TOES and the little ones PINKIES.

I love being an author.

OoOoO

"Keiko, let go of the tree."

"Not until you let me change!"

"It's the uniform Keiko, you have to wear it."

"But yours is better! Why couldn't I get a blazer instead of this hideous dress!?"

"Because the school said so. And what's so bad about it?"

"The style I can tolerate, but the colour makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I look terrible in yellow! Can I die it blue?!"

"No. Let go of the tree."

Two teenagers stood outside of a large, ornate mansion, arguing loudly. One, the female, was hugging one of the many maple trees that lined the pathway leading from the double doors of their home to the road, refusing to let go. Her brother was attempting to coax her into the waiting limo. And failing miserably.

"For Pete's sake Keiko, we're going to be late! We can't be late on our first day!"

The doors of the mansion burst open, and a third person strode toward the bickering siblings, wearing the same uniform as Keiko.

"Honestly Kaito, you know that the only way to deal with the drama queen when she's making a scene is force." she sighed. She grabbed Keiko's waist as she swept past, prying her away from the tree with surprising strength, and continued on toward the limo.

"Ack! Aiko! I can't go! Not in this disgusting thing! Have mercy!" Keiko shrieked as she was pushed into the limo.

"No." Aiko asserted, sitting next to her. Keiko fell into silent protest.

Kaito followed them, snickering at the now sulking Keiko, and took his place next to his sisters.

The siblings sat, staring straight ahead. Three pairs of large, amber eyes. Three small, curved noses. Three pale, pointed faces. Three heads topped with short, sunset-blonde hair. Three almost completely identical beings. The only difference that seperated Kaito from his sisters was his... lack of chest, whereas it seemed the only way to tell Keiko and Aiko apart was by the colour and placement of their hairclips.

They didn't speak much during the limo ride, quieted by their nerves. Of course, the silence only made the drive seem longer, which made them, if possible, even more anxious. Hours seemed to go by before they finally pulled up outisde Ouran Academy.

The triplets stood there for a few minutes, long after the limo drove off, taking in the sight.

"It's..." Kaito started.

"It's very..." Keiko trailed off.

"Pink." Aiko finished. She scowled. "It hurts my eyes."

Her brother and sister chuckled. "Well, maybe it's less pink on the inside." Kaito grinned, showing the way with a wave of his arm.

"For some reason, I highly doubt that."

"Pessimist." Keiko flounced past Aiko, sticking her tongue out cheekily. "You're just sour because you miss the old school."

"Of course I do. It was blue."

OoOoO

As Aiko predicted, the school's interior wasn't much better. The triplets were willing to look past that though. They were too busy trying to find their classroom to care about their school's appearance at that particular moment. The whispers that followed them as they wandered the halls did nothing to help them focus on the complicated map they had been given.

"Who are they?"

"Are they new students?"

"They look so much alike! Are they twins?"

"No, look! There's a third! Are they triplets?"

"They could just be siblings..."

"What class are they in?"

Aiko took another look at the map, growling. "Where is the key on this thing!? I see a bunch of symbols, but no key to tell me what they mean!"

"Give me that!" Keiko snatched the map out of her hands, stared at it for a few seconds, then shoved at Kaito. "This is impossible!" she whined.

Kaito sighed, then stuffed the useless map into his pocket. "Let's just ask someone for directions." he suggested. His sisters tried to protest, but he was already walking toward an older boy with violet eyes further ahead, leaving them no choice but to follow.

"Excuse me!"

The boy turned, confused. Kaito reached him, with his sisters following awkwardly.

"Hi, I'm Ichigawa Kaito. My sisters and I are new here, I don't suppose you could tell us where Class 1B is?"

"Suoh Tamaki. It's always a pleasure to introduce new students to the wonderful Ouran Academy!" the other boy smiled widely, sounding like a brochure. He grabbed Kaito's hand and shook it vigorously, causing Kaito to freeze.

He wrenched his hand out of Tamaki's, trembling as if Tamaki had just given him a horribly disfiguring disease instead of an overly friendly handshake. The blonde blinked, then carried on as though nothing had happened, his gaze now resting on the two girls.

