With every tilt of my head, every swallow, every breath, I can feel it resting heavy around my throat - exciting me and comforting me.
The train car jostles as it thunders around another corner, jerking my body side to side in a way I've become desensitized to during my Tokyo life. My grip on the bar above my head, and the subtle grip Makoto has on my waist - also comfort me.
As usual, the car is packed with people. Normally I am desensitized to them as well, their faces the backdrop of my focus on my own life, but today I am aware of each and every face that ignores me as I normally would them.
Most people have earbuds in, and are either looking down at their phones or out the windows at the blurred city. There's a man in a suit in front of me and to my right a bit - I don't think he knows I can hear the base of his music from here. There's a group of high school girls to my left and slightly behind me - they pointed at Makoto and I not-so-subtlety and giggled when they squeezed in but have since forgotten about us in favor of their own conversation. There's some old women up front in a group gossiping just like the high school girls - it's kind of beautiful that no matter how old you get some things never change. There's a group of preteen boys being too loud, a woman who keeps dabbing her eyes with a tissue while reading a novel whose cover keeps appearing this past month, and more suits.
I know, logically, that there's no reason for them to notice me more today than any other day. But the excitement I feel from the collar around my neck makes it a bit hard to be logical.
However, I am not afraid. The soft leather of the navy blue collar, of its meaning, and the warmth of Makoto's hand on my waist keeps me grounded.
We discussed this for a long time. Longer than I think we needed to, but Makoto wanted to make absolutely sure that I was more than okay with this. Fretting as always, some things never change alright. The collar felt like a perfectly natural progression from the ribbon choker he got me awhile back as a surprise. The collar, of course, wasn't a surprise. After reassuring Makoto at least three times that I wasn't feeling belittled in the relationship by having one, I finally got to feel the gentle caress of the leather as my Makoto fastened it around my neck and hear the homey tinkle of the little bell on it ring for the first time.
We both agreed that it would be best to leave the bell at home. It's my first time wearing the collar out in public, and it's simple enough on its own that it could just look like a fashion choice, but leaving the bell on would make things a bit too obvious. I think our waitress at lunch guessed anyway by the way she kept looking at it and smiling, but she was polite and didn't miss a beat. When I told Makoto that I thought she knew he wouldn't take his face out of his hands for at least five minutes.
Every so often my fingers unconsciously toy with my collar. I never had a security blanket as a child, unless you count the bathtub, so I imagine it's like that. Not quite on par with the bath, but a similar comfort a child might feel to hugging their stuffed best friend, or mother's hand.
As I fiddle with the material I take slow, relaxing breaths and immediately feel at ease. My heart rate slows and the faces on the train begin to fade into the background once more. Just a few more stops and then we'll be home.
Makoto's thumb draws circles on my waist lazily. Normally, there's no way he'd make such a romantic, slightly possessive, gesture in public. He simply wouldn't be able to do it without exploding from embarrassment. But today he feels like he can.
The train is so packed that even if someone were looking at us they wouldn't be able to see his hand resting on my waist through the density of the crowd, and that's just the logical side of it. If I know Makoto as well as I think I do, and I do, he feels the effects of the collar as well. It stoaks the possessive embers of his personality gently, keeping them hot and ready to catch fire with the right fuel.
The train car jostles again, tossing me around and prompting Makoto to tighten his hold on me and lean closer, sending a pleasant rush of heat through my body. I can feel the tiniest shifts of Makoto behind me as he slowly, slowly bends down to whisper in my ear.
"Do you like that everyone can see who you belong to, baby?" The words are a low rumble that vibrates through my bones. "I do." His breath caresses the back of my ear, making shivers of desire shoot through my body.
"We're in public…" I mumble, keeping my eyes forward.
"Yes or no?" He prompts softly, rubbing my side with his entire hand now, not just his thumb.
I swallow hard and think about what I want to say for a minute. If I tell Makoto it's too much, he'll apologize and back off. Our quiet ride back home will continue as if nothing was out of the ordinary and he would never even dream of holding it against me. But if I say…
"Yes Daddy…"
Makoto hums in satisfaction, the path of his hand as it roams up and down my body gradually expands all the way up to my chest and all the way down to my hips. Slowly, his hand drifts even lower, riding the angle of my hip bone down and around to my ass. My breath hitches while his large hand gropes and kneads the flesh gently.
Makoto heard my call for my dominant and slipped into the mindset astonishingly fast despite the public setting. Though I suppose he's been partially in the mindset all day. Leading me around with his hand on the small of my back, opening doors for me, fixing my clothes, and ordering my lunch for me are all ways he's dominant and caring.
