"I don't believe in anything but myself, I don't believe in anything but myself."
I'm Hanna, the fat girl. The girl that you don't want to invite to your birthday party, but your mom makes you. Ali, the queen bee, is the only reason I'm popular. She's the only reason anyone even casts a glance at me. As she said, when she found me with Mike that terrible night, someone's going to love me, but it might take longer than everyone else.
"But then you open up the door, you open up the door, and I start to believe in something else."
Yet, then there's Emily Fields. Spencer and Aria are so sweet, but Emily's different. Her eyes are always so kind, and full of love. She cares about me, she treats me like a real, beautiful person. She makes you feel more butterflies than Sean Ackard ever did, but no one, especially Ali, couldn't find out.
"But how do I know if I'll make it through, how do I know where's the proof in you."
Ali has just taught me a new skill, to make me look prettier. According to her, it's as easy as sticking a tooth brush at the back of my throat, and vomiting. I'm shaking everytime, I do it, terrified I'm going to hurt myself. But if this will make me look like Alison, maybe I'll have Emily look at me the way she looks at her.
"And so it goes, the soldier knows. The battle with the heart isn't easily won."
It's been one year since Ali disappeared, and life has completely changed. No longer the fat girl, I'm best friends with the reformed nerd, Mona Vanderwaal. We're the new queen bee's, even if that's not who I exactly want to be. I saw Emily and Aria today, Aria's pink streak is gone, thank god. Emily's the same absolute goddess, she smiled at me across the classroom today, and I nearly exploded.
"I sit in the back of the bus, watching the world go by. Watching the world go by, all by myself."
Someone knows everything. I'm scared it's Ali, but they just found her body, it can't be her. They know about my eating disorder, and now, they know Emily's secret. I was sent a photo of Emily, and that new girl, Maya, kissing passionately at Noel Kahn's party. I feared for her secret coming out, and had to tell her the truth. I told her that I supported her no matter what, because inside, I when the time was right, she's have to give me the same speech.
"I took a faithful leap, an act of all my things, and all my love, and gave it to somebody else."
Tonight was one of the craziest nights of my life. At first, Caleb and Mona had surprised me completely, which made me happy, but inside guilty. I love Caleb, I really do, but not like I love Em. She's grown into this spectacular person, who is strong, and wise, and especially gentle. Tonight, Maya had broken her heart once more, and I couldn't stand it anymore. Between Spencer on her A mission, and Aria dealing with Fitz, it was just us. As Emily vented everything to me, I kissed her. It was impulsive, and possibly not the right time, but it felt so, so right. Although she was coy, I know Em enjoyed it as much as me. Suddenly, a call from Spencer hit me in the heart. Mona, my best friend was A..
"The battle with the heart isn't easily won, but it can be won."
That night, my mermaid and I took shifts. I would cry about Mona, and her epic, earth shattering betrayal, and Emily would hold me. She would cry, sob actually, about the tragic loss of Maya, her first, genuine love. All we had was each other, no longer defined by the labels that Alison had given us, all we were was two broken girls, trying to pick up the pieces, together...