"Of course I'll show you to your classroom! How could I deny a request from such beautiful young maidens?" He gave a heart stopping smile, bowing to the two. He was about to turn around and lead the way, but stopped dead in his tracks.

He stared at the siblings for a long moment, finally taking in their appearances. Once the information sunk in, Tamaki gave a gasp of delight and clapped his hands together gleefully.

"You're triplets!"

Aiko slapped a hand to her forhead. "Yes, yes we are. Now can you show us our classroom?" She sounded impatient. "Dramatic dumbass." she muttered quietly.

Not quietly enough apparently, as Tamaki suddenly retreated to a corner and began to cultivate mushrooms, a dark cloud hovering over his head.

"How the hell does that even work?" Aiko raised an eyebrow.

"Aiko, that was mean!" Keiko scolded. "Go apologize."

"What? No way! Not my fault if he has issues."

"Aiko." Kaito eyes pierced her, making the youngest triplet squirm uncomfortably.

"All right, fine!" she snapped, marching over to the sulking Tamaki. She sighed. "Look, Suoh-senpai, I... I'm sorry."

The change in mood was so quick it was almost frightening. Or hilarious. Your pick. Either way, Tamaki jumped to his feet, dusting himself off, then kissed Aiko's hand. "Think nothing of it, my princess."

Aiko scowled, shoving him away. Keiko peeked over her shoulder.

"Suoh-senpai, our classroom?" she reminded him.

"Of course." he smiled. "Right this way, my dears."

OoOoO

As it turned out, the triplets had been going in the completely wrong direction before they found Tamaki - Kaito somehow ended up being blamed for that. What a surprise.

It was a testament to how large Ouran Academy was that it took them fifteen full minutes to finally get to their classroom. Fifteen minutes that Tamaki gladly filled with question after question after question. Keiko was happy to answer, resulting in she and the blonde immediately hitting it off. Kaito, on the other hand, was slightly wary of him, dubbing Tamaki to be 'overly touchy', and made sure to keep his distance. Other than that though, he was fine to participate in the conversation. Aiko still insisted that he was an obnoxious drama queen, which made their guide retreat to his emo corner frequently and was part of the reason the trip took so long.

"So, my dear, I can't help but notice your accent is not Japanese. Do you travel a lot?"

"We used to travel all over the place when we were younger, before we settled down in England for a few years. Our mother is English, see, and our dad is Japanese."

"Ahh! England!" Tamaki threw his hands in the air in glee. "Yes, I can hear it now. Did you enjoy your time there?"

"Not at first, as we mostly spoke Japanese at the time. But as time went on, we became fluent in the English language, allowing us to really appreciate everything the country had to offer! Especially the books and music."

"The music?"

"Yes, most of the world's songs are in English, didn't you know? Now Kaito, Kaito loves music!"

"You do?" Tamaki turned his eyes towards the boy, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Well, yeah..."

"Kaito doesn't just like it, he's a musical genius!" Aiko smiled at her brother. Kaito flushed at the compliment.

"I... I don't know about that... genius is a strong word..." he mumbled.

"He's got a lovely voice."

"Can play almost any instrument he gets his hands on!"

"Favours the violin and guitar though."

"But he's okay at the piano!"

"He has a real talent."

Kaito had gone a rather alarming shade of red by then, and it seemed that his sisters continued talking just for the sake of embarrassing him.

Keiko grinned. "You said you played the piano too, didn't you Suoh-senpai?"

Tamaki's smile was dazzling. "Yes, I do."

"Maybe you two could play together sometime." Aiko glanced at Kaito, who's gaze was on the floor.

"I'll look forward to that!"

They came to a halt.

"Well, it has been a pleasure speaking to you all, but this is where I must leave you." Tamaki smiled.

"It's been lovely to meet you, Suoh-senpai!"

"And you too, my dear princess! I hope to see you again at the third music room after school!"

"Music room?" Kaito finally tore his eyes away from his shoes. Tamaki nodded.

