Okay, if you recognize this story as being Ireland Maslow, it kinda is. I'm Luke though, and I worked with her to write this story, I have permission to post it to my page also. If you don't believe me, ask her and she'll tell you. This is my actual life story. Everything that happens to Kendall in this story happened to me in my real life. People, please remember that even small comments can affect people in ways you know nothing about. Bullying or teasing is NOT okay! My life was drastically changed and turned around because of bullying. I was in a really dark place for awhile and I thought of ending it all. But I have an amazing mother, an extraodinary little sister and an incredible best friend, Ireland Maslow. Ireland and I became friends right before everything in this story happened and even at 4 AM when I needed a friend, she was there. I could talk to her about everything and she understood, even the suicidal thoughts. She never told me to just get over it, which doesn't help suicidal people by the way, she talked me through it and let me tell her everything I felt and thought. THAT was what kept me here.
Thank you so much to all those who supported me even though you guys didn't know me. It was amazing to know I had complete strangers on my side. God bless you all.
I don't own any of the BTR characters. This is my life story, but I didn't write any of this. I told Ireland what happened detail by detail and she wrote it out into story form. She sent me each section to look over and see if she needed to change anything, so credit for the writing goes to her.
Kendall's POV:
I walked into the classroom and went straight to my desk. I sunk down in my seat and stared at the desk. I heard the whispers and snickering from around me. It was the first day of school and I already knew this year was going to be one of the worst. I went from being one of the most popular kids, to being the most bullied kid in one single summer. I hated it! I had always been the one that everyone loved for no reason really. I never realized how much I actually enjoyed everyone knowing my name and everyone being my friend until I lost it all.
I used to be the captain of the hockey team, but now, I don't even play hockey. The coach wants me back, but I can't deal with the torture I get from the other guys. I wasn't surprised that the only friends I had left had started to avoid me a little too. Especially today, they all pretended to be too busy. I knew they were pretending because they were never this busy on the first day of school before. Well, Maybe Logan, when it came to school, he loved it and anything not school related during school hours was forgotten. Carlos and James though, don't have much of an excuse. They are like me, do what they have to do to get by and get good grades. We always had time for each other though.
They had gotten a bit distant over the summer, but they were still around at least. I guess that's good enough. I felt something hit me and land on the desk. I looked at the wadded up piece of paper and then around the room. I saw a guy named Shane looking at me and chuckling. He raised his eyebrows, silently telling me to open it. I unwadded the ball and read the few words.
I know a few people I would like to get rid of. When does your dad get out again?
I looked back at him and he was laughing with his friends. I wadded the paper up again and threw it angerily across the room. The whole reason this started was because word got out that my dad is in prison for life for murder. When I was a baby, I was given up for adoption by my parents. I was adopted at age four, I'm not sure what happened, but shortly after, I was given back. The family decided they wanted someone better I guess. Then, when I was six, I was adopted again. This time for real.
I love my mom, but not so much my dad. He has never seemed to care too much about me. He wasn't abusive, he just wasn't nice. This was the family I was still with. They had a baby that was born a couple months after I was adopted. My mom was told she couldn't get pregnant, so they turned to adoption. But she then ended up pregnant with my little sister Katie. I was happy they still adopted me though. My mom and dad divorced when I was eight and Katie was two. We don't see our dad much anymore.
But then, there's my biological parents. As I got older, I wondered about them. I wanted to know who they were, so my mom started helping me locate them. We started when I was thirteen and I finally managed to locate a part of my real family when I was sixteen. That was back in January. I had found a program that would help me locate my parents. But the person I actually located was my aunt. She told me she had a few things she needed to talk to me about and then she flew out here to Minnesota the weekend after I talked to her on the phone. She came and told me everything I needed to know about my birth parents.
I learned that my mom is in the hospital dying from cancer. I was so upset after learning that. I asked her and my mom if I could go see her. They both agreed and my aunt made arrangements for me to come back with her when she went home to Kentucky. Then, she told me about my real dad. Apparently for the last year and a half, my dad had been in prison. My parents had a two year old son named Joey. My dad drowned him in the bathtub at their house. My mom had come home and found Joey dead in the bathtub that still was full of water.
