Control

Emma was nervous.

Her second date with Will was tonight. No, forget that, it wasn't a date. It was her going over to his apartment to have sex. That was all.

She took a deep breath and knocked on his door. She heard a faint "One second!" from inside the apartment and ran her hands over her skirt, You can do this. It's just Will. You're always comfortable around Will. But tonight was different. All the other times she was nervous around Will was because she knew she couldn't have him. But she wasn't apprehensively nervous then as she was now. Then she was nervous because she knew she was in love with some one she couldn't have. And now she did have him, or didn't, to be honest she was a little confused on what their label was. Last week they where dating, then they weren't, now here she was starting at Will's optimistic face about to give him her virginity.

"Are you coming in?"

"Um, yeah yeah, sorry." He moved so she could walk inside and, being a man, he allowed his eyes to drift lower and lower on her body when she graciously walked in.

"I thought we could watch a movie and work up to…" He trailed off and Emma could see he was nervous as well. That made her feel slightly less nervous. "So I made some popcorn and poured some tea. That glass is yours." He pointed to a glass with a straw in it and Emma's heart soared at the action. Remembering when Terri worked at the school as a nurse and 'cleaned' Emma's coffee cup with her saliva Emma blushed and looked at him and whispered her thanks.

"And don't worry, I bought my own movies since the last time you where over here." He smiled and she attempted to smile back at him.

"What movies do you have?" She asked, moving to sit on the couch across from her drink while Will walked over the bookshelf that was more of a movie shelf.

"Well, um," He cleared his throat, "I have um, The Matrix, most of Lord of the Rings, a few romantic comedies," He heard Emma stifle a laugh and turned back to look at her, "What's wrong with that?"

"You really have been out of the game a while haven't you?" He walked towards the couch, resting both of his hands on the back and leaning over Emma.

"You're not just a rebound you know. It might seem like you are, because I dated you right after I told her," He refused to say her name tonight, he just wanted to forget her. "it was over. But you're not a rebound. I've wanted to do this for the longest time." He whispered his question while moving closer to her face, her lips in particular. "Am I your rebound?" Her breath was hot against his lips, and if he wasn't standing over the couch he would carry her to his bedroom bridal style, kissing her fiercely. But he was standing over the couch.

"No" He kissed her then, not hard and fierce like she expected, but soft and passionate like this would be the last kiss they ever shared.

He pulled away too quickly.

"Mmh" He shoke his head from left to right "Got to save some for later" He touched the underside of her chin and walked away from her, unsure if her gaze was following him or not.

"I also have a few scary movies and stuff. What do you want to watch?"

"Either of them, I don't think we'll actually be watching them, do you?" She stated honestly and his pants got tighter. He turned around abruptly and told himself to breathe. "No, I don't think any of them would get watched." he agreed and sat down next to her, wishing nothing more than to run his hand up her leg. Soon Will, control yourself.

"So" he turned to look at her, feeling an awkward tension mask the room. She mirrored his actions slowly before making her confession.

"I'm nervous." A chuckle passed her lips, "My hands are clammy."

"Here, let me put in the movie, to distract you."

"I want to do it tonight, Will. I don't want you to think that I don't want to." She told him while his back was to her and she saw the tension increase, then recede, then increase more.

His confession shocked her even though she knew it to be true previously in the evening. "I'm nervous too." He took a deep breath and tentatively grasped her hands, "I want this to be perfect for you because you'll remember your first time for the rest of your life. I just-I don't want to fail."

"Will," In the background Emma heard the beginning of whatever movie Will put in, "It will be perfect because it's you."

Will moved to place his lips on hers but she backed away, "Can we take this really really slowly?" She was submissive in her question and he was submissive in his answer. "Yeah, sure. We can go as slow as you want."

"Okay, thank you." she blushed fiercely, "I really want to kiss you now." He mouthed the word 'Okay' but only because he couldn't speak. They slowly moved toward each other, their hot and heavy breaths mixing with one another and his knee brushed her skirt-covered one as they got closer and closer. Much to his surprise, Emma tilted her head up in the slightest and forced their lips to connect. Will tried his hardest not to lunge at her and make her whimper and moan and writhe underneath him. He made the kiss as soft and slow as possible, their lips moving on top of each other, both trying to be closer than either ever thought possible. Will moved his head to the left, his lips finding better purchase there after their noses brushed in the most intimate way. Will tried to make the kiss more passionate by cupping her neck with his left hand and pushing his lips more forcefully against her own while his right hand dug a permeant marker of the passion shared that night into the couch cushion. He traced her lips with his tongue in an attempt to make this kiss the most passionate kiss yet.

Emma pulled away. Her right hand went behind her to keep her from falling off the couch or back onto Wills lips. His head followed hers automatically but when he saw her face full of tension and regret and her chin downcasted to her chest, he sat up straighter noticing then just how much he was leaned into the kiss.

He automatically comforted her, assuming the sudden loss of warmth had something to do with her OCD. "What's wrong? Your teeth are clean, your breath smells nice, I-"

"No, no it's not you, it's it's me. I-I didn't," She took a deep breath before continuing, determined to speak her next sentence without stuttering. "I thought this would be easier." She laughed at her own words, they sounded so inexperienced and she hated that.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to"

"No!" Emma sounded more desperate than she meant to let out, and blushed. "I, I want to do this Will."

"Okay" He placed his hand on her knee, nodding to it and looking in her eyes, silently asking if this was okay. She nodded yes and he moved torturously slow towards her lips.

