William read somewhere that you don't fall in love at once, you fall in love in stages. He's not sure if that fits him though. This man he loves, it feels like he has loved him even before he met him. It feels unfair to love him and to receive his love in return when he isn't sure if that love is for him. He feels like a fraud in his own love life.
The first stage is infuriation.
He doesn't understand why this man, a demon as he claims decides to bother him. Even though there is a thrill, a rush of adrenalin that he can't explain. He decides to ignore it. The itch doesn't leave him alone and when he sleeps he dreams of the demon's smiling face, it looks kind. Demons aren't supposed to feel safe, William knows that, he read a bible once. It's impossible to ignore this man demon when he's all in William's space. It frustrates no it angers him. How dare this, this idiot barge into his life and claim a part in it. What scares William is how easy it fits, as if somehow there was a hole in his empty life that he only noticed now because someone filled it.
The second stage is acceptance.
William can't pinpoint exactly when he no longer felt annoyed with his presence. He might not admit to himself that the man demon makes him happy, he can't yet. Admitting that would open a door to more emotions and William is man enough to know when something could overwhelm even him. So he accepts him in his life. This nuisance with no idea of private space, this man whose eyes twinkle when he smiles, who greets him as if William is his sun. He scares himself when he smiles back. The light that radiates from the man should not belong to a demon, it is like an angel's halo, like a god. William is a man of science but even he feels the tugging in his abdomen. Perhaps faith is written in atoms.
The third stage is, well William doesn't have a word for it. It's a feeling, the warm rush, a smile, holding hands, having inside jokes. They tell him it's love, but it's not. Not yet, it's for the lack of better words, a crush. He smiles and pulls the man down to kiss him, grins into his neck when the other gets flustered. William feels like he's walking on air. It feels amazing, it feels dangerous. He's afraid he can't let it go when he has to. He's sure that one day, heaven and hell will fall and he will lose this so he clings to it, this tiny happy bubble that is theirs. He clings a bit too desperate for a man who claims to be a realist.
The fourth stage is comfort.
The demon man hugs him and William melts into it. The nights are long and days are short. There isn't enough time but moments like this it feels like time is a non-existent thing. He can ignore the sting when he whispers a different name is his sleep. Ignores the clenching of his chest when he wants to share a memory with William that he was no part of. He pretends he's not gasping for a breath when he looks into his eyes and notices that he doesn't see William. Not now, there is not to ignore because time stands still in their bubble and William is at ease. Comfort of the soul is comfort of the heart.
The fifth and final stage is unconditional love.
This man he loves doesn't belong to William, not really. They smile, kiss and share jokes and yet they're not real. When William closes his eyes he can only think of him, but he doubts if it's the other way around too. He knows that when given the chance he would give William up for him. So when he kisses his cheek and notices the pinched smile on his face, he knows. William's love is unconditional so this sacrifice doesn't hurt, not when he knows that the love that he has for him goes beyond his years.
He puts on the ring.
"Hello Dantalion."