Dad was drunk and watching TV. He tried to say he didn't know Joey was in there, but it was obvious what happened. Joey was still in his day clothes and he didn't know how to work the bathtub, so there was no way he filled the tub himself and then drowned. Besides, he was two, even two years old know how not to drown in a bathtub. My dad had said he hit his head and drowned, but they proved that to be a lie. My mom filed for divorce at the same time that my dad was going through court. Oh, and they discovered that my dad had raped and killed a seventeen year old girl just a few months before killing my brother. Her body had been buried behind the barn on their property. It was discovered when the police requested premission to search the property. I was completely surprised to learn all this.
Now, how everyone found out was through a person I thought I could trust. His name was Eli. I had known Eli the same length of time I knew Logan, Carlos and James. He had become a good friend of our's. I told the guys and Eli what my aunt told me. Logan, Carlos and James kept their mouths shut like they promised. Then in April Eli became friends with Shane and his friends. He turned his back on the guys and I and he told Shane about my real dad. Now everyone knows. They are all terrible to me because of him. If they gave me a chance to say something, they would learn that I'm just as mad about it as they are.
"Kendall? Is everything okay?" Mr. Long asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up at him and he was standing infront of my desk with his arms crossed and a concerned look on his face.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked, giving him a small smile.
"Well, I've been asking for your attention for the last few minutes." He said and I lowered my head a little.
"Sorry Sir, just some things on my mind lately." He nodded his head, a sympathetic look on his face. I wasn't surprised that he knew what happened, everyone in our town knows.
"Just, try to pay more attention, please." He said, walking away and to the front of the class. Before I knew it, the bell rang and we were heading to the hallway. I collected my things and walked out the door. I looked up and saw Carlos standing there.
"Hey, Kendall!" He said, coming up to me.
"Hey," I said, walking toward my locker, Carlos followed beside me. Logan soon joined us and then James. They began talking and I joined in the conversation. I was honestly surprised they were willing to be seen with me. Don't they realize how people will treat them for being friends with me? Then again, our lockers are all together, so maybe they were just sympathizing with me and decided to walk to our lockers with me. It wouldn't surprise me. As I was standing at my locker, getting what I needed, I was all of a sudden shoved forward. I turned around to see Shane and a couple of his friends standing there. I glared at them, stepping toward them.
"Whoa! Don't kill us! We know your dad is a murderer and we've all heard the saying 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'. How far did you fall Kendall?" Shane asked, staring at me. I was so mad right now. It was just the first day, but they had been torturing me most of the summer and I hate it. I was already tired of it and now having to see them daily was worse than all the times they caught me out or when they sent me messages on Facebook or anything else.
"Leave him alone, Shane!" James said, stepping forward. Why was he defending me?
"Whatever, don't trust him too far. You may be the next body the police uncover." Shane said before walking away.
"Don't listen to-" Logan began but I cut him off.
"I won't," I said, walking away and toward my next class. I walked inside and went to the middle of the room to take my seat. I used to like being in the center of the classroom, it made it easier to pass notes to my friends around me, but now it just means I'm easier for the jerks in school to reach and torment during class. Shane and Eli walked in and Shane hit me in the back of the head as he walked by. I wasn't sure why he did stuff like that, but he did. He would push me, hit me in the back of the head or the arm and he would trip me. Sure he never liked me, he always hated me for some reason, but he never acted on it. Not until the whole school started hating me also. Now he can do and say whatever he wants to me without worrying about what the others will say or think. He now fits in with the school since he acts just like them. I just prayed the rest of the day would go by quickly and so would this year.
Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!
I walked down the front stairs of the school. I was so happy to be heading home. I didn't want to come back here tomorrow and that was going to be a problem.
"Kendall!" I turned and saw Logan coming toward me quickly. I sighed and kept walking. It was best they didn't spend time with me. My dad ruined my life, I wasn't going to let him ruin my friend's lives. "Kendall, hold up dude!" Logan said, finally catching up to me. I groaned inwardly and then turned toward him.
"What?" I asked, annoyance in my tone. He seemed a bit shocked at my annoyance, but he just brushed it off.
