Title: My Dark Emotions

Fandom: Blue Exorcist (Ao No Exorcist)

Rating: T/15+ (may change due to later chapters)

Genre: Supernatural

Summary: After an argument with his brother, Rin took off and never came back. But now he's back, only he's different than he was before. And he's working for the enemy? What's going on?

Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist because if I did the story line would've been different and Rin's friends wouldn't be such a pain in the ass

Warning: there is a lot of language that may be inappropriate to most readers and maybe some missed spelled words and context

Chapter One

I was not always like this

But you're the one

Who made me this way

Leaning against the back of the bench lazily with his arms draped over the back, the fifteen year old boy just watched the nearly empty sky as he heard other students chatting away as they passed him. Everyone appeared to be happy to start a new life, graduating from middle school only to move on to high school. Three years left and then off to the real world. It was a never ending cycle, one that the boy hated.

Groaning as he brushed the ends of his unruly black-blue hair that fell into his eyes away, the boy pulled out his cell phone from his pocket to check the time, only to find it was 14:07 before slipping it back in his pocket. He hated waiting for his asshole of his baby twin brother. The guy always took too long, so that's when the elder twin decided to wait down the block instead of at the school gate or near the entrance. It wasn't just because it was a pain in the ass and now he finally had a place to relax; it was also so that he wouldn't have to worry about others trying to pick a fight with him.

Just as the boy was pinning part of his bangs to the side behind his ear with a pin that had a skull attached to the end he heard his younger twin's voice followed by giggling voices. Looking up, he saw his fraternal twin Yukio smiling as he pushed his glasses up his nose. The bastard was smiling now, but the elder Okumura twin knew that once Yukio was free of his fans he'd act like the asshole that he was in front of his elder brother Rin.

Rin rolled his eyes and turned his attention somewhere else, and then a smirk let up his face when he found one of the sluts of the school winking at him. She then smirked when Rin smirked back, but that smirk faltered when he flipped her off and started to walk faster toward her friends. "Disgusting," he muttered under his breath. That was one reason he was never popular with the girls, he never gave them the time of day. And plus the only reason they wanted to get with him was to either get close to Yukio or to get into Rin's pants, which was never going to happen.

Yukio then seemed to spot him because he grinned and was about to wave a greeting at Rin, but then he dropped his hand and frowned as if he just remembered that he was meant to hate Rin's very existent.

Rin scoffed at the gesture of his baby brother, stood up from the bench, and turned his back on his brother. As he stood there, his back toward his brother, he pulled out his cell again and flicked through his text messages, only to have his eye twitch at the amount of missed texts and calls he got from his foster father Fujimoto had sent him. Most likely to see if I'm actually getting the brat – thought Rin as he deleted all the texts.

Hearing someone clearing their throat to get his attention, Rin glanced over his shoulder with disinterest only to find that Yukio was right there behind him with his brow raised. Rin then pushed down his eagerness and joy to the fact that Yukio was now talking to him after seven months before it fully took over. He hated to show that side to him now since he was no longer an immature brat anymore.

"Is there something wrong, Nii-san? Do you need something?" asked Yukio; though he tried to hide the bitterness he felt Rin still was able to sense it.

Rin shrugged as if he couldn't care less before smirking at a group of passing girls that each blushed when his eyes met theirs. "It's not something you can give me, little brother," he said, returning his gaze back to Yukio who was now glaring at him. "Anyways, we'd better get going or the old man will get pissed at me because we haven't made up yet."

Yukio's glare disappeared only to be replaced with his usual cold mask.

"I'm not pissed at you, so we don't need to make up anything," said the younger of the Okumura twins. His tone was automatic and, though it was hidden pretty well, Rin detected a sense of hate.

Rin snorted and started to walk away, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his black jeans. "Yeah, whatever," he muttered, wanting to roll his eyes, but that would show who was the most immature of the two. He then heard the sound of footsteps following right behind him, but Rin was too deep in his own thoughts of the past to process that he was being followed.

Yukio use to always be the crybaby of the two and would always come running to Rin whenever he was scared or bullied. His little brother's tears would always bring rage and flames coursing through his body and without another thought he did what he had to do to protect his little brother. But something happened that changed both of them. Yukio stopped telling him things and stopped running to his nii-san for help, and as for Rin things could've been better. He learned about who he was and what he was due to an accident in the fifth grade.

He couldn't remember what happened very well, but he knew that he was in a fight to protect his brother. Yukio had come crying to him because a bunch of kids were picking on him, at first Rin was trying to reason with them (doing what Fujimoto taught him, instead of resorting to violence right away). But something they said made him snap, and before he could stop himself he was already throwing a punch straight for one of the boy's faces. The rest was all a blur, but when he woke up from his trance he found himself covered in blood and Yukio staring at him with shock and fear.

It must've been that incident what separated us – thought Rin, glancing back over his shoulder to Yukio, but those thoughts were quickly pushed out of his mind when he noticed a small bruise on his younger twin's neck. "Who was the lucky girl that caught your eye?" he asked in a tone that clearly said he didn't care.

"Just a friend," replied the younger, but Rin knew he was lying due to the hesitant look in his twin's eyes as he smiled. He understood right away what was going on when he noticed Yukio was always coming home late with bruises all over his neck and chest. Their father didn't notice, and Rin was going to keep it that way (that's why he always made excuses for his baby brother when Fujimoto asked where Yukio was).