His hand drifts away from my ass and back up to my torso where he resumes exploring my body over my clothes, effortlessly turning me on. Instinctively my eyes dart around the train car. The man with the music, the high school girls, the old women, the preteen boys, the woman with the tissues, the suits. None of them spare so much as a glance outside of their own worlds.
The train screeches to a stop and we have to shift to allow more people on, a group of students, and Makoto takes the opportunity to press flush against my back.
"Ssshhh, relax princess…" Makoto coos in my ear. My legs instantly turn to jelly at the pet name. "None of them matter, it's just you and me."
He presses a kiss to my hair, just behind my ear and slides his hand up my shirt. I melt into his touch, eyes unconsciously sliding down to half-mast. The train car jostles again and I hardly feel it, completely relying on Makoto to support me. He does not disappoint.
"Just feel good for me, Haru-chan, and I'll keep an eye out for you." I give him a slight nod in response. "That's it…" He sighs happily at my reliance on him.
Makoto's hand meanders up the skin of abdomen to my chest again. He brushes his fingers over my left nipple and kisses my hair again before rolling it under his thumb. I whimper thoughtlessly, before tensing back up when one of the suits glances up at the sound. I swallow all the sounds I normally let free when we're at home as Makoto continues leisurely teasing me, unconcerned with the swift glance of the stranger.
"It's okay, Haru-chan." He soothes, "all that man saw was how pretty you are, and that collar." I almost whimper again at his words. "But you are going to have to be quiet for me right now baby… I know how much you want to moan for me, and I love to hear you, but those sounds are only for me. Okay?" I swallow hard and nod again.
He pinches that nipple and twists it gently, and I manage to keep quiet by clenching my jaw and tangling the hem of my shirt around my fingers.
"That's my good kitten…" He purrs into my ear and slides his hand across my body to give the same treatment to my right nipple. "I know how much you like to have your nipples played with. I'm proud of you for keeping quiet, you're doing so good…"
He places a deep kiss on the nape of my neck as he toys with my nipple, making me shiver again. He finishes playing with the right side the same way as the left, a pinch and a twist, before slipping his hand down, away from my sensitive chest.
"Are you feeling good?" He whispers through the fog in my mind.
I nod and whimper back "Yes Daddy, please keep touching me…"
Makoto palms at my semi-erect cock through the fabric of my jeans, chucking in my ear.
"Anything for my cute, little princess."
My hips buck involuntarily at the contact, but I can't move too much to disturb the other passengers because of Makoto's secure grip on me, keeping me relatively still. He just hums pleasantly in my ear and wraps his hand around the growing bulge, stroking it slow and steady. I can feel his erection start to stiffen against my backside and I try to roll my hips to tease him back.
"No, Haruka." He tells me firmly. I whine quietly in protest but stop trying to tease him.
I'm fully hard and straining against the confines of my pants when Makoto finally stops the steady tempo of his hand. I take a deep, shuddering breath to try and relax, but it's cut short by Makoto's thumb dipping down into my jeans. He pulls them away from my hips slowly, making more heat rush to my already flushed face as he rests his chin on my shoulder and looks down at the steadily growing wet spot on my mint green and white striped panties.
"Already soaking in your panties for my cock." He chuckles again. "Such a naughty little kitten, getting all wet from being groped on the train…" He doesn't touch my cock, just holds my pants away from my hips to watch my dick twitch for him.
"Only because it's you." I breathe between gulps of air as I try to calm my heart rate. But that won't be possible as long as Makoto keeps teasing me.
"Of course baby…" He purrs in my neck. "I already know my good little girl only gets wet for her Daddy…"
I have to bite my lip hard to keep in my gasp at the way he's talking to me. My hips jerk again and I nod too many times in agreement. Makoto grins against my neck and dips his hand past the waistband of my pants, rubbing my cock a bit faster, but keeping a steady pace. I know I won't last long, having completely forgotten where we are. So I just give into the temptation of release and cum in my pants, surrendering another orgasm to Makoto. My mouth falls open but no sound comes out, my head falls back against the thick muscle of Makoto's body and I slump back into him.
"I love you, Haru-chan." He kisses the shell of my ear.
"I love you too…" I slur quietly.
Before I can completely uncross my eyes Makoto drapes his large coat and arm over my shoulders. He steers me towards the train car doors and I distantly realize this must be our stop.
Makoto slows for a split second and tightens his hold on me. Blearily I look up and see him smiling cheerfully at the suit who glanced at us from before, who is now completely red-faced and clutching his briefcase to his crotch. Makoto gives him a curt nod and continues on, taking me out of the station and guiding me home. Vaguely I wonder which of us that man in the suit wanted the place of: Makoto or me.
It really doesn't matter, I suppose.
Makoto unlocks our front door and takes me inside.