"I hope to see you there!"

And then he was gone. There was a short silence.

"Well, he was nice." Keiko commented brightly.

"I still think he's a drama queen." Aiko rolled her eyes. Then she paused. "But I guess he was okay."

"He seemed pretty friendly." Kaito frowned. "But still overly touchy."

Aiko gave him a sympathetic look. "About that, are you okay?" Kaito nodded.

"I'll be fine. I was just... surprised."

"Well, I'm going to stop by this music room after school hours." Keiko grinned, changing the subject. "Will you guys come with me?"

Aiko looked reluctant, but Kaito nudged her purposefully. "Come on Aiko, Mum told us to try and make friends. He seems to be a pretty good candidate. He's rather...odd, I agree . But kind of like Keiko, so we've had practice."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Keiko huffed, crossing her arms and glaring.

Aiko scowled. "Fine, we can go. Maybe."

They entered their classroom.

OoOoO

The rest of the day went pretty well from there. Their teacher seemed nice enough, and while their identical appearances did attract a few stares from the other students, everyone was fairly friendly towards them.

Although, from what the triplets overheard, the girls seemed to have one primary discussion subject.

"Who are you requesting today?"

"The Hittachiins, I think. I was with Honey last time."

"He's so cute!"

"I know, but the twins are more my type."

"I'm requesting Haruhi!"

"He's so dreamy..."

And on the conversations went. They heard Tamaki's name come up a few times, but the triplets were concentrating more on getting around without a map than the idle chatting of the girls they passed.

OoOoO

"This school is so pink that it's not even funny. I don't know if my eyes can handle it anymore. Can we go home now?"

"Aikooooooo!" Keiko whined. "Stop being so negative!"

Five seconds passed.

"My feet hurt. Can we go home now?" Keiko complained.

Kaito sighed. The entire day had consisted of this. And now that school was finally over, his sisters seemed determined to drag their lazy butts nowhere but the comfort of home.

Well, he'd have been happy to oblige. If they could find the exit, that was.

They'd spent the majority of the day asking people for directions in order to get around, and that had worked well enough. But once school had ended Keiko had spent a ridiculous amount of time making sure her books were organised in just the right way inside her bag. As a result, when they'd finally left the classroom there was no-one around to guide them, and they were forced to wander around until they came across someone or found the exit themselves.

Lovely.

"My feet are on fire. AIKO CARRY ME."

"Wait, what?!"

Aiko lurched forward as her sibling- no prizes for guessing which one - threw herself onto her back.

"Keiko, get off!"

"But my feet!"

"Honestly, Keiko!"

Kaito sighed loudly. Though he was secretly glad that Keiko hadn't chosen him. At least she'd remembered who the strongest sibling was.

"FINE. I'll just keep walking until my feet start bleeding and then they won't be able to stop and pretty soon they'll just be a mess of blood and bandages and gore and they'll have to be chopped off while you hold my hand, screaming, and-"

"Oh my God Keiko I'll carry you. Just shut up."

"Thank you."

He had the world's oddest sisters. He was convinced he deserved a gold medal or something, though he wasn't entirely sure what for.

He had called their limo driver - Herbie - not too long ago, saying that they'd be late out and that they'd call him to come pick them up when they were ready. He hadn't said why - Kaito wasn't too keen on letting Herbie know that they were hopelessly lost.

"Kaito? Kaito. Kaitokaitokaitokaitokaitokai to-"

"What is it Keiko?" Kaito stopped and turned around to see a disgruntled Aiko giving the oldest triplet a piggy-back.

"It's the music room Suoh-senpai told us about!"

And so it was.

They stood - Kaito and Aiko, that is, Keiko was still on Aiko's back - and stared at the double doors for a moment. How in God's name had they ended up on the third floor? They were really lost. But as long as they were here... Kaito and Keiko turned to Aiko, their question written all over their faces. The girl sustained her stony expression for a few more seconds, but then relented.