"Um, I wanted to know if you were okay?" Logan asked and I put my head back to face the sky and groaned.
"Yes, okay, I'm fine." I said with a sharp edge to my voice. I turned and began walking again. Logan came up and grabbed my shoulder, making me stop.
"Kendall? What's wrong?" He asked and I scoffed.
"What's wrong? What isn't wrong? This was my first day back to school and everyone has already made my life even more terrible! I didn't want to come to school because of how I was treated over summer! I've lost everything, Logan! My friends all hate me for something that wasn't my fault! I'm too afraid to be on the hockey team! Everyone has been picking on me over what my real dad did! I've never even met the man! It's not fair for them to pin all this on me! I never did anything!" I shouted at Logan, tears of anger in my eyes.
"Kendall, just forget these jerks. James, Carlos and I know they have no reason to do this. We know it's not fair and we're here for you. We understand," He said and I laughed without any real humor.
"Really? You guys understand? You're here for me?" I asked and he nodded his head. "Is that why you guys pretty much avoided me all summer? Is that why you seemed to be in such a hurry to get away when I talked to you this morning? I couldn't get you guys to say two words me until you came over to my locker earlier! What did you guys do? Decide it was unfair to treat me this way so you came back around? Well, if so, I don't want your pity or sympathy! Okay? If you guys don't want to be around, then don't be! But don't you dare pretend that you still care!" I said and then turned away, walking away fast. I had seen the hurt and surprise on Logan's face, but I didn't care. It wasn't fair to any of us if they are just pretending to still care about me. If what my dad did effected the way they see me also, then I wasn't going to force them to pretend for me.
I stormed angerily into the house, slamming the door behind me.
"Kendall? What's wrong?" Katie asked from her place on the black couch in our livingroom.
"Nothing!" I snapped and then stormed up the stairs to my room. I slammed my bedroom door shut also and threw my backpack to the side. It hit the wall with a loud thud. I began pacing around the room. I ran a hand through my hair and felt more tears in my eyes. I had been fighting them since walking away from Logan. I was so angry right now. I heard a knock on the door and I stopped pacing and looked up. The door slowly opened and my mom stuck her head in. She then came in completely, shutting the door behind her.
"Katie said you weren't in a good mood and that you snapped at her." Mom said. I sighed and my hand through my hair again.
"Look, I'll apologize to her later, I just want to be alone right now." I said and she gave me a sad look.
"School wasn't so great?" She asked and I shook my head. I let out a frustrated sigh and then sat down on my bed.
"No, everyone hates me. For the first time ever, I was the one being tortured, not the one stopping it. They wouldn't let up. It was worse than how they were through summer." I just stared at the floor. I was fighting the tears again and I didn't want mom to know I was close to crying. I heard her sigh and then her shoes on the hardwood floor as she walked toward me. She sat down on the bed next to me and wrapped her right arm around me and placed her left arm on my left arm.
"Honey, I know this is hard for you. I hate seeing you go through this, but just remember that this will pass." She said and I looked up, a tear finally escaping.
"But what if it doesn't? What if this is the way my life will be from now on? What if everyone continues to judge me based on what my biological father did? It's not fair mom," I said, sounding more like a five year old rather than a seventeen year old.
"I know, it's not fair how they treat you. You didn't know what he did. You had no part in it. They have no right to treat you this way, Kendall. Do you want me to go talk to the principle?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No, I don't want to start anything," I said and she rubbed my arm.
"I can't promise that everyone will forget this and move on from it; but I can promise that it will get better. No matter how bad things are now, it will get better. People will realize how ridiculous this all is and they'll forget it." She said and I reached up and ran my hand through my hair again. That was a habit I had when I was confused, upset or frustrated. Which I was all three of those things at the moment.
"What about the guys? They of all people should be here and not treating me this way. But they have been avoiding me just as much as everyone else." I said and she gave me a sad look.
"Talk to them. Explain how you feel and let them know that you need them. Kendall, they care more about you than anything. They are your true friends. They don't blame you for this and they never will. Besides, how do you know they actually are avoiding you? Maybe they didn't realize they were doing it." She said and I thought about that. What if they really didn't know they were avoiding me? What if they didn't mean to do it? Man, I feel really guilty for yelling at Logan now.
