Morning comes quicker than either of them wish. It always does. The sound of people moving around causes them both to sigh. He gets up and dresses, shooting a longing glance towards where she lies, naked and curled up in his blankets. She meets his eyes steadily. Neither of them says a word. He disappears from his room, leaving her to wait.
She has to wait until the halls are clear to leave, for fear of everyone finding out that she spends her nights in his room. If they do not see, no one will know. She has spent so much time hiding that no one will search for her anymore. But they will search for him, and then they will find her. It is better that he leaves and she waits. While she waits, she thinks of him.
She thinks of the way his eyes, mesmerizing to her in their foreign mix of blue and green, seem to understand her innermost thoughts without effort, even when she knows he doesn't understand at all. She loves the way his bronze hair, stretching down to his shoulders now where before it had barely touched the tips of his ears, tickles her face when he kisses her. She sighs as she remembers the way his golden skin contrasts so very nicely intertwined with her olive.
But it isn't just his body that brings her closer to him every time she sees him. It is his unexpectedly shy humor and his easy-going personality. It is his devotion to the people he cares for, much like her own. It's the way that she can't always understand what's going on in his head, and doesn't want to, because that means that there is always something new to learn about him. It's the way he makes her laugh with his exaggerated flirtations. It's because he's him.
Their nights started as a way to comfort each other, a way to hold each other back from the brink of insanity that lingered dangerously close. An anchor, he called it. And as each day passed, he drew her in with his eyes, his hair, his humor, and his devotion. And despite their agreement that this was just comfort, someone to hold on to until their true love's return, slowly but surely, like the tide eroding stone, he made her fall in love with him.
It took her a while to figure it out. At least this time, though, she figured it out first. No one knows about their nights, and he does not know her feelings nor has he confessed any of his own. She was able to understand what she felt in her own time. She was terrified at first, and horribly guilty. While Peeta is being tortured in a Capitol dungeon, she is falling in love with another man. And that other man also has someone who loves him, and who he loves. This means, she thinks sadly, that there is no room for her in his heart.
She comes back to herself when the door opens again. His eyes are terrified until they land on her. Relief fills them, and he lunges for her. For a moment, he presses his lips to hers furiously, devouring her hungrily. She responds, though her now hazy thoughts wonder why he seems so panicked. Then he pulls back and they are both left gasping for air, him kneeling on the bed in front of her.
"What…?" She asks, breathless.
"Where have you been?" He demands worriedly. "No one could find you."
"I was here." His eyes turn wary.
"It's been four hours since I left." Her eyes widen in surprise and fear enters his gaze. Fear of losing her to the madness, she knows, but she doesn't think that the type of madness that she is suffering from is the type he is afraid of.
"Why were they looking for me?" She asks, trying to distract him. He glances away briefly before turning back to her. His eyes are unreadable, though she can see a storm brewing in them as they flash like lightning crashing into the sea.
"Haymitch sent out a rescue party, to try to get the others."
By the others, she knows he doesn't mean Johanna, though she is surely included. He means Peeta and Annie. He means that what they have is over. She feels like she's suffocating, but she has to hide it. He loves Annie, and Katniss was merely an anchor until Annie returned. He worries for her only because he has been all that is keeping her afloat since the Quell. But now, he won't have to worry about her anymore.
"Are they…?" She begins, but cannot finish.
"They landed ten minutes ago; we've been trying to find you for the past two hours, ever since Haymitch told me." She remains silent. "I heard from Haymitch that they're alright. They're alive, Katniss. And now they're safe." There is something in his voice, a hint of begging. Perhaps he wants to her switch anchors, now that Annie is back to being his. It doesn't escape her notice that he calls her Katniss either; normally he calls her Kitten.
"That's wonderful." She says quietly, turning from him and sitting up.
"Katniss." He says quietly. She pauses but doesn't turn. He's still calling her Katniss.
"Yes, Finnick?" She asks. She feels the bed jerk ever so slightly as he flinches. If she hadn't been paying attention, she would never have noticed. Apparently, he is not so used to her using his full name either.
"I…don't go yet." He says quietly. She sighs quietly.
"That's not fair." She murmurs.
"To who? To them? We stopped being fair to them a long time ago, Kitten." He says scornfully. She stands abruptly and moves to gather her clothes. She feels him move to her and he grabs her from behind gently. "I'm sorry. Please, Katniss, I just…"
"No, Fin, it's not fair to me." She says quietly. She feels him stiffen and she pulls away. Pulling on her shirt, she wishes he would say something instead of allowing the silence that continues. Even if it is pity in his voice, even if it is scorn, she wishes he would say something. This aching silence hurts her worse than anything he could possibly say. In the silence, she hears him approach again.
"Kitten, please." He breathes. Then he is spinning her and his lips are on hers again. His lips press to hers frantically, continuously pulling back long enough to utter another 'please' before pressing to hers again. She can't help but whine in response to his pulling away from her again and again. "Purr for me, Kitten." He pleads, tugging at her shirt. She reaches for his, unbuttoning it and shoving it off his shoulders, and reaches for his belt. He groans in relief and presses his lips back to hers, deepening the kiss now and not pulling away. A frenzy of emotion overwhelms her, desperation the most prominent. She doesn't understand this rushed passion, perhaps it is goodbye, but she dreads its end and his return to Annie and hers to Peeta. This may be the last time she can truly be with him and she is desperate to feel everything one last time.
As their pounding hearts slow, her curled up in his arms, she dreads the moment he will tell her to go. When he shifts, she braces herself, refusing to look up at him from where her face is buried in his chest.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispers.
"For what?" She asks quietly, dreading his answer.
"I know we agreed to keep this just comfort between us, Kat. But…" He trails off, regret in his voice. She stays silent. "By the time I saw the break in the waves, the current already had a hold on me."
"Fin." She says quietly, glancing up with amusement in her face and voice. Sometimes he forgets that she does not know as many ocean comparisons as he does. He grins faintly, but then it fades.
"I'm sorry, Kat. I just…" He hesitates, then takes a long look at her face and continues. "I broke our agreement." He admits quietly, turning away before he can see her reaction.
She is frozen. Did he just…? He had. She stares at him, his face is turned away from her but she can see the dread in every line of his body. He doesn't know, she thinks incredulously. She had thought, unconsciously perhaps, that he had known and ignored her feelings. But he didn't, doesn't, know.
"Fin." She says, unable to help the disbelief in her voice. She sees his body slump and leaps into action before he can leave. She grabs his shoulder and shoves it down, forcing him on his back as she brings herself over him to hold him down. His mouth opens, eyes pleading, but she covers his mouth with hers before he can say anything. She kisses him with all the love she can while he lays immobile under her. Tentatively, he starts to respond and she shifts slightly in praise, bringing a soft groan from his mouth.
"Kitten?" He whispers when she pulls back, disbelief and awe warring.
"And I thought I was always the last to know." She murmurs to him playfully. He laughs incredulously before rolling her under him and pressing joyful kisses to her mouth and face.
"So did I." Haymitch's voice says dryly from the door. Katniss yelps and tugs the covers over her as Finnick rolls off her. She glares at her ex-mentor indignantly. "Don't glare at me like that, Sweetheart. It's your own fault for not locking the door." She shifts her glare from Haymitch to Finnick. He winces and gives her a sheepish smile. "I see Fish Boy found you."