Smirking, Rin stopped walking and turned his full attention to his brother. "So she's the reason for all this late night outs and coming home covered in marks, eh?"

Yukio fidgeted and looked like he wasn't expecting his brother to be able to put two and two together. Come on just because I don't go to school doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm a whole lot smarter than I let people let on. And then Yukio did something that surprised the shit out of Rin, his eyes softened as he chuckled slightly. It's been years since Rin saw Yukio actually let his guard down, especially around him.

"What's her name? Is she pretty?" Rin asked slightly interested in the girl that had caught his little brother's attention. Yukio appeared once again flustered before sighing, running a hand through his dark brown locks.

Rin thought he wasn't going to answer, so instead of pestering him he turned and continued to walk away. "Her name's Ayano," answered Yukio when Rin was already ten steps away. Something about this whole thing made Rin grin. He was happy that Yukio was opening up to him, and it made him wonder how much more he could get Yukio to open up to him. But as quickly as it had come, Rin had squashed those feelings knowing that eventually they would back fire, maybe not now but soon.

"I helped her when she was being harassed by a high school student," continued Yukio. "I guess from there it all went… up hill."

Rin nodded his understanding before glancing over his shoulder with a small smile as pride filled his usually emotionless eyes. "Wish I could've seen that," he said causing Yukio to throw back his head as he laughed. This brotherly warmth and moment almost felt like when they were younger. There was no dark atmosphere surrounding them or glares or side comments. It was just warmth.

But still Rin didn't let his guard down.

Rin turned away, wiping away all emotion on his face, and started walking again, followed by Yukio. It was quiet, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence that Rin was use to. This one was filled with bliss and tranquility. But just as they turned the corner, their home right in sight, Yukio suddenly spoke causing Rin to tense. "I miss this," stated the younger twin.

"Huh?"

"I said I missed this. You know, walking home with you and talking about anything and everything… I feel as if I hardly see you anymore," said Yukio, Rin noticed that he was no longer walking due to the lack of footfalls behind him.

Rin didn't look behind him, afraid to look into his brother's sea-green eyes, and just stood there as he waited for the lump in his throat to disappear. But it wouldn't. Swallowing down the lump, which took about four tries, Rin turned to look into his brother's eyes. Yukio should know better than anyone that this conversation was now heading into a dangerous territory, but from the look in the eyes of his twin Rin knew that he wanted to talk about it. There was nothing to talk about though, except for the fact that they have changed. Yukio was the gentleman while Rin was the playboy who always went out with his so-called friends to drink and stay out late. Everything was different. They were no longer little kids who needed to stick to each other.

He turned away from his brother to look across the street, not really seeing the people or the stores. "Well, we're not kids anymore, Yukio. We can't be around each other twenty-four-seven like we use to. Besides…" – Rin then gazed at his brother from the corner of his eye, noticing that there was a frown upon his lips – "you and the old man are always together and hanging out and stuff. I guess I was tired of feeling like the third wheel.

"I felt like I wasn't wanted, so I started going out a lot to get away. Fighting helps me forget that I will never be as good as you, that I'll always be a horrible son."

Yukio's frown deepened causing Rin to sigh before giving his brother his full attention.

"I didn't know Father and I gave you the impression that we didn't want you around," Yukio said with deep bitterness in his voice. Rin parted his lips to speak, but Yukio cut him off. "Just shut up! You know what, Rin; maybe if you actually tried and actually cared about your life then maybe Father and I wouldn't have to exclude you from the family!"

Rin did care about his life, he did try, but every time he did it felt like things got worse for him. Of course, there would always be obstacles in your way to achieve your goal, but it wasn't that. It was that Yukio and Fujimoto made things harder on him by ignoring him. That was one of the reasons why he acted the way he did. They never paid any attention to him otherwise, even if he had all A's or B's on his report card.

"Whatever you say, Yukio," Rin said, placing on his cold mask. "Tell the old man I'll be late again, so I won't be there for dinner." It was a good thing that Rin kept his guard up because he knew this would happen. Before when he was unprepared for it he would always end up heartbroken, the only cure for it was to beat the shit out of someone or drink his heart out until he got a major hangover.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow," muttered the younger, suddenly sounding and looking apologetic as if he couldn't stand the cold, distant Rin that now stood before him.

But of course Rin said nothing, he had shut off his emotions. Even so he wondered why Yukio brought up that fact. He knew his little brother was going away to his new high school life, that he worked hard to get into it while Rin worked hard to get a job far away from them somewhere in England, though neither Yukio nor Fujimoto knew, at least not yet.

Rin pulled a small smile which held no emotion before walking passed his brother. "Don't worry, I'll be back to see you off," he said as he thought a silent If I feel like it. "Good luck and make something of yourself." And just when he was about to turn the corner he heard Yukio mutter under his breath. It wasn't meant to be heard, but the wind had carried it to Rin.

"I wish you were dead."

Closing his eyes as he locked his fingers together and placed them on the back of his head, Rin spoke over his shoulder loud enough for Yukio to hear, "You and me both, brother." Rin spat the word brother which caused the younger twin to flinch, fighting back tears.

The End