"Thanks mom, I need to go talk to the guys. Is that alright?" I asked and she nodded her head. I reached over and hugged her and then walked out of the room. My mom followed me out and down the stairs. I walked over to where Katie was sitting on the couch and leaned down, kissing her on top of the head.
"Sorry for snapping at you," I said and she smiled.
"It's fine," she said, reaching her arms toward me. I gave her a hug. "Are you okay now?"
"Yeah, I think I am," I said, pulling away from her. I said bye to her and mom and then walked out the front door. I decided I would go to Carlos' house first since it was the closest. It was still hot out and since I was walking, I began to sweat. I pulled my beanie from my head, smoothing out my blonde hair. I tucked the edge of the beanie into my back pocket so it was halfway hanging out. I finally reached Carlos' house and walked up to the front door. I knocked and then waited. Mrs. Garcia opened the door after a couple seconds.
"Oh, hi Kendall. I wondered when you would show up. The others are already here. They are up in Carlos' room, go on up." She said, leading me into the house. I thanked her and then made my way up the stairs. Carlos, Logan and James' parents still expected me to be around just as much as the others. They were worried when I didn't show up and had even called my mom a couple times through summer to check on me, thinking I was sick. I walked up to Carlos' door which was closed. I knocked on it and waited.
"Come in!" Carlos shouted from the other side after a couple seconds. I opened the door and slowly walked inside. They were all staring at me and I instantly felt the urge to apologize and leave. I didn't want to be around if they didn't want me around. But I needed to at least talk to them.
"Hey Kendall," James said, trying to sound happy but I could tell he was nervous.
"What's up?" Carlos asked, sounding just as happy as ever. With Carlos it was harder to tell when he was faking an emotion, so I wasn't sure if he was actually happy to see me. Logan looked away from me. I wasn't surprised he didn't want to see me. After the way I talked to him earlier, he had every right to turn away from me.
"Logan, I'm really, really sorry for yelling at you. I've just been really stressed lately and I can't handle this all." I said, staring at Logan, hoping he would at least look at me. He never did though.
"I know it's hard Kendall. But you have to realize that we never turned out backs on you. We really do care about what happens to you. We don't want you to get hurt and we hate that everyone is being so cruel to you. I wasn't trying to avoid you and I wasn't trying to upset you. Kendall, I'm sorry for everything." He said and I sighed.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. None of you do. It's just that having them be this way with me and then having it seem that you guys are avoiding me... I was wrong and I'm sorry." I said, trailing off for a moment, unsure of what I really wanted to say.
"Kendall, we know you did nothing wrong. We know they are being idiots for treating you this way. You never hurt anyone and we know you never would." Carlos said and I smiled.
"Yeah man, you should have just told us how you felt. We never meant to upset you or hurt you." James said and I nodded my head.
"I'm sorry, I should have just came and talked to you." I said and they nodded.
"It's all good, everything is said and done now." Carlos said, making us all chuckle.
"Not everything," I said, getting them to look at me with confused expressions. "I have still have to go school tomorrow and then day after, and the day after that. This is going to be a long school year." I said and they gave me sad looks.
"It'll be okay. We're here for you dude. We won't let them mess with you. We should have been there for you this past summer and we should have been there more today." James said and I shook my head.
"Don't worry about any of that. It's okay," I said, happy just to know that they really did still care. I was happy to at least still have some friends.
Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!
It had been one week since the guys and I made up. They had stuck to their word and they were doing what they could to help me get through this. But there was only so much they could do for me. Shane and his friends hadn't let up any on me. I actually think they got worse. If the first week was this terrible, I can't imagine what was to come. I walked through the doors of the school on Monday morning. I wish the weekend had lasted longer. I honestly never thought I would be wishing for the weekend just so I could get away from everyone. But here I was, wishing that the weekend was here so I could just stay away from everyone in my school.