"I suppose we could check it out. If only to ask directions." she mumbled. "But you have to get down!" She puntuated the sentence by dumping Keiko on the floor. She landed with an "Oompf!" before standing up and straightening her dress.

Her brother and sister grinned, taking a door each and throwing them open. They weren't exactly prepared for the rose petals that flew out and attacked their faces.

"Welcome!"

Seven boys, including Tamaki, stood in the middle of the room. The one in the middle was a short, brown-haired, brown-eyed boy who didn't look as enthusiastic as the others. Next to him was Tamaki, wearing his apparently default winning smile.

On the first boy's other side was a pair of red-headed twins with cat-like grins and behind them was a very tall boy, who looked rather stoic considering the fact that there was a small child perched on top of his shoulders. And lastly was a boy wearing glasses and a calculating expression.

Kaito stepped inside, looking rather confused. "Umm... Hi?"

Tamaki was about to speak, but was interupted by Aiko, who was now sneezing violently. Kaito blinked at her, before understanding dawned on his face. He walked over and led her into the room.

"You got a face-full of those roses, didn't you?"

Aiko nodded, unable to do anything else. The brown-eyed boy looked concerned.

"Is she okay?"

"Allergic to roses." Kaito explained. "Not seriously allergic, but she can't stop sneezing, and if she's exposed for too long she gets rashes."

"In several places we won't mention." Keiko snorted quietly. The bespectecled boy frowned and scribbled something down in a black notebook that he held. Tamaki looked absolutely horrified.

"My sweet princess! How could I let this happen!?" he wailed. The brown-eyed boy rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like 'here we go again'.

"I had no idea such a tragedy would occur!" Tamaki grabbed Aiko's hands in his own and gazed at her imploringly. "Please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies!"

She sneezed in his face.

Tamaki appeared to take this as a "No, I won't forgive you, you useless piece of garbage" and retreated to his emo corner.

None of the other boys paid him any attention, so it was clear that this happened quite often. Kaito was not, for some reason, surprised.

At least Aiko had the decency to look ever so slightly guilty - as well as she could whilst she was red in the face and spluttering unattractively. But it was Keiko who rushed over to the mournful boy in an attempt to comfort him.

"Poor Suoh-senpai, don't act so sad! She's forgiven you, really!" Keiko said, pulling him out of the corner more forcefully than she had intended. Her swing accidentally launched him into the brown-haired boy's chest. Tamaki brightened instantly.

"Marvelous!"

Its disturbing, how quickly these mood swings of his come and go, Kaito thought wryly.

"Excuse me." Aiko choked, still an ugly shade of pink. "Still having an issue!" She waved her arm to punctuate this.

"Is she gonna be alright?" one of the twins asked, frowning.

"Water!" Aiko gargled.

"She'll be fine." said Kaito, pushing his stricken sister down into a chair. "Aiko will calm down in a few minutes. Can we get something to drink please?"

"Here you go, Aiko-chan!"

The young child that had previously been hanging from the tall guy's shoulders appeared at Aiko's side with such speed that most of the water sloshed out of the glass and down her front. Aiko howled with shock. The water was very cold.

The boy's eyes grew glassy. His bottom lip trembled.

Kaito sighed. They had stepped into this room barely five minutes ago and so far his sisters had had a near-seizure, flung people around the room, sneezed in these guys faces and made a little kid cry.

... All things considered, this was going pretty well.

Aiko immediately felt terrible. "Look, kid, don't cry! It was just a shock! I'm not mad at you, honest." she croaked.

All traces of tears disappeared. He seemed to be a contender for the 'Quickest Mood Swing' award, along with Tamaki and who knows who else. He handed her the glass - gently this time - and she quickly downed what was left.

"Thanks." she rasped.

"You okay?" Kaito asked. She nodded.

"Thank God! I thought we lost you!" Keiko wailed, latching on to her sister's arm dramatically. Neither of her siblings seemed moved by her heartwarming display.

"You poor princess!" Tamaki sniffed, clutching Aiko's free hand again. "I'm not sure I would have been able to go on if something had happened to you, my dear."

