Aut vincere aut mori
Author's Note: Just so all of you know, this is my first fic and I sincerely hope that you would offer me tips on how to improve my writing.
Disclaimer: Did you really think that if I was Rowling I'd be writing this?
Aut vincere aut mori
The night was dark and the moon was well up in the sky. The stars were not out tonight which made it all the more convenient for him. The Hogwarts staff would not be pleased to see a young man, barely of age, in the Forbidden Forest whose excuse for being there was becuse he was "out for his nightly stroll". This was because he, Severus Snape, was now a Death Eater, a slave to a power-hungry monster. He kept on walking, not caring where it would take him. All he needed was to get away. His dreams were flooded with visions of the master he was to serve for all eternity.
'It's a good thing it's not a full moon tonight,' he thought. 'Those arrogant hooligans are the last thing I need right now,'
As he kept on walking through the woods, he heard a barely audible crack not too far from him. He turned sharply and drew his wand.
"Show yourself," he commanded, as he waited for the unknown creature to appear.
He heard a rustle of leaves and trudging footsteps, female, they seemed. He saw a figure approaching and in his shock, nearly dropped his wand.
The figure was none other than Lily Evans. His best friend.
'Former best friend,' he corrected himself. He, however, was shaken out of his reverie when she gave out a cough. He did not know what to say to her. He was now a Death Eater and she, was Potter's girlfriend.
'Potter,' he thought, hate and anger fueling inside of him. Even in his head, his name seemed like acid.
He turned his attention back to Lily. His beautiful Lily. She looked the same, but at the same time, so different. She was now looking around uninterested, probably due to his lack of response. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was. How he would do anything to get her back, but he knew it was far too late.
"You shouldn't be out here Evans. It's well past curfew." he said quite emotionlessly, his face hidden from view.
"I am Head Girl, Snape and I think I could say the same for you." she responded coolly.
"Even the heads are forbidden to go into the forest unless they are accompanied by a teacher." said Severus, ignoring what she said.
His sentence was followed by an uncomfortable silence. All they seemed to do was stare each other down trying to break each one's barriers. However, Lily's was the first to break.
"I've missed you Sev." said Lily, searching for any type of reaction from him.
Silence was met with her dialogue. He wanted to tell her the same. How it wasn't the same without her, but instead, he settled for a more blunt response.
"I hardly think it's time to reminisce what once was, Lily." said Severus, ignoring the pain in his chest.
When she made no response to his statement, he made to leave. As he was about to exit the clearing, she opened her mouth and told him to stop.
Turning around to face her once more, he sighed. He looked into her emerald eyes.
"I do not have all night, Lily." said Severus, faking annoyance. "It is late and I would not want to be caught in the forest, with the Head Girl of all people" he added.
"It's just.... Sev, I want us to be friends again." said Lily, a look of apprehension evident on her face.
Shock could not begin to describe what he felt right now. Quickly recovering, he felt the burden in his heart lessening. He did not say anything, but he motioned for her to continue.
"After you called me that word, I was just so mad. I thought you were choosing them over me." she continued her explanation, but Severus could hear no more. With his heart overflowing with joy at having his best friend and the love of his life back, he did not seem to realize that she was done talking and was now looking at him.
Lily heaved a heavy sigh and finally looked at him, looking for a reaction. She felt her heart break when she saw that he was not looking at her with a happy look on his face. In fact, he did not seem to be paying attention at all! She did not understand. She thought he'd be thrilled if they would become friends again. More silence followed. Lily could no longer take it. She made a move to leave.
"Lily," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Lily sighed once more and looked at him. Taking in every inch of him. His obsidian eyes, his lean stature, his everything. She, however, was not prepared for what he did next. He took a step toward her and without a moment's warning, grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her.
"Lily, don't you understand?" said Severus. "I...I am a Death Eater now, Lily, a killer. And you, are muggle-born, you aren't safe with me."
"B-but Sev," said Lily, her voice shaking and tears ready to fall. "Y-you would never hurt me, wouldn't you?" she continued, ready to break down.
"No. I...I would never, ever hurt you, Lily. It's just.. I am a danger to you. We're at a war. It's either you conquer or you die." said Severus, making a step towards her, trying his best to soothe her worries.
She did not say anything after that. They just remained in the same position for a long while. Lily crying onto his shoulder, shaking with sobs and Severus whispering words into her ear. She finally stopped and looked up at him, their eyes meeting.
"Sev," she whispered quietly, but he placed a finger on her lips to silence her.
Their faces were only centimeters apart, each feeling the other's hot breath on their faces. Severus made no move to continue the motion. All he did was remain in that position, waiting for Lily to make a decision. Had she not have spoken to him tonight, she would not have done it, but she kissed him. Severus seemed surprised by her actions, but he did not stop her. Instead, he responded with a ferocity that surprised Lily. He placed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. At the same time, she wrapped her arms around his neck, not wanting to let go. Neither of them had ever felt this amazing. They stopped, both remembering that oxygen was vital for survival. Both breathing heavily and shocked at what they just did, all they could do was stare. There was a pregnant pause.
Finally, Lily seemed to come back to her senses. "I should go," said Lily. "I still have to patrol the grounds."
"Right... So.. I guess this is goodbye, Lily." said Severus, hand outstreched to her.
"Goodbye, Severus" said Lily, taking his outstreched hand in hers.
Severus knew that this was no ordinary goodbye. It wasn't just a goodbye with a 'I'll see you tomorrow!', but a goodbye that could last a lifetime, forever. Severus knew that he was making the right decision. Even if it did hurt him to admit it, Lily was safer with Potter.
'Take good care of her, Potter' he mentally said. He looked at Lily one last time before she would leave his life for all eternity.
Lily was the first to leave the clearing. Severus could still hear her soft sighs echoing through the forest, her footsteps against the hard forest floor. Finally, when he could hear her no more, he turned his back and left.
'Lily...' he thought.
As he reached his common room and laid on his four-poster bed, his mind was still occupied on the decisions he made tonight. With one last sigh, Severus closed his eyes and let sleep take over him.
Author's Note: Well... that's that. I ask all of you for tips and please review. No flames please!