Nimmy interviews Lord Voldemort on Nimmy's new hit talk show, 'Nimmy Speaks- So Silence Mortal!!!'
Nimmy: So... *opens envolope* Ah... Lord Voldemort...
Voldemort: *hiss*
Nimmy: ((nervous)) heh... heh... moving right along... Nice day today...Eh...? erm... Voldemort... can I call you Voldie? You're a nice evil, world dominating wizard, yes you are.... ((baby talk))
Voldemort: No! I'm not nice! And today isn't nice! Can I kill Harry yet? AND THAT'S LORD VOLDEMORT TO YOU!!!
Nimmy: Why in the world would you want to kill Harry? When you could have this... *holds up a Harry Potter book- book 5 to be exact; crowd oooh's and ahhhh's* The unreleased copy *grins*
Voldemort: *tear comes to his eye* See! This is what I mean! EVERYBODY loves Harry, no one loves Lord Voldemort, its always Harry this, Harry that, no one wants a book called "Voldemort and The Philosopher's Stone" or "Voldemort and The Chamber of Secrets" its always about Harry Potter!!
Nimmy: Is that why your eyes are always so red...? ((Cheerful; yet inquisitive))
Voldemort: Either that or sleep deprivation, you see... I've done something bad that I have to deal with everyday. I've killed muggles, in large mass quantities. It pains me so much...
Nimmy: Really...?
Voldemort: No.
Nimmy: I was going to say... "Voldemort-er... LORD Voldemort feeling remorse? Ya right!"
Voldemort: Everyone always assumes I don't have a heart! Well, what if I did?
Nimmy: Well, do you?
Voldemort: No, but thats my point, you don't see the sensitive side of me. And neither do any of you! I don't need your sympathy! *takes out wand and kills random member of the audience to make himself feel better*
Nimmy: HEY! That was un called for! You apologize right now! *mutters* no wonder he isn't married, I mean look at him, the snake appearence is so out. And he's so mean!
*Snape walks in*
Nimmy: And here is the Potions teacher we all LOVE to HATE! Severus Snape! Hey that rhymes! His favorite past times are... Taking points from Gryffindor!
Snape: Quiet, you! ten points from Gryffindor!
*Harry stands up*
Harry: Hey! She doesn't even go to Hogwarts!
Snape: Okay, then the ten points were lost because of YOU! Potter! As long as I take the points, I'm happy! MUAHAHAHAH!!! *evil laugh*
*Harry sits back down swearing*
Nimmy: Severus, may I call you Snape the Ape? Or Sever? Or Sev? Or Sevvy?
Snape: Shut up!
Nimmy: Okay, fine, I'll call you grease ball! *holds up deep cleansing shampoo* after the show, I need you to use this in your hair. Your hair is disgusting.
Snape: ...
Voldemort: GIVE ME CHEESE OR GIVE ME POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nimmy: *Holds out a flower pot with a lightning bolt on it* Its name is Potter... *and then holds out cheese* this is Potter too... which one do you want?
Voldemort: Time for the Random Ballet of the Day... and today's ballet is Swan Lake. I tell the story, and dance, and you get to watch me. I have a video, called "Dances with Voldie," erm... Actually its "Dances with Voldemort"... *Voldemort puts pointe shoes, and a tu- tu and hums swan lake theme, wand is transformed to one of those fairy god mother, star at the tip, glittery wands (If you don't know it, its kinda like: du du du du du dududu du du du du dude dudu du du du... du du du du du... and on the end du du du du du... du du du du du Voldemort takes out his wand and kills random audience members, so the 'victims' drop in rythm- not to mention do that 'oooph' groan thing as they die... so its like: "ooph ooph ooph ooph ooph, ooph oooph oooph oooph oooph...)*
Nimmy: erm... We practiced that dance... wait! Stop! You have the arms wrong! *does dance* SEE!! Okay... *sits back down* Harry Potter, you may come up now.
Harry: Hi! I'm Harry! *fearful now* Voldie's gone mad hasn't he?
Nimmy: Well aware thanks, this is my talk show...