I made a quick trip to my locker and then straight to class. I used to actually be late for class because of talking with friends, but now I'm the first in the room. I just don't want to deal with the people in the hallways. They had more of a chance to tease me and make my life miserable when walking through the halls. I looked up and saw James walked into the class. My seat was in the front of the classroom and his was in the back. I wish we had closer seats so I actually had someone near me who likes me still. But I guess we'll just have to deal with this.
I pulled out my sketchpad and began drawing in it as other came into the classroom. I was drawing a picture of a sword and shield, keeping myself too busy to pay attention to anyone else. Then my book was yanked away from me.
"Hey!" I said, looking up and seeing Shane.
"Is this how you plan to kill people? With a sword?" He asked, a smirk on his face.
"I'm not going to kill anyone!" I said, grabbing at my book, only to have them keep it from me. "Just give it here and leave me alone!" I said, trying to grab it again. I was really starting to get frustrated now. I kept reaching for it, but they kept it from me. I hated that they were being so childish right now.
"Look at this! This one is a drawing of a gun!" Eli shouted, showing everyone the picture I had drawn awhile back.
"Maybe you need some help, Kendall. Drawing pictures of knives, swords, guns and the rest of this junk isn't a good sign. What do you think of as you draw these? Do you think of how it would be to use this stuff on others?" Shane asked, taking the book from Eli and looking through it. I felt so angry right now. I was so done with them. I stood up and grabbed at my book again.
"Give it back!" I yelled and they didn't. Shane shoved me and I instantly came back, punching him in the face.
"Kendall Knight!" Mrs. Darr yelled, I looked up and saw her coming into the room. I looked over and saw Shane holding his nose. "Principle's office. Now." She said, crossing her arms.
"But they started it! They took my bo-" I tried to explain but she cut me off.
"I don't care what they did. This school has no tolerance for violence. Now, go to the principle's office." She said, I just stared at her. I couldn't believe this. So what I hit him, he had it coming to him from the beginning of summer. I grabbed my stuff, yanking my sketch book from Shane and walking out of the room. I made my way down to the principle's office.
Skip Ahead A Bit:
I had been sitting across from the principle for a little while now. He had called my mom to come and talk. I hated that I had done this, but I didn't start it.
"It's not my fault," I said and Mr. Torrap sighed and crossed his hands on his desk.
"How is it not your fault that you punched Shane?" He asked and I groaned.
"I told you, they took my sketch book and were picking on me for my drawings. He shoved me when I reached for it and then I reacted. Mr. Torrap, they have been messing with me all summer, I just got tired of it." I said and he gave me a sympathetic look. Mr. Torrap had heard about my dad, no doubt.
"I know this is hard on you Kendall, but you can't punch people. You have detention saturday for punching him. I'll deal with Shane later, don't worry. But, I still need to talk to your mom, okay?" He said and I nodded. I hated that I had to get detention. I had never had detention before. I had to pretty much be the perfect student in order to play hockey. And hockey has always been my life, but I guess it doesn't matter since I can't play hockey anyway. Before too much longer, my mom came into the office.
"Hello Mrs. Knight, I hate that I had to call you here for the first time because of Kendall being in trouble." He said and I hung my head. As if I don't feel bad enough, now you have to play the major disappointment card? I thought, not looking up at either of them. I listened as Mr. Torrap talked to mom about what happened and what would be done about it.
Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!
It was saturday and I was walking home from having to do detention. I hated it! I didn't belong there! The only good thing was that there was no talking or anything, so even though Shane was in the same room (along with his idiot friends), I was able to sit there and work on the homework I had for the weekend. I had waited until I was sure Shane and them were gone before I left the school. The last thing I needed was to be jumped outside the school.
I didn't understand why everyone had turned their backs on me because of something I had no control over. I wasn't there when my dad did any of that. It's not like I helped him! How is any of this my fault? Why are they making it my fault? It's not like them beating me is going to pay back what my dad did. They should go to Kentucky, find him and try to beat him up, not me. I can't do anything about it. Just because I'm blood related to a killer, I guess they figure it's close enough to the real killer.
"Hey!" I heard someone yell. I turned around and saw Shane and Eli walking toward me. The other two that were usually with them were nowhere to be seen.