"Will. Please." He heard her beg and couldn't help the smile poking at his lips, but didn't change his speed towards her. His lips finally touched hers and she sighed. He kissed her languorously, still being painfully slow. She whimpered, hoping to show her need to add more passion to the kiss but he did nothing to acknowledge her cries. The hand on her knee slowly moved up her body to rest on her upper thigh, then her hip, and up to her waist. By now it was resting on her rips, his thumb was lightly brushing the underside of her breast making her push into the kiss.

She practically moaned his name and felt her cheeks go a bright shade of pink.

His respond wasn't a moan but a growl, "Emma"

"Kiss me"

"I am"

"No," She pulled away just the slightest, "Harder. Needier. More." She was shocked by his growl and the way his lips crashed against hers after her request and disappointed when he pulled away again.

"What?"

"I-I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for Emma."

"Will, when I leave I expect to not be a virgin anymore," His pants got tighter, "There isn't going to be anything I'm not ready for."

"Em," He resisted the urge to call her sweetie, "There are different types of sex. I don't know which one you want and that is making this harder for me to make the right moves."

"There are different types?" she asked, ashamed of her innocence once again.

"Well yeah. There's sex, making love, and" he cleared his throat in order to make room for the vulgar slang to come out of his mouth and to her ears, "fucking."

"I-I" She stuttered upon her words as if she was trying to walk across rail road tracks on one foot. "I'm sorry."

"No, what are you sorry for?"

"I don't know so much about this stuff. I don't know what I want. I don't want to be a virgin anymore, I want to have power over my body, but I want it to mean something also."

"Em,"

"Will, I want to do this, really."

"I don't know Emma" He let his back hit the couch and ran his hands through his hair.

Emma made a confession then, one she didn't know if it was completely true or not, "I think it's sorta weird for me, making out in a space that you shared with her. You know, a place she made a fake baby in."

"Is that what this is about?" Will asked, sounding offended.

"No, maybe, I don't know." She took a deep breath before making her third confession of the night, "I want to be loved by you Will, I want you to make love to me."

He sat up straighter, "Really?"

She blushed, "Yeah really"

"Okay" He kissed her and she responded very positively, dragging him down by the hem of his shirt to hover above her while his hands explored the curves of her body. They kissed passionately at first before slowly becoming more and more hungry and needy. Will was kissing the spot on her neck just below her ear before he whispered in it, "Bedroom?" Her bite to his ear was his conformation on the subject. She wrapped her legs around his hips in anticipation of being picked up and carried to the bedroom. Will's bedroom. His length got harder when she unintentionally hitched her hips into his and he growled in her ear, feeling her shake in his arms in anticipation.

He gently deposited her onto the edge of his bed, climbing seductively up her body, his hands burning a trail as his traced the outline of her smooth legs up to her thighs and up her torso before his hands landed at her side when his lips found on hers.

His kisses were wet and sloppy, but Emma didn't feel dirty, she felt loved. She began working on Wills pants and groaned in satisfaction when his hips jerked into her hand. She pulled his pants down until he had to do it himself, and he was left in a tight black v-neck and red boxers.

His erection was hard to miss.

He bent down to take Emma's shoe off with so much grace she almost forgot what they where about to do. He left for a moment to place her shoes by the door.

"I want to undress you" He whispered after he climbed on top of her again while playing with the hem of her cardigan. He slowly picked at the button on the bottom, feeling her hips buck and her toes curl. And they barely started.

He had such control over her.

Will slowly unbuttoned each button, glad to not see a undershirt. He just started to admire the alabaster skin of her stomach when he noticed she was being very quiet, even for her, inexperienced Emma. His sweet virgin Emma.

"Are you okay?" he was met with silence. He picked up his head to look at her face and saw a sight that broke his heart. Emma's eyes where closed tightly, her fists where balled up by her side and she was holding her breath. She nodded in answer to his question, unaware he could see she was lying. "Continue. Please."

"Em,"

"Will, please" She kissed him, long and sensual and he tried to be quiet thinking possibly it was the sounds he couldn't control making her anxious. He kept the kisses slow, everything was slow with Emma. Will moved his hand down from her face to palm the most intimate part of her body.

"Will!" The pressure in his pants got tighter when she screamed and he ground against her.

"Fuck Emma" He breathed against the skin above her breasts.

She shot up, "I-I have to go, I um, I'll be right back."

"Em" She ran hastily out the bedroom before he could say anything or do anything.

Emma never came back. He called her and she didn't answer. He paced around the living room and saw she left her shoes and he allowed his head to lay low. This is such a mess.

"Emma Emma Emma Emma," Will muttered almost to low for himself to hear. He smiled looking at her shoes, they where yellow and the paint was slowly chipping off. He picked up her shoes, went to the linen closet and got out a bottle of shoe polish. Will sat down at the booth in his kitchen and polished Emma's shoes until they where up to her standards. When he was finished he set them down in the previous spot by the door and walked into his bedroom. He was surprised to see the top blanket was disheveled, his shoes and pants still lay at the foot of the bed. Will rid himself of his shirt and climbed into bed, smelling a different smell than the combination of his fabric softener and cologne. Emma. His sheets smelled like Emma. Will deeply inhaled and lay his head on his pillow, wishing more than anything for Emma to be across the bed looking back at him.

"One day, we'll get it right. One day, we'll share control."

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