She knew when he arrived, she could hear him talking to the guards before he entered. She sat in the remains of the Master bedroom on the Valiant. She wasn't sure if they put her here to punish her or not. They probably thought her insane. Lucy knew she'd stay here until they decided what to do with her. The Valiant was neutral territory- they could deal with her here without violating any Earth laws.

"Hello."

Lucy slowly turned to face the Doctor, keeping her face blank. She had gotten so very good at that.

"Brought you these," he said, tossing a bundle at her feet. It was clothes- a simple shirt, pants, and shoes.

"Thank you," she said carefully, slowly picking them up and gliding into the bathroom. She tore off her red silk dress and quickly pulled on the simple gray cotton. It made her look lumpy and shapeless. A relief after spending the past year and a half dressing up for him.

The Doctor was standing by the window when she came out, his back stiff and his arms crossed behind his back. After a long moment he turned around. Lucy stared at him for a moment. It was odd, seeing him like this. She had only seen him this young in the many photographs and grainy camera footage he had pored after for months.

"It's a Time Lord tradition to burn the dead and let the wind take the ashes," the Doctor finally said, his eyes boring into hers. He was trying to intimidate her, but she was long past such emotions. "I can arrange for you to come."

For a moment Lucy felt angry, a deep proper anger at the man who would willingly save the Master's life. She swallowed and reigned it in, trying to become a living statue. Emotionless. "No."

An answering fit of dark emotion flared in the Doctor's eyes. "You're his wife."

"Funerals are for those who loved the dead," Lucy replied. "I do not love him."

The Doctor had clenched his jaw, his emotions wound taut, even has his face stayed blank.

"Calm down," Lucy told him, moving slowly to sit on the bed.

"I am," he said, even though there was so much more power in his voice.

"There are more than a billion women on Earth, Doctor," Lucy began. "In England alone there are a hundred women prettier and cleverer than myself. He didn't choose me for that."

"Why?" It was the question he had wanted to ask for a long time.

"I understand people," Lucy said quietly. "I went a bit mad because of it. But he found me, a little girl who understood why he would want to take this Earth and start a new race. He loved me for it. And I understand you, the man who hates me more than anyone else on this planet."

A flicker of fear flashed across the Doctor's face. "I don't-"

"You do." Lucy looked away. "You do because he loved me and not you. Because he couldn't love you and everything the two of you have done since he could. And that is why I cannot stand beside you at his funeral. You loved him, and you tried to save him. He loved me and I killed him. You deserve a better goodbye than that."

The Doctor stared at her, thinking. She turned to look in the mirror, studying her reflection, She studied the cut, just under her chin, where the Master's ring had cut through after she had fallen asleep instead of waiting for him after he went to find Martha Jones. She traced the dark skin around her eye, where he had back handed her after she dared to suggest that he leave the Doctor alone for one day. In her mind's eye, she could see the scars on her back after they had had an argument over Japan and he had pushed her, however accidentally, down a flight of stairs and into a glass table. Lucy Cole had once loved the Master, but Lucy Saxon had nothing but hardness in her heart.

The only Time Lord she did care about, the Doctor, left without another word. Lucy watched him go but didn't try to stop him, willing to show him the last bit of mercy she had left.