"What?" I asked in a bitter tone.
"We just heard some interesting details of what your dad did. Did you know that how he killed that girl was from beating her to death?" Shane asked, stopping infront of me. I shook my head no. "Yeah, we learned that if you know what to look up, you can read all the newspaper articals wrote about your dad. It was said that they girl had been beat to death. And your dad confirmed that. They said he must have known there was no point in hiding or lying because he admitted to everything. He admitted that he beat that girl to death with his own hands." Shane said and I was shocked. I hadn't known about that. I guess my aunt figured learning the basics of what happened was enough.
"I hadn't been told that," I said and they both smirked.
"Why don't I believe you? I honestly think you have the same thoughts he has. The thoughts of a killer. We don't need your kind here," Shane said, taking a step toward me. I took a step back, wanting to get away from them. They both came forward, grabbing me. I fought and tried to scream only to have Eli cover my mouth. They dragged me to a secluded area behind an old, abandoned house. Shane shoved me up against the side of a shed behind the house.
"I think we need to show you how they feel. How that girl must have felt. If we teach you a lesson now, maybe we won't start finding bodies in the near future." Shane said, getting right in my face. I was terrified right now. They weren't really going to beat me to death were they? They couldn't. Even they should know that they go to jail when it's discovered. No matter what anyone thinks, I shouldn't die for what my dad did. It wasn't my fault.
Shane delivered the first punch to my stomach, making me double over when he let go of me. He punched me again in the stomach and then Eli joined in. They both began hitting me everywhere. I tried to defend myself, but there wasn't much I could do. I was praying for God to save me. I was praying someone would come around and help me. I'm not supposed to die. Not now. Not for something I had nothing to do with. But, they definitly weren't letting up on me. Shane shoved me to the ground and they began kicking me. I had my knees up to my chest and my arms over my head. There wasn't anything I could do.
"Hey! What's going on back there?" I heard a man's voice say. I didn't know who it was though. I had my eyes squeezed shut tight. They stopped kicking me at least. I then heard them running and someone coming toward me. "Can you hear me?" The person asked. I just stayed still. I was trying to fight off the strong pain that was all over my body. I finally nodded my head.
"Can you get up? Or do I need to call for an ambulance?" I waited a moment before opening my eyes and seeing a police officer kneeling beside me.
"I-I think I ca-can get u-up." I said, moving to sit up. It hurt like you wouldn't belive, but I managed to sit up. He stood up and helped me get up. It was a painful and slow process, but I was finally standing on my own feet.
"We need to get you to the hospital," he said, helping to the front of the house. There was a police cruiser parked on the curb infront of the house. He lead me over to it and I got in the passenger seat of the car. He walked around and got into the driver's seat and then made his way toward the hospital. I decided to call my mom, but the I realized that my bag had been left by the shed.
"My ph-phone was in my bag. Do you h-have a way for m-me to call my m-mom?" I asked, stuttering from the intense pain I felt. He nodded and grabbed his cell phone.
"Hello?" My mom's voice asked. I was glad she was still home.
"Mom, I need you to come to the hospital." I said, hissing from pain since I tried to move.
"The hospital? Kendall, what happened?"
"I'll explain later. Just please come," I said, knowing I would feel better having my mom around. I may be a seventeen year old, but having my mom around made things better.
"Of course I'll come! I'm heading out now." She said and I thanked her and then we said bye to each other. I hung up the phone and handed it back to the officer.
"What happened?" He asked and I looked over at him.
"They were just some jerks from my school," I said and he sighed.
"I need the full story," he said. I sighed and then proceeded to tell him the full story of what happened. All the way from why they started bullying me, to what just happened. By the time I was done, we were at the hospital.
"Okay, we'll take of this." He said before walking away and getting a nurse to come get me. She took my back and had me sit on the bed in a curtained off area. I sat there and waited for either my mom or a doctor or a nurse to walk in. After some time, a doctor finally came in, followed by my mother shortly after. The doctor asked me what happened and I explained everything to him. He asked me to strip my clothes off so he could check the wounds.
