Day 1:
I was given this book to keep record of Ivan and Natalya. This should be a happy day but it is not, at least for me. Mother and father have abandoned me and left me in charge of these two. Today I turn 7.
I'm so scared.
It's cold out tonight and I can't find enough food for all of us. I suppose I'll give up my dinner like last night… and the night before that. I found out how to make a fire, so that is the one bright spot of today.
Today Ivan asked me why mother and father abandoned us, if it was something he said or did. He recalled eating father's borscht when he mistook it for his own. He still has a scar from that night. I told him that it was nothing he did, or any of us did. We're all clinging to the thin thread that is our family right now. Natalya won't let go of Ivan, as she always has. Although now, instead of a kind of sisterly love, a hungry fear has grown in her eyes when she looks at him. He pretends not to notice, but I can see that he is disturbed by the fact that he must be such a role model for her now. None of us are old enough to do that…
I'm scared.
So tonight, mother and father, if one day you're reading this… please know; I'm cold, I'm hungry, and I'm terrified.
If this is what it takes to be a country, take my land. Take all of it.
Nothing can be worth the pain you've caused Ivan and Natalya.
Goodnight,
Yekaterina.