"Honestly, senpai." The brown-haired one rolled his eyes again.

"Haruhi! All hosts should be worried about their guests!"

"It was just an allergic reaction." 'Haruhi' said.

"Show some concern!" Tamaki scolded.

"WHOA!" Keiko suddenly yelled, startling everyone. "Backtrack for a second here! Did you say 'host'?"

"Well, yeah." one of the twins said, raising an eyebrow.

"This is a host club." the other mimicked his brother's expression.

"I thought this was a music club!"

"What in the world would give you that idea?"

"The sign, maybe!?" she waved her arms in the general direction of the door.

Kaito could sense that it was time to cut in. Having a full-blown argument with these guys before even introducing themselves would be just rude.

"Look, before we get any further, my name's Kaito. The sister you're arguing with is Keiko -dark blue hairclip - and the one who was choking to death is Aiko - with the light blue hairclip. We're triplets, in case you were too dumb to realise this immediately." Here he gave a Tamaki a pointed look, which the host failed to notice. "Although I see you've got your own set of matching people, so I guess that's less of a big deal here. Nice to meet you all." Kaito hadn't meant to be so blunt. It had been a hard day.

"Ichigawa Kaito, Aiko and Keiko. Sixteen years old. Birthday; August 18th. Class; IB Their father is the creator of the extremely popular manga series: eXYZ. They left Japan and traveled to various locations all over the world between the ages of seven and ten. Afterwards, they settled in England - their mother's birthplace - for another six years and returned to Japan last month to attend Ouran Academy. Aiko enjoys 20th century literature, horse riding and pets. Kaito is musically gifted and an exceptional cook; and Keiko is a fan of obscure music, video games and internet pop culture. She also secretly plays the ukelele."

The bespectacled boy shut his little black book with an ominous snap! There was a silence.

"What is it?" he asked innocently.

"Got our breakfast down on there too?" Aiko asked sarcastically.

The boy gave her a look over his glasses. "Cheerios."

This was too much for Keiko, who jumped back with a cry of "Witch!" and thrust her finger at him accusingly.

"Wouldn't the correct term be 'warlock'?" A smirk ghosted the boy's face.

"That's exactly what a witch would say!"

The tallest boy spoke up. "We should introduce ourselves." he murmured in a deep voice.

"Takeshi's right!" the young boy grinned. He was back on the shoulders of 'Takeshi'. "I'm Honeynozuka Mitskuni, but you can call me Honey! And this is Morinozuka Takeshi, you can call him Mori though!"

Mori nodded.

"Otori Kyoya." the boy with glasses said plainly, returning to scribbling in his notebook.

"Hitachiin Hikaru-"

"-and Kaoru."

"They're lying." Haruhi sighed. "The one on the left is actually Hikaru and the one on the right is Kaoru."

"Haruhi!" they whined simultaneously. "Why do you always have to give it away?!"

He ignored them. "Fujioka Haruhi." he said, shaking the hand of Aiko, who was closest.

"And we met this morning, remember?" Tamaki said gleefully, sounding as though the simple fact had made his year.

"Vividly." Aiko muttered.

"All right then, that's that out of the way." Keiko said. "Now lets return to the most important issue, 'kay? A host club?"

"Yes, a host club." Kyoya said.

"A host club."

"Yes."

"Where girls go?"

"Yes."

"And where men entertain them?"

"Yes."

"... Right. Well, I've read more than enough manga to know where this is going." Keiko announced. "Do you keep the beds in the back or something?" There was a pause as her words registered in everyone's minds.

"Get your head out of the gutter!" one of the twins flushed angrily. Hikaru, wasn't it?

"We just talk and eat and flirt." the other - Kaoru - said indignantly, his cheeks flaming.

Aiko snorted in a very unladylike way. "Don't mind her, she reads too much adult manga."

"Too right." Keiko agreed. Then she blinked. "Is that all you do then?"

"Yes. Ocasionally we set up a theme though, such as a tropical paradise, or wear themed outfits, like policemen or artists." Kyoya didn't take his eyes off his notebook.