"Well, you don't have any broken bones luckily. You have a lot of bad bruising, but that will go away on it's own. You'll be in some pain for quite some time. I'll prescribe you some painkillers." The doctor said after he was done checking my body. "You can go ahead and get dressed. I would like to do some X-rays to check and make sure nothing is damaged." He said and I nodded. I was happy to get dressed. I was just standing in my boxers which made me a little uncomfortable.
After I was dressed, the doctor lead me down to the room where they do X-rays. He told me what to do and he took the X-rays. He then put them on the board and turned the light on, looking over them.
"You are one lucky kid, Kendall. Nothing is damaged, nothing is broken. Due to all the bruising and how you explained what they did, I'm surprised by this." He said and I nodded. I didn't feel too lucky, but I guess I am. The doctor and my mom talked a little more and then he let us go. I had tuned my mom out as we drove home. I didn't want to listen to her ranting over this.
Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!
It had been two weeks since Shane and Eli had beat me up. They got into trouble, but not much. Since they didn't really do any damage to me other than the bruising, they didn't get into much trouble. I had mostly avoided them, staying as far as I could. I also didn't like being alone, I tried to stay close to someone when walking. Even if that person didn't like me, I felt safer not being alone. I also don't walk home alone anymore. I walk with the guys or my mom comes and picks me up.
Nothing had changed and nothing was going to change. I was still being treated the same way. Only it had gotten a little worse since Shane and Eli told everyone what they had read on some website. It was different articals surrounding my dad. I had gotten on the website myself and found that everything they said was true. Everything my dad did was terrible. I couldn't believe this was the man who I would have called dad had I not been given for adoption. I still say he's my dad, even though I don't consider him that. I wasn't sure why though. I should just call him Brian. That was his first name. I didn't consider him my dad, so why should I call him dad?
The man who was my dad was named Keith Knight. He may not had been the best dad to me, but at least he was a dad. He still cared about me, that was clear. And even if he never treated me as good as he treated Katie or he never actually treated me like how a dad would treat their son, he still cared. He had a hard time bonding with me since I wasn't his real kid. He was just a bit messed up and confused now, so even Katie doesn't hear from him. But we know he still cares. He's still there for us.
I knew that over time, this would hopefully die down. Maybe people really will learn that they are being ridiculous and that I did nothing wrong. Then maybe they be mad at Shane and Eli, not me. I just want people to know that it's not my fault.
So, like I said, everything in this story actually happened to me. And I want to make this clear right now, I did NOT have Ireland write this story so I could get attention. I had her write this story for bullying awareness. I wanted/want to share my story to encourage other bully victims. I want you guys to know that you ARE worth something, you may not feel like it because of your situation, believe I know, but you are worth more than anything! I hate seeing bully victims give into the bullying and believe what they're being told. Reach out! Talk to someone! Leave the situation! I know that's easier said than done, I really do. But you need to put yourself first when you get into this kind of situation. You need to step up and decide that if no one else is going to help you, then you'll help yourself. Bullying is never okay and suicide is never the answer. I know how hard it is to get out of that dark place, but please remember that you're not replaceable. There's only one YOU and the world has lost something great if you're gone.
And I want you to know that I would NEVER rape or kill a girl! I wouldn't even hold a girl's hand unless she wanted me to do it. I know Ireland said this in her A/N but I want you to know it's true. I respect girls. I would also never hurt a kid like my brother, Joey. I have since been to his grave and my birth mom did pass away shortly after I got to meet her. She cried so much when I walked into the room and told her who I was. She held her arms out and when I hugged her, I thought she wasn't going to let go. We talked for hours, going over everything. She told me she never wanted to give me up but her and my dad couldn't keep me. She wanted me to know there wasn't anything wrong with me and she wanted to make sure I didn't have hard feelings about the fact she kept Joey. She was doing better in her living situation aside from my dad and she was able to keep him. I have NOT met my dad and I refuse to go see him.
"You may know the summary of someone's life problems, but you don't know the story. Don't try to tell someone else's story without getting all the facts first. You wouldn't tell someone the story of Romeo and Juliet without reading the book first, would you?"- Myself, Luke, for an anti-bullying artical I wrote.