Snape: *reaches over and tries to strangle Harry*
Harry: *fights Snape off* *mutters* Lousy greasey, git...
Nimmy: Boys, boys! Now, Now... no fighting... I hardly think Professor Dumbledore would commend you for killing a student.
Snape: Well... I just thought---
Nimmy: No means NO! You can't kill him! He can't die!
((*Voldemort is at the du du du du du du... du du du du du, and at the last du, the person drops with an out of key "ooph" so....*))
Voldemort: Shall we try that again? *resumes killing to the same tune* ah... much better... stay in key! That is the key!
Nimmy: Voldemort, I demand you stop killing people!
Voldemort: *red eyes light up* oooh! Who's gonna make me? I'm scared... *fake shiver*
Nimmy and Harry: I will! *Nimmy and Harry look at eachother, startled they both said the same thing*
Voldemort: You and what army?
*Nimmy and Harry don't hear*
Nimmy: Try that again, shall I? *growls at Harry* You always have to be the hero! I don't remember having two voices...
Voldemort: You and what army? *a little louder*
Harry: Sorry, I thought you might want help. I've taken him down before... you know...? and plus... you're kinda cute...
Nimmy: You think? becau--
Voldemort: I SAID: YOU AND WHAT ARMY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nimmy: *turns to Voldemort* Thats it! You b.-stard (trying not to curse)! Get off my show! I was just being flirted with by Harry Potter! You know!? Dan Radcliffe look alike! Or is is vise versa...? oh well who cares! Just get the hell... erm heck off my show!!!!!!!
Voldemort: *still in costume* ::Voldemort's wand hangs by his side, he looks quite glum:: *thinks for a second then raises wand and begins to speak* ... If I were to possibley do a differen---
Nimmy: NO! I do not promote killing random audience members for pleasure even if there is a ballet with good music behind it! Now I would hardly call your flailing your arms and legs around a ballet, and that horrible 'du du du' noise music! ... one or two audience members, okay fine... three if they're being obnoxious, but... NO! Wait! No more killing! You've already killed 60 audience members!!
Voldemort: My, my... is it 60 already? ((surprised))
Nimmy: Yes... I mean YES! Now off!!
Nimmy: So... *opens envolope* Ah... Lord Voldemort...
Voldemort: *hiss*
Nimmy: ((nervous)) heh... heh... moving right along... Nice day today...Eh...? erm... Voldemort... can I call you Voldie? You're a nice evil, world dominating wizard, yes you are.... ((baby talk))
Voldemort: No! I'm not nice! And today isn't nice! Can I kill Harry yet? AND THAT'S LORD VOLDEMORT TO YOU!!!
Nimmy: Why in the world would you want to kill Harry? When you could have this... *holds up a Harry Potter book- book 5 to be exact; crowd oooh's and ahhhh's* The unreleased copy *grins*
Voldemort: *tear comes to his eye* See! This is what I mean! EVERYBODY loves Harry, no one loves Lord Voldemort, its always Harry this, Harry that, no one wants a book called "Voldemort and The Philosopher's Stone" or "Voldemort and The Chamber of Secrets" its always about Harry Potter!!
Nimmy: Is that why your eyes are always so red...? ((Cheerful; yet inquisitive))
Voldemort: Either that or sleep deprivation, you see... I've done something bad that I have to deal with everyday. I've killed muggles, in large mass quantities. It pains me so much...
Nimmy: Really...?
Voldemort: No.
Nimmy: I was going to say... "Voldemort-er... LORD Voldemort feeling remorse? Ya right!"
Voldemort: Everyone always assumes I don't have a heart! Well, what if I did?
Nimmy: Well, do you?
Voldemort: No, but thats my point, you don't see the sensitive side of me. And neither do any of you! I don't need your sympathy! *takes out wand and kills random member of the audience to make himself feel better*
Nimmy: HEY! That was un called for! You apologize right now! *mutters* no wonder he isn't married, I mean look at him, the snake appearence is so out. And he's so mean!
*Snape walks in*
Nimmy: And here is the Potions teacher we all LOVE to HATE! Severus Snape! Hey that rhymes! His favorite past times are... Taking points from Gryffindor!