"Policemen, eh? Kinky."

"Keiko..." Kaito sighed wearily.

"Sometimes we even take trips." Kyoya added.

"So you just sit, flirt and eat pastries with girls all day?" Keiko grinned.

He finally tore his gaze away from the book, switching it to the triplet. "In a nutshell, yes."

"Cool, where can I sign up!? I'm totally down with stuffing my face and chatting up chicks all day."

Kyouya almost smirked. "Sorry, we have no need for a female member." Hikaru snorted at this, earning him a jab in the side from his brother's elbow. Keiko pouted.

"What? No way! You must have some bisexuals or lesbians at this school who want in on the fun, right?"

Kyoya seemed to consider this for a moment. "Sorry, the answer is still no."

"Or what about the guys!? How envious must they be of the girls because there isn't a female member to entertain them?!"

Aiko snickered. "You know, I'd pay to see you as a host, Keiko."

"What about you, Aiko? Don't you want to be one?"

"No thanks. You and Kaito can have that pleasure."

Kaito blinked. "Hey, how did I get dragged into this?"

"You'd be a great host, Kaito!" Keiko told him, smiling widely.

Aiko nodded her agreement. "You're a guy, they have no excuse to not let you join if you want to."

"I don't want to!"

"Yes you do." Keiko corrected him.

"You just don't know it." Aiko added.

The Host Club watched them bicker, some exasperated, some amused.

"I can't be a host!"

"Why not?"

"I'm way too awkward around girls! I have no idea what to say to them!"

"We're girls."

"That's different, you're my sisters!"

"But girls love you!"

"You just don't realise it!"

"No they don't!"

"How can they not!? You're a keeper!"

"You can sing."

"You can play."

"You can cook."

"You're sweet."

"You're handsome."

"You're... really red in the face right now."

"Keiko!"

"Well it's true!"

Kaito opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a loud rumbling sound. The Host Club all let out a collective groan. Whatever was happening, they didn't seem to be all that surprised, just irritated.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Laughter erupted from beneath their feet, and out of the floor rose a pillar of sorts, spinning as it grew. On top of it stood a ginger-haired girl wearing the Ouran uniform. She was the source of the odd laughter.

There was a short silence after the contraption had finished rising.

"Ummmm... who are you?" Aiko's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

The girl looked happy to be asked. "I am Renge, the Host Club manager, and I have spotted an opportunity!"

"An opportunity?" Kyoya asked in a dissinterested tone.

"An opportunity!" Renge repeated. "I have been thinking it over for a quite a while now, something that had always seemed to me to be a major flaw in the Host Club! And the solution has walked right to us!"

"Me?" Keiko asked hopefully. She was ignored.

"The Host Club has been missing the Shy Type!" Renge announced.

"The Shy Type?" Aiko blinked. "What does she mean 'type'?"

"Each host is a certain type!" Tamaki jumped to explain, pointing at each host as he listed them. "Haruhi, is the Natural Type! The twins are the Mischeivous Devil Type! Honey is the Boy Lolita and Mori is the Strong and Silent Type! Kyoya is the Cool Type, and myself, I am the Princely Type!"

"Ohhh..."

"The Shy Type!" Renge said again. "Girls love shy guys!"

Kaito didn't like where this was going.

"You!" Renge pointed at Kaito in an almost accusing manner. "You are now the Host Club's Shy Type!"

"He'd be honoured!" Keiko said before her brother could protest. Aiko snickered.

"That's not a terrible idea, Renge... Another host will earn more money, after all." Kyoya mused, clicking his pen open and scratching something down in his little black book. Keiko shot him a dirty look.

"You didn't say that for me!" She was ignored. Again.

"I don't want to be a host!" Kaito frowned.

"Too bad Kaito, you need to learn to accept that you're hot and use it to your advantage." said Aiko.

Kaito tried to argue, but was cut off by Keiko. "Come on Kaito, just try it! It'll be fun!"

"How come no-one has asked for our opinion on having a new member?" the twin that Kaito thought of as Hikaru scowled.

