After the kiss, things haven't been the same between Ricky and I, we still talk and hang out and talk, but its with John and about John. I meant what I said when I said that I didn't fall head over heels with him because we "practiced kissing", but im not the type of girl that can kiss someone and have it not mean anything.

As for Ricky, well he is Ricky Underwood, he can kiss anyone, that kiss was probably lost in his mind with all the other millions of girls he has kissed. If someone where gonna practice kissing, Ricky was the one to do it with, he had practiced than probably anyone else I knew.

I didn't want things to change though, we were getting along and being really good parents together before, and actually doing things as a family. Now, its just I don't know awkward.

He was coming over today and I was going to try to talk to him about the situation, I want things back to us being a family for my son.

I was feeding John dinner in the kitchen when he drove up.

" Hey, we've been waiting on you , John always knows somehow when your suppose to come and gets all excited and impatient, he will barley eat his dinner.

"Maybe its because you cooked it, you don't have the best culinary skills in the world."

"Thanks Ricky, you always know how to boost my confidence."

" I can just take him out to get something to eat, im starving anyway's."

" Oh, well would you mind if I came, I've been wanting to talk to you lately."

He looked at me oddly, we had never actually went anywhere together, even Johns doctor's appointments always met at the office.

"Sure, do you wanna take my car or yours?"

" Yours, im washing my carseat, he spilled juice all over it on the way home from daycare"

"Alright"

The ride there was awkward, his car was much cleaner then I expected, I was sitting with John when Ricky came back with our food, we opted to just get take out and go to the park. I noticed Ricky's hand were sweaty.

"What's wrong with your hands?"

" I'm kind of nervous, I don't want you to try to take John away, or give me less time with him, cause your seeing that Jimmy kid."

" No, Ricky, your a great father, I wouldn't do that. I'm not even seeing him anymore,I don't have the time for a long distance relationship. I wanted to talk to you about the kiss, I don't want things to get weird with us, I don't know if it was that bad or what, but you've been acting really weird ever since."

"Amy, your not a bad kisser, it was a great kiss,I know my kisses believe me."

" Then why have you been so weird about me lately."

"Because things like that are different with you Amy, your the mother of my child, its not like others, they don't look me in the eyes after, or ever really expect to hear from me again, because I'm Ricky Underwood. You looked me right in the eyes and smiled, its like you didn't think oh he's just Ricky, and the kiss it was a little more then I bargained for."

" Why, im not experienced like Adrian or some or some of the other girls"

" Its not that Ames, when I kiss them, and even the first time I kissed you, I don't care about them, but I did you when I kissed you, I guess I didn't realize how close I feel to you because of John until then, I've never ever kissed anyone and felt that connection before. I just haven't known how to act around you."

" I don't know what to say Ricky.."

" I don't expect you to say anything, you asked so I told you, I know it wasn't a huge deal to you, you've kissed Ben who you cared about. "

" I care about you Ricky, you help me alot with John, you've really stepped up to be a good dad for our son."

" But your a generally caring person, im not, I don't know to do when I feel about someone the way I've been feeling about you lately. I just wished i could of realized it before I went and messed everything that could ever happen with us by never talking to you after band camp."

" Ricky, you know I forgave you when John was born, he made up for everything."

"yeah I don't though."

After that talk we went to swing John, I realized he needed changing and ran back to Ricky car to get the diaper bag. Being the complete klutz that I am I tripped and felt a big rip in my ankle, i screamed as loud as I could and before I knew it Ricky had grabbed John and was right there.

"What happened, Amy?"

" I don't know, I just fell, I think there might be something wrong with my ankle, I cant get up."

"hold on, I'll go put John in the car, and come back and help you."

In no time Ricky was back and before I knew it he had scooped me up and was carrying me across the grass towards the car.

" I should call my mom to take me to the hospital."

" I'll call her, im so sorry Amy I should of went to get it instead of letting you do it."

"Ricky this isn't your fault it is my un ability to walk."

Ricky took me to hospital and my mom met us there, so he took John home and put him to bed.

The doctor wrapped my ankle and said to just rest it for a couple of days, I got some crutches and I went home.

The whole time I couldn't stop thinking of everything Ricky said, and how when he picked me up and I rested my head on his chest, I felt better and calmed down,

When I went home I found a sleeping John and Ricky, John was in his crib, and Ricky was on the chair in my room, I shook him to wake him.

"Ricky, wake up, im home."

" Amy, are you okay?"

" Yeah its not that big of a deal, ill be okay in a couple of days, im just a drama queen."

"Oh, well you scared me enough with how you screamed. I guess ill go home now."

" No stay, its late I don't want you driving tired, sleep in my chair. It really is okay."

"Alright I'll see you in the morning then, try not to get hurt before I wake up."

