Welcome to my first Banjo Kazooie fan-fic! I hope you enjoy it!

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(#1: "The Dating Service")

"NO!!" Kazooie shouted, as she walked down the path with Tooty. "I will not do it!!"

"But Kazooie," Tooty said, in her annoying little tone which she usually used on her brother Banjo. "You can't spend the rest of your life a miserable, crabby, lonely bird who spends most of her time walking alone or sitting in a bear's backpack."

"The only thing that makes me miserable is having to listen to you all day, & hearing Banjo's snoring all night!! Don't you think I have suffered enough from the two of you without having to have a boyfriend on top of that?"

Tooty continued walking down the path next to her brother's best friend, & placed her hand on her cheek. "But Kazooie, a boyfriend isn't a burden. If you find the right one… he can be the wind beneath your wings." For a moment there was a sparkly, bubbly background behind Tooty, as she stood starry eyed at the thought, until Kazooie started to laugh.

"How would you know? You're just a kid!" Tooty growled & clenched her fists. "Besides, I don't go for that lovey-dovey stuff. I'd rather kick some bad guy's butt then sit around staring into someone's eyes!"

"But Kazooie…" Tooty looked at the red bird with her sad blue eyes & stuck out her bottom lip. "…I only want you to be happy. & I think that at least one date would do you good."

Kazooie looked at Tooty, she couldn't tell sometimes whether the little bear looked up to her like a big sister, or just loved to torture her. She couldn't take those big blue eyes anymore… they looked exactly like Banjo's eyes (only smarter). "Oh alright!! What exactly did you have in mind?"

"(Giggles) I was hoping you'd ask. There is a new dating service on the internet. You just type in some things about yourself, they find someone who is compatible with your personality, and then you get an E-mail & go on a blind date! Isn't that cool?"

"Uh…" Kazooie wondered where Tooty found stuff like this. Banjo really needed to get a child-bloc on the computer before this kid hacked into a freaking missile silo or something! "Fine! Let's go see about this 'dating service' of yours. But you had better not tell a soul about this or else!"

"Don't worry Kaz', my lips are sealed." Tooty pretended to zip her lips together & smiled. Kazooie sighed & wondered if she was doing the right thing. Tooty pulled her by the wing back to the house & they began to put Kazooie's information into the computer before Banjo got home.

Meanwhile, at Mumbo Jumbo's scull shaped hut, Mumbo & Bottles were trying to convince Banjo to find a girlfriend.

"But… why do I need a girlfriend?" Banjo asked, sitting in Mumbo's only chair while his two friends stood looking at him. "I already have all of you guys."

"Because," Said Bottles, as he crossed his arms. "You need some experience in dealing with the opposite sex."

"Yes," Mumbo said, nodding his scull shaped head. "Bottles right, Banjo need to meet girls."

"But…" Banjo interrupted. "I already know girls. Like my sister & Kazooie."

"No, no, no!" Bottles shouted. "We mean besides Tooty & Kazooie! Tooty is your sister, & you should meet some girls beside your sister. & as for Kazooie… I wouldn't really call her a 'girl', more like a male bird in a female bird's body."

"That's not a very nice thing to say Bottles."

"Oh? When was the last time you saw her do anything feminine?"

"…Well… uh…"

"My point exactly! Besides, Kazooie is your best friend. What you need is something more than a friend. Take it from a guy who has been happily married for many years."

"But…" Mumbo started. "Mumbo thought Bottles & wife got in a fight the other night because Bottles came home with tequila-worms on his breath."

"Ahem!! Regardless, Banjo could do with a little female companionship."

"(Sigh) I guess you're right Bottles." Banjo said, sounding defeated. "But where will I find a girlfriend?"

Mumbo jumped up when an idea hit him & exclaimed, "Banjo could come with Mumbo in Mumbo's car tonight & cruise for chicks!"

"No, no," Bottles said. "I was thinking more along the lines of an online dating service."

"Dating service?" Banjo asked.

Bottles continued to explain that all he had to do was put in some info about himself & they would find someone who was compatible with his personality & send them on a blind date. Banjo was unsure about the whole thing, but decided to give it a try. He made his friends promise not to tell anybody & later that night, after Kazooie & Tooty went to bed, he logged on & began the unsure process of "finding a girlfriend" through the power of the internet.

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Well there you have it! I know it was sort o' short, but that's just the way it came out. Please review!