Snape: Quiet, you! ten points from Gryffindor!
*Harry stands up*
Harry: Hey! She doesn't even go to Hogwarts!
Snape: Okay, then the ten points were lost because of YOU! Potter! As long as I take the points, I'm happy! MUAHAHAHAH!!! *evil laugh*
*Harry sits back down swearing*
Nimmy: Severus, may I call you Snape the Ape? Or Sever? Or Sev? Or Sevvy?
Snape: Shut up!
Nimmy: Okay, fine, I'll call you grease ball! *holds up deep cleansing shampoo* after the show, I need you to use this in your hair. Your hair is disgusting.
Snape: ...
Voldemort: GIVE ME CHEESE OR GIVE ME POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nimmy: *Holds out a flower pot with a lightning bolt on it* Its name is Potter... *and then holds out cheese* this is Potter too... which one do you want?
Voldemort: Time for the Random Ballet of the Day... and today's ballet is Swan Lake. I tell the story, and dance, and you get to watch me. I have a video, called "Dances with Voldie," erm... Actually its "Dances with Voldemort"... *Voldemort puts pointe shoes, and a tu- tu and hums swan lake theme, wand is transformed to one of those fairy god mother, star at the tip, glittery wands (If you don't know it, its kinda like: du du du du du dududu du du du du dude dudu du du du... du du du du du... and on the end du du du du du... du du du du du Voldemort takes out his wand and kills random audience members, so the 'victims' drop in rythm- not to mention do that 'oooph' groan thing as they die... so its like: "ooph ooph ooph ooph ooph, ooph oooph oooph oooph oooph...)*
Nimmy: erm... We practiced that dance... wait! Stop! You have the arms wrong! *does dance* SEE!! Okay... *sits back down* Harry Potter, you may come up now.
Harry: Hi! I'm Harry! *fearful now* Voldie's gone mad hasn't he?
Nimmy: Well aware thanks, this is my talk show...
Snape: *reaches over and tries to strangle Harry*
Harry: *fights Snape off* *mutters* Lousy greasey, git...
Nimmy: Boys, boys! Now, Now... no fighting... I hardly think Professor Dumbledore would commend you for killing a student.
Snape: Well... I just thought---
Nimmy: No means NO! You can't kill him! He can't die!
((*Voldemort is at the du du du du du du... du du du du du, and at the last du, the person drops with an out of key "ooph" so....*))
Voldemort: Shall we try that again? *resumes killing to the same tune* ah... much better... stay in key! That is the key!
Nimmy: Voldemort, I demand you stop killing people!
Voldemort: *red eyes light up* oooh! Who's gonna make me? I'm scared... *fake shiver*
Nimmy and Harry: I will! *Nimmy and Harry look at eachother, startled they both said the same thing*
Voldemort: You and what army?
*Nimmy and Harry don't hear*
Nimmy: Try that again, shall I? *growls at Harry* You always have to be the hero! I don't remember having two voices...
Voldemort: You and what army? *a little louder*
Harry: Sorry, I thought you might want help. I've taken him down before... you know...? and plus... you're kinda cute...
Nimmy: You think? becau--
Voldemort: I SAID: YOU AND WHAT ARMY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nimmy: *turns to Voldemort* Thats it! You b.-stard (trying not to curse)! Get off my show! I was just being flirted with by Harry Potter! You know!? Dan Radcliffe look alike! Or is is vise versa...? oh well who cares! Just get the hell... erm heck off my show!!!!!!!
Voldemort: *still in costume* ::Voldemort's wand hangs by his side, he looks quite glum:: *thinks for a second then raises wand and begins to speak* ... If I were to possibley do a differen---
Nimmy: NO! I do not promote killing random audience members for pleasure even if there is a ballet with good music behind it! Now I would hardly call your flailing your arms and legs around a ballet, and that horrible 'du du du' noise music! ... one or two audience members, okay fine... three if they're being obnoxious, but... NO! Wait! No more killing! You've already killed 60 audience members!!
Voldemort: My, my... is it 60 already? ((surprised))
Nimmy: Yes... I mean YES! Now off!!