I fell today. Again. Man, my side's killing me. It wasn't too bad. I mean, I sort of saw it coming but when you're nicknamed Danger, you get used to this kind of stuff. The pain'll probably fade by the time I hit the stage. I tend to forget everything when performing so I'll be fine then. For now, it aches.

I guess I'm lucky to have brothers who ask if I'm okay rather than laugh at me. Kevin was quick to help me up but you know, I like lying there for dramatic affect. But the real kicker is when Big Rob himself just sorta stands there and stares as if he automatically knows I'm fine. Well he's right. He always is.

We're taking SNL tonight and I'm feeling strangely jet-lagged. Usually I got this adrenaline pumping through me but all I'm getting right now is the need to crash. It's only when Camilla shows up in this really shiny red dress does it hit me.

It's Valentine's day! Just about my favourite holiday ever. Well Camilla's there and looking as pretty as ever and I'm well...I'm panicking because for one, I must be suffering from short term memory loss and two, I haven't got anything to give her. I'm almost tempted to ask Nick what he's giving Selena but I'm the older brother here and frankly, it's laughable.

When I hug her, I get that whiff of her scent that I can't really place. She smells like a woman and maybe I would kiss her if I weren't so shy. Maybe I'm pacing myself. The time isn't right yet though, somewhere along the lines I get the feeling that it'll never be satisfying. Not like...

And when yet another giant realization hits me, we're getting ready to pray. I don't have time to think about my sudden failure because we're on.

By the time I get home, I'm not at all surprised to find a package waiting for me, unopened because we've got this respectful privacy policy that I happen to appreciate.

To find a origami work of me complete with a tambourine is shocking enough but the little note beside it is enough to melt anyone's heart and by the time I'm done reading it, I'm clutching it so hard my knuckles have gone white.

I know how much you love this day. I'm sorry I can't be there with you and see your expression when opening it. It took me a while. It isn't perfect but then, it's hard to capture your greatness regardless of my artistic skills. Anyways, remember that when you read this, I'm thinking of you. Happy valentine's day, JJ. I love you.

There's only one person on the face of this planet who still calls me JJ. It's late and wouldn't you know it. As soon as my eyes find the clock, it's midnight. Not Valentine's day anymore.

I'm the worst husband ever.