"ill try"

I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed, very difficultly changing into my pajamas .

When I returned to my room, and Ricky was already back asleep, as I went by I leaned down and kissed him on his forehead .

"thank you" I whispered

I went to the bed, layed down and when I looked over he was staring at me, so he was awake when I kissed his forehead, great.

I just closed me eyes and went to sleep.

The next day when I woke up, Ricky took John to daycare and bring me home my assignments so I could stay in bed and rest. I slept most of the day only getting up to eat, it was sore today, and I wasn't looking forward to John coming home because Mom, Dad, Ashley, and Robbie were all going to Mimzy's for the weekend, I wouldn't be too but I got hurt. So I get to stay home and take care of John all by myself.

fantastic.

Time flew by and then Ricky was dropping off John.

" Hey, are you feeling any better today?"

"it is swollen and sore, but ill make it."

"I have to go to the butcher shop, but ill call when I get off to check on you, is your family still leaving this weekend?"

"yeah, its just me and John roughing it out"

" Well if you need anything then I can always come back, I don't have anything to do tonight, im not seeing Adrian anymore, I cant sleep with someone after they've slept with Ben, just cant."

"Yeah I feel the same way about that situation, I think I should be able to handle it.

"Ill still call anyway's."

It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be with John, he was pretty mellow today, its like he knew I couldn't do any better even if I tried. He could crawl now so it wasn't as hard as if I had to carry him all around.

I still waited to see if Ricky was going to call, and he didn't, it frustrated me. Even though I didn't need help, he said he was going to call. After I thought about it though im sure he told alot of people he was going to call but never did.

I heard someone come in just then, it was Ricky and he had a bag with him, I eyed him suspiciously.

" I called your mom and got the okay to stay here for the weekend and help you out with things, I cant stand the fact of you wobbling around trying to do everything for John."

" Oh, great, im glad to know you'll be around, ill feel more comfortable."

Ricky went upstairs and gave John a bath and put him to he came back down I was sitting on the couch watching a movie and he sat beside me. I looked over and noticed him looking at me.

"what?"

"I don't want you to think that im some sort of crazy person, with what I said yesterday at the park, I know you don't believe me when I said I care about you, and I really want to have your trust, not that im thinking were going to be one big happy family one day, but I like the idea that maybe one day Johns parents will be together, but I know you are disgusted by me so its not likely."

"Ricky, I believed you, and im not disgusted by you, if I was I don't think we would of ever got as far as making John."

"That was before you knew who i really was, know one cares anything for me once they know who i am."

I could tell he looked upset.

"Ricky, What is really wrong with you?"

"I finally found my mom when I took off a couple of weeks ago, reminded me how big of a piece of trash i am."

" Ricky, that's not you, that's not what you are at all, what you are is a fantastic father, friend, and I believe that one day you could even make a good boyfriend or husband. I don't care what anyone else thinks of you, I know who you are, look at what you've done for me just the past couple of days I don't know what I would've done without you."

With that I pushed myself over right beside him so I could give him a hug, I layed my head on his chest and layed like that through the rest of the movie and even drifted off asleep.

When I woke up it was 2 am and we were Ricky was slouched over with his head on the top of the couch asleep and I was still curled around him, he had encircled me in his arms and I felt really safe there, but also really uncomfortable with two people sleeping on one couch.

"Ricky, lets go upstairs, this isn't the most comfortable sleeping place."

"yeah I can tell" Ricky said turning his neck uncomfortably, then he picked me up and carried me up the stairs, he didn't ask if I wanted to be carried but I was tired and kinda happy he just took it upon himself to do it.

Upon arriving in my room, we checked on John , then I went to the bathroom to change into some sleep I went back I noticed Ricky still just standing there.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I might go sleep back down stairs on the couch I don't really wanna curl up in your chair for the second night in a row.

"well you could sleep in the bed with me, I have a big enough bed, and it will be easier for you to start helping me, im not a cover hog honest."

Ricky just looked at me weird and climbed into bed with me, we weren't touching now, but were close enough that we easily could .I looked over at Ricky.

"You know Amy I really regret messing things up bad enough that their can never be an us".

"Maybe you didnt"

He just looked at me with a look of surprise and I smiled, then he leaned over and he kissed me. It wasn't like the practice kiss, it was like a earthquake that rocked all through my body and down to my toes. No one had ever kissed me like that before and I didn't want it to end. I scooted myself closer so he could hold me. I was glad we finally got John to sleep through the night and moved him into the nursery, I wouldn't want him still in my room for this. I never felt like this with Ben, I couldn't even think, all that was on my mind was continuing what we were doing.

That night was the second night I had sex with Ricky Underwood. This time wasn't like the last, it wasn't rushed, or senseless. I knew what was going on, it felt good, and ive never felt this close to anyone in my entire life.