In the beginning, there was the Flanneled One.
And the Flanneled One was bearded, and the Flanneled One loved racing; and the Flanneled One looked upon the world and said: "It is not complete."
When this was decided, the Flanneled One called upon his fairy helper Plottius Bunnius. Plottius Bunnius was a good fairy, and had helped the Flanneled One on a number of occasions, such as the last small miracle American Graffiti. The Flanneled One nodded at Plottius Bunnius and set to work.
However, as happens in stories such as this, there was a not-so-good fairy called Stupidus Characterus. Stupidus Characterus had gone against the Flanneled One before the beginning and had been banished from the Flanneled One's presence. But Stupidus Characterus was a crafty fairy, and could change shapes. He took on Plottius Bunnius' form, and while Plottius Bunnius was giving ideas in the Flanneled One's right ear, Stupidus Characterus began to give his own ideas into the Flanneled One's left ear.
Thus began the war of the fairies.
Plottius gave the idea of lightsabers.
Stupidus made all of Luke Skywalker's lines sound whiny.
Plottius saw this, and struck back with the character Boba Fett.
Stupidus gave Fett a stupid backstory.
Plottius, getting concerned, made Anakin Skywalker a cute little boy.
Stupidus, grinning smugly, made the Ewoks.
Plottius gasped in horror, and created the line "Are you an Angel?"
Stupidus laughed and prepared for the final blow: he made Jar Jar Binks.
Plottius screamed in outrage, then calmed, for she had a trick up her sleeve: for Anakin Skywalker she cast Hayden Christiensen.
Stupidus began to howl in agony, having her devilish plan thwarted. The Flanneled One smiled and flicked Stupidus off his shoulder with the twitch of a finger.
And Plottius Bunnius and the Flanneled One smiled at each other, and they looked at the final draft of Star Wars.
And the Flanneled One said: "It is good."