"Shouldn't you ask for our thoughts at least?" the one that was probably Kaoru agreed.

Haruhi contemplated the situation for a few moments. "I don't really mind there being another member." he said finally.

"I'd love to eat cake with Kai-chan!" Honey said enthusiastically. Mori made a sound of agreement.

"Like I said, more income is always a good thing." Kyoya said.

"I will gladly take him under my wing!" Tamaki announced, looking giddy. "My newest apprentice! Another member of our family!"

The twins were quiet for a few more seconds, then shrugged as one. "I guess it couldn't hurt to try him out." they said together.

"It's settled then! Ichigawa Kaito is the newest host!" Renge declared.

Kaito gave up. There was no use in fighting it now. "All right then." he sighed.

Keiko started whining like a five year-old again. "But I want to be a host too! Please Kyoya-senpai?!" she gazed at him miserablely.

Kyoya found a rare atom of pity in his soul. It bloomed before he could squish it. "...If you like, you can be the Host Club's waitress."

"Waitress?" Keiko didn't look satisfied.

"Yes."

"...Can I still flirt?"

"As long as you don't scare away customers."

"The mere thought! That you would insinuate such a thing insults me, Kyoya-senpai!"

"Do you want the job?"

"It'll do. I'll work my way up to the host title eventually."

"We'll see."

The twins shared identical grins. "Waitress, huh?"

"Our mother will design something if we ask her."

"We'll make sure to tell her to make it pretty."

"I won't touch anything unless it's absolutely festooned with ruffles." Keiko said severely. They chuckled amd winked.

"Got it."

"What about you, Aiko-chan?" Honey turned to the youngest triplet. She looked surprised.

"What about me?" she asked in confusion. Then she blinked. "...Chan?" Honey's eyes grew wide and watery. Again.

"Don't you like me calling you Aiko-chan?" he sniffed. Aiko felt guilty. Again.

"No, no! Of course I like it!" she said quickly. And she did, she realised. She really did.

"Yay!" That award was Honey's for sure if he kept going on like this. "And I wanted to know if you were going to be in the Host Club too!"

"I don't think so, Honey. Clubs aren't really my thing..." she faltered as Honey's crestfallen look came back. "I'll come as much as I can though!" she reassured him. "Maybe I'll even help Keiko sometimes! Would you like that, Honey?"

"That would be great, Aiko-chan! Wouldn't it, Takeshi?"

Mori grunted his approval.

"Thank you for your support, Mori-senpai." Aiko chuckled.

OoOoO

They had left not long after, with Tamaki showing them to the exit, and all the while explaining to Kaito about his duties as a host. It didn't seem that hard, but it wasn't something that he was exactly comfortable with.

Though, he supposed, the awkwardness would be part of his attraction if he was to be the 'Shy Type'.

Tamaki left them at the school entrance after telling Kaito and Keiko that they needed to be at the host club straight after school the next day to get ready for the job. Kaito called Herbie, and while they waited for their limo to arrive, Keiko happily filled the silence by yapping on about how brilliant this whole host business was going to be.

She wasn't teasing Kaito at all. Neither of them were, which he found highly suspicious.

When they finally did arrive home, the two girls raced ahead into the house, whilst Kaito followed at a slower pace.

He found his sisters and mother waiting for him in the living room. They were kneeling in a line on the couch, facing him with their elbows resting on the couch back, their hands underneath their chins and all three of them were wearing the same smug expression.

"So, Kaito," his mother asked, fighting to keep the grin off her face. "A host club?"

Kaito sighed. Woman were truly evil creatures. And now he was going to learn how to entertain them.

OoOoO

ALTERNATE ENDING: Turned out that Kyoya really was a witch, and he maimed and killed and tortured everyone in really gruesome ways that involved a lot of blood and guts and fire and a lot of other cool stuff that you probably won't get to see. What a shame. After that the story ended and the audience cheered, safe in the knowledge that the fic would never be revived (Yeah, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?) and everyone danced for thirty days and thirty nights straight. But then they